Monthly Archives: March 2023

Rooting & Carving the Volcanic Force of Vitality ~ Molten Alchemy Pulsing Through My Veins

Hello my friends and happy Spring! It feels good to be back and to touch in with you all again. My time away has been wonderful and insightful – the tiny tendrils of fresh new life within are indeed stretching with open arms to the golden rays of sunshine.

Continuing in the vein of less posts, but more content when I do actually share, today’s return review will encapsulate layers of take-aways spanning over the last 17 days. I may not draw full conclusions or tie in every single detail I mention, as I do enjoy sharing/weaving stories more than detailing what I feel the reader can extract and receive on their own, relative to what speaks to you. But I will highlight standouts and some of the things gleaned that feel of value to share because of collective connection.

If you don’t want to read the whole share, but are a crystal cocreator, like me, you can scroll to the end for the current Spring surprise offering and upcoming one. There’s also links to online workshops, as I’ve noticed an upswing in questions and registering, likely due to the current wave of energies everyone’s riding.

As you know, I was away for ten days and also took time before and after our journey to create space for that experience, personal breaths, and anything needing to integrate as bookends.

Some really significant things took place before we headed out and around my birthday. This included snow levels breaking all historical numbers since record-keeping began in the 1950s for the Southern Sierra just the weekend before we left, standing at 283% of normal. The Central Sierra is at 231% of normal and may also reach historical high after this current atmospheric river storm we’re experiencing, and Tahoe is closing in on the 1952 record at just 135 inches below it. Although this present storm could bring another 48 inches and close the gap between first and second some more. There are a couple of ski resorts reporting they’ll be open through July and most others including the one we frequent is staying open until beginning of May. That’s a LOT of water energy for this Year of the Water Rabbit.

AND then there was the complete flipping of Lake Tahoe taking place on February 27th – just the day after my birthday. This means that the water filling the lake, fully mixed from top to bottom of its 1640 foot depth and was the same temperature throughout, which is a rare occurrence. The last time was during the 2018-2019 Winter. This feels significant like a total reset-refresh, and in fact it does create the best conditions for aquatic plants and animals in terms of oxygenation, nutrient redistribution, and cooling the bottom during geothermal heating. It also provides much greater clarity to farther depths overall – so of course I’m looking at that water element symbolism I feel is such a key/challenging energy for us to process and integrate. I think you can connect the dots on other take-aways.

And while that was happening, Dave and I continued to immerse in major shoveling work around and above the house, clearing paths, jacuzzi, gas lines, and roof. We also got a crew to do most of the heavy work on areas Dave hadn’t done on the roof – he was focused on the perimeter where ice dams form and putting up heat tape – as there’d been too many stories of establishments (including 2 of the grocery stores we frequent) and homes all having their roofs collapse or compromised. The amount of snow that came off of the roof ended up creating more work to remove areas we’d cleared and also created a Tania-friendly way to get on the roof if desired, as the level meeting the pile-up already on the side of the garage now made a level walkway from bank to roof LOL!

We all know of my height fear I’ve been working through, and climbing ladders fall into that category, especially that first big step from ladder to roof, which is why Dave did the upper work and I stuck to the ground like a rabbit. I was only ever able to make it to the second to top step of the ladder, but froze and could not let go even with Dave there to help. I embraced my limitation without judgment and this ladder fear would end up coming full circle, as you’ll see near the end of today’s share. Needless to say, we got everything accomplished before heading out that put our minds at rest. We wanted to leave our home in the hands of our house/animal sitters without stress.

We did have snow mixed with rain storms the days leading up to our departure and that made for another epic journey for our sitters who were driving up from Southern California and had to get over the pass. Without going into details, they arrived at 11pm the night before we left and said they’d never been on such a wild adventure before that had their senses on all-time high and them using all their energy work and prayers. What troupers they were, arriving all smiles, starry-eyed, and hearts open. They were just like Desiree with all she went through to get here for my birthday. The fur babies immediately warmed up to these faery souls and we all knew divine alignment struck again!

It poured rain the whole way down the mountain and to the airport the next morning, but the roads were completely clear and our flight was on time and departure went smoothly.

We had three connections to our destination – the first being to LAX. It just so happened that the same day we were flying into Los Angeles – 3/14 – was the same day the President was. Air Force One had just arrived right before we did, so there was a backup of planes waiting to get to gates. It didn’t affect us, as we had time before our next plane, but I did find that intersecting dynamic of interest.

All was well and our next flight was on time and we took off with ease. Of course, you can bet I did energy work for all the travels – especially given weather and events of late around travels for people – so we were grateful. And while we didn’t have any flight challenges, there was a challenge that took place on our flight for a woman sitting two rows ahead, but diagonally to the right, three seats. This woman started having seizures about half way through the flight and they continued over and over. There was a lot going on and flight attendants on phones to ER and running around, as well as passenger nurses and cardiologist that just happened to be on the plane, coming to her assistance. I did my best to send energy from where I was and they managed to get her through. Emergency personnel came to get her when we landed and we were all just grateful she made it.

We arrived on time and waited for our last flight. It was a little late due to wind issues, so we did arrive 30 minutes later than scheduled. We had to circle once and retry the landing – a new perspective was successful! All-in-all, quite seamless in terms of three connecting flights. I looked out the window just before our last landing and the sky was just stunning and lit up in gold – the recurring theme these days. I noticed that an eye appeared in the water just below the clouds on the right. To me it was an immediate Eye of Horus and I could actually see the whole falcon. Can you?

Touchdown, Big Island of Hawaii. And this would begin a huge contrast and harmonizing balance to all of the snow experiences I shared – from snow and ice enchantment to tropical paradise. One form of water to another.

We were the very last flight into this little airport that shuts everything down at 9pm. We were unable to pick up our rental car and even the courtesy taxi phone had gone to bed. But divine timing can always be our friend, if we stay in alignment. It was obvious we wouldn’t make it to our destination about an hour and 20 minutes away, so Dave immediately looked for a hotel room by the airport on his cell phone. Dave wasn’t coming up with anything really close, but what he did find was hugely expensive just for one night – upwards of $400-500. So, I jumped on my cell phone just in case something else popped up and the first thing I saw was just under two miles away for only $163. There was ONLY ONE room left. I booked it immediately. I called to ask if they had a shuttle or something and they didn’t. The woman said she’d be there until 10:30pm if we could get there, otherwise she’d leave the key with security. It was 10pm.

While Dave started looking up potential car services – none were available including Uber – and said maybe we’d have to walk. I decided to try the taxi phone again and while I walked there I noticed two women who were in the same boat as us and talked to them. Then a couple walked up. They were waiting for their taxi that they’d arranged earlier.

The taxi driver shows up and I was taken back by how much he looked and acted like a sweet friend of mine who passed just months ago. We talked to him and the couple and they both said we could join them and he’d take us to our hotel first because it was on the way to theirs. He promised to return for the two women who couldn’t fit in with us all and we promised to remind him.

And so we arrived, just minutes before the woman left to check us in, and all was well for a good night’s rest. Upon waking we’d head back to the airport to get our rental car. Although we didn’t make it that night to our place, we were well taken care of and felt like divine intervention may have prevented us from an accident or some other unknown event on the dark road to get there.

It ended up being a great unfolding because being in Hilo from the start of the day gave us time to do things in the area before heading to our destination. Our morning taxi driver gave us good tips and we hit a great vegan spot for breakfast after picking up our convertible jeep. Originally we had a different car booked, but we decided to have some more fun and the choice did make for extra enjoyment, constant, warm sunshine on our skin, fresh air to breathe in deeply and whisk through our hair, as well as overall weeeeee freedom.

This whole trip was meant to be recharging, peaceful, and celebratory – basically a no-agenda vacation. Lately, we just want to create our own little world and experience around things, needing personal time on our own, so no one really knew where we were going except family. In my life I’ve spent a lot of time focused on others, so I really cherish and carve out my own time now. This ultimately helps me show up with an overflowing cup when I do immerse with others.

Other than knowing where we were going to stay, our trip was unplanned for the day-to-day. It was all about flow – in this case think lava flow. The Big Island is the only Hawaiian island I’ve had a draw to visit, as I’ve been to Maui and Oahu three times each, before, and Kauai once. I never got around to visiting Hawaii, but as always the timing was perfect for it to align with my 50th and where that’s brought me to in my life energetically. Each of the Hawaiian Islands are connected to chakras and the Big Island of Hawaii is linked to the Root Chakra, which is exactly the energy I am currently focused on.

Everyone is on a different trajectory and layer of their journey. For me, my focus in recent years has been on grounding, integrating, manifesting and merging all the more etheric energies into embodiment and Earthly living. Balance and harmony are my intentions and for me, the Root Chakra is a portal to harnessing our vitality, life force, and to repattern the core foundations we’ve been operating on that is held within our DNA – that to include ancestral lineage and collective restructuring from the core up and through. It’s also a way that we can bring all that good stuff we’ve mentally and intuitively attained and absorbed to bring visionary into being, imagination into creation, and feeling into experience.

Hawaii, the largest of the islands, is the home of four active volcanoes that I see as the blood of the Earth pulsing with creative force and reflective of the blood pulsing through our human veins. Hence the island is continually growing, as lava releases and turns to rock – creating more Earth/the element of the Root Chakra – and the island is full of life force and vitality. Mauna Loa is the largest, active volcano on Earth so being there was a way to literally dive into these most primal depths. I was connecting a lot with Pele who is both a destroyer and creator (in this way being somewhat similar to Kali), embodying the fire as an elemental force of nature and Goddess. Also known as Pelehonuamea, “She who shapes the sacred land,” her presence felt like a sacred sister to me while on the island and I couldn’t help but recognize her most intimately.

The beautiful thing I recognized and took away from our time on Hawaii, was just how much my processes have changed, how much work I have already done, and how quickly things can take root. I’ll explain that more as I continue, but even in contrast to what I felt as a relatively gentle process last year, considering my Chiron Return in motion and the things I was encountering to help me move the old energy through during our time by the ocean in Oregon, this took things to an even more fluid-with-ease place. You may recall my calling up those sealion and other animal death experiences to help process emotional integration. But just as with my 50th birthday’s sound healing ceremony recognition that I didn’t have any kind of emotional release or high from what was hugely powerful during that, the days on the Big Island proved to continue in that steady and even vein. No heavy stuff or triggers – just pure peace and flow, just as I sensed this trip and new time for me would be.

