Blog Archives
Client Openings Update
Quick update on the client openings for my 5 week/6 session intensives of Intuitive Energy Guidance/Coaching.
I completely forgot that I will be away for most, if not all, of May and so I will not be able to take any clients for that month.
As mentioned, I was reopening space for 2 clients per 5 weeks, but due to this realization, I am going to open 1 more space for the April sessions and once that is filled, I won’t be able to take anymore clients until June.
And for those of you who have booked/or will be booking for April, I will need to double up on sessions on both the front and back end in order for us to get through the work together before I head out without you having to wait until June to complete it. So the usual 5 weeks, will be condensed to 4 weeks.
Reminder – March is full and 2 of the now 3 spaces for April are full too.
If interested in booking this, or want more information, you can visit the link here:
Update on Available Spots & a Dream
This is just a brief update that the March spots I opened for the 5 week intensive of Intuitive Energy Guidance are filled and I may only have 1 spot left to start the next 5 week intensives beginning April. If you feel called to this and resonate with working in partnership with me, you can reserve that now at this link, which provides details and options of Pay-As-You-Go (with 6 session/5 week commitment) or One-Time Package Savings: Intuitive Energy Guidance
I can only support 2 clients per five weeks and am going by my own intuitive guidance on how long I’ll continue offering this.
If you have any questions you can message me here: CONTACT
Last night I had an amazing dream about several winged horses flying through the sky and a large group of people, myself included, were being fitted with our own “wings,” so to speak, to be able to fly. And then I watched as people were practicing and facing their fears of heights and such, as they tried out their wings.
I remember one of the people fitting the wings saying to me that they thought perhaps my fear of heights would keep me flying low. Little did they know that when it comes to flying, fear doesn’t have any place within me. And off I went proving them wrong, as I flew to great heights.
I loved this dream, as it felt to symbolize a new consciousness and paradigm arriving, of more people beginning to and continuing to reach great heights, greater freedom, ability to harness magick in the material plane and manifest dreams and intents, greater balance and sense of true empowerment being harnessed, and more grounded transformations unfolding.
And I loved the mirror of that involving the offering I’ve put out again, as it feels connected with more people ready to step up and out…ready to fly…and will.
I hear so many wonderful shifts taking place for so many collectively and that is where I choose to focus my efforts and energy and helping as many as possible to be free.
Limited Time Offering & Quick Updates
A lot of movement, energy, and changes abound for everyone for sure these days, which is both exciting and at times challenging. Personally, I’ve been splitting my time between nature, self-nurturing, creating my magickal pieces – completed two wands (will share when all the pieces are done), writing, life plan/manifestation work, embodying/holding my vibration amidst the world dynamics at work, and sharing inspirational support to support collective energy that channels through via the different online and social media outlets I’m on. These are the things that have called to me most to be focused on in terms of the bigger picture at work.
This month is busy and I’m excited for a new personal change coming on 2/14 to reflect the me on the outside, as I am on the inside, and may have a big manifestation take place this month, which all seems aligned with my birthday upcoming too. Yay!
Quick update on the crystal jewelry offerings before I put the rest on ebay: Several pieces are gone, but there are still some to choose from if they call. You can find options here:
That said, I’ve continued over the last year and a half or so to receive messages and requests for services I was offering before, but as you know needed to take time for myself and switch gears with new inspirations channeling through.
Most of the previous services I will likely not be offering again any time in the future, as I simply have moved into a new leg of my journey. I know that may be disappointing to some, and I thank you for your understanding in the changes I need to honor.
A couple of the things I’ve offered in the past may circle round again in new ways or when aligned again.
One of those seems to be coming up now. So, while I still remain focused on my projects, I recently started getting a big nudge to open a space for some more intimate support beyond the messages that channel through to post, due to the challenges people are sharing with me they are having with things from major life changes, struggles with the collective energy, confusion with what to do next, and/or not able to move forward or create new because of something holding them back, etc.
With that said, beginning March 1st, as February is too full right now with commitments and visitors, I am going to open up a space for up to two clients only, each 5 weeks for a while – time to be determined by inner guidance.
Perhaps it’s just because of the collective need right now to get over some hurdles and get momentum into a new paradigm. What ever the reason, I’m honoring that nudge.
So this means I will offer my 6 session/5 week intuitive energy guidance coaching (only this offering and not any individual, 3 or 5 package sessions you may find on my web page), as I feel it is the most effective commitment.
If interested and want more info, you can visit the link or message me here: CONTACT
Again, ONLY up to 2 clients I am able to support based on time and energy I have available to offer.
If you want to begin right away on March 1st, you can reserve this with me now. The next 6 session/5 week support will begin the first week of April, but I’m not clear yet how long I’ll offer this. It may only be for a brief time.
It looks like I only have 1 space remaining for March.
Here is the link with option of Pay-As-You-Go (with 6 session/5 week commitment) or One-Time Package Savings:
Loving support to everyone!
Embodying & Emanating Essence ~ How I’m Integrating Holistic Being on Every Level
So much rapid change taking effect in very literal ways for everyone and I’ve found it to be directly tied to greater embodiment of one’s own essence and authenticity, which then emanates clearly through. It’s connected to the messages we’re receiving about stepping up, raising our vibrations, and living out loud with greater courage and integrity to our nature of origins. And when we do, everything shifts in direct reflection to that in our environment, interactions, experiences, realities, and even how we start to look physically in correlation to our energetic frequency glowing from the inside out.
And the more we embrace who we are and aren’t afraid to put it out there, the more others feel greater ease and comfort in doing the same too.
I’ve written before on how my lifestyle and life path changes have changed so much for me as a result of embracing deeper integration of my uniqueness and what feels most authentic to myself, along with making balance and harmony a foremost focus and experience.
And while we speak often about the emotional, mental, and spiritual ways this happens and takes effect, we often overlook the physical because there’s an undercurrent of negativity placed there or invalidation of it because that’s thought to NOT be part of “ascension” ideas and living a spiritual life.
Time and again I’ll reiterate that it’s about integration….physical and spiritual together in harmony and each reflecting the other.
“The very reason each exists is to integrate wholeness and realize the partnership they share, one channeled through the other.
The physical becomes sacred.
The spiritual becomes tangible.
And together they exist simultaneously in harmony.”
(Excerpt from my book, Spiritual Skin)
I’ve always been quite literal in making outer transformations or taking actions that match my shifts internally or the shifts I desire to make, so as to create a space for me to grow into. Such has been the case, for instance, with my sacred tattoos. But it’s also been with things like my hair, my clothing, adornments, and even my body or face morphing.
A lot of this is that I tend to feel “not myself” if the outer doesn’t match the inner or where I’m headed and some of it is as a direct result of needing to express my personality, unique creative self expression, and way in which feels most aligned with the “real” me.
Some simply happens naturally and some with intention to match the natural.
So, as mentioned, with so many shifts lately for me in very dramatic ways, I’ve seen this naturally express itself with how I look and my desires to share how I feel.
Some results that naturally happened are my hair growing long very quickly, my silver grays growing in abundantly, but in a very almost deliberate way (someone recently called them “highlights from the Fae,” which I’ve now adopted and love), my body taking on a naturally balanced, more Earthly fullness rather than my waif self, my skin finding its healthy, clear balance because of my own, and my body becoming fully adorned with sacred and balanced art that feel like adornments reflecting the inside out I couldn’t imagine not being there (some people have shared they can’t imagine me without them and that they’ve never seen tattoos placed in such a way where they are like they’ve manifested themselves in transparency of revealing what’s underneath.)
And of course the way I dress has gone, and continues to go, through constant transformation, which is why I move out clothes often and bring in new that are more reflective and help me feel like “me” just as my tattoos help me to feel more at home in my own skin.
I immediately can feel “off” if my hair or clothing is not matching the vibe of how I’m feeling and what I’m creating in my life currently – literally, making me feel quite energetically icky and out of place.
And over this last year that has taken a huge turn, as mentioned already in my hair taking its natural, ancient and cosmic “roots”, and just this Saturday while visiting and taking my parents out to celebrate my mom’s upcoming 74th birthday tomorrow, I knew I needed to have my hair freshened and purged.
My mom used to be a beautician (what her family did back in France), so she’s done my hair a lot over time and Saturday we chopped off four inches to my very long hair. This felt necessary, as the ends are literally and symbolically the oldest parts and carry the energy of the past…so it felt important to literally shed it, just like my dreams of snake skins recently, and how I regularly enjoy body scrubs to slough off old skin too.
Being that my hair had grown so long, it still remains so, but it was amazing once again to see and feel how that made a difference even without getting a whole new hairstyle – yet. 😉 I not only looked different, but felt completely lightened and new and it even activated the next phase of change upcoming with more hair shifts to match dreams and visions I’ve been having of my origins.
But on top of this, I’ve purged, minimized further, and refreshed my wardrobe as well, and all of this has really become outwardly a reflection of the magickal parts of life and my wanting daily to, in all ways, live fully as all that I love and really am, and will keep me clearly focused on the path ahead in the most embodied and aligned way.
This has seemed to morph me literally into my Faery Bunny self, with hints of cosmic, ancient, and water nymph/mer qualities.
So while people may have felt this about me, it really isn’t something one would have to “feel into” anymore, as it’s becoming quite literal.
I feel and see this to be happening more and more with many people, as things shift and we’re lighting up those latent parts of our DNA, stepping up and out, and integrating more of our Cosmic and Earthly selves, we are seeing this in how we find ourselves walking in our human bodies as more of the otherworldy beings we have retrieved and remembered, through physical form here.
Exciting times and feels so much more natural.
So while most people know I’m a rabbit lover or perhaps a crazy rabbit lady 😉 some may not know how far that extends, but truly my life is immersed in Faery bunny energy through and through.
These are just some photos of the magickal bunny wardrobe I have and wear below. Photos include: 3 sparkly vegan rabbit shoes (I normally only wear flats, but bunnies have me reaching to new heights again these days when I feel so called), matching vegan rabbit purse, a one-of-a-kind amethyst carved rabbit ring, a purple satin skater dress with dancing bunnies, an aqua poodle skirt with bunny border, and my Peter Rabbit collection of vintage 60’s dress, wedge heels, vintage Beatrix Potter original sweater, and my Peter Rabbit statue from Laura.
Laura has even said I’ve literally turned into a Faery bunny, like this photo that briefly captured this in me seeping through in one of my shape shifting moments a couple of years ago and now seems to be the pervading emanation these days, although has integrated with the other elements I shared above, too. I’m curious to see how this will evolve and morph in the days and months ahead.
But what you don’t see pictured here is that my wardrobe and sacred space also include a vintage rabbit cardigan, 4 rabbit t-shirts, 3 rabbit tank tops, 3 rabbit leggings, 1 rabbit sweatshirt, several rabbit pendants and rings, 1 rabbit scarf, rabbit flannel jammies, rabbit artwork, a stuffed rabbit I sleep with (the surrogate bunny to my little ones that they enchanted), a rabbit support pillow, crystal rabbits, and other rabbit pieces for my sacred space.
LOL!
And the rest of my wardrobe contains various other elements of “me” and anything that doesn’t I either have, or will continue to weed out.
I’ve fully cracked open the Cosmic egg and all the “me” is oozing out for sure without worrying what others may think. Just simply about living a life of passionate purpose by looking within and seeing what truly moves me and melting into that love.
