Monthly Archives: June 2019
I thought I’d hop on briefly after being away from blogging the last ten days, just to share some of the beauty, special moments, and reflections I’ve experienced during this time. Maybe you’ve felt similar things or this little burst of nature’s inspiration may be exactly the breath of fresh air for you right now. In any event, I hope that you had a beautiful Summer Solstice, however you chose to welcome it in.
I’m still spending most of my time within the inner landscapes, but that is reflected in an increased deepening with nature and immersing even more in her realm.
This mirrors the time we lived in the Magick Bus exploring nature and National Parks for nearly a year and a half when life called me in a new direction. It’s only now that I’m getting what it all meant and where the embodiment of that change was leading.
It’s almost been like getting my feet wet again in body, from what was a resurrection of sorts from the waters of life – actually most literally. I have needed the last couple of years to reacquaint myself with things from a new perspective, which has had me dipping in and out of some things from before, tried out in the now.
Some clothes just haven’t fit, either feeling too tight or too loose – meaning they were still too tied in with the past and the energy I had completed, or they were so new that I wasn’t sure how I felt about them and hence all the extra room to explore.
It’s been a time of allowing what ever wants to move through, letting go of to-do’s, and softening the reflections so that even my process with things doesn’t mirror how I used to process stuff. Life is a soft and gentle focus now. In this way, not only will what ever the new is that comes through be different than before, but the journey will be too.
I find it important for me that nothing mirrors the past, although can weave in the possibilities it held.
It still feels very fresh and I’m only beginning to immerse, as last week was more about the surrender, continued nurturing, and letting nature guide me.
So, with Solstice ringing in Summer, there’s been a ton of outdoor activity. It started Wednesday of last week while we explored a new hike to Cascade Falls – a shorter one, but climbs technically quite a bit. That felt invigorating and perfect for allowing the flow just like the gushes of water cascading down the mountain. Both the climb and the being with the water were perfect metaphors for things.
That same day we went to Baldwin Beach – another new beach for us. There, a mother duck and her seven ducklings visited and after they explored the higher activity of people down a ways from us, they came to rest in peace in front of our umbrella. Another beautiful reflection.
Thursday was a very special day – the two year anniversary of Astrid’s coming home to me at the gateway of Solstice. That’s what these first three photos celebrate. Since Astrid is such a huge part of this new life journey for me, I felt it important to capture some beautiful moments between us in the forest portal backyard of our house.
She was a surprise to me, but as I navigate this next part of my life, Astrid is my greatest guide. Where I have no example for the new I reinvent, she emulates the potential I most admire.
I love this photo below where she and I look merged as one – almost creating a Yin/Yang effect in how her body curves into mine.
Solstice is a very special time of the year for me ever since three years ago my beloved bunny, Joy, transitioned through its portal on that day in a place very dear to me – Montana. She and Astrid came from the same rabbit rescue and I feel that their entering and exiting at this gateway is significant.
The Mayans celebrated Solstice for spiritual initiation and change, creating ceremony to be in harmony with the Earth and Cosmic energies.
I remember the words from my dear shaman friend Amaru in Peru, “Nokan Inti Kani” – meaning “I am the Sun.”
Solstice extends an invitation to join the Sun’s energy and connect with your Higher Self, follow inspiration and dreams, and tune inside to the alchemy of “as within, so without.”
I find nature to be that gateway for me, as are my rabbit companions, and the Cosmos.
The Solstice gateway gifted me this beautiful golden hawk feather that I’m so grateful for.
So every day since Wednesday, nature time increased with tons of mountain biking, hiking, and beach time, as well as late afternoon/evening gardening time upon returning home from the physical activity.
To say I slept well is an understatement, as the deepening into body and moving a lot of energy in a grounding way was both nourishing and took me through cycles of decharge and recharge.
Solstice saw us in Squaw Valley where I enjoyed an intentional walk in the gorgeous meadows by myself anchoring in that new while Dave enjoyed his last day of skiing on the first day of Summer. You’ll see photos below of how beautiful this area is, reminding me of both the Swiss Alps (where I haven’t yet been, but seen photos of) and adored Iceland, as well as my favorite spots in Montana.