Pele is the goddess of fire, lightning, wind, dance and volcanoes, and I certainly felt like this reclaiming of Root energy in a new way was all of that wrapped up in a graceful hula – one of my favorite forms of visual dance that tells a story and moves a thousand energies like a picture paints a thousand words. I still recall my very first grass skirt, flowered bikini top and lei my parents brought back for me when they first visited the islands during my childhood and how I loved dancing in it for guests who visited. For me, the experience of Root integration was like liquid alchemy, transmuting Pele’s energy into golden flames of cold, frosty fire. This was actually something that came through in a meditation I’ll share later, but in the form of white flames that blurred the lines between hot and cold – you know that feeling of your hands feeling frozen and you run really hot water on them and you can’t tell if you’re burning or if you’re feeling the oddly soothing bite of liquid ice?

Anyway, our first day was a wonderful immersion to ignite our senses and get a feel for the days ahead. We ended up exploring a black sand beach as a way to set the tone for the days ahead after a nurturing, late breakfast – in fact every single beach we were drawn to on this trip was a black volcanic sand one.

That felt more than perfect, given the energies I sensed we’d come to soak in and integrate. And yes, that’s snow capping the peak of Mauna Kea behind me – a perfect linking integration between home and here.

I’ve been on black sand beaches in Tahiti and Iceland, but during this journey we nestled our feet and bodies into this rich, cleansing energy on a regular basis, which made one feel like a luxuriating dragon nesting on her sacred and potent ground.

After our volcanic beach exploration, we shifted gears to taking a drive up to visit some of the most known waterfalls in the area, Akaka Falls – a 442 foot tall fall.

The short and beautiful hike also passes a 300 foot tall waterfall and several smaller cascades in a lush rainforest setting. What made the day a beautiful mix of lovely surprises and reflections of flowing in alignment was the drive between the beach and falls. Our directions had us going one way, but we opted to take the sign that said “scenic drive” which wound through beautiful lushness, lovely vistas, and brought us to some hidden botanical gardens.

Originally we were going to see some gardens past our waterfall destination, but we felt we’d been guided to these ones instead so we embraced the grounds’ invitation that felt like a way the deities of the land were welcoming us.

And not only did we learn from some locals that this one was preferred, but they did end up being quite incredible and the grounds had a really great energy, providing us with more time to merge with our new and very dramatically contrasting landscape to our home we left behind.

It was also like Earth’s way of adorning us with a welcoming of all of her grace and beauty, as every turn of the path we wandered gifted us with a tropical ballroom of dancing faery blossoms, rich verdant drapery, and flowing waters full of effervescent energy.

Back home we love our crystalline alpine water inhabited by the Elementals of the region and here the warmer waters shared their own crystalline properties and whispering Devic realm.

I marveled at how of all of the photos we took on this trip, the ones Dave snapped of me by the “Ku” Tiki statue were the only ones that came out like a completely blurred vision you might see off in the distance through a portal that hasn’t fully crystallized into clarity because of its in between space. Not one of the four snaps were clear.

By choosing the scenic route, we also landed upon an out-of-the-way snack shack that had vegan options and where I immediately connected with the bohemian woman at the window wearing a gorgeous Ganesh bracelet and dawning sacred tattoos of her own. We complimented one another and shared a sweet resonance. Here we hydrated – Dave got a fresh coconut to sip on and I opted for the vegan piña colada before we continued on to Akaka Falls and the surrounding wonders around them.

After returning to Hilo we filled our tummies with vegan pizza in town and then headed off to our home away from home for the next 7 nights and 8 days – Kirpal Meditation and Ecological Center.

We ended up feeling called to stay in the south east and east side of the island our whole trip, as we didn’t feel drawn to venture to the much more touristy areas, nor did we feel like spending our time driving long hours when we could immerse ourselves and relax instead. This also meant we were staying on the wet side of the island. The further west you traveled, the dryer part of the island could be found. That said, the people of KMEC said Gaia and the Gods and Goddesses must like us, as we did not have one day of rain while there, which they said was quite a gift. Right before we arrived there had been rain, and the day we were leaving, a huge downpour bookended the trip. We enjoyed sunshine and warmth, jeep top down, and beach recharge every single day. It felt SO good to dig in my feet and wiggle my toes through all of that good ol’ black volcanic sand.

A blessing indeed to experience the window that opened and our aligning with things to enhance our experience in ways we desired. We were filled with extreme gratitude. And my Pisces toes and feet were feeling the extra healing nourishment indeed. It was actually fun to reflect on the dramatic contrasts of our moving from wearing thumper skis on the mountains to glide through the powder like a bunny to flippers to glide through the water like a mermaid and then bare foot it rather than layer up in cozies. Then of course dip right back into the former, although returning with sun kissed golden skin and revitalized embodiment.

Upon arrival to our all-vegan retreat we were greeted warmly and felt a big Aloha welcome of arriving home. After a little orientation to our new 10 acres of organic orchard, off-grid land to stretch our bodies and soul in, we settled into our little cabin named perfectly – Butterfly – then ventured off on an evening walk to our neighboring volcanic beach to catch our first sunset.

The area is remote and access takes you down mystical old growth mangoes and across volcanic moonscapes left behind from the 2018 eruption that missed taking out KMEC – it’s thought that Pele protected this sacred area because of the uplifting things happening there.

The long tree-laced roads to get there were incredibly mysterious and full of energies whispering day and night. We walked or drove down them at all hours and each time was as magickal as the next.

We enjoyed long, restful, deep sleeps with lullabies by frogs and other tropical musicians, stunning star-lit diamond-clear night skies, illuminated moon vistas, fragrant, cooling trade winds, long walks to nearby beaches and thermal warm ponds, yoga, sunrise and sunset meditations, fresh, nourishing meals made with love, and wonderful talks with community staff and founders. We were the only guests during our stay, so it was the perfect backdrop for serenity carved out in divine personal reflection.

It was so much fun to be surrounded by new creatures we don’t have back home and having these spirit messengers enveloping us with love made us feel extra welcome.

Colorful and curious geckos surrounded us daily, bold mongooses frolicked across our path, wild pigs grunted mysteriously in the night and surrounded our cabin, infusing guttural chants as ritual, core awakening, jungle cats enchanted us with their cosmic eyes and nestled warmly into our touch, roosters reminded us that a new day awaited, and feral cows mooed divine mother hums that stirred the fertile soils within. All of these and more were our new companions for our time away.

My favorite were the saffron finches, reminding me of our chickadees back home. Their vibrant yellow feathers just lit me up each time they fluttered and sang about. One evening’s walk even gifted us a whole tree of them!

The founder’s wife said she only ever sees them in pairs, so this was quite a gift. It reminded me of an abundant and vernal tree of life, oozing with golden goodness.

And we of course were mesmerized by our sea turtle brothers and sisters. We were blessed with three sea turtle encounters in a row that increased by the day. The first took place at the end of our first full day after having reached our destination.

We sat above a magickally lit ocean cliff on volcanic rock overlooking the water and watching the sun set, when we both at the same time noticed a sea turtle swimming toward us, below.

A second appeared a bit to the left, but the first one kept dancing in the water and we both felt immediately that we’d been guided right there so that this soul could connect with and welcome us back – I say back, as I know I have “roots” here.

This experience took place after quite a magickal beach day snorkeling and recharging, and our unusual, but synchronous lunch experience in the local town. Both Dave and I had forgotten our wallets back in our cabin. We didn’t realize this until we were about to head into the restaurant. We weren’t sure what to do, or if we’d have to drive back the half an hour both ways to get money. Lunch had already been served back at our place and we don’t eat dinner, so we weren’t going to wait for that meal. Dave got the idea to go ask the restaurant if they might take some other form of payment like Venmo or Paypal.

While he went in, I waited in the car, noticed the “Hawaiian Fairy” sign on a neighboring store, and asked for some help. I then see Dave come out and waves me over. I then learn what unfolded.

No one was in the restaurant, but one man who was just paying his own bill. Apparently he overheard Dave’s conversation with the server and when the restaurant shared they didn’t have a way that worked for what we had, the man offered to help. He handed Dave $100 cash (saying that way we’d have some extra cash as well as lunch money) and told him he could Venmo him instead. So that’s what went down. Dave wanted to give him extra as a thank you and he said, “No, that’s okay. This is my good deed for the day. I’m happy to help. Just pay it forward.”

So we enjoyed a wonderful Thai lunch, gifted by this man, all because of divine alignment and open hearts meeting together in the flow of kindness and a little faery dust.

It was after that, that the sea turtles swam to us. We were grateful for the blessings surrounding us.

We finished the day off with a private meditation on our own in the on-site, custom-designed Balinese Meditation Pavilion – the perfect space for sunrise and sunset meetings of the spirit and body.

In fact the grounds and our cabin were all infused in the sacred energy of this land and the love and devotion that has been nurtured here. This was the view from our home away from home where our new jeep friend awaited us each morning for the next adventure.

From the gardens, orchards and eco built community, to the jungle and horizon where Cosmos meets Earth – you are surrounded in beauty and depth that await the embrace of open heart meeting intention.

We then started the next day with a 6am meditation there again. This was a great spot to watch the gorgeous sunrises rise above the Pavilion and catch glimpse of the sky portals inviting us into a new day’s experience.

I began to notice a theme happening with my meditations. No matter how I tried to clear my mind or do my usual inner guidance for any intentions or receiving of messages, I just kept noticing a flow of old experiences circulating through. At first I tried to shift that, but I immediately noticed that THIS was what was naturally and organically needing to happen – a fluid releasing flow of letting them go. I instinctively called upon Pele and the spirits of the land to help take these experiences – what felt like the remnant remaining pieces – and to smolder and melt them away into the molten lava so they could transmute like the volcanic elements destroy and create anew.

Everything was moving and integrating smoothly, organically, and easily. There wasn’t any hard work to do with it, but allow, surrender, ask, and let go. Moments replacing years. In part that is because of already doing years of work in the past, but in part it is a reflection of the now. Things CAN be more simple and fluid when we step into that space of potential. It really depends on our individual journey and what we are both here to experience and here to offer the collective as part of that experience. Crafting our lives can shift like the ebbs and flows of ocean waves. There’s no judgment where we find ourselves. There’s simply an offering that we have various ways available and unlimited opportunities to recreate experiences to mirror ourselves in each moment.