One sweet friend of mine shared, “I love your daring use of fantasy fairy elements proving that fashion is for fun and personal pleasure and in this case also the delight of others.”
It reiterated to me, that when we embrace what truly brings us the greatest joy, express that in any and all forms, and understand how we can utilize all aspects of life and the material in creative, healthy, and valuable ways, we also bring that same energy to others to experience through our expressions and to mirror the relative possibilities within each other to do more of what supports this too in life.
So while I could just feel and emanate my essence energetically, I’ve been guided to literally take this through to all levels of experience, to include the physical as an expression of consistency and action in a holistic way and through every avenue of my existence here.
Having peeled back the layers I find clarity in my divine desires and that all things I’m about are truly encapsulated in the focus of what inspires me most. Channeling this into soul fulfillment, dream manifestation, and the reality of my choosing is the gift of letting this desire move through me and that includes moving through me in any and all ways – sharing and expressing my deepest divine desires and beingness.
One of my oracle tarot cards I recently pulled, shared this beautifully,
“Desire sometimes gets a ‘bad rap’ in spiritual circles, or it is celebrated as being something that should be pursued without restraint. The truth that will serve most spiritual aspirants best is somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. Desire need not be a distraction from your spiritual journey nor a goal to be pursued at any cost, even to your own integrity. Desire on the spiritual path can become a way to know what is going to move and inspire you enough to see you through the challenges that arise when you want to create a contribution to the world. If you long to bring your ideas to life, rather than keep them only as ideas, then desire can become enlivening fuel for the spiritual path, motivating you to act rather than hesitate. Searching for your true soul desires helps you find what it is you can believe in more than fear or doubt.”
I believe that living our authenticity in any and all ways that feels truest to ourselves and expresses our passions is effective use of creative power and supportive of personal empowerment and frequency, joyous living, and inspirational motivation that aligns and supports us with our intents, while igniting similar fires within others.
Plus, it simply brings a little sparkle of joy to the day, some giggles, and smiles…and if nothing else, that’s worth a lot!
Hope, Healing & Harmony ~ Dream Journeying with Two Blue Snakes & a Gila Monster
Dream time has been SUPER active and potent in conscious awareness again, after a short lull of things not needing to come to awareness in waking life about them and not remembering them upon waking in the morning like I normally do, even if I had during the night if I awoke. This to include another surge of dreaming about so many people I know, whether met in person or not. Collective stuff is swirling hugely with major transformation happening for all. Yet this last Friday, 1/20, I had quite a potent dream again with snake at the forefront, which felt both personal and collective since it happened to be on the night of the inauguration and before the next day of marches across the states.
I’ve been experiencing myself more and more as a transmitter, so to speak, but now taking place in a more empowered and conscious way than it used to be the first part of my life. In this way, it does not affect or trigger me, but I remain a detached observer and channel transmuting energies.
It’s all very fascinating, more so because I am aware of the evolution of this and it not tormenting me or confusing me as it did when I didn’t have my Pisces fish in balanced grasp. That tug of two fish swimming in opposite directions can be challenging, but also provides the path to a Middle Way.
Anyway, Friday night’s dream was fascinating to me as well. I hadn’t had time to share more in depth about it until now.
I have dreamed of snakes often and shared of them before like in this post: A Little Full Moon Snake Dream Activation, but this one was very different again and involved blue snakes and two dreams converging.
The first dream found me in bed and finding a snake skin at the end by my feet in the covers on top of the bed. I knew where there’s a skin there must be a snake and so I searched the room to find the snake. The room itself was unique as it was both indoors and outdoors with a floor of grasses, bushes and rock where there would otherwise be flooring or carpet. I found the snake in the bordering tall grasses of the perimeter of the room and it was beautiful.
It was a lighter to medium blue color with medium to darker blue marking and smaller in size. The first thing that came to me was “blue cornflower snake,” which I remembered upon waking.
Then my dad shows up and it was unlike him to approach a snake, although would think it beautiful, and may have connotations about it. But my dad behaves differently and magickally. He goes closer and very intentionally towards it putting his hand out even closer, less than a foot away. I tell him to be careful because it is a very poisonous snake, but he edges closer with his hand with peace and centeredness and the snake for a moment slowly pulls his neck back as if to strike, but instead does not.
He gently leans in closer, as if mesmerized and in communion with my dad and his hand. They are in perfect harmony and as if my dad has charmed the snake with his balanced energy.
I then wake up and tell myself to remember this dream and the name of the snake that came to me, as I didn’t feel like getting up and writing anything down.
I then go back to sleep and the dream continues. I don’t ever remember this happening even if I want it to, or at least not that I consciously remember.
The dream continues with the memories I intended but shifts into a new version of the dream as an add-on.
Again, I find another skin and go searching for the snake that shed it. But before finding the snake a blue gila monster walks across the center of the room and through the grasses with slow deliberate steps. I am only needing to see it and then my attention goes back to finding the snake I’m aware of being there.
This time I find it under the corner of the bed where the mattress is caving down inside the bed frame revealing it below. It is again a beautiful blue snake, much like the other, but much larger…like a boa.
I stand straddling the corner of the bed and this area that is open revealing the snake below, but I start to sink lower and lower, caving in toward the snake and he pulls back again like the other, but does not strike. He is inches from my ankles and feet, but again we seem to be in harmony together. (Ankles are connected to Aquarian energy and feet to Piscean energy….both very strong for me in my astrological chart).
This is all I remember, but seemed like I got all of the important parts to bring back into waking life for sure to this layered and potently symbolic dream.
When I woke I started researching blue snakes….there are quite a few – Blue Racer Snakes, Blue Coral Snakes, Eastern Hognose Snake, and yes, even Blue Corn Snakes….and more.
No blue cornflower snakes, at least that I could find, but either that was how I interpreted it, or it was because the “cornflower” part was significant to remember too for symbolism sake.
There is so much one could interpret from this dream, especially given symbolism of everything, and I won’t go into all of the possibilities or full personal interpretation I have been piecing together, but will bring to light a few things, as I always find it helpful to share how we can figure out the meaning for ourselves of things by looking into our lives with honesty, doing a little bit of online researching on our own, looking at what’s going on in and around us, the collective field of experience, etc.
The first smaller snake I find to represent my inner child, on a personal level…and the little girl me. The communion in harmony with my dad felt like a new layer to our relationship has been activated and my making peace and harmony with the old male that is now in process of transforming. That I’m taking back my power in terms of the male and the father role in my life and equality is taking place here, not to mention I am now bringing forth a new empowered and balanced male through my life that the snake skin shares I have shed.
The larger, boa-like snake, being the new me and transforming my Pisces and Aquarian aspects of myself – I have Sun and Mercury in Pisces, as well as Jupiter and Venus in Aquarius.
And we are in the Aquarian Age, having transitioned out of the Piscean Age, so there is much transformation afoot – no pun intended. 😉
It also speaks to me about my dad going through his own personal transformations with himself in relation to this and coming more into balance with his divine feminine parts.
And then I see a collective symbolism of the shifts taking place and the potentials for us all where the male and female energies are finding their way slowly to greater balance through all of these turbulent and transformational times that are shaking up things and creating opportunity for us on a bigger level even though temporarily seem like something completely different.
The latter due to the tie-in with the inauguration that calls to mind these specifics people have been warring over and having great torment about emotionally, which is bringing rise to new perspectives and more unified ways of seeing things through greater compassion to understand one other…or at least that’s the opportunity. My dream presented a hopeful outcome.
And hope is present with the reference to the cornflower, although this is a flower that carries very dramatic and mixed symbolism over time…this is the one thing that stands out to me the most in all that I researched.
There are references to its fragility, but being quite a courageously determined plant that can withstand harsh elements and still thrive where other plants cannot.
It can be traced back to ancient times and old traditions, including Ancient Egypt where it was connected to life and fertility, reanimation and resurrection.
All parts of the plant have been used medicinally and according to Greek mythology when Achilles was wounded by a poisoned arrow, the wound was healed by applying cornflower plants. Interestingly that poison in the arrow was said to come from Hydra, usually depicted as a huge poisonous water snake, but interpreted as a giant slug. In Christianity, slugs were associated with the devil, just as snakes have been, and the cornflower remedy became a symbol of Mary and Christ, often found in Christian fresco depictions.
And there’s the energy of tenderness, reliability, fidelity, and power, sovereignty, and majesty throughout time that came to be linked with cornflower as well.
And there has also been complicated layers to it, as Bernhard Weidinger, a Vienna historian shared, “It was the German Kaiser Wilhelm’s favourite flower, and was used by pan-German nationalists in the 19th Century.”
“Then between 1934 and 1938, when the Nazis were a banned party in Austria, it was the secret symbol they used to wear in order to recognise each other.”
And the Freedom Party whose color is blue, wears cornflowers.
Brings light to my thoughts on a collective transformation in process with these paradoxes of meaning.
But still I focus on “hope” in light of it all, and potential that could unfold with our conscious efforts.
Blue is a color of peace, calm, trust, communication…it is also the color of water and sky – water and air elements – and of the throat and third eye chakras…in this case more emphasis on the throat by the color I saw in my dream, but connecting with the third eye with the darker blue markings. This bringing focus on a new level of inspired and intuitive self expression, communication, song and sound…all things feeling relevant for me and my focuses, but also in the greater landscape.
Air and water elements are bringing mind and heart together in balance as well, male and female governed energies, and a greater fluidity and ease of flow with change, abundance, and expansion.
There is an element of healing help the snake’s presence brings to the primal parts within us….our origins.
There was nothing negatively felt in the dream, nor any pervading fear, although I’d stated caution to my dad when he went close, but I did not overreact or try to intervene or panic. It was from a place of knowing this was out of character for him and that I didn’t know if he knew how to handle the situation, and yet he did.
I have long through my life worked on healing my throat chakra, empowering my voice, and speaking up for myself and voicing my uniqueness…not being afraid to express who I am, share my ideas and beliefs, despite anyone including my family or dad potentially thinking certain things of me. After all, he is a Virgo, my opposite, and my role has been to temper these opposites within myself, while remaining authentic to me rather than follow in his footsteps. And yet, he had many positive things to teach and help me to integrate into my own version of new male energy…something by my own example directly relates to his own journey too.
It also speaks to how sound has become a pervading element to my life through both my voice, song, sound channeling, singing bowls, and frequencies (recently gifting myself for my birthday two quartz crystal singing bowls that I knew I had to have that are a binaural beat theta wave pair – talk about potent balancing and invoking conscious dream, receptivity and opening a gateway to all things watery).
Snakes are particularly connected to this as well, not just the blue color that showed up connecting to the throat and ear and telepathy….they don’t have eardrums or external ears or openings like we do, but do have tiny bones in their head that conduct sound and allow them to hear low frequency sounds and sense vibrations traveling through Earth.
The blue gila monster also felt very potent to show up (it is one of two truly venomous lizards), as I had never had this before and didn’t know of its energy other than its transformative reptilian connections of essence I’m aware of. In looking more into gila monster it supported these things as I learned it teaches us to stand strong in what we believe and to protect that which is ours. It also teaches of the rhythm of life and maintaining balance and flow, but keeping determined and quiet about things in your journey while in process, preserving your energy, not overextending (gila monsters spend up to 95% of time undergroound and can go without eating for a year), are about survival, strength, and healing and connected with masculine energy.