Seventeen miles of biking along the Truckee River that day was a way to move the energy and flow like the river.
Twenty two miles of biking the next day continued moving that energy along more gorgeous vistas.
All the while during each ride, allowing visions, thoughts, and feelings to flow, as my body did the integrating.
Two back-to-back hikes to different lakes Sunday followed by a vegan potluck picnic provided continued anchoring and as I said, each day I’d come home and plop myself in the garden planting perennials to create a low maintenance, inspiring, and beautiful backdrop that blends wild with a little intention.
I promised the Faeries of the land many things when moving here and I’m happy to create a special sanctuary for them to play in.
I’ll share more of the front and side gardens, as things blossom, but for now here are my beautiful Portulaca blooms that I adore!
The forest out back is in early stages of bloom, but as you can see they are already creating a welcome carpet to our home for the Faeries.
I just love how the wildflowers are blooming with joy everywhere – and it’s just the beginning. They feel like a love spell on my heart.
And as you can see from the below photos of Squaw Valley meadows, the Truckee River, and Cascade Falls, there’s been an abundance of inspiration all around from Mother Earth – the best nurturer there is.
As mentioned, I’m just beginning to immerse into a new realm of exploration within, so all of these good nature vibes are very nurturing to the vulnerable parts feeling safe to come through.
Because I feel that I haven’t much example to draw upon for that new, I feel nature provides me the best template and reflection for the journey.
Cultivating the garden is also very supportive, as my heart guides its creation in reflection of me as well – mostly wild, with woven threads of cultivated pockets that create synergy and harmony.
This last Wednesday I went to my third meditation group meeting that ended in a lovely picnic dinner at the beach with everyone who joined, however I feel it will likely be my last time going (at least for now) because I’m clear my work at home is more aligned for me at this time. I did leave the group with a few book recommendations to help with the “self love” topic, so they at least have some tools for any exploration they may decide to embark on past this month’s theme.
I feel called to explore on my own for now, dipping in and out when the moment calls.
The good news is (at least to me), I feel like I’m in greater alignment with the new path I’m creating than I was before. Remember I mentioned those clothes that felt too tight or too big and loose?
Energetically the ones that felt too big are now taking root and feeling more like home.
And on the literal, tangible level, the continued cleansing of, and weeding through, my closet leaves me with what feels to be the perfect essence of a place I now feel comfortable in heading to.
What’s fascinating is that the five Portal Paintings that found their new home, only just departed from Nevada on the Solstice – Yes! The Solstice of all days! Talk about divine alignment. Even though I dropped them off a week and a half earlier, they didn’t get crated and shipped out until then and so that also feels reflective of this anchoring in and clarity beginning.
The whole wild journey to get them to that point has mirrored so much of the changes I’m going through.
I’m excited for them to arrive in their new home across the country in Athens, Georgia with their amazing co-guardian where they will be open to anyone who wants to visit and meditate/work with them. This new home is being created into a form of a mini healing center welcome to people wanting to immerse in a conscious journey. As things evolve with that, I’ll keep you posted. It’s a way that people can experience them and more, and if at some point they are ready to journey on, they will be available via that portal.
I leave you now to return to my garden so I can complete the last planting I didn’t get a chance to finish yet. It feels integral to the next phase beginning.
What I love is that although the future is unknown and the vision is yet to be seen of how things look, the journey is so much more gentle and peaceful. There are those ebbs and flows, but it’s all naturally unfolding if I listen, allow, honor, and observe.
Do you experience reflections in your life that mirror the changes you’re going through?
My guess is we all do and if we stop to observe things, we’ll see it and make those connections.
If not, how might you create intention around something – like a project, gardening, etc. – to embody the potential you’re being guided to?
It will be interesting to see where the journey leads all of us.