Our second sea turtle experience brought us even closer, as we decided to return to some of the black sand beaches back in Hilo to snorkel and enjoy the sunshine, sand, and water. We decided to try one beach first and explored there, before heading back to the first beach we surveyed on the day after our arrival. By choosing to stop at the first one instead of going straight to the beach on our trajectory, this created the alignment for an up close encounter. Here is the sea turtle at water’s edge that greeted us before descending the lava rock into the water.

The second beach we went to had incredible underwater coral forests with a huge variety of vibrant colorful fishes that swam around like water butterflies. Giant sea urchins of black and red peeked out from rocks like battle axes mirroring the fiery volcanic energies surrounding us.

We enjoyed many deliciously vibrant vegan meals and even a full vegan bakery, which we frequented every time we passed it. I had to giggle at its name given the running joke I have with my laughing-to-tears banana bud, Lynne.

There were equally a lot of beautifully vibrant murals reflecting the perfect scenes and messengers for us.

Every day was a new experience for the senses to take in diverse and perfectly balancing contrasts to our life back home. We never drove more than 2 hours to a destination, but even that was just a one-time thing, as I mentioned we were wanting to relax and immerse in what was already accessible around us, rather than work for or hunt down things.

Ease and flow.

Peace and slow.

We were happy we did make that 2 hour drive on the day we did, as it gifted us our third sea turtle experience consecutively following the other two. We found ourselves the largest of black sand beaches and spent the day snorkeling and luxuriating in the tropical bliss.

It was here that our encounters took us closer with the third time being the charm that the other two were prepping us for. First, sea turtle swam to us from below our cliff-top perch. Second, sea turtle greeted us at water’s edge. Here they are in the collage below – the circle highlights the first sea turtle we saw from the cliff.

And third, we found ourselves swimming with sea turtles in a beautiful underwater dance. Gliding along, but maintaining our distance, the beauty of our mirroring was impressed in our hearts.

The day before Spring Equinox we started and ended our day with a 6am and 5pm meditation that framed another lovely beach and snorkeling immersion. The later hour-long meditation was the only one that was joined by three others to include the founder and his wife.

The founder led us briefly in sharing some readings and a very short prompt to support the meditation time to follow, if desired. This was the meditation that shifted everything from my previous meditations so far, although all of them were very fluid and peaceful because of my surrendering without judgment, as well as copartnering in the teamwork being offered.

Up until then, as mentioned, my meditations were transmutational with Pele assisting the process. This time, I was led to inwardly chant OM throughout the 50 minutes or so of silence. I won’t go into all that took place, but I was back to accessing my usual visual journey that began with Buddha appearing, a close-up elephant’s eye, then tall robed light beings, gateways upon gateways opening that were lined in white flames of frosty fire (you may recall my mentioning this at the start) blurring the lines between hot and cold, more beings, a close-up turtle’s eye that morphed into an interdimensional being and then a dragon’s eye, and throughout there was a movement from first violet color showing up, then red, and then green.

I knew something had shifted from the previous meditational journeys.

That evening we enjoyed some tea and conversation that followed an interesting dynamic play out that held some really powerful takeaways.

We made some beautiful connections during our stay, but the special one for me was with the founder’s wife. She and I had an instant rapport and synergy. We later discovered that not only were we both Pisces souls (she’s actually very Pisces with 3 planets in the sign and has an identical twin), but in fact our birthdays were just a day apart. Hers is February 25th and mine is the 26th.

I looked forward to our chats with Mara and immediately missed her upon returning home, but we feel we’ll see each other again. Although separated by a generation, we felt like sisters. There’s potential for something fun in the near future to be in the works that was briefly discussed and put on the table.

The day of Spring Equinox couldn’t have been more perfect to me. This was the day we were guided to go visit Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. Hello Pele!

We began this day with an early morning walk at 5:30am to greet the sunrise.

The beach we thought we might go to to watch it was closed and there was an attendant who said we’d have to come back at 9am. I felt immediately there was reason that we would discover later.

So, rather than be discouraged and walk back, we turned down the perpendicular road and walked to where I saw a clearing in the field.

There was a black lava rock bridge wall on both sides. We sat on the one facing the opening and the colors started to dance as the sun welcomed a new day.

As I looked to the right where we were originally headed, I saw that the sky there was muted and none of the splashes of color were present.

It was all going down on the stage in front of us and the stone wall was our seat for the show, as you can see.

We followed this new season’s greeting with a spectacular vegan breakfast in town at the cutest, artsy, vibrant little place that mirrored our morning Spring Equinox sunrise.

Just look at this gorgeous yumminess in every color of the rainbow!

Then with nourished, happy tummies, we made our way to the wonderful experiences that awaited us.

Our explorations spanned 6 miles of walking and 40 minutes drive of stunning landscapes, with stops along the way that included shorter and longer immersions.

We walked the Kilauea Iki Crater.

Explored the Thurston Lava Tube.

Traversed the dense tropical forested ridges in between.

Drove the Chain of Craters Road upon which we stopped at each crater to experience them.

Saw many steaming hot spots emerging from the cracked open volcanic rock from the Earth below.

Took in the Holei Sea Arch at the end of the Chain of Craters Road, which the guide we spoke to at onset of our day said to make sure not to miss as it’s thought it may not be around for more than 2 more years.

And hiked out to breathe in the ancient energies at Pu’uloa Petroglyphs site where there’s a gallery of 23,000 etchings in the volcanic rocks surrounding the area, which is one of the most extensive petroglyph fields in Hawaii. These document the life and culture of the native Hawaiian people.

It was all incredibly fascinating and richly nourishing with landscapes that were enlivening and richly expanding from the inside out.

And although all of it was incredible there were definitely highlighted moments and experiences where I felt a LOT.

One of these was while we walked through Kilauea Iki Crater. Dave and I were together for the first half and then he got ahead, while I was exploring some of the incredible lava rock and hidden nook areas. I’m often a little behind him, as my hawk eyes and faery senses draw me in, but then I always catch up. I noted an invigorating, raw, and large energy fill the space within me and it was merging animal, human, mineral, and star altogether. Pele was close and also within.

This was also dragon essence, but it was not just deep, primal earth, but the spaces in between and the expanse of All and Nothing. I can only think alchemy where elements mix and become all of their origins and more – golden, but also diamond clear as the pristine essence of molten lava stars bursting through a black hole into their own unified conception of creation anew. It’s like digging for a treasure so deep into the ground that you pierce through to another world. Words fail.

The standout to both of us was the petroglyphs. We were so grateful for our timing with things, as this day followed in suit of things just being extra peaceful and not feeling like we were consumed by tourists. In fact, we had so much space that we were able to sit and meditate for a short while near the petroglyph site to just “be” with the energy.

I loved this whole area and the walk to the site. You could feel the sacredness seeping forth from the ground and wrapping you from all around. I especially was moved by the sound of pods rattling in the wind on the flowering plants that surrounded us. At first I couldn’t figure out what was making that sound, and was instantly taken away to visions of sacred ceremonies taking place in the present moment and as if we were walking in a procession where ancients were shaking their rattles in mutual respect and honor as we passed. It was like a giant ceremony was taking place and their rattles were bathing us in energetic cleansing and activation. I discovered the pod when we sat down to tune into the Earth here and the energies. I picked one up and shook it in amazement. It was indeed a mini rattle.

Although I now knew what was making the sound it didn’t take away from the sacredness of the experience, but in fact enhanced it. Everything felt alive and infused with spirit. The way the pods shook in the wind sounded deliberate and had a cadence and rhythm to it that felt intentional. At times brisk like sweeping the air. And other times it was longer while it worked with the energy.

I sat with my hands on the volcanic rock and asked if there was a message they wanted to give me.

I saw a white mountain goat appear and then the word “Akua” immediately followed. I also saw the face of a female indigenous figure who felt to have lived there before.

I thought I made the word up and didn’t know that it was an actual word until we returned to the car and I researched to see if it meant anything.

The first thing that popped up was this definition:

a god

  1. Formerly, among Hawaiians, the name of any supernatural being, the object of fear or worship; a god.

Then I found this:

Ancient Hawaiians worshipped a vast number of deities, of which there were two main categories. Akua represented nature’s elements—they were the personifications of great natural forces. The ‘aumakua were the familiar ancestral protective gods.


Akua has many meanings, but none more common in today’s Hawaiian than God. In Hawaiian, there are many different kinds of gods, and akua can mean goddess, spirit, ghost, devil, image, idol, divine, even a corpse.

And this:

1. vs. God, goddess, spirit, ghost, devil, image, idol, corpse; divine, supernatural, godly. Akua might mate with humans and give birth to normal humans, moʻo, or kupua

Since I don’t know anything about this word, nor did I even know if it was an actual word or thing, and it’s the first time I’m seeing it, I’ll just leave those meanings there for now and my takeaways held in heart.

Before we returned home we stopped to eat and I picked up 3 small items that spoke to me at the Hawaiian Fairy – the only store I ever entered and was drawn to. It took me only minutes to find them, as I had intention around it, and everything was really inexpensive.

A lava rock bracelet jumped out right away – it was the ONLY one with interspersed golden beads and a center one with OM on it (perfect given my chant in the meditation that shifted things into ease of moving energy and unified alignment with All That Is/Universe).

A sea turtle pendant with howlite shell – divine because the sea turtle brothers and sisters ignited key vibrational frequencies in my heart and held direct connection with my dear tortoise Gaia who once was a giant sea turtle in ancient times and who works with ley lines, sound frequencies, and Earth gridding.

Red (lava and blood reflecting) Balinese harem style pants with black (volcanic rock and deep Earth/shadow reflecting) Egyptian figures at the ankles, waist, and waist pocket – mirroring Horus and the Eye of Horus I saw upon landing and ancient roots. Both the red and black also reflecting Pele, Root Chakra integration, and the transmutation I experienced.

These symbolized the standouts to me on this trip that gifted me layers of richness.