And of course snakes are hugely transformative and healing in their wisdom, awakening creative forces, intuition, perception, and life force. Connected with the Sun and golden light, there is great alchemy with snakes that brings vitality and renewal to our understanding of our wholeness.
One of my spirit guides is Rainbow Serpent Teacher, which is why snake is always around and I wear a snake upon my right hand and wrist as a sacred tattoo and had a ring made as a serpent with a reminder mantra from this guide of my engraved inside of it.
There is a link to the Great Mystery, cosmic consciousness, and shamanism with snake energy – again very active and showing up in greater ways for me, personally, right now, including my creation of the pieces I’m told to make including wands, scepter, and staves channeling through.
But this is happening on a grander, collective scale where things are all coming to the surface for us to integrate and no longer suppress or deny.
The snake guides us and acts as guardian to those that embrace its energy, helping us to travel to sacred places and retrieve parts of ourselves on a cellular level and the hidden knowledge that lies within.
The skins of course are about shedding as a ritual to rebirthing and spiraling into new levels of awareness and being.
A potent dream for sure and perhaps it “sheds” some light on something within your own experience, or inspires some extra hope within the chaos to help keep you grounded and centered.
Winter Solstice Reflections

As I sit here watching the snow gently fall, creating magick all around me, I am in gratitude of the cycles and seasons of life that have brought me to this very moment. I’m also in awe of the perfection of this sweetness falling from the heavens like powdered sugar, in perfect creation of what will be a potent and memorable day. This Winter Solstice has been chosen by my beloved Cosmo as the day to spread some of his ashes upon the lake to join in alchemy with Joy’s and Nestor’s, igniting a sacred wave of shifts abound.
Other things are also taking place today and ending/beginning, so I will be reflecting upon and adding energy to the magickal brew a-stirring.
Today marks another new cycle and change of seasons as we welcome in the Winter Solstice (for the Northern Hemisphere and Summer Solstice for the Southern Hemisphere). This brings the end of the old year’s cycle, as we begin anew, and provides a supportive time to make leaps in consciousness by moving within to shine your light, as the light lessens on this shortest day/longest night of the year (or longest day of the year for you Southern Hemisphere folks).
We’ve been continuing to clear in preparation for new and more natural ways of living from our highest and likely you’ve been experiencing heightened awareness of all things in your life through varying ways of experiencing these, relative to each, and coming to feel more self alignment and merging taking place.
This is creating an upsurge of excitement, as you feel the energy field welcoming you into your truth more than ever.
Where ever you are in your journey, is perfect, and likely you have that sense, even if moving through the “ick” still, that there’s something different this time in the experience.
I simply would encourage you to let go, do what ever you can to maintain your own inner balance and harmony so that you can vibrate at your own relaxed and natural personal frequency, and compassionately realize that you are different than everyone else and therefore you only need to exercise your own sovereign free will and lovingly allow them to do the same.
More and more you will be experiencing, embodying, and emanating so much more light, which is not to be feared, but to be celebrated.
Through this Winter Solstice “gateway” you can be mindful of this turn of seasons to be more soul driven and may feel called to take some moments to honor this flowing change of life cycles. Perhaps creating a special sacred space or ritual act to honor the “return of light” that this Solstice is reminding us.
Candles and crystals come to mind when I think of ways you might symbolically create that space, or perhaps simply envisioning and imagining (imagination is a powerful tool) the light and inner fire of your heart and soul expanding and filling your entire body and emanating out and joining with the light of our Great Central Sun, allowing yourself to take up more space and be who you really are.
Winter Solstice provides a supportive time to honor the remembrance of light that you are, for making those leaps in consciousness by moving within to shine your own light, and to “see the light” even when things get dark and you’re unsure of what to do, where to go, or even how to think or feel.
There is so much potential available to each of you and it is up to each individual how you choose to embrace this or not. It’s an opportunity to completely reinvent yourself and your life and to do things more differently than ever before, which will take the courage of being willing to shine your light even if no one else around you is.

A lovely Christmas card I received this year from a beloved friend that reminded me of the little faery ballerina me, alongside a photo of me at 3 years old practicing my ballet poses.
Childhood memories of myself as a ballerina and the passion I expressed through me with dance brings depth to the meaning of today’s “rebirthing of the Light” and life and spirit.
We all have the opportunity to courageously be born again like a seed of light, as we deepen into the stillness of the dark.
There is much hope and promise within remembering the heart of who I am and what was alive within me as a child. Some of what I/we may have forgotten.
There’s an integration that takes place and frees me even more when I reclaim those parts of my essence.
What this means to me is that what ever it is I do take action to bring forth in my life, the little girl within me will be dancing her heart out while doing it, as the dream is the reality I choose to live and nothing less than that.
Wishing you a liberating and enlightening Winter Solstice.
May your courage deepen and the creative impetus of transformation shine brightly within you.
Fears, Mourning & Leaps Into the New
I’m noticing how so many conscious souls are finding themselves in this “recreating self” mode of visioning and embodying new expressions that are most soulfully and heartfully aligned with essence. And this seems to involve a huge rush of expansive possibilities excitingly knocking on the door. So many potentials, so many doors….the question being which to open, and in direct connection, which to close? There are so many potentials to choose from and the beauty is, you can create any reality you want, as the energetic environment is fertile for sure! The key is to make that first choice to take a step forward, which is usually the largest hurdle and may be the one causing the most challenge or fear.
Sure, there is timing, alignment, and flow to be mindful of and definitely honoring that fluidity of energy right now that can shift at the drop of a gnome’s hat, so everything is really about an organic process that reveals itself moment to moment by being in natural harmony with all things.
But there is also that fear hurdle – fear of making the wrong choice, fear of the new, fear of stepping into your most authentic footprints yet, fear of not succeeding, fear of vulnerability in bringing forth the most truest heart parts of yourself into the world in big ways, fear of letting go of what has been comfortable and you’ve become expert at, fear of saying no to opportunities that “seem” different or play on your “service mentality” making you think “what if” this is an exception you can still be involved in, fear of not knowing if what you’re choosing is the end result you want…..and the list goes on.
I know for myself in terms of fears this also equates to my boundaries. I’ve always been one to give and want to help, not had any boundaries as a Pisces, and have spent lifetimes in service roles, and yet now I’m rewriting the idea of “to serve” into something more like “showing up authentically and living from the highest frequency of my soul signature” which automatically is for the highest good of all concerned without having to differentiate and without giving up personal power by placing one, if even by definition, in a subservient or martyr role.
I say “no” to everything that doesn’t feel to feed my creative freedom and joy right now. I stay consistent with that no matter how much something pulls on my heart strings, as I know that when I make the move forward into the new, the old will come at me in many forms and disguises simply because it’s the natural process of cleansing and bringing it up.
If I let one thing in, then the old gets in in slippery ways.
Has that brought up stuff for me? Of course!
Has it challenged me? Definitely!
Have I felt the fears of walking away from successful things? Sure!
But what I found is the more I consistently committed to saying “no” and honoring my boundaries in a truly compassionate way which accounts for true responsibility for the highest good of all concerned, the easier it has been and it becomes crystal clear what is the new and the old, what is the me now and the me then.
So I keep moving forward and the old’s power diminishes, while the strong becomes fortified and my courage and conviction for what I know to be of truest expression to myself grows.
I’ve risked walking away from successful things and even likely having people think I’m crazy, but I’d rather be me than doing something that drains me or that appeases others ideas.
I keep saying no to so many requests from potential clients, because I know in my heart that my heart is not there anymore.
And like many of you, I’ve had that quandary of not knowing where to begin…having so many irons in the fire of ideas and potentials. But as I explored each of them, I discovered where the energy was most speaking to the now, which would likely lead and open doors to more, including the rest, and which currently was the most passion-fulfilling and heart connected in this moment of joyful expression and what was aligned with the collective new reality I’m helping to cocreate.
And so I started there, knowing there is no ONE end result, but it is all an unfolding process that I listen to the energy of in each moment.
I/we need to take a step and the rest unfolds from there….there isn’t a wrong choice. There’s just choice.
If you can’t figure out which speaks most to you, just try one and see if the energy flows, or if it gets blocked and then you’ll be led to the next step.
Or, you’ll discover yourself totally immersed in flow and passionate expression and know you’re in the perfect place for now.
But the Universe waits for you to make a choice and then aligns with you, and that choice will also be evident by the energetic environment and what seems to be showing up, flowing most easily, and likely has had signs thrown at you that you might be ignoring since you are waiting for how all of the things you see will come together now.
That is a process. It all IS happening now, but in a different way than you think.
So the first fear hurdle is making a choice. Once you do that, you will see how things flow and open and become easier to navigate, to feel/see more clearly, and understand.
And yes, I have my own personal vulnerabilities and fears of the new, or rather the self-doubts that creep up. But I’m happy to say that they are outweighed and outlived by my trust in the energy I feel that surpasses the doubts now.
So while they can come into my experience now and then, I am easily able to walk myself through them within minutes and understand them as indication of my willingness to see them and move through them, while also indicating a new found strength, courage, and commitment that is running the show now, rather than the doubts or insecurities.
It’s truly a beautiful process when we partner with ourselves and our subconscious and inner child. We can have honoring and compassionate conversations that result in pure alchemy.
So while in essence the new I’m focusing on is within the umbrella of the creative me I’ve always been expressing, they are new ventures and perhaps in some ways not exactly how people imagined I’d bring it forth. Although, once I do, my guess is that because it is so aligned with my essence, people will likely say, “oh yeah, of course that’s Tania!”.
And yet there is that risk of greater and greater vulnerability to put out there the more we dig deep into the well of our souls and bring it forth publicly.
That can be scary, but it is inevitably freeing and liberating, as you release the self-bondage that’s been heavily carried all these years, or perhaps lifetimes and draining your energy to truly shine and share with the world.
Do I know if what I will create will be what is known in the world as “successful” or equal what I’ve done that was “successful”?
No, but I know it is a success if I’m doing exactly what I know in my heart I’m wanting and needing to do and doing it simply for the sake of it’s being the breath of life for me and not spending and wasting time on trying to figure out how that equates in any other way, as to me that takes care of itself when we are authentically being.
That is MY idea of success….when I’m living a life from my heart and every day is a joy to be expressing myself and experiencing my version of reality.
So that brings us to mourning.
When we’re creating the new we may go through a process of mourning the old….whether an old way of life, a relationship, any kind of experience of loss, a job, a home, or a part of ourselves.
This is natural and goes along with the fear process, as when we mourn, we may also have fears brought up that go hand-in-hand with it of thinking we will never again experience something like that again or that it never gets any better, that you’ll never experience what you want, etc.
And the truth is, you won’t experience something like that again.
But you’ll experience something better, which you can’t imagine right now from the place of your current, natural mourning, cleansing, and releasing of the old process.
Everything is relative to where we are currently.
The new is only possible to experience in the essence of our imagination, but will be even better than what you envision.
I always intend things to be “this or something better,” as I never limit myself to what I am only capable of seeing/thinking/imagining at the moment, as possibilities are unlimited.
But yes, we will mourn and that is something to honor for sure, while having gratitude for all that we’ve experienced and have been blessed with whether seen as gifts or not – because they all are and have helped us get to this point – and we will go through that human heart process of temporary growing pains for sure.
Let it flow….and it will flow through.