I’ll keep this post short and sweet by kicking off with thanking those of you who joined in on the New Moon Gratitude Giveaway. Because of a busy week, it took me a while to go through the lists from people who decided to see it all the way through with me and us. I hadn’t had opportunity until this morning to go through things and post the recipients of the four gifts I promised as a way of honoring your commitment.
The four people in no particular order are:
I’ll be contacting each of you to get your gifts out. I was truly moved by the experiences you had with this and how meaningful you found it to be. I honor each of you for doing this challenging work.
This last week has been both full and full circle for me. It has solidified some things and put others into motion. Wednesday through Friday were particularly shifting, as well as a bit exhausting, yet pivotal clarity came as to a phase I chose three years ago.
I had only snippets of what it meant, but am understanding more what is in alignment with it. It’s a new phase that hasn’t an example to reflect for me, so it will be both a challenge and adventure to reinvent things.
It is because of this that the regular Ask Astrid Fridays blog didn’t come in yesterday and because of things she and I are committing to working on together, we’ll be taking at least the next week off from any blogging as well.
Depending on how much we move through, will depend on how the next week looks, but I at least want one full week to dive in deep so that I can get a handle on and anchor in a new experience we’re reinventing.
Once it feels to be in motion, I’ll be better able to schedule in other things.
This feels supportive also to my being very inward these days and needing more space for myself.
Thursday is a big day for the two of us leading into Summer Solstice on Friday. This is a special time and sacred portal that feels especially supportive for igniting what we’re focusing on right now.
We hope it will be a beautiful doorway for your light as well.
Thank you again to everyone who delved into the self gratitude and giving in the way that felt right for you. I hope you’ll continue to implement this into your life to become a natural part of living.
Yesterday marked the end of our eight day journey into self-gratitude and I heard from people how challenging it had been, but also what a gift it was so far – igniting the very key they felt they had neglected. Remember that if you did officially participate and want to be part of the giveaway and accountability, please send in your shares by end of today, Tuesday June 11th.
A reminder on the guidelines can be found here:
We had far less people participating with this challenge than the general Gratitude Challenge, as it was tough and not something people felt as comfortable with. That’s exactly why I felt to put it out there.
But we did have a great group, both officially and unofficially joining, as well as some people that joined mid-way who hadn’t seen the challenge until it had already begun. They really resonated and decided to incorporate it into their lives and begin it from the day they became aware of it.
We’ll see how many actually do send me their shares, but in any case, I want to say thank you to anyone who did join in whatever way you felt called or able to, and who felt the value in this.
It was interesting to me that at the same time, the local meditation group here had decided to have “self love” as their monthly theme, but in the first day of the month’s gathering so many continued to voice being challenged by it and having difficulty in finding clarity between self love and ego or narcissism. Teachings out there even help support this idea with spiritual bypassing or tricky definitions that make it hard to get to the core by keeping you running in circles around yourself.
And then there’s the mind that is really good at analyzing and dissecting, keeping people in intellectualizing mode, rather than going into the abstract feelings that simply want to be acknowledged and felt.
In some cases it simply revealed itself as a concept a lot of people hadn’t really explored and journeyed in depth, although had heard about it, and in most cases people didn’t know where to begin or what to do in order to get into the emotions beyond the mental thoughts and concepts.
I could understand why and also saw the connection this has to disconnect we experience with others, global issues, our emotions, and so much more.
I decided to join this even though I have and do a lot of inner work, because cycles in life reveal layers and being at another key point of change that has brought new things to surface, I have been feeling deeply within and implementing new approaches.
I found my list to have some wonderful insights about myself that I don’t daily think of as gifts, as well as experienced a lot of sweetness and softness in how I was relating to myself simply by acknowledging some tender parts of me.
I also noticed that during this time period I experienced more possibility stream in (perhaps as reflection of seeing more of myself), my days relaxed more and I ended them earlier in terms of “doing” things (perhaps as reflection of making more space for me), and I experienced others around me opening more too and having new experiences even though they weren’t doing this with me (as within, so