The next day of the Aries New Moon we continued to flow with what the morning’s inspiration was and rather than explore more hikes, since the island spirits were showering us with sunshine blessings, we opted for a last day of black sand beach bliss and snorkeling. We really felt the day of our departure that rain would definitely hit, so soaking in all the ocean and relaxing we could into our skin, felt in order. Before heading back to our nearby spot, we first explored another area of interest just minutes from our retreat where a collapsed lava tube remains. You can’t really see it as clearly as others, since it had new growth, but the area is caved in like a half tube and the cliffs there offer incredible vistas and crashing waves.

It was a beautiful and equally relaxing and activating day, with the largest waves coming to shore that we’d seen so far – reflecting to us the weather was getting ready to shift and the energy in the air was potent and fertile.

We enjoyed some rest, fun, snorkeling and swimming, and just some good ol’ being.

Time moves fast, but we don’t need to. Fully luxuriating in the moment with all of our senses has been the guiding force of our lives. And this time away accentuated that.

We felt cradled in Earth’s nourishment while dragon energy rested behind us in the cliff walls, Pele’s vitality enveloped us all around, and the vast ocean rolled in new energy with each cleansing sweep at our feet.

We put in one more stop along the way back to our cabin to take in day’s end on the open lawn overlooking the ocean where many locals loved to hang out at sunset.

There we nestled into the cool grass in silence and just breathed in the expanse of our time shared on the island. I smiled at the beauty of it all and with gratitude filling my heart for so much I can’t begin to explain, I could feel everything more deeply than ever.

How much life has changed. Richer than the words we teach ourselves to say. It’s an act of being that no story could ever be told in the way only one knows and experiences.

That last evening we decided to close things out in the meditation pavilion and it was another beautiful visionary journey I won’t go into except for the last message I received upon asking if there was something wanting to be shared. The words “deserve” and “reprieve” came through right away and a download of what this meant.

In part, I knew this was a framing of what this trip was about for me, as well as the next leg of my journey.

I’ve been on many sacred travels over my years that have taken me to high energy spots on Earth, vortex areas, and sites of ancient civilizations. My usual experience in the past has been about moving through a lot of stuff that I access by being there and doing integrative healing work individually and collectively.

I would have emotional clearing or heightened emotions flow through. The same has been with much of my spiritual growth work over my life – that felt like work and took time and effort. But more recently things have been shifting and especially since my birthday, this has transformed and dissipated into a new ease and grace that encompasses layers of feelings that instead come through as expanse rather than individualizing each frequency. It’s this new smooth space of everything and nothing that is both powerful and soft.

This journey proved the same…fluid and undefined. Like the breath of life or the wave of the ocean that moves in and out and doesn’t think twice about it. It just is.

My takeaway from this trip, like with my birthday sound healing ceremony, was ease and flow. And this put the message of “deserve” and “reprieve” into perspective.

Another layer to my meditation on that last New Moon evening was a clear download for channeling a language fluidly through sound and crystals. I saw, heard, and felt myself, during the meditation, inwardly expressing this star/ancient language that I could easily have started chanting out loud, but refrained so as not to disturb Dave’s silent meditation.

This added richness to that expansive feeling newly rooting.

That last night we met a new guest that just arrived – the only other since we’d been there. I thought it was fun to learn that she was a rabbit mom, too, and that was a sweet synergy and reflection of more alignment and continuation of resonance as we were slipping out and she was slipping in.

I mentioned that throughout our journey we had rain-free days – such a blessing given we’d come from snow storms and rain with intention to have a tropical retreat infusion of warmth and beach time. The goddesses and gods were shining upon us, as it wasn’t until our day of departure that rain graced us. It was as if they’d been holding it all back the entire trip and then released it with a downpour on that last day. It began the night before and continued until we left.

No worries, as we had already taken advantage of every day of sunshine provided us, soaking in all the good snorkeling and ocean energy, as well as immersions that we desired. It was interesting, because each day we’d check weather forecasts and rain was said to be coming on half of the days, but never did. It seemed more evident this last day would actually release wetness, so we thought ahead and made reservations for a special tour before departing that would take advantage of a rainy day.

So on our last morning, in the fresh energies that the New Moon ignited, we made our way to Kazumura Cave – lava tube on the island of Hawaii. This couldn’t have been a more perfect closure to our trip and really encapsulated so much of the energy I felt we were downloading and integrating while being here. It also provided opportunity for me to experience a shift in my relationship to things that once unnerved me or were challenging in earlier years, as well as helped me move through that height fear I mentioned at the start with climbing ladders.

Dave found this cave experience and I’m so glad he did. It’s a journey that takes you through the world’s longest known continuous lava tube that is virtually unknown, but a national treasure indeed. It’s considered the most important of several lava tubes that formed in the Aila’au eruption that is carbon dated as happening between 1410 and 1470, although oral accounts place it in the 1600’s. Geologically, it’s considered a master lava tube that embodies nearly every type of feature found in lava tubes. It has at least 101 known entrances spanning its 42.5 miles and is the deepest known continuous cave in the U.S. at 3613 feet.

The guardian of this entrance to the cave, Harry, is a special soul indeed. I thoroughly enjoyed his energy and the massive amount of knowledge, enthusiasm, and respect he has about and for the cave/tube is incredible – he’s explored 24ish of the nearly 43 miles of the cave. The divine manifestation story of how he came to be the guardian, finding the entrance behind his home, and learning more about the unusual gifts he has were truly a wonder to hear about. He spends most of his life underground with his companion cave whom you can feel her vitality and breath upon entering.

What an experience! Without detailing it all, I’ll cut to my transformations inside, which included my relationship to claustrophobia and childhood “darkness” fears. I had none of this while inside the cave as we journeyed about 3/4 of a mile down and in. We took a moment near the end where we shut off all of our lamps and sat in silence in the dark. There were just 5 of us – a grandmother and daughter, Dave and I, and Harry. Harry had just finished telling some incredible stories of his experiences in life about seeing beings slip through dimensions, some were what would be considered scary, and also about a child spirit he once encountered in the cave. My childhood and growing up would have had me feeling quite scared sitting in utter darkness with our backs to the depths of Earth’s abyss. This due in part to the ongoing experiences I had since I was a child, and for many years, of presences, sightings, and encounters that at the time I didn’t know how to process. Coupled with a brother who liked to scare me, since he knew I had a very fine line between realms and what one deemed fake and real, and it all added up.

And yet I felt nothing but expanse and complete serenity in the absolute dark, but very alive and potently fertile underground chamber. In fact, it all felt welcoming and familiar. My fears did not exist in this space, but instead turned into possibility and wonder.

The silence, stillness, and complete dark/shadow energy was my friend and I was being cradled in her womb. I felt the power of this inner harmonizing and it was empowering and humbling. As I sat in the dark abyss, with my hands touching the volcanic rock below me, I received more messaging of the downloads happening.

I was claiming my force – life force – with the knowledge of being able to carve and shape it, just like the lava had with creating the tube, for creative life birthing and vitality. The cave was a living, breathing being sharing her secrets of renewal through the natural process of destruction and creation that reimagines and then reforms itself again and again.

It was all full circle – this gentle power and vulnerable strength merging as one in the moment where you feel all of it without separation until you try to name it.

My inner dragon, Pele, ancient turtle/Gaia energy, was all swirling within me in this void of creation at my core. It was so peaceful and potent.

Dave later shared that he’d actually felt unnerved at the end and after the stories was looking behind us to see if he’d see anything – partly wanting to and not wanting to lol! I said, I’d never felt more peace with the darkness and all of the vast energies one might encounter within it. This was a huge shift and transmutation. And it happened organically here.

The other transformation was my relationship to heights and ladders. I didn’t know we’d be climbing tall ladders up and down inside the cave or using a rope to climb up at one point. It was likely better I didn’t, as I then had to be in the moment with it. It definitely challenged my feelings around it, but I decided to face and embrace it.

So each time I had to climb a ladder, I got very present in body and took deliberate, slow and steady turtle steps and arm reaches up and down each rung. I stayed focused right in front me, just like I taught myself with skiing, and not trying to take in everything around me. And I did it! It did call up my inner resiliency and strength, but fear didn’t run the show…my conscious awareness and guidance directed things so that fear had a firm and fatherly hand, while also feeling the motherly encouragement, nurturing and understanding. I didn’t try to ignore feelings or judge them. I merely parented and supported myself through it.

Not only did I feel so much energetically download while down there, but another layer of strength and courage took form.

Once again, demonstrating and reiterating what is possible and available to us all in our own timing.

Harry had mentioned to us upon arrival that they had officially announced that morning that Kīlauea volcano had ceased erupting and lava is no longer flowing within Halemaʻumaʻu Crater. This pause in its flow aligning with our last day leaving was an interesting synchronicity and alignment.

The roots of this time away run deep, but wash over and through me like the sweet fragrance of budding Spring blossoms.

Every bit of richness was received with arms of gratitude and the ancient wisdom of the core elements were absorbed in ways I feel words can’t explain. You just know.

Primal depths, expansive void of creation, foundational support, manifestation alchemy, molten solidity, body wisdom, life force crafting, and grounded resiliency through life’s ebbs and flow, but also innocence, purity, childlike wisdom, sense of direction, and strong Earth/life connection…all of that and then some.

I can feel the molten alchemy pulsing through my veins, as the volcanic force of vitality roots within me and I learn to carve from the void of creation…

Blessings upon blessings I receive, understand, and I am grateful.

And just like that, our tropical paradise morphs dramatically back into the white mountain oasis where the gem of the Sierras, Lake Tahoe, resides. From one mother body of water and dramatic landscape to another sharing much wisdom within each to glean. In place of the golden sunset of our landing at onset of our trip, we were greeted with an expanse of white and blue.

We did make it to one of our favorite beaches here in the warm days following our return, just before our current storm blew in. This made for another seamless transition, just as our first day on Hawaii had gifted us a snow capped mountain behind our first beach touchdown.

Upon returning home I found Astrid dawning her Aries New Moon energy – quite literally. ♈️

You can see her new morphing in the photos above and below.

You may recall how she displayed a Full Moon perfect circle on her fur for the previous Virgo Full Moon (she’s a Virgo) and now she’s mirroring the double Aries New Moon energies, as we had one on March 21st while I was in Pele’s volcanic cave womb, and will again on April 19th PST, combining with a Solar Eclipse. You can also see the patch of silver highlighting her third eye at the symbol’s base.