I have this going on in very literal ways with processing my own mourning of Cosmo, not long after mourning Joy – my two rabbit best friends and wise teachers who recently transitioned within four months of each other.
And they, to me, represent the passage of an old era of me, and mourning so much more than the beautiful physical companionship we shared.
Joy especially ended a time period of my life since she came into my life over 7 years ago when so much was shifting for me.
And Cosmo ended another huge shift in my life that came to closure with the new self-discovery journey and the Magick Bus explorative adventure to move energy into the new.
And yet they both knew exactly when to leave this Earth plane, as I’m embarking on the new and they’ve ingrained the knowing of my soul path most deeply to prepare for what’s coming. They know how best to support me from the other realms for magickal assistance and channeling.
With each passing of my beloved soul companions – Nestor, Joy, Cosmo and Gaia the tortoise, I’ve always thought I’d never have that connection again, and yet each time I did and it deepened.
Yes, I’ve been challenged in my heart, even though I know with all my heart and soul they are with me so strongly and not gone at all. I’ve had a lot of mourning with Cosmo especially due to our daily intimate connecting on a constant basis that was very physical as well as spiritual.
But the sadness is true alchemy for me, as I channel it all in greater depth of creative self expression and even deeper knowing of myself and my path and this shows up in what I bring through me, as it does for us all.
It is through the beauty of mourning, which reminds me of Gaelic “keening” that one’s exquisite soul expression comes to graceful surface. Keening is a deep soulful, eerily beautiful lamenting song that is expressed by women in Ireland and Scotland at funerals and in honor of the “dead”.
And so, I keen a song of honor of all that was and is, as a beautiful and divine tapestry that brings us to the culmination of all that IS in the now.
Through acknowledgment and embrace of our fears, through the natural process of grieving, through loving ourselves and honoring what is in our hearts, through courageous steps, we make leaps into the new.
You do not have to see the end result.
You do not have to know how this story will unfold.
You simply need to get writing it.
As they say, a writer writes…..If you want the new to take form, then get writing it, one word, paragraph, and page at a time.
It gets easier as you let the “stuff” gently glide off your shoulders. You don’t need to carry it with you forward. If you hold onto the weight, your wings can’t open and take to flight.
I’d like to see you fly. I’d like to see us all fly.
And so the best way I can do that is to open my own wings.
Cosmo’s Message & Mission ~ A Journey of Greatest Compassion
Many of you have so lovingly been following along and sharing your support for our dear Cosmo over the past nearly 2 years that I wanted to take the time to share about his recent transition, but most importantly to be his voice with the message he has imparted. This is my gift to him to support the completion of his mission here on Earth and the last piece of his path he wanted as the tie-in to his departure. Although he will continue on with other missions in his eternal form, he has been a constant source of ever-giving love in a way most rare to experience from anyone, let alone a magickal rabbit.
I’ll begin by backing up a bit to share recent unfoldings that have led to this, before concluding with that message, as all pieces are relevant to grasping a deeper understanding of the message.
As you may remember, I’ve shared several times that our returning to Lake Tahoe was in large part also because of Cosmo. I knew that somewhere along the Magick Bus journey that both Joy and Cosmo would be transitioning and once Joy did, it was just a matter of time before her partner would join her.
Joy, you may remember, made her transition in the energy of the Summer Solstice portal just four months ago. I shared a long video of that story along with a photo story line of highlights in her life and additional insights at the link provided.
It was challenging on both Cosmo and I, but he trucked right along as he always does, in large part to be my rock and a source of comfort for me. I got that he was staying around in order to make sure I was okay before he, too, would make his departure. This also provided he and I the opportunity to just be together the two of us, as I had had that kind of time with all of my beloveds except with him.
And during the last four months our deep connection only further deepened, with our clear communication ramping up, his teachings making huge impact on fuller embodiment for me, and our love transcending everything.
When we received guidance that we were to return to Lake Tahoe, I immediately got the message that this is where Cosmo would transition. He had chosen the place where his teachers and friends – Joy, Nestor, and Gaia – had all lived and where each of them either transitioned themselves or arrived into my life. But all of them having thoroughly enjoyed and connected with Tahoe’s crystalline energy and working with its portal. He chose a place that was also very dear to both Dave and I and until now had been the one place we loved the most and considered our true home.
Over the past year, and increasingly recently, Cosmo had begun to physically decline. Whereas he’d had huge leaps, increased vitality, strength, and mobility from onset of his coming into our lives with all of the efforts and support I/we provided, this last year proved to demonstrate his physical body weakening and breaking down, despite his eternal vibrant spirit remaining untouched.
And this decline continued more rapidly when Joy made her transition.
His bones – the old structure of physical form – were breaking down, his arthritis increasingly being a source of pain, his legs stiffening and one nearly unable to bend anymore despite leg therapies and knee seeming to always pop out of place, his shoulders collapsing due to his using his arms to support and move himself around to compensate for not being able to move his lower body to support himself, and one shoulder recently also hugely dislocated.
And yet he never wavered in the love, peace, presence, patience, joy, and strength of spirit that his purity embodied. His stoic bravery and constant, consistent ability to look at and embrace all of his experiences with loving compassion was an example for us all.
I did not know the exact timing of when he would make his move to journey onward, although felt it was sooner than later, but that became clear not long after our arrival back to Lake Tahoe.
And it was evident also in Cosmo’s orchestration of things that rearranged our timing of meeting up with my dear Laura and David, which was originally planned for the Halloween weekend, but got moved to the Autumn Equinox, as she shared in her recent post: A Strange, Synchronous Samhain Sojourn documenting also how he was “at the center of our Autumnal celebrations all together, anchoring the “Cosmos” and just being the love bunny he is.”
This became one of the missions he was to complete for the collective and all four of us personally as well, and his way of being able to meet Laura in person who had been a large part of his life regardless of not meeting him physically, so that he could say his thanks and goodbyes.
It was also no coincidence that just as we returned to the Reno area, my parents and brother all came over to the Magick Bus to visit, bringing my brother to see it and Cosmo for the first time in person. This was especially telling that my brother, whom I felt meeting and physically connecting with Cosmo would be transformative for, was there so that Cosmo could do his healing work with him as well before leaving, which resulted in Eric holding him when he’s always had a fear of this from the “past”.
Cosmo was able to say his goodbyes, share his love and gratitude, and impart his magickal energy, as he was always consistent with daily.
Then we made our way to Lake Tahoe, where after many phone calls, found him a place and open-hearted acupuncture and holistic vet that welcomed him, despite past allergies to rabbits – allergies that didn’t show up when she and Cosmo connected.
And the story takes its turn here.
Surrounded in the energy of Lake Tahoe, having assisted in our finding the perfect new home for the next 6 months, seeing me deepen my connection to my own heart’s mission, and experiencing the peaceful knowing of all things he’d lined up in wanting to complete, his mission was coming to closure.
Although the support at his new acupuncturist and all the things I shifted to make the last of his golden time here most peaceful and comfortable as possible did just that, it was his own inner peace he’d fully arrived at in knowing he and I were both ready for this last leg of the journey that kicked things into a quick spiral of rapid shifts.
I’ll shift for a moment before continuing on, to share a few things that are speaking through as I write this.
I know that while many have understood, shared the same connection with their soul partners in animal bodies, and experienced the feeling of being a parent to their fur babies no different than that of a biological human child, I know there are also those people who can’t grasp this, may even think my care-taking behavior is overboard, thought that Cosmo was an excuse for not doing things they may have wanted us to partake in because of my wanting to care for his needs which constituted a schedule that was my norm, or felt I was wearing myself down for someone that was not equal to a human child and likely hoped/hope I wouldn’t continue in this vein for their own reasons.
I completely understand these latter feelings because I know that unless one experiences something personally they have no way of grasping what it really means. Everyone finds their own experience of sacred connection in the way that is most relative and meaningful for them in the place they are on their journey. And for that I hold no judgment and took nothing personally.
But I will say that it fuels my devotion and commitment in continuing forth strongly with my convictions and sacred honoring I feel compelled to embody, myself, as I know that is my personal role and path to be living, regardless of how it appears to others.
Although I have not “birthed” a human child, myself, I can tell you that everything I have heard and experienced from my own mother, and all the friends I have that ARE mothers, has been my experience with my animal companions/babies and is consistent with what I know from my experiences this life and beyond, not to mention that all women embody the Sacred Feminine and Divine Mother energy.
I won’t go into all of that here, but needless to say they have been my babies, partners, best friends, and equals – learning and teaching with and from each other. In other words, soul family, which is no different except for the fact that a soul chooses the form most supportive and demonstrative of the mission they have chosen.
This is one of the many messages Cosmo imparted, as he was more human-like than any of my children and embodied a connection with everyone he came in contact with on a level that was undeniable in his conscious presence and ability to interact both intelligently and compassionately.
Dave was just remarking this morning that of all of our animal companions, he was the most dynamic presence that held his own and communicated loudly, yet gently, even without ever uttering a sound, let alone a word. He said that he sat there in the middle of the Magick Bus and was always actively a part of everything and called your attention to him at aligned times to share his message, as well as indicated his being interactive in all things that took place.
He truly demonstrated the equality of life in all forms and called everyone’s attention to take notice and integrate that at the level capable of doing, relative to everyone’s journeys.
To add in the aspect of his special needs he lived with for over two years, not to mention his challenged past from onset of birthing into form here, he conveyed the strength of our spirit overcoming anything, as his rabbit body is one of the most fragile forms to come into. It’s hard enough to go through things he had all his life if he had been in a human body, but add in the fact that he chose such a delicate form that is hardly understood by many and challenged with mysteries galore that take great intuition to unravel, and you can begin to understand the magnitude of his example.
There is nothing that wavered his disposition and the peaceful centeredness and love he exuded. He never allowed anything to shift him out of that space, nor to affect his normal behaviors, like eating, eliminating, or having to go into a long state of quiet processing, as many rabbits will do when they have challenges and even we as humans will do as a result of our embrace or attachment that manifests as different reflections physically or emotionally for us.
He just kept on keeping on….loving and assimilating things every step of the way with total patient and peaceful embrace and flow no matter how enormous the pain was. And he never acted out, nor lashed out. He never bit anyone or pulled away to retreat or show signs of not wanting to face things. He simply licked your hand with loving compassion for you, the journey, and his place in that process.
And this continued on until the very end, as you’ll come to see.
We each have that available as well and can access it from the wells of our inner and innate beingness.
Some may question my choice in rabbits due to their fragile constitutions, hope I don’t have more in my life as they project their own concerns, or wonder if I will bring more into my life.
My only answer is that they choose me, as much as I choose them. And I have not set out to bring any of them into my life except for Nestor, although when they showed up I recognized the contract we had and therefore the mission I gladly embraced, which was always beyond myself in also supporting their missions and doing our part for the collective dynamics.
So I will do that again, only if and when similar presents itself and I know beyond a doubt that that is my role in alignment with heart’s mission.
But to continue forth with what began to show up quite rapidly after settling back to Tahoe and a new era about to begin with knowing the Magick Bus would be moving on, as we moved forward into a new form of home and life showing up for our paths, I’ll share what catapulted us quickly to where things are now.
I’d taken Cosmo to his acupuncture appointment, which was a gift to find, as shared. My intention with providing care as such and all that I did was not to prolong his life unnecessarily beyond his choice, but to ensure as little pain and as much peace as possible while he still was here and was navigating his departure.
But upon our second appointment, he was crystal clear and intentionally focused in relaying his new plan and timely needs.
Basically what took place is during his session, while he’d already been in a zen mode, he became more consciously active and began to nibble on his hay that I provide him while he has treatments. But one of the needles of hay was in fact a needle itself.
I’d been diligently watching him, caressing him as I do, and making sure he was comfortable when suddenly his chewing sounded different and I instantly knew he had a needle in his mouth. I didn’t know how it happened without my seeing, but that is the Great Mystery unfolding, as always.
The vet had moved away to do something, since all the needles had been placed and he was hooked up to the electrodes, receiving.
I immediately told her and tried to stop him from chewing, unsuccessfully, as it was far back in his mouth by his molars.
I knew instantly this was the turning point.
And without going into too much detail I went into a calm panic, having flashes of Nestor’s passing because she had choked to death on medication I’d administered. He began to try to swallow and then he began gagging and salivating. I asked if he’d be alright. I know my face was likely white and all I could do was hold the space of love and trust in what was unfolding, and hoping for the best possible outcome without trauma.
Rabbits can’t throw up, so this was painful to watch. It went on an excruciating while, as the vet tried to get into his throat and check all around the back of his mouth and cheeks to see where it was.
This was unsuccessful, twice.
He continued gagging and salivating and I just said to myself, “OMG, this is it.” I was prepared, as I knew it could come at any time. I just didn’t know how or when. I’d hoped not in a traumatic way, and had no idea something like this could happen, as he’d had acupuncture so many times and never tried to eat a needle.
And hence, the intention on his part was clear. He is not stupid. He does not do anything random and accidental. He is a fully, and in most cases, more conscious being than most.
This was an act of choice. Perhaps he didn’t know how challenging the physical of that choice would be at first, but he knew he had to do something at this level in order for the rest to unfold as needed and in order to get my attention in a big way of the importance this had.
Suddenly, after the intervals of gagging and trying to look in his throat, he was at peace again. The needle had gone down miraculously without issues besides the temporary gagging and discomfort.
How it got down without doing harm I do not know, except that it was meant to be.
I could see the look on the vet’s face. She, was almost overcome to tears. She was panicked and I knew she felt guilt like she should have done something to not allow that to happen. It was all over her face.
She suggested, after I asked what to do next, that I take him down the way to the vet hospital to get xrays and see where it is.
Before I left, I firmly, but gently took hold of her arm and looked her deeply in her eyes to her soul and said while imparting energetic waves of healing, “It’s not your fault. This isn’t your fault.”
I did not want her carrying that guilt and at least doing my part to release her from that and imparting that I held no anger towards her in anyway that someone might project on to others when lashing out of pain. I wanted her to know she was appreciated for all of her help and I thanked her for that before I left to get the xrays, which she called in for me and got Cosmo squeezed in immediately for.
The xrays were taken. Cosmo continued fine. They showed that in fact the needle was now in his stomach. She said she also saw tons of fiber from what he eats, all around it, so it was acting like a cushion or cotton bubble protecting it for now.
And the unknowns from there spiraled.
The xrays were sent to his acupuncturist and she shared the findings, suggesting I monitor him and take him in in another day or two if it didn’t pass, but her experience was, with other animals – mostly cats and dogs, that things DO in fact pass. She’d seen anything from weird toys, plastic, and even razor blades pass without issue.
So I took him home and I waited.
But what I had immediately received in message right after it took place was that Cosmo was telling me he no longer wanted to go to any outside sessions or vets in general. That he wanted to just be in the peace and care that I provided him at home and not spend time elsewhere. He wanted to spend quality time with his family to choose his path naturally.
It wasn’t until a day or two later that I got a larger grip on what his message included, which was in fact he was choosing his timing and this was the way to make that needle-sharp clear.
He continued to eat, eliminate, and act as his normal loving self that first full day, which was Wednesday, 10/26. The acupuncturist kept emailing to check up on him and to see if there was any progress.
I would check his poop all day and night to look for any potential needle.
Nothing.
But by the second day, well actually night, he began to show signs of challenge once a day. It began in the middle of the night when I would wake up to check on him and that was both on Thursday and Friday night.
His eyes would bug out, he would become extremely fidgety, agitated, extend his upper portion of body out and then cramp up, and wanted me not to leave him, because there was great pain, until it would pass. I knew that the needle was moving and causing pain likely when it poked his insides and was trying to find its way through.
I sat up with him in the middle of the night giving him Reiki and comforting him for about a half an hour each time until the pain and his symptoms subsided altogether.
Then he was back to normal, although I began to notice that his left shoulder that we’d seen at the first acupuncture session being likely dislocated, was getting worse to the point that it would lay flat underneath him much of the time. That’s not to mention the stiffness in his back that continued increasing and making it hard for him to bend or sit up. Hence the orthopedic bed I got him to support his back.
Everything was at a very volatile state.
Thursday I kept checking. No needle. So I made an appointment for Friday to xray again, like the vet told me to do so that we could monitor if it’s moving and where it is.
The xrays showed it still in his stomach.
And that’s when the vet said I should contact my regular vet for more advice, as she doesn’t handle that.
I began making intervals of calls, being referred one-by-one to doctor and practice after another. I found it interesting the vet I’d taken him to in Carson for a general check up was out until 11/7. And nobody around knew rabbits enough to take on this challenge.
After the fourth place I was then referred to a fifth, which was where the signs aligned things.
This fifth doctor was in fact the doctor that had treated Nestor with her issues, and where I’d taken her for cremation after her passing. This was no coincidence. Nestor was overseeing things and I felt in safe hands.
Side notes:
What I’ve always found challenging is that no doctor would ever get on the phone in all my times of making calls over the years with me, yet were quick to always be upfront that they had no rabbit experience or specialization, nor willing to take things on even in emergency situations, except for those aligned places I was led to.
It’s made me over time feel very upset/disappointed that rabbits seem to be pushed to the side when they in fact need some of the most specialized care. I remember when I was a little girl loving animals from the get-go, that one of the things I said right off was that I wanted to be a veterinarian.
That was not my path in this life, but be it another time and place I would definitely have taken that on knowing what I know now and had a specialty practice for rabbits alone. I hope others will follow the inspiration of their calling with this if their own soul path is nudging them that way. I’ve seen and gone through way too much neglect with their care and it saddens me, but also brings me such gratitude when I do find those doctors who have gone that extra mile as their focus and path.
That brings me back to Nestor’s doctor whom I was now being referred to by what was supposed to be a specialist place in Reno, but low and behold had no rabbit specialists.
After I spoke to the receptionist for just a brief couple of minutes, she told me to hold and the next thing I knew I was speaking with the doctor herself. She took the time to go over Cosmo’s situation, options, and scope of potentials.
I was grateful.
The rest of the story for the next few days was a process of me on pins and “needles” not knowing when or how that needle would make its move and Cosmo going through one episode a day except for Saturday that was quite challenging. This likely was happening because a rabbit’s GI tract moves every 17-20 hours and in Cosmo’s case, maybe a bit longer since he is not mobile.
So each time it did, that needle was journeying.
And that created pain and the potential of trauma at any moment, as she shared and I knew that if that needle started making its way out of the stomach and into his intestines, there was the huge risk of it not getting through safely, especially with all the tiny turns and processes to go through. It could perforate any part of his system and if so, he’d be in excruciating pain to the point of perhaps screaming and trauma like I’ve seen in Nestor, and it could happen at any time where I would have no ability to get him help and basically I’d watch him pass a terrible death, or get him in and still have to be put to sleep because the damage would be too great for his little aged body to recover from.
There were complications around the whole scenario and along with his age at 10 1/2 years old (like 100 in rabbit years), his spine and skeletal structure all wearing down and collapsing, along with muscles weakening and tightening, we had things stacked against us in terms of any operation or endoscopy even by a specialist being successful since his body was so weak to make it through, let alone recover from it especially if stomach surgery, which Joy had too and didn’t make it back from after. In general, operations on rabbits are sketchy because they have such delicate compositions, but far better odds are there when they are young and robust with a lot to live for still. And each time you put a rabbit under anesthesia there’s a chance (50/50 or much less in a case like Cosmo’s) they may not wake, unless they are strong and healthy.
We started doing research, making calls, and emailing vets we knew. The answers were all the same from everyone and all scenarios of options provided no guarantee in any way of anything.
It was all maybe, perhaps, hopefully, if, etc.
Nothing was in alignment with peaceful, safe passage for him and all things were putting him at greater risk while also potentially having to drive him hours away to a specialist, having him in a cold room with people he didn’t know and I didn’t have any connection to, and with the fear of going under to have a surgery he himself told me he feared, and still not make it, while not being with us who he desired to have by his side all the way.
These were not viable options.
He and I had come too far together to allow such things when we had control of how things could go.
I became aware of how the timing of all of this was also not random, a couple of days after the incident of needle swallowing, realizing that Halloween, or rather, Samhain was just around the corner. And it all clicked.
And when verified with him, as he and I have very clear communication, and through my animal communicator friend who knew not what I had received myself in message before relaying her communications, it all confirmed with loud reiteration the same things.
Cosmo had completed his missions and was expressing his desire to leave. He knew the odds when he swallowed that needle and had hoped that I would understand what he was asking, although understood it was a lot to ask.
I’d received the message of his desire, as I mentioned, a couple of days after the episode and it just increasingly got louder as the days went on, becoming its clearest after I spoke to Nestor’s doctor. And Monday’s Samhain was to be that day, which he desired to make his transition, as it was after all the day and night of the thinnest veils between worlds. A time of magick and would be his magickal exit back to the Cosmos from which he came, as magick rabbits enter and exit as such.
I was going to have to assist Cosmo and I was going to have to put everything aside to honor him and his mission.
This was reiterated to me also in discussions with Laura at synchronous times during her Strange, Synchronous Samhain Sojourn, which she alluded to, as we were in contact with all the unusual bleed-throughs we were experiencing each in our own way over the course of this time we were once scheduled to be together.
He wanted it clear what he wanted and this was his way for that intention to be sharp. No pun intended.
Interestingly, here’s what his acupuncturist emailed me in one of our communications after the experience:
“One of my favorite holistic vets (who is also a Reiki Master) said Dr. Xie would say the needle knows what it is doing. The intention was good. Dr. Xie is an expert at TCVM and head of the Chi Institute, where I trained. So I just thought I’d pass that along. He also says to take a deep breath when animals eat needles. Things will workout.”
My response to her was:
“I agree fully that there is always perfect, divine grace with everything and intention and knowing is built into the process, especially with something like this/the needle with focused clarity it has. Also, Cosmo is a highly conscious soul. This act of his ingestion is not arbitrary or accidental and aligns with the intention and meaning of the process in his journey.”
Again, I was wanting to impart to her no need for guilt on her part, as all things were unfolding in alignment with his will.
I knew this for myself as well, although I would need the last couple of days to fully align all parts of myself with absolute clarity in order to proceed.
While I understood Cosmo’s message clearly and after reviewing all possibilities knew my answer, I would still have to reconcile my human ego parts, as well as needed to have absolute confirmation from him of the next step.
So, we had the weekend for that, and the timing again was perfectly lined up to do so. In the meantime, I was doing all the Reiki and healing work I knew possible, along with asking for assistance, in order to keep that needle from piercing him or causing any trauma before the time he had desired.