I’ve talked about this before, how she (my cocreator and spirit sister) constantly uses her fur as frequency language to reflect and embody energies. Only she and my twin soul in rabbit body, Nestor, of all of my rabbit companions, had the ability to do this through their fur.. each of them speaking to me in what has always felt like cosmic hieroglyphics as a form of their communication. It may just seem like random molting, but I understand their depths from a different perspective.

And I love how her highlighting this Aries underscores much of the freshly ignited energy that I experienced as prevalent in terms of the elements, signs, and planets that the Root Chakra is associated with that interweave and intersect with me personally and my own astrological evolution.

While away, some downloads on energy movement and clear messaging came through, which strongly confirmed it was time to release some more of my special crystal partners to their new homes, which may excite some of you who have messaged me. These will be shared in an upcoming update, but for now the current remaining 8 pieces and bundles are receiving a Spring release with a 20% sale offering, also because of the messaging I received that they need to be with their cocreators. This is a huge discount considering they’re already priced at costs and especially so for the large, incredible Chromafusion pendants. If you follow their creator, Meagan Clark, you know how in demand her work is and she hardly has sales herself. So, if you’ve felt one of these now-key spirit messengers of the Air and Water to transform, flow, harmonize and create calling you, this may be the alignment you were hoping for: Creations & Crystals Closet

As mentioned above, I’ve noticed another upswing in people feeling called to support transformation in their life, further integration of their gifts, and/or take things to the next level. This is likely due to the strong, new energies streaming through that will affect everyone differently. I’ve been seeing more registrations and receiving inquiries as to what online workshops I’m currently offering or if I have any available (if in fact they didn’t know I did). The following links hopefully answer those questions: Empowerment Series and Reiki Certification Training

Oceans of Transformation ~ Early Spring Wishes for Your Creative Potential

This is just a quick, last post until likely end of March or beginning of April some time. I’ll be away for 10 days soon and we’re immersed in house snow remediation and overall preparation before heading out, so my windows are few and far between for spare moments.

Currently snow levels just surpassed 1970’s records here and we’re closing in on 1952 and they’re saying we could be on track to set a new single-season snowfall record. We HAVE experienced the coldest Winter, though, outdoing that latter year and this has created challenges since ice is forming – especially on rooves and many establishments have seen collapses. In fact, our famous Emerald Bay (one of the most photographed spots around the lake and in the world) has frozen over for the first time in decades due to the atmospheric river!

Indeed a LOT of firsts are happening here and this year – I’m still in awe of my 50th aligning with all of this.

Anyway, all of our neighbors are staying proactive and you can daily find everyone out on the rooftops shoveling, or clearing something – us included. So, we’ve definitely been getting tons of exercise here (moving huge fire energy, which is so good to channel it effectively like this). We’re grateful we have the physical ability and stamina to handle it all. It’s made for deep, restorative sleep indeed!

And you can bet I’m focusing on how all of this ties into collective dynamics and the way I can best do my threaded part in that tapestry.

I thought I’d lace the beautiful and dramatic sunset views throughout this share that I got to witness a few days ago because of being out back for hours shoveling away. There’s always a silver lining to things and seeing these colors painted across the sky gave me extra hope and inspiration about what’s growing beneath the surface of it all.

I only get small snippets of time here and there for things outside the scope of what I’m immersed in, but don’t really have the band-width anyway to focus deeply on things that aren’t immediately calling…part of the importance of staying in alignment right now that I feel, and drawing strong boundaries.

Perhaps some of you might be in that same energetic space?

I keep feeling profound changes taking place and form for a lot of people and Earth is definitely giving us a grand show in mirror to that. I’m floored by the 180 leaps many are taking and the resiliency demonstrated – the kind of stories you don’t hear as much about, but ARE happening. The messier things seem, the more transformation is happening.

I imagine the next time I touch in there’ll be more to dive into and share, including some more fun firsts hehe! For now, here’s some added things I’ve both been celebrating and feeling to bring through:

  • Today marks my 22nd year anniversary of legally changing my name to Tania Marie – making my middle name my last name. I always love that it falls during Pisces season and today is actually Daylight Savings Time, so that’s kind of “shine your light” and “be authentically bold” fun to add to that energy, since we Spring forward with more light now
  • A certain sweet friend and “spiritual skin” sacred tattoo client just ignited her FULL back piece I designed for her two years ago, getting the nearly full line work done on it a few days ago and it’s epic – can’t wait to hopefully share a photo when it’s completed this Spring – quite activating and full circle for us both and even collectively!
  • We added a potent little triad group of crystals to our offerings that came to us through a CA source a couple of months ago that we thought a particular “someone” would love out there – FYI I won’t be able to ship anything out until the week of March 27th (I had this group ready to go, but hadn’t time to put the claim button on them yet) – see Creations & Crystals Closet for them and the remaining, now-energy aligned beauties (more still to come as I have time!)
  • Hoping to have some sweet seasonal and inspirational rabbit ornaments available come later Spring and onward. Some pieces came to me that I look forward to painting in my off-time for fun – I always like to have a tiny side channel while I’m working away, as various creative channels are healthy for moving all that energy
  • A fun surprise collaboration that’s been written in the stars is upcoming! Stay tuned!

I’ll be away for the Spring Equinox of March 20th and the Aries New Moon on the 21st directly after.

This upcoming trip I sense will be drawing a line for me, so I’m looking forward to life changes on so many levels I haven’t even shared (every step we take is bringing our dreams and intentions closer, but Uni loves to support us when WE support us).

Usually, by this time we’re seeing melt and hints of sprouts pushing through. You might remember me having irises pop up through the snow for my birthday the last few years. This year we’re deeply immersed in a white womb – very literally – and although things are moving on a different time schedule, it feels aligned with the collective evolution. Things are definitely at work behind the scenes, and the pieces are finding their position on the game board of life. The generative powers of Spring always emerge, but Nature knows the time she needs and doesn’t rush or judge the process. I feel the more we flow with what shows up and calls upon us for recognition, the more we experience fluidity and grace – like a cetacean gliding through the watery depths.

As Laura shares in her recent “Magical New Moon in Aries” video and Preparing for Equinox 2023 post (see link), there’s a magickal selkie energy around this fresh cycle – think mermaids, seals, and ocean energy. This reminds me of our Oregon coast time that was deeply integrative, and even our time in Playa Del Carmen just preceding that – both felt foreshadowing of this upcoming trip of my return to the tropical beach and ocean, but being able to have a new relationship and experience now after moving through the Chiron stuff peacefully.

Can’t wait to see what I “rediscover” from my Pisces self to infuse into life and creations upon return.

Of course it just so happens that one of the several crystal energies that I’ve been getting a hit on strongly is Ocean Jasper. This beautiful mermaid with open druzy portals recently came to me (not readily seen in the closeup photo above or even in the group one below), along with a couple of other sister Ocean Jasper pieces that sit right in front of me on my desk alongside a beautiful little starfish and seal I was gifted – all part of my animal spirit collective who work with me daily.

Do you see a special “golden” smoky citrine bear anchoring things alongside his little quartz friend with golden solar plexus? The story behind his coming home to me is epic too! They join the gang in this location with rabbits, horse, hawk, and owl oh my!)

“Expansive” was my word from my birthday sound healing ceremony that added to my year word of “breakthrough,” so things continue to feel like a big opening of what I’ve sensed and been strengthening. All this varying water energy – frozen ice, snowflakes, white powder, alpine lakes and soon to be cosmic ocean, waterfalls, warm spring pools, tropical streams, and rainforests – really seems to be speaking to just how key it is to integrate these particular elemental depths.

Our water energy, emotions, feelings, subconscious, and shadow have been nudging and now screaming at us to pay attention, not ignore them, and start integrating these core pieces in an empowered way. It’s about bringing all of our parts together – the seen and unseen, the hidden and visible, and the conscious and subconscious – so we walk forth whole and aware. Alchemy in motion!

Do we want things to continue to feel like they’re happening to us, or would we rather feel like we’re cocreating things?

It’s a choice we each individually get to make.

I had a strong nudge to repost this, so I’m going to leave you with a reshare of my sound channeling, which you can go directly to at this link: Opening the Stargates

It feels particularly aligned with energies even more so right now, and the key codes within it just might add to the watering of seeds within, or the blossoming forth you desire this Spring.

Because WordPress doesn’t show videos through email notifications of posts, I’m linking instead.

I’d love to hear how you experience it if you haven’t heard it before, what you received the first time you did, and/or what it brings up for you differently if you’re listening again.

I discovered from others who tried to comment on the video that the comment section wasn’t enabled when I first posted it. With busy days, I only just got around to fixing that, so please go ahead and comment directly there this time if you do have an experience to share, as well as if you’d like to hear more sound channelings in the future. It will be easier for me to keep it separate to anything messaged here.

I’ll leave you with a question to ponder, if you feel so inclined, and perhaps journal about or just have gentle, nonjudgmental, curiosity around….

What have you wanted to do, feel, create more of, or bring into your life, but felt either too afraid to do it, others told you not to do it or that it was wrong, perhaps you felt not worthy of having it, kept pushing it off UNTIL the ideal situation was in place, or that there was some kind of lack that prevented you from freely stepping into saying, “yes?”

I know my answer…and how I’ll boldly be returning.

Sending oceans of love, magickal flow, and expansive heart blossoms of potential to you!

See you in Spring!

Breakthroughs & Epicness ~ A 50th to Remember!

As I wrote in my December 29th, 2022 post before the new year began and in response to one of the words I received after I did the 2023 mantra word exercise:

“…’breakthrough‘ carried a particular resonance to the overall energy field I sense I’ll be navigating and so for now this word is feeling like my partner.”

That was the word I also received previous to the exercise, feeling that really big breakthroughs were going to be an ongoing part of my personal experience, alongside the collective’s, and especially with my big birthday hitting. This was underscored after several breakthroughs rolled continuously in since around our time in Playa Del Carmen in May of the previous year during the Full Moon Eclipse and especially during our Friday the 13th sacred Temazcal Ceremony – similar to a sweat lodge. Another sacred ceremony activated the next “breakthrough” energies on my birthday, but I’ll get to that shortly.