I asked for peace.
And Saturday that’s what we got, as he had no episode that one whole day, which I was so grateful for, given he’d had one each of the day’s preceding that were very scary, not knowing if that trauma the doctor had shared may happen if it tried to pass, was in fact taking place.
This was both wonderful, but also played with my ego mind, and especially Dave’s because it was easy to think he was fine, something miraculous was at hand, and perhaps he could live with this needle and it would never move through his system and keep cushioned for the rest of his life with fiber protecting it all around.
This was wishful thinking even though I’m all for believing in and creating miracles, but there was no guarantee that at any moment this could go grossly wrong or that his body would continue disintegrating to the point of collapsing completely with hideous pain and leaving him a vegetable, feeling trapped in a completely decayed body. I couldn’t play with and gamble away his peace and desires on something based on my own or anyone else’s ego to prolong his life.
His soul was too big and expansive to be contained anymore in this fragile form that had seen its time.
So yes, while we had a lovely day of peaceful connecting without challenges arising, it was in part for he and I to share beautiful quality time together and in part, in answer to exactly what I’d asked for and had worked so hard energetically to create.
We were succeeding in getting him through each day to make it to the timing he had chosen for departure.
So I asked for absolute clarity that he was still wanting his original desire to move on with my assistance, and that this was in fact the most responsibly compassionate path. I wanted no shadow of doubt.
Saturday had oscillated with inner confusion that had felt clear previously, but I realized it was simply my human part briefly attaching to desire to keep him here and try to convince myself that I/we could work miracles, even though I’d be putting him at further risk while exercising that “possibility”.
The needle was his intention and his way to say, “I’m declaring closure to my mission here.”
This needle was an unknown that could at any moment have a mind of its own. For now, it was being kept at bay long enough for us to all arrive at full clarity.
We’d started having Cosmo sleep with us in the bed, as I couldn’t leave him out of sight or alone, even though I wake 4 or 5 times to check on him all the time. So we brought his large orthopedic bed in the middle of our queen sized bed, leaving just room for our bodies on either side of him without movement.
In this way I could constantly check on him and he was cozy and safely with us – never alone.
Then Sunday rolled around and I spent all of it with him doing nothing else but connecting.
It was raining hard the entire day, which felt supportive for our delving into watery emotions to reveal the depths of truth, and cleansing to all that wasn’t authentic to step aside for clarity to come. It was also the perfect cozy day for he and I to share, as Dave was out that day.
However, I received the answer I needed and the confirming clarity, as peace was disrupted just long enough for me to get that reiteration desired.
And Cosmo put himself in a place of pain and danger, in order to help me know without doubt the reality of his situation and the depth of his desire.
Alone he and I got him through another bad episode. Peace was replaced after about 40 minutes with him going through a very rough time of pain and discomfort, which was frightening not knowing if something really horrible was about to happen.
Without explaining all of how he was reacting, I went into full on power mode and called in all of my power, favors, and help I could muster up energetically while I comforted and caressed him, and did Reiki and other energy things to assist.
At this point, although one might ask why I wouldn’t use this energy to pass the needle safely, I knew that was not an option. It was too volatile, too chancy, and I knew his desire was to go. So in fact it would have been playing a risk game that it would result as such, when the needle had deliberately been put there for another reason. It had a power to do its duty and would, one way or another. I could not counteract his intention with it. But I could place a hold on it with a promise to carry through with his wishes in return for his safety and peace.
So, I used my powers to stop the pain, and to create a permanent hold on the needle to be swaddled in cushioning protection and not move from the center of his stomach until I could get him to the doctor the next day, as he wished.
And “coincidentally” this doctor was not in on Saturday – the only weekend day they are open- and Sundays they are closed. While I could have tried to find some ER place, that was much too cold and had no connective factor for him. I wanted him to be in the best hands, which this doctor is – she is likely my favorite in terms of her gentle compassionate ways that warm your heart to be around her. That is the type of assistance this little angel deserved.
Not some random person without any connection.
And afterall, Nestor had guided us to her.
I’m happy to say that everything I did succeeded and he got through the horribly scary episode and back to peace. And never had another episode.
And I received the clarity I needed, as that episode relayed the message that my human ego had to see, which was that the temporary peace was just that – temporary. It was there to hold things for his safe passage as desired. But it would not be a permanent hold and if I surpassed his timing chosen, and all things aligning to support this, and didn’t support his wishes, the inevitable trauma would indeed take place and we’d no longer have the safe window to choose peace anymore.
It’s like I’ve been describing with everything recently. You have to ride the energy with patience and know when to make the move and catch the airstream that can catapult you.
Once again, I’d received what I asked for in order to fully get all parts of me on board without doubt.
After his pain passed Cosmo and I had very intimate quality time communicating, processing, and enjoying biomat time together the rest of the day.
This felt so supportive for him, as he came to love his biomat time in the short period we had it.
He would go into a zen mode, then he’d stretch out and slowly relax into a meditative dream state of journeying, more peaceful than I’ve ever seen him except when he would fall asleep against my heart and chest.
He’d stay on the mat a long time. This day was an hour and a half of internal processing.
I loved seeing him on it, as he was so utterly at peace…the way I envisioned his departure.
Of course I wished that he would just drift away during this time he was in deep trance state. And there were times, especially in these last few days, when I thought that he was doing just that, as he got himself to such a relaxed state that his heart rate was nearly undetectable along with his breathing almost non-existent.
But this was not the way it would be, as Cosmo knew that the way to finalize his last mission before he left, which he wanted me to assist with, was not to just pass away silently.
Yes, he would go, but it would be in the strong, gentle way he always has communicated, which has poignant purpose and penetrating message.
And I would need to be party to his mission, as he couldn’t do it alone and it in fact involved me and how the two of us, he said, could help so many others that go through this same experience and heart-wrenching dilemma.
Not to mention, it was part of my own growth and evolution.
I knew that during this day especially, knowing he had only one more day until his desired passing, that he was making sure to review all options just as I had to get all my pieces on board, as when I asked him if he wanted to pull Tarot cards for messages, he refused it each time.
He was still integrating and also wanted me to do so without the cards. He told me the answers were within me and to trust that day and I’d already received his clear message.
There was nothing different in the way we communicated and interacted from that of two humans. And that itself likely may stem from the fact that I have the personal belief and connection that all life is equal and of value and therefore the communication channels are open and clear if embraced and actively engaged. I have always communicated with animals and felt their heartbeat as my own, and in most cases, have experienced how they are more strongly connected to the Heart of All Life, to Mother Earth, and being closer to the Cosmos in their essence that lingers in between worlds than most humans.
Cosmo and I had instantaneous communication that took place like normal conversations spoken or unspoken. He understood everything I said or thought in that moment. And I understood him. This was a bit different from the way Joy and Nestor and Gaia communicated with me, as although I did understand them in wake time, it was not the seamless way Cosmo and I communicated. And they in fact would send me their messages and telepathic stories via dream time. The telepathy was strong in any case with all of them, but manifested differently when it came to the way in which they liked to send their messages.
Anyway, the rest of the day and night went without event, although I’d noticed that the last two nights while he was sleeping in between us, that he was not eating through the night and just resting and processing. Normally, rabbits, and him especially, are always eating round the clock. So his quiet mode at night seemed indicative of his preparations and perhaps avoiding something to happen during the night if his system was moving with new food.
And this brings us to Monday, Samhain – the Celtic New Year and the day and night of the thinnest veils between worlds and during the energy of the New Moon in Scorpio’s Great Mystery, magick, and transformation, which it had just shifted into the day before.
Samhain is a cross quarter day between Autumn Equinox and Winter Solstice and is a night when Faeries are afoot working magick and mischief, as well as the Day of the Dead where our ancestors and loved ones are honored and remembered just like it was for the Celts, Egyptians and ancient Mexicans like the Toltecs, Aztecs, and Mayans. It is also when spirits and souls are thought to have more power to visit us. It’s a time marking the “absence the Sun who will be reborn at Winter Solstice as the Child of Promise” and marks the rising of the Pleiades.
Yes, it is no wonder Cosmo had chosen this day. Just as Joy had chosen Summer Solstice four months before him. All of my sweet ones have both entered and exited at profound and potent times.
So here we were, standing at the precipice of this transformational day and while I was fully on board with being Cosmo’s support system, not without emotional challenge mind you, I was having to be strong also for Dave who was having more difficulty.
We walked through everything for a couple of hours reviewing all of the angles, potentials, what vets had relayed, and what Cosmo had demonstrated. I walked Dave through all the realities in a left brained way first to indicate that there was no solution there that guaranteed peace for Cosmo, and likely would create further complications than he already had, if not extreme trauma past what he already has.
And then I walked him through Cosmo’s wish and what he was saying was his desire. But although Cosmo can ask, he can not force us to do what he asks. He can only relay his wish and it is up to us and our free will to choose to support or deny it.
All of which has ramifications on both ends. Yet, the most responsibly compassionate act and choice was the focal point of this discussion.
When Dave heard all of the angles, again, as we’d been discussing it over the last five days, now coming from my very stable and grounded place of knowing, it was different for him.
I explained to him that he and everyone knows I have and would do ANYTHING for my beloved animal companions. I would give my life for them. And so to arrive at this decision, is not an easy one for me, but is obvious that I have come to a place of knowing with heart and soul, that this is absolutely the only choice available that is of highest peace and compassion.
It is a choice of unconditional, expansive, and limitless love.
It is not a choice of conditional, attached, ego-based love.
The latter would devise ways to make one feel their choice to take an extreme chance of waiting things out, surgeries, etc. was the right path, only to appease one’s desire to hold on, to feel like you’ve done it all so as hopefully not to have guilt (which inevitably would crop up anyway), and to avoid listening to the message very clearly being spoken by our loved ones, thus denying they have an equal voice, mission, and their own knowing and choices that unfortunately they can’t exercise always, and perhaps avoiding the evolution they have come to assist us with through this process.
Ah, yes, it is very complex. And when dealing with the human emotions and these types of choices, it will be confusing and controversial.
I’ll return to this again, but I decided to pull a card from my very accurate, always on point Faery Oracle deck.
Stepping back for a moment, during the weekend I had pulled a card that represented Cosmo. It was the King of Cups, which he is. I always call him my little “king” and he definitely is that sacred male energy so in touch with the element of watery emotions. Anyway, on that card, there was one line that stood out for me the most, as there is always one gem in things we can take away that speaks to us. It was this:
“You are involved in a situation in which caring and empathic assistance are of utmost importance.”
That speaks for itself.
Synchronously I’ve been focused on empathic intelligence of the heart as my work recently and the balance between heart and mind, and heart and mission.
But back to the Faery Oracle card.
Out of 47 cards, to pull this one is no accident or coincidence and it went along also with what I’d been sharing to Dave, which I’ll explain further, but here is that card and a photo of its message from the book:

I, of course, shared and read the meaning of this card with Dave and this was an ultimate turning point for him when he saw the synchronicity that was inexplicable for this message and when I explained things further from the depths of myself.
Basically this card shares that we do not have ownership over anything….people, animals, plants, the land, etc. We have no dominion over Nature. We are guardians and with that comes the responsibility to honor the sacred relationship we have with all of life and the intelligence inherent within it all, as well, that is beyond our human capacity to understand unless we go within our hearts for truth.
As the card indicates, we need to be worthy of this role, which involves listening to what our companions within the mutual relationship are sharing with us, as what they have to share is just as valuable and valid as what we feel and have to say.
The card indicates that there are shifts taking place and by listening we will know when to take the divine action needed.
If one does not listen then the card would have a reverse meaning of dismissing the messages reaching you from Nature, your animal companions, plants, and the wild that are reaching out to communicate and share their lives with you. Their perceptions are different from ours, but oftentimes more powerful. It would indicate having a sense of ownership rather than mutual relationship or alliance with them. It may indicate blocking out what you’re hearing and projecting your own desires rather than listening to what is being shared that holds truth beyond illusions.
In essence this card says to honor all of life and to move beyond ego into a sacred relationship of compassionate guardianship that listens and acts in accordance with what is heard.
I said to Dave, after reading the card and seeing him release into a greater peace himself, “I cannot refuse his wishes. For me to ignore what I know in my heart and soul he is telling me and asking of me would be a complete desecration of all that is sacred. It would be a backwards step and would basically deny not only his worth as equal to my own, but deny his conscious intelligence, and be like turning my back on everything I believe in and know in my heart as truth. It would be like turning my back on our Earth Mother herself and abusing all that I’ve ever honored throughout my soul existences here. I cannot refuse his request, despite what anyone thinks of me, as the relationship I have with him is the sacred ground on which I walk upon and my only mission is to honor that above all else. My personal loss is not an option to consider. My love – true love – is all there is. And true expansive love IS the mission and heart combined. If I truly love him from a place of nonattachment, then I must assist him.”
And from there on, Dave came to the same place of understanding, as all of his pieces came together too.
Cosmo’s message is that doing the greatest act of compassion is the choice of highest good and that will challenge the human parts of us to move into a new place of integrated embodiment that honors the empathic intelligence of the heart.
However, this is the new relationship that is of dire importance at this time on Earth and although it is challenging to our human hearts, it will access the cosmic hearts within us that can be of assistance in awakening latent parts of our DNA into fuller and truer empowerment.
He wants to impart a deeper sacred relationship to us all that is one of guardianship rather than ownership, and to move into that space of listening to, honoring, trusting, and supporting the messages and connection you have with your animal companions, and with Mother Earth at large, in how to be stewards for change and love where we work in harmony with the natural rhythms and live more consciously.
As left to Nature, Cosmo would not still be here in general.
This involves moving away from a denial of our true potentials and origins. It involves moving away from dishonoring Nature and instead works towards a partnership that can be of most support to beneficial evolution rather than total destruction and unconscious blindness resulting in a complete loss of sacred harmony.
He knows that what he asked of me, of us, is one of the hardest things to do. And it is not something that would be within the scope of all scenarios, as it would have to be taken up on a relative basis. Yet, the underlying message of compassionate guardianship still remains.
He simply imparts a desire for each of us to truly listen to the individual needs and desires of our animal companions beyond the limitations of our own ego needs, as they have an intelligent consciousness and wisdom to impart and this involves all aspects of our relationships with them, not just in times of life and death choices, but when they have things to share every day with us in effort to not only assist us, but to make their own messages heard in things we can honor them with daily and that can help situations you may view as problems without answers.
They have the answers. We must listen.
Cosmo has always been on a mission of service from the get-go.
His life has been one of a service rabbit, as I’ve chronicled in this post back in August and has drawn our attention to more compassionate relationships to animals and Nature to shift us into a role of mutual partnership.
This he’s done as a literal ambassador of peace in campaigns to end testing on animals, but has also embodied an intelligence, and highly evolved compassionate way of relating and communicating with humans as a bridge between animals and people simply by his loving and rare “nature” that everyone has remarked on never having experienced from a rabbit, let alone a special needs rabbit.
Here is that post:
Small Acts of Compassion Have Far-Reaching Effects
Although he will continue with missions from beyond Earth, this is his last message and mission to impart to all of us on Earth, as a soul in rabbit form.
I know this is a controversial issue that many, including animal rights people are challenged with. And yet, here’s my view on this.
Some of us fight for animal rights, to bring to attention for others that they are sentient beings and equal to humans. And yet, when it comes down to truly listening to them as sentient, intelligently conscious beings, we don’t always listen and we impart our own ego needs and desires.
While animals have yet to acquire that title of equal rights in the eyes of many, regardless of it being true in the eyes of all that is sacred, they do have this one right that surpasses us. One that also takes huge responsibility in listening to, rather than abusing, as many do.
Which is why this is more complex than it is simple on many levels. But truly is challenging us to begin to move into our own expanded versions of conscious sentient beings who take into account all of our gifts and all that is available to us to live with compassionate awareness and truly create an Earth home that is one of harmony and not some perverse idea of ownership and abuse at our every whim.
As Nature will ultimately have the last word. We will not. Since Nature is in harmony. We are not.
So here is the right I speak of.
They have the ability to choose their transition with harmonious assistance that supports compassionate choices in honor of their needs.
Something we as humans do not have, as euthanasia is not a legal option for the people who deeply desire to be let go of, and yet we keep them alive, sometimes as vegetables, because WE can’t let go.
There are many elderly people, just like my elder rabbit, Cosmo, who would desire compassionate assistance, and yet cannot have it.
So, while animals have no equal rights yet, they have this right that outweighs our own.
Unfortunately many abuse it and use it to either appease ego needs at their own whims, or abuse not using it when the messages are obvious.
We have no idea the suffering we place upon our animal companions because they are such unconditionally loving and devoted partners in our lives and will accept any fate we decide because of that capacity they have.
And yet, they have pleas of help that go unheard, just as the collective animals have pleas of help we do not listen to.
And it is not only a personal plea, but they act from a collective consciousness with the greatest good in mind.
All of this, like with anything else, asks of us to be super-conscious. That’s really not an odd thing to ask is it, in this day of age?
How long will we continue operating on blind cruise control and deny every bit of intelligence we innately have and that is innately all around us, in order to have immediate satisfaction that has long term destruction written all over it?
The sacred will not await us to realize its sacredness.
I’ve gone through my own personal evolution with this, in dealing with my own challenges with my four rabbit companions….I say four, as I’ve mentioned Twinkie, the only other male rabbit and animal companion I had in my life for only one Summer.
Here’s that evolution.
I was a young girl of 12 when Twinkie was in my life and we discovered his having been born with abnormal teeth that grew the opposite way – the upper grew inside the lower rather than over and outside of them. This created major issues and needed weekly trimming. At my age, I was not able to decide for him and had no understanding like I do now of how to care for this or what options were viable. Hence, he was put to sleep by the opinions of the vet and my parents.
This was devastating for me, as he was my first furry companion. It felt to be a more unconscious act, although understandable at the time. I also was destroyed by my emotional attachment and didn’t understand as a little girl.
Then there was Nestor. She died a horrendous death. In her process of wanting to transition I would not let go. I did everything energy-wise and through vet appointments and surgery to keep her with me. I was not able to let my twin soul go. I stayed up with her all night, for nights, administering all my energy and power and love to ensure keeping her alive and not leaving. In the end she went traumatically, and I was able to grow through that experience she devised for me through that process.
Then there was Joy. She came upon sudden challenges that all came crashing down quickly. She wanted me to not have guilt that I had with Nestor, since I’d been the one that gave her medications that she choked upon to death. Joy gave of herself to go through surgeries to help me know I did it all possible and yet in the end it was still her time. Yet her sacrifice was to assist no guilt on my part and also had me not see her pass so she could give me peace, since she transitioned after I dropped her off for overnight care at the ER. And yet, in the end she had been diminished to nothing. And to see her little body so weakened and tiny, deeply saddened my heart.
Each experience with all of them taking me to greater depths of growth and understanding, with a full circle of experiences.
I became known as someone who would, as I said, do anything to support my loved ones as the equal beings they are to have every chance in the world to do what they desired.
And they assisted that process in the way that would most support my evolution as well and learning.
In comes Cosmo.
Having gone through all I had, my greatest desire for my little ones became the focal point of peace. Not of prolonging life, but painless transitions and honoring of their desires. Learning to let go and focus on their greater good.
Cosmo then took me one step further with this and challenged me with the greatest thing he knew I feared. Something I’d mentioned many times I did not want to be faced with. Which I know most everyone doesn’t want to face. I did not want to have to make the decision to assist his passing.
And yet, his one wish was just that.
Wise he is, knowing how this not only was his personal mission to others, but encompassed a mission that would involve me and my own, along with a greater evolution I’d yet reached.
Everything I’d been through prepared me for this moment. And within those five days I had to come to full embodied understanding, he and I succeeded together in aligning everything within each of us for this ultimate activation of empathic intelligence from the heart.
I know this is a long, long share, so if you’ve made it this far, I thank you and ask to please bear with me some more, as this to me is part of the honor Cosmo deserves and I’m committed to providing since he’s designated me as his voice.
I only hope to do his message the honor it and he deserves.
So this brings us to Monday, as shared, and all things coming together in having the peace necessary to proceed by both myself and Dave.
And it was a sunny, baby blue sky day. So perfect, as I’d mentioned the whole day before it rained profusely, then this clearing for him, and the night and morning after his passing it rained more and even snowed a bit.
There was an opening and the time was right.
I planned to make it a special day, which I’d been doing all weekend, but there were more promises I had to keep for him.
So I gave him all his usual food and lots of treats – his favorites. Then I gave him a bath and dried and groomed him to make him all clean and lovely, plus sharing one of our favorite times together as we had enjoyed every day for the last nearly two years of this.
And after, I set him up on the biomat to give him some peaceful healing energy to prepare him, while Dave and I enjoyed a picnic lunch on the bed next to him, so that he was not alone and so that we had sustenance to carry us through the day.
I had come to see that as much as he was still alive, he was very thinly connected to his body at this time, since he was already preparing for his journey.
Dave then prepared a bag of chopped up strawberries and apples – his favorite – and we loaded him in his orthopedic bed on my lap in the car to make our way to the vet who was about an hour and 15 minutes drive away.
This was perfect, as my last promise to him was that I would take him to the lake itself so that he could see it, smell, and feel the energy of its power and the beauty Nestor and Joy, as well as Gaia, had all had the pleasure to experience too. Although, he was the only one who stepped foot on Lake Tahoe’s beach herself.
As soon as we got in the car and on the main road to our lake destination, our first sign came in.
From the distance I saw a large bird flying toward us. And as it came closer I realized instantly in my heart it was a hawk. Not sure what kind, but it was very large and as it got close it then hovered with its wings steadying it and then came to land on the very top of a pine tree in full sight to see its beautiful detail.
Not only are hawks my spirit guides and I’ve recently posted about them, again, but this also connected with when I first brought Cosmo home, as you can see in this excerpt I’ve shared before, which includes that “mission” has been the guiding force for our connection from the get-go:
“I will say that, like with all things in my life, there is no randomness about it. I sensed this was something big for me…a mission in fact. And that was reiterated the day I picked Cosmo up. On my way out a hawk (one of my major animal totems at this time in my life) was sitting on the light post giving me the support, and on the way home, another. But while driving, a dear friend called that knew I was on my way to get him and she was sending me love and support. I said out loud to her, there was just something about this that I knew was so much bigger and I used the word “mission” to describe it. And immediately after we got off the phone, a song came on and the words said, “it’s more than just a mission….” and at that exact simultaneous moment, I was just crossing over “Mission St.” I got chills and knew in my heart everything was in divine grace.”