I also wrote a bit about my Chiron Return that ignited this new paradigm of reinvention through an organic, energetic excavation of sorts that has been reconfiguring my inner wirings. Coupled with stepping more into my Capricorn North Node (or Cappy, as I lovingly call it), it’s all supported a definite new embodiment morphing into shape. Without needing to detail anything further with those, the flow I have been creating has truly been key to the way of experiencing it all.

And, my 50th birthday did indeed herald the next wave of breakthrough shifts and even exploded in epic proportions with widespread reach.

As you might have heard, and from what I’ve been sharing, Lake Tahoe and the Sierra Nevadas have been receiving record-breaking levels of snow. In fact, we’re now making history here with this season being second only to the record held in 1952. I believe we’re only 20 feet or less from taking first place if these snow storms continue. And the snow and moisture ain’t a-stoppin’!

There’s been so much snow that our house nearly looks like an igloo and we had to do some major shoveling work a few days ago – Dave on the roof and me on the perimeter of the house creating a path to clear away snow and ice from touching the doors, windows, and causing ice dams at the top.

Dave has actually been on the roof a few times now, as rooftop challenges presented themselves for the first time ever. But we’ve learned a new system through trial and error with it. This epic snow season has added layers to our evolution and how to handle unexpected things we’ve never had before – which results in resiliency and wisdom for the days ahead – life tapestry lessons through threads that present themselves.

The amount of snow has also, to me, reflected deep shadow energy and highlighted the hidden. How we navigate through the core water/subconscious stuff is a game changer. And these days are bringing all of that to the surface whether we like it or not. Those of you who have done a lot of work and preparation ride through such conditions with greater fluidity – mirroring water’s nature – but you may still then have others processing their own relationship to the hidden that could trigger any remnants within, in order to help you anchor that work. The snow levels symbolize the amount of collective stuff that’s been stuffed and no longer will stay quiet. What will be revealed and blossom forth from the reveal and integration is still stirring in the collective cauldron. It will be interesting to see what emerges come Spring and beyond.

I don’t know how this year’s garden and landscape around us will look when all the snow thaws and melts – it will be a surprise to see who weathered the storms and what new energies want to birth – but I do know that even with any breakage and endings, new life will surely begin again.

As I said to my dear friend, Lisa of Lemurian Rose, “it’s an epic year with new learning curves!” to which she chimed in with whole-hearted agreement and we both had a good laugh about recent unfoldings.

Back to birthday updates, I really didn’t have any expectations around it, and in fact had no plans originally as I don’t like big parties and am happy with ringing in the new more low-key and organic, but when I received unexpected news that a special guest would be coming out for it, we did pencil in some plans. But Uni – my loving word for the Universe – had other ideas, and as usual were more perfect than the mind could detail and strategize out, AND were equally supported, as long as we embraced being in alignment with the ever-shifting energies.

And not only did we come to understand this theme of empowered flow, but it pointed at initiatory experiences that were calling for greater trust, resilient flexibility, and retrieval of personal power from all the work already done. It’s about all of it being here and now already and merely needing to be consciously engaged.

I will highlight some of the experiences over the last week or so, as they may support the shifts you’re embracing too. I would like to also add how hugely moved I was by the outpour of love I received from so many of my friends near and far AND for the major courage and kindness that some key players in my local celebrations embraced and showered me and each other with….it was, again, epic in proportions and I don’t even have the words to express about what they all went through in conjunction with my special day.

Last Thursday the 23rd and the day before my sweet friend’s arrival, Dave and I enjoyed a perfect ski day with sunshine and beautiful powder. Our short drive there gifted us coyote medicine, as another beauty ran across the road and made sure to stop at the end of the crossing street to ours so we could make eye contact.

This beauty felt grounded, bold and primal. You likely recall my sharing about the buoyant shape shifter, strawberry blonde coyote who bounced through our yard with joy and elvish mischief, so coyote energy was definitely being accentuated even though each held a different frequency, and did in fact not stop there.

That perfect day and the visitor seemed to be the calm before the storm and the messenger of resiliency that would be needed to navigate potential, upcoming challenges, twists and turns, or unexpected changes. Adapting to changes definitely was our strong suit for the week and like coyote, we embraced it all with playfulness, fluidity, and a deeper strength that emerged from our cores. It was also this very Thursday night that Desiree started her journey to us, all the way from Vermont – you likely remember her from my 2021 post, A Winter Solstice to Remember.

A red-eye’s long journey went seamless through her multiple connection flights, until she hit her last flight from LAX to Reno on the morning of Friday the 24th.

That’s when the first big storm hit – metaphorically and literally.

What timing for this storm and blizzard conditions that cancelled all flights into Reno. Desiree already had about an 8 hour lay-over to wait for that now-non-existent-flight, but being that this was her very first, ever solo trip in her life, she was at the precipice of the next phase of empowered Hanged Man kind of life shifts (think breaking old patterns, fully letting go, and strengthened metamorphosis), and I was about to celebrate my own huge shift with hitting 50 and what that was bringing into my own life with clarity and conviction, what was to come next would definitely be initiatory.

We were on it right away and while Desiree was in line and trying to get info and possibilities, we brainstormed and then followed through on a miraculous weaving.

It just so happened that friends of ours who lived at the north end of the lake were in the Bay Area because our friend’s mom had just arrived in San Francisco from overseas on Thursday – the same day Desiree began her travels. That trip was kind of a surprise and not long-term planned, but they had driven to the Bay Area Wednesday, staying at their second home there for the night, just to pick her up and planned to drive back to the lake Friday because they wanted to be with me for my birthday.

So, long story short, we made an inquiry to them and this is what unfolded. All flights to Reno were cancelled for the good part of the day and flights to other places like Sacramento and Oakland (the closest options) were either booked or not timely for our needs. EXCEPT for this ONE flight Dave found online that only had 3 seats left. He immediately starting to book it and got delayed with online issues that resulted in 2 seats getting taken and Dave snagging the very last one for Desiree. In the meantime, Desiree ran to a different terminal since it was on a different flight and got to the desk just as we booked it and they printed her ticket with confirmation we gave her – last ticket available. She flew into Oakland and our generous, compassionate friends picked her up and took her to their home where they cooked her a homemade meal and showered her with nurturing and nourishment, despite neither of them knowing each other. The roads into Tahoe were closed due to the conditions and even though they eventually opened in the late afternoon, they decided it best to wait out the night and drive fresh and rested the next morning – Saturday the 25th. So, Desiree stayed overnight with them and they had a beautiful time together with so much healing support all around that ensued. Again, first time any of them were meeting each other, but became close through it all. Desiree was amazing with all of it and maintained clear energy, flow, resiliency, adaptability, and self-care the whole way, which saw her through it without missing a beat. And our friends also demonstrated incredible flexibility, changing all of their plans (they were going to leave earlier to head back to Tahoe) in order to take care of Desiree and not have her stranded.

We learned not too long after new plans were in place, that the incredible woman who was going to be facilitating a special sound healing ceremony for my birthday celebrations, just so happened to also have been in LAX the same time Desiree was – we had no idea she was coming in just for this event. She, too, had her flights cancelled and rather than wait until the next day’s flights, decided to jump in her car to try to make it to Tahoe anyway. Dave had set up this sound healing with her for Saturday the 25th, so motivated by her desire to make that happen, as well as move her own power through the circumstances presenting themselves, she wasn’t giving up. We learned later how huge the journey had been to her own evolution, providing insights and shifts to add to the equation. After 29 hours of travels for her, which included sleeping in her car and getting stopped at closed roads, she DID make it to Tahoe later on Saturday. But because of all of this, the sound healing was switched to Sunday, February 26th, making it fall ON my birthday instead of the day before. Oh UNI!!!

Originally, the day before had been better for the key players in this, but Uni had other plans and wanted it to take place on the actual day of my birthday instead – potent and divine indeed! Luckily, we were all flexible and decided to embrace all of the stuff being thrown at us with trust, empowerment, no resistance, and true surrender to the path of grace. The result being divine alignment, as when we flow with changes and unexpected surprises, rather than try to control and operate on old patterns, then we come to see how truly supported every step of the way is with invaluable gifts revealed as we progress.

Meanwhile, as Desiree had her own epic nearly two day journey to get to us – her initiatory activation of the new – Dave and I made our way to my parent’s house for the first of my sweet birthday celebrations. The reason we had this set up for that day was because that was the only day we were planning to be down in Reno, so it made it easiest to celebrate with my family while there. My parents had prepared a lot of things so we were grateful for the bit of breathing room the weather allowed for us to still get there and be with them.

We, too, had challenging conditions to get through on the roads, but because of our timing shifting with not having to go earlier to the airport to pick Desiree up, we were able to take more time and had a little less weather to deal with. Originally we were going to get her and she was going to join the birthday surprises my parents put together for me, but we all went with the new Uni plan and it worked out beautifully even though the drives to and from were still stressful. That’s why energy work is my best friend and I never leave home without it, nor ever take any situation for granted. I use it for everything and hit all the angles to make sure we got it covered. You can bet the whole week was not only showered with snow, but Reiki and energy work too! Cocreating is one of our superpowers, so don’t forget the tools in your pocket and your part in the way things play out.

And speaking of showering, on the way to this first celebration at my parent’s house we were showered by Nature with quite the show of messengers in pairs that was indeed epic too.

In the open fields of the valley we crossed through, 2 giant red-tailed hawks sat perched in very near trees, the bald eagle couple that resides in this area were sitting together in their tree, 2 herds of wild mustangs were grazing on food foraged in the snow, AND 2 coyotes were running together through the herds of mustangs. Just wow!

The coyotes for some reason gave me a feeling of the Moon Tarot card where a dog and a wolf are depicted. There’s a sense of duality within coyote medicine to me between playfulness and wisdom, conscious and unconscious/hidden elements, trickery/challenge and good fortune/resiliency, etc. Seeing the two separate, different energy ones on the days leading up and now the two together…it just kept getting reiterated in their energy and of course as we approached the Full Moon of March 7th – yesterday.

Although we were all sad Desiree couldn’t join, we felt there was something divine unfolding with these shifts we were embracing and it all would reveal itself as we kept moving forward.

Birthday party time at my parent’s was still wonderly – hehe! – and my family went all out making it perfect for me.