We then got to the beach we had chosen and had our special time with Cosmo, where we snapped some beautiful memories too.
My favorite photos were the ones that showcased Cosmo himself, in all of his glory.
His peaceful presence.
His dynamic charisma, joy, and strength.
His fragility, but power, with eyes that pierced your soul with love and inspiration.
And his exuberance, as he prepared to take literal flight.
And all along the drive and there on the beach, we gave him his snacks of strawberries and apples in as much abundance as he desired, since it was one of his greatest joys.
Right before arriving at the vet, we played his special song twice to him, one that has been dear to him and I and is perfect for his essence and the message to him, as you can see at the link. And here’s the song itself:
Then we went in and met with the vet, who was just as compassionately gentle as I’d remembered her. Dave came to see this immediately too and we both knew Cosmo was in the right hands without a doubt, and this little rabbit in the corner of the room behind him was a sign and message of support from Nestor and Joy, since they were both lop-eared rabbits:
Without going into too much detail, it was a very beautiful process with much support.
Cosmo was very calm and we took our time, completely unrushed and encouraged by the doctor, to communicate and share moments with him, all the last things we wanted to say.
I had previously over the last days told him everything in my heart I needed and wanted to, so this was simply a last reiteration and us releasing him to be free, but to know we honored and loved him, were grateful, and that we’d be with him every step of the way, as he bravely took his journey.
We had some lovely moment like this one between Dave and Cosmo, where Cosmo demonstrates his constant love in ways not usual for a rabbit:
He did not display the same on video with me, as our time was far too intimate to be shared in this way. We giggled over that, as I got the message from him saying, “I don’t want that out there, as that’s our private stuff. 😉 ”
He was taken back only for a few minutes to prepare his catheter to receive the injections. Then returned to us for more connecting.
What truly moved me most was when the doctor began the first injection that puts them into a peaceful slumber before the last injection.
Cosmo reached his head out to her hand and licked her profusely while doing so. She mentioned he also did so when she prepared the catheter.
His way of saying thank you, and demonstrating the huge heart of compassion he had in gratitude and also wanting everyone to know there was peace here and he wanted no guilt on anyone’s part.
He moved me to tears with this act, as right until the end he was an ever-giving flow of love, just as his enlarged physical heart was indicative of.
And then within moments he was gone, while I held his paw in my hand as he passed.
What also made an impression on me was how beautiful and angelic he looked, as he always had. This was such a gift to see, as it not only reiterated the complete peace that had been honored, but was such a contrast in what I’d seen with Nestor and Joy, both leaving this world under conditions that left their physical bodies completely depleted and although at peace in soul, their bodies were quite traumatized.
This experience with Cosmo was pure grace.
As we left the vet to visit my parents and connect with them over the news, since they lived only minutes away, another sign came in.
Again, it was hawks.
I had just been telling Dave not long before that he had taken to flight and was flying with his friends now. And as I said it inside of my head, I looked up and saw four hawks circling around together.
I turned to Dave with excitement and said, it’s Cosmo with Joy, Nestor, and Gaia!
Talk about powerful indeed.
After visiting with my parents, we made our way back up to the lake.
I’d taken with us the stuffed, enchanted rabbit that was both Joy’s and Cosmo’s surrogate bunny friend and was infused with both of their energy now, along with his special rainbow heart blanket gifted by a special friend for him, which reflected the Rainbow Bridge he would be journeying across.
I’d had it with us to comfort him and was at his side when he passed too, for him to know that Joy, his beloved, was both in spirit and physical by his side.
But now, this surrogate rabbit would become my own and has not left my side since, while I’m at home. It is infused with their energies and comforts me, as well as provides that bit of magick that they both had enjoyed from it as well.
We decided to make a stop at the lake ourselves just to watch the sunset. The day ended beautifully and we caught these photos of his perfect day coming to closure including me with my magickal rabbit that embodies both Cosmo’s and Joy’s energies.
It was hard to return home as his energy is so strongly still here. Not only because he was a part of every minute of my day with things I did to care for him and connect, but also because his energy is so strong and perhaps because the veils are so thin.
I find myself constantly looking for him or feeling him where he used to be, and know that he IS with me and within me. It was a challenging first night, as I woke up not having him to look after, and laid in bed over an hour thinking of him. And then woke in tears, as my mourning process moves through me naturally.
It is no coincidence that he left at this time also, right before we are about to move into our new home and say goodbye to the Magick Bus. There are so many memories here, that it will be good to physically separate from it and create a new space. He also knew that there would be a lot of work over the next weeks involved with this move and things would be easier for him to assist from outside his body, rather than in it.
He’s always thinking of our highest good.
And in our high elevation new home at nearly 7500 feet, we will be in our “castle in the sky” closer in connection to his off-planet eternal existence.
Yesterday was a little bit better than the day before, as every day will be and always is, although peace does fill my experience despite the normal human heart flow of emotions that will process over time.
After a day of processing and beginning this post, which I’ve concluded today, we went out for a hike to just allow nature to do its healing and reflections.
And there I experienced the message of all being in alignment in quite literal and incredible ways.
We were led to access a different part of a trail we’d not been on before.
At the start I found this pure white quartz stone…small, but lovely and with sparkles. It felt like Cosmo’s essence.
And not long after we got on the trail I’d asked Cosmo for a sign through a feather. Immediately I looked down and on the path there was a tiny, soft, down feather right in front of me.
It embodied his angelic sweetness and was like from an angel’s wings. The message there was that small is potent and not all messages and things need to be blaring and dramatic with flashing colors and big physical presence.
The power of presence is in the essence.
Cosmo was both fragile and strong. Vulnerable, yet powerful.
And what I noticed very dramatically right away after his passing is that I seemed to integrate this essence of his into my own.
I’ve experienced a new softness I cannot explain other than that it’s deepened me into a layer of myself that feels like the womb of divine love and grace. I speak differently and I have this peace about everything far greater than I’ve known as yet. And I see it physically in my face manifested as well with a new softness exuding outward from within.
But the biggest sign was literally signs, or rather plaques, that we came upon near the end of our hike, off-path a bit on a hidden tree.
Here is what we found:
These two name plaques hanging on a tree commemorating loss of animal companions, but not random that the two names are basically mine and Cosmo’s with only one letter in each being different.
The letter “i” in mine instead of “y” and the letter “m” missing in Cosmo’s.
Let’s see, “i” and “m”….”I’m” or when said together sounds like “I am.”
Both states of “beingness” which is harmony and peace manifest and how he and I, how we all are, unified as One in this synergy of connection and natural cycles.
To say wow, is an understatement.
There was a beautiful essence of golden ancient presence that lingered in the sun’s portal energy, closing out the day and messages of all being in divine order and grace.
Dave asked me after Cosmo journeyed forward, what I was going to do with all the time I had now that the together time with him would no longer be there in my days.
I said in reply that I will complete my book…my mission…our shared mission…while continuing to listen to his and my other companions’ guiding messages and inspiration to infuse in everything I do for the rest of my days here on Earth.
Everything I do and share as an embodiment of all that I’ve learned and hold sacred and dear is in honor to Cosmo and my beloveds who are with me as much now as they ever have been and in honor of sacred Terra and my guardianship of that sacred relationship that is a gift and not an entitlement.
This post is in reverence to Cosmo and the important message he wanted me to impart.
He is an incredible soul who has made his way back to the Cosmos from which he came through a perfectly navigated journey by an astounding being and my personal hero.
Some of you have met Cosmo in person and so many others have shared how he’s touched your life even without the in-person connection.
All of you know how incredibly dear he is to me.
Our lights not only mirror one another, but have merged as One.
It’s been a huge year of immense transformations on so many levels and supporting two of my dear ones into the eternal within 4 months of each other, alongside all of it, has been tremendous and evolutionary.
I know many of you have seen your beloveds journey as well recently, or perhaps will soon, and I know they are all supporting us collectively in these intense yet rich shifts on Earth.
May Cosmo’s purity speak the innocence of his wisdom to your heart, as he has for mine.
And, may you be as One with Nature’s Rhythms, embrace the Great Mystery, and embody Sacred Union with Spirit a little more each day of the rest of your life here on Mother Earth.
Note: Synchronously, as I completed writing Cosmo’s story and message, I received a call from the vet that his ashes were ready for me to pick up. Again, no coincidence in divine timing and full circle, peaceful closure. I will be donating his food and supplies I’ve been storing on the Magick Bus to El Dorado Animal Services Department, which is a shelter and adoption center here locally in South Lake Tahoe.
Frog & Moon Magick

The amphibious and metamorphic essence of frog is one that feels very close to me of recent. And it’s no wonder I’ve seen so many frogs along our travels, like this one, since Nature reflects to us our mirror. Frogs are strongly connected to the water element and since fluidity has become the journey more than ever, I’m seeing how their essence in so many ways does in fact partner in the flow. They are truly magickal creatures that speak of renewal, purity, cleansing, healing, transitions, abundance, creative fertility, and opportunities abound.
Indeed their ancient wisdom helps foster new perspectives and assists us to leap or swim swiftly from one level of consciousness to another – from this world to the Otherworlds. Frogs help us to experience the Great Mystery with ease and swim in Moon Magick and all of her gifts of the Sacred Feminine.
And how perfectly fitting frog is with our upcoming Full Moon in Aries this Sunday the 16th, which is a Super Moon heralding a real lively burst of energy available to harness and that partners these Sacred energies in a productively beautiful dance.
Frogs help us to find courage in accepting new ideas, to foster a sense of self-nurturing, and to discover connections between ideas. And like this Full Moon’s energy, they align with this being the time NOW to focus on healing and freeing yourself from pain and suffering by cleansing all toxicity from your life (people, habits, things, ideas, etc.) that’s impinging on your freedom and both hurting and holding you back.
Both Aries and frogs are about exciting opportunities being presented and your ability to act now and get things done you’ve been wanting to or procrastinating.
Any projects been knocking at your door?
Hop to it!
You’ll be supported with ease.
When a frog jumps into your life it may be indicative of the opportunities that can be discovered in the now of your transition. And this Moon energy will help to positively get those underway.
The frog has a unique growth cycle and undergoes some incredible transformations in its progression and attainment of full adulthood, just as we humans do. Hence, frog understands what it feels like to endure some serious growing pains, and uncomfortable and even yucky feelings, along that transition.
Their ability to lay enormous amounts of eggs lends to their fertility symbolism as well as being synonymous with abundance.
Frog’s medicine reminds us of our ties and bonds with all life, help us to understand our emotions more deeply, support healing transformations and cleansing rebirth, and activate the remembrance of our ancient origins of cosmic watery essence.
Aries is also the initiator of beginnings and partnered with our sound healing friend the frog, remind us of our song that ignites our essence into wholeness.
Discovering Depths ~ Lake of the Woods
Willing to experience aloneness,
I discover connection everywhere;
Turning to face my fear,
I meet the warrior who lives within;
Opening to my loss,
I am given unimaginable gifts;
Surrendering into emptiness,
I find fullness without end.
Each condition I flee from pursues me.
Each condition I welcome transforms me
And becomes itself transformed…
~Jennifer Welwood

Walking along Lake of the Woods, Minnesota








