From the gold and teal decorations where we sat to enjoy our delicious meal and cake, to the surprise Alice in Wonderland tea party themed table made just so I could be surrounded in my favorite energy down the rabbit hole, to the incredibly thoughtful and magickal gifts, and just the pure love and joy of it all – I couldn’t have felt more loved and celebrated.

I was so overjoyed, I put on all of the special jewelry pieces my family and Dave gave me together so that I was adorned in the magick and love each held. It was also a lot of fun too and made me giggle!

My mom made my favorites for lunch and my dad made my favorite for cake! Yum-me-oh-my!

Here’s a view of the inside of the four level scrumptious and moist vanilla cake with vanilla buttercream icing and a light lemon pudding filling, alongside just a few of my special gifts that included a Titania – Queen of the Faeries ring (No joke! That’s what it’s called – I didn’t make that up! The faery my name comes from) that my parents found me.

It was very special and memorable in all ways and made the day’s shifts and wild weather and roads, balanced out with whole body and soul nourishment!

The drive home in the dark was a slow one due to the ongoing storm, and we were so glad and grateful to arrive safely back to the house surrounded in protection and warmth, as well as relieved that our friends didn’t try to make it out that night, as the passes they would have come through would have been even worse in the dark.

Good rest for all saw us welcoming a new and calm day, while our friends made it to our house around noon to marvel at all of the last two days’ interwoven experiences. We shared some tea and muffins from the Wonderland display, together, to ground everyone – as of course my parents sent us home with tons of left overs to share.

Then our sweet friends who brought Desiree to us left, and after settling in we decided an immersion by the lake would be a great welcome to Tahoe activation for her, a way to anchor in the energies, and an igniting of what was to come.

It was a beautifully calm day, which made for a wonderful walk through the snowy fields and forest, coming to rest lakeside to take in the crystalline waters of Mother Tahoe.

We followed that up with a grounding meal – all of the delicious leftovers from mom and dad, which hit the spot and helped Desiree to be a part of the energies of that day. I then got to open the beautifully wrapped gifts she’d sent ahead from her and her girls (my honorary Vermont faery nieces), which truly sealed the day with sweetness.

Everyone got some great sleep and because things had been changed up with our original ideas for the weekend, we continued playing things by ear and decided on a relaxing kick off to my new cycle morning. That included a warm and cleansing soak in the jacuzzi, surrounded by the snowy landscape. It was still calm, which was a lovely birthday good morning!

We then made our way to the sound healing ceremony, just before 1pm, ending up synchronously with our friends being right behind us on the road who drove back down from the north end of the lake. Divine timing indeed that demonstrated the tapestry we were all weaving personally and collectively.

The ceremony ended up being two hours and was incredibly perfect for all of us – some of who this was a first experience for. Without going into too much detail about it, it was extremely powerful for everyone in their own ways and for me, it was an experience of literal shift in embodiment being reflected that I had felt, but now absolutely knew.

All I’ll say is that this was the first time I did not experience tears of any kind. I usually am either moved by some kind of healing release or overwhelmingly beautiful immensity that just has to flow through. And now, on my 50th, I was in a transmutational or alchemizing space – a third point or trinity that merges and is all of it and none of it. I had many visions and journeys of which I won’t go into, but with each resounding gong, in between the crystal bowls and other instruments, that penetrated to our depths louder and louder, my aura kept increasing into everything and I vibrated so large that I felt if the gong kept going I would likely no longer have a body to return to. And still, there wasn’t tears…simply accelerated vibration.

After the sound healing, people mentioned how powerful the gong had been and our facilitator said the gong was louder than she’s ever played it…I said with a giggle, “I think that was in part my doing, as I wanted it not to stop and to keep increasing.” I also received that the Cosmic presences who were surrounding this birthday ceremony had channeled through her the necessary vibrational frequency from beyond to assist my transition.

The sound healing ended with a beautiful sacred cacao ceremony made from first generation beans she brought with her on her travels back to Tahoe and that she added cinnamon she blessed the night before to. I had mine as is, only adding cayenne to fire things up, but she had an array of ingredients for others in case they wanted something different.

We ended with a circle blessing and each person got to state their name and a word or phrase that encapsulated what they felt or experienced from the ceremony.

Mine was, “expansive.”

If all I shared so far was it for my birthday, it would have been full closure perfection, but we did end up with more experiences and days of fun, wonder, flow, wild cards, and peaceful potency to come.

While the sound healing had been taking place, the calm day turned into the next snow storm, as if the weather increased with the increasing vibrations of the gongs. So, as we made our way to a delicious and grounding lunch to seal the ceremony in, snow continued to fall…feeling like faeries dancing all around with me on my birthday.

We enjoyed an incredible vegan Mexican fiesta, which had been my choice for a birthday meal and I got surprised with another vegan cake brought all the way from Berkeley. At lunch after birthday singing and candle blowing, our friend’s mom (another powerful facilitator herself) who joined us all the way from Germany asked me what I intended for this new cycle, to which I answered clearly. She added, “Then, it WILL be.”

The snow came down more and we ended up getting home just as it really started to hit hard all over again.

I found it interesting that this birthday begins a number 8 year in numerology for me, and we just so happened to have 8 people (one person was unable to make it due to the storms and changes) at the ceremony including the visionary who led us. I was so grateful Dave put this all together and that he found the sound healer/energy medicine worker, as not only was it the perfect experience I would have wanted for my birthday, but she and I both sensed a connection without having to speak any details. I look forward to the development of that friendship with her that Uni has put in motion already.

The next day, the storm continued, which offered another slower paced morning and time for phone calls. Because of the loss of time at the start of Desiree’s trip, we decided an extension to her stay was in order, as we sensed there was more that needed to take place and layers still wanting to come forth. So, rather than leaving on Tuesday the 28th, she secured a flight to return home on Friday March 3rd. I’ll spare you the details of how that all went down, but let’s just say that this trip was one that would call up her full courage to say, “Yes” and initiate one of the biggest shifts of her and her family’s lives. Equally so, it supported all of us who were connected, to reset our lives in profoundly new ways and not turn back. In some cases, literal doors were permanently closed, and only the open horizon ahead was found on the map of adventures to navigate.

No longer could old patterns and ways run the show. We would move into a new way of alignment where trust and courage of the heart would be the guiding forces.

We decided to immerse in the snow that day and did a big snow shoe at the very top of the mountain, which was invigorating and reflected that soul climb we were engaging. The newest blizzard began and we were covered in snow!

As we headed back to our car the storm increased and held us on the road for an hour, just 3 minutes from home. A truck had gotten stuck and needed to chain up, but we embraced the time, shared snacks, and it felt like it flew by. That evening was filled with crystal activations and Astrid getting in on all of it!

The next day, the storm continued (blizzard conditions were the name of the game since Friday) – yep my birthday storm was trying to match the energy of the big 50! On this day we decided to just jump into the back forest energies and stay home-based.

That didn’t come without faery fun though and fiery-forging-ahead-energies! Blizzarding away, the landscape was saturated with deep powder, so we took turns leading the way and breaking tracks since no one else was embracing the adventure.

Snow angels, giggles, and a lot of sweat later, we returned to find the house continuing to be engulfed in snow.

Just look at the mounds and the giant icicle I took down, as it reminded me energetically of Thor’s Hammer or a giant scepter fashioned by the ice faeries for the wizards of the forest. We would prevail, no matter the amount of challenges and unexpected twists and turns thrown our way!

And we arrived at March 1st, when the storm broke, gracing us with the next 3 days of calm and sunshine peeking its head back through, as is Tahoe’s signature vibration. It was decided that a journey back to my family’s house was in order, as there was important work to be done there. So, with sunshine on our sides and the storm elementals clearing the sky, I drove Desiree and myself slowly down the mountain to receive the next phase (Dave needed to stay homebound due to a procedure the next morning). We even got to see the wild mustangs and three giant red tailed hawks, which foreshadowed an energy connection we’d learn about that day.

I’m glad we did get the chance to go down, as the experiences that took place there were written in soul contracts and the stars that were confirmed in that night’s dreams. It made sense why this gathering had been rearranged, as there wouldn’t have been time previously for what this day had in store. This included a three hour Astrology, Tarot and energy reading from my brother for Desiree, which I supported and some powerful exchanges between her and my mom (especially) and dad. My parents also supplied us more yummies with another vegan lunch and homemade dessert.

The work Desiree is doing is an example of the power each individual has to affect the paradigm shifts collectively, as one moves through the core energy dynamics we’re in process of shifting – first mending duality and then creating the new and beyond together. Therefore, supporting one another is invaluable, as it has far-reaching effects. And the shifts each person makes, supports the shifts possible for others, relative to their journey.

With each liberated movement, a new possibility is created for others to step into and so on and so forth. I, personally, feel the release take place every time I learn of and observe others moving the energy in some way. Therefore, I celebrate each achievement and deepen my gratitude for the bravery others demonstrate because it helps me to also gain greater clarity and access on how to create what’s never been created before.

It also reiterates to me the value and power of keeping to the path I feel guided to, regardless of what’s going on around me or how out of place it may look or seem to others – also despite any curve balls thrown. I love and honor when others step into their power and next cycle – relative to their path – as it frees me and others to no longer hold that space – it’s a domino effect in all directions. Beautiful and powerful stuff!

The amount of small and big signs and confirmations along the way of our week together was beyond belief and way too much to detail here. Some of it too personal to share, but even without doing, everyone’s experiences, processes, and breakthroughs are shared collectively.

Thursday, the 2nd was our last full day together and after picking up Dave from his appointment, we met up with our good friend and wedding officiate for a vegan pizza extravaganza (shared 3 pizzas in fact!), followed by a gorgeous, long snow shoe by the lake, and ending with braving his unplowed neighborhood to share time and love with his sweet, elderly dog.

There were so many memorable and belly-laugh moments to that day, which included a literal Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride to get up Reid’s street. I’m not kidding. Cocooned by nearly 15 foot high snow walls, our car “Ruby” with Dave at the helm careened through the thick snow beneath her as we all held on with exhilaration.

It was a perfect reflection of and insight to current roads we’re all traveling and navigating.

On our way back home Dave got the idea to top the week off with something different and so we headed to one of the local casinos near our home to sample the specialty vegan menu at Hell’s Kitchen. We had no reservations on this full night, but divine timing snagged us three seats at the perimeter bar looking in on the restaurant, which ended up better than being inside for talking and feeling more spacious.

And what a send-off that meal was, as we sampled several dishes and enjoyed the most incredible non-alcoholic beverage ever.

Casinos are so wildly different and outside of our norm, which made this even more of a fun dip-in and way to work the under and hidden energies. Dave surprised us with giving us each a little play money ($10 each) for the slot machines, just for kicks and giggles. So, we went about finding the perfect machines, which wasn’t hard, as we were led to three that held the perfect energy that mirrored us individually and together.

I settled on the Mayan temple energy for my round and what a round it was! We were cheering, laughing, dancing, and roaring out loud as we watched the wheels turn and light up, with win after win! I and we had no idea how to play these, nor understood what the heck was happening, but literally within 30 seconds of playing, it all catapulted into my turning $10 into just cents from $60 by the end of a few minutes – that’s $50 of winning for my big 50th birthday. Not any huge win by far, but being just a coin machine, my first try, and just minutes of playing, it all felt too perfectly aligned and wildly exciting! It made sense it would happen here with my Mayan connection. As soon as I won what seemed the perfect amount, I cashed it out immediately and to top it off, as I printed the receipt I received a papercut. We all laughed more saying it was my “blood sacrifice” for it all. LOL!

This was Desiree’s first time ever to be in a casino, alongside her first time ever solo trip, so she got a huge kick out of it all, playing a bit too, and sending fun photos to her husband to share the experience.

She won a little too and Dave told us he wanted us to split the winnings and keep it – his intention all along. He wanted Desiree to have some extra money for a good breakfast the next day on her travels home and me to have some wallet cash. Very thoughtful and sweet on his part and his intention was honored – oh Uni! Dave’s always working his magick too.

The next morning we woke way before sunrise, leaving the house at 3:40 am to get Desiree to her flight. This was the last storm-free day, so it made the journey safe and easy as we wound our way through the mountain and valley. And off she went, beginning what would be another epic day of travels with even more twists and turns at the back-end. Without detailing it, let’s just say her two-day journey ended with a powerful and beautiful bang even with the yet-again-crazy curve balls, because it was all divinely laid out for her to just go with the flow, trust, and invoke her empowerment through.

And on my way home through the still-darkness of our street, ONCE AGAIN, there were 2 coyotes that crossed in front of me and then jumped off into the forest – incredible and full circle. I slipped myself back into bed at just after 6 am and dreamed away until waking to another snow storm and blizzard coming through. Oh the timing of it all!

There were a lot of firsts over the course of my birthday week for everyone and more than I’m sharing here that took place and got activated. It was a beautiful start to my new cycle and although everything ended up being a day-to-day unfolding of our going with the flow of the energy each moment, it was perfect.

I can’t thank everyone enough, both near and far, who was a part of the beautiful and supportive energy of this special celebration with me. I love you beyond measure! An extra load of gratitude to Desiree for coming all the way she did just for me and for going all the way with her own courageous embrace of her path for herself, her family, and for us all!

I was going to post this on the day of the Full Moon – yesterday – but I’m glad I waited because an impromptu ski morning took things to the next level that day that I wanted to celebrate with you. And I’ll save this for another time maybe, but I actually now have a full helmet of magickal stickers that I completed right after my birthday – perhaps their energy has lent to the following unfolding.

As you already know from my shares, this year we’ve had an epic Winter, the snow has been epic – the best I’ve ever skied, I had an epic breakthrough right before my birthday with skiing my truly first black diamond run on my own, and then on the Full Moon following my birthday week, things continued explosive for my skiing indeed (thanks Laura for that word – you’ll understand what I mean by that at the end of this post). 

Yesterday – my 41st ski day of this season – was the first day I actually felt like a real skier, although this season has been my biggest growth as far as skiing goes, taking me leaps and bounds past where I’ve been previously. With snow conditions on all time high and me feeling great, I went next-level expansive – for me. My skiing was the best I’ve experienced – strong, confident, flowing, and then I decided to do an advanced blue run that wasn’t groomed, although I didn’t understand just how not groomed it was until I was on it. It had thick powder and the biggest moguls I’ve been down for the whole first half to two-thirds of the way, which turned it into feeling like a black diamond. In the past I would never have even considered it and the few times I accidentally found myself on runs where smaller versions of this were, I was frozen with fear and struggled severely to get down.

The difference on March 7th’s Full Moon was that I had no fear, not even a racing heart like I did on the black diamond run, I knew somehow I could manage it, and I trusted. I just kept moving forward, stayed focused, and navigated the most aligned path, even though everyone before me, around me, and behind me was falling down due to catching their skis.

Those two things were the big breakthrough realizations for me – 1. That I chose this path on my own without fear and 2. That I got down it without incident, when other seasoned skiers kept falling – what?!

Actually, two men were talking about the run as I got to the top and was eyeing it. I heard them talk about how it hadn’t been groomed and looked pretty messy with a lot of moguls. They hesitated, but then went. I followed shortly after, but one of the men fell nearly immediately. I felt bad for him, as I went by and made sure he was alright. He got up as I continued and I heard him fall again with discouragement. A few others were down, too, not far from him. I didn’t know how I was doing it, but I was continuing to flow down, feeling strong, anchored, and one with the snow and mountain even though it was steep, deep, and bumpy (that’s what moguls are). I turned around a couple of times as I continued down and the others were still struggling, which made me feel for them, as I know how I’ve felt in the past.

I couldn’t believe it and yet I could. My Cappy was truly activated and I felt strong and resilient and celebrated hugely inside for the growth that had manifested. I kept saying out loud how grateful I was and how proud I was of myself. I never thought I’d be at this point and yet here I was. No expectations. Just embracing my own pace, perseverance, and repatterning, step-by-step. It was truly incredible for me to experience and means more to me since I know my journey with this.

For me, my North Node energy has come first through my physical accomplishments, as that’s where it resides in terms of my astrological birth chart. And from here, the rest of its reach will continue to trickle out with each step I take in those other directions too.

And so the tone of this new cycle anchors, showing me once again what is possible even when you have no idea how. This biggie birthday was truly just that and more! Many of the ways are not something I can explain or feel driven to even if I could. 

I wanted to add a note here about an unusual sighting of a mouse that took place on the mountain, as it spoke to more powerful messaging I feel can be a take-away. As we were on a ski lift up, I noticed a skier below us and a little creature running around his skis where he stopped. Dave saw it too and I said, “oh my gosh, it’s a mouse!” We were both in awe seeing this little one dash out onto the snow and move about near the skier who stopped and was being careful not to hurt him. Such an odd sighting out in the day on the thick snow, but obviously meant for the three of us to see him. This was the second time I was seeing a mouse recently, as one had run across the highway one night when I went to pick up Dave from the airport recently too.

This little one appearing on the snow in daylight spoke to me of having heightened awareness and sharp senses, presence, adapting to change on the way (messenger of change), observing and considering one’s surroundings in order to navigate with greater alignment, and the hidden being revealed. This little one wanted to be seen and his deliberate timing was also his potent message.

Someone else who loves to reveal messages and adapt to change in deliberate ways, is Astrid.

As you can see, she currently dawns a new symbol on her shape shifting fur – a circle that mirrors this Full Moon.

Astrid has been doing a lot of work behind the scenes, assisted Desiree with her shifts, and has been doing tons of collective crystal energy work. In fact, she’s been calling in and directing me to important crystal beings she/we need and even ones we’ve offered and still may offer. It’s an honor to cocreate with her. What a gift this has all been and that every day continues to unwrap in mysterious ways.

And if you’ve made it this far with me, I’m grateful to you for sticking there through all that is unfolding in the world, your own challenges and breakthrough experiences, and coming along for the ride with me, Astrid, and the collective at large during epic times indeed. We are weaving the tapestry with each of our threads and the more our individual lights shine, the more creative potential we open up for us to manifest.

Where ever you are and what ever you are feeling called to bring and sing through your heart, that path you navigate is the course worth following.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you really are” — Carl Jung

This was a longer update since I’m posting more sporadically these days and since I am focused on my own movement of energy within the collective – our individual pieces are ever-more integral to the whole. If all goes as planned, I’ll be away on an extended birthday celebration vacation in about a week, so I’m not sure when the next touch-in will be. Although March is a potent month collectively, it’s a quieter one on my end. Many life changes are brewing behind the scenes.

Keep an eye out on the Creations & Crystals Closet, as there just might be new additions when you least expect it. For now there are 8 pieces remaining, which include an array of wearable crystals and potent spirit animal messengers that make invoking energy easy and magickal through daily adornments – I’m surprised some are still there, as I sense their people have made a connection. All in divine timing indeed. As always, payment plans available and reserving is an option too.

And last, I’m including cosmic faery sister Laura’s video update about yesterday’s Virgo Full Moon because of how it underscores some themes I highlighted and speaks to current energies we’re navigating our parts in. We always have synchronous messages pop through even without conversing about it. In this case, “breakthroughs” and the “Moon Tarot card symbolism” were big standouts, but also how she describes this Full Moon as “explosive” and I’m tuning in with “epic”. Moon energies are felt in the days leading up and also the ones following. I listened to her video while finishing the last part of this post and kept laughing each time a word popped up that I’d already written and especially giggled when she said faery at the same time I wrote that word. She shared a giggle with me when I told her this too, as we always mirror or compliment each other. Some other little synchronous hits popped through, too, as you’ll see.

Hope these shares are helpful during these times we’re navigating together. Big love from Astrid and me!!

March Energy Update with Lee ~ Allow Love In

Happy March! While I’m not back online yet due to this full birthday week still continuing, I wanted to share Lee’s new Energy Update. That way you can get a jump start on the month’s energy since there’s a lot going on.

I did manage to get out packages from the Buds A-Blooming Birthday Bash 2/22 Crystal Offering on March 1st as hoped (all packages went out with a golden rose from my 50th birthday flower decorations so generously gifted by my mom). There’s 9 offerings of 22 remaining at the link above. Thank you so much for all the love showered on these beauties. I can’t wait for you to receive them.

I’ll be back shortly with a little touch-in update. Until then, I love the ending message from Lee, “Allow Love In.”

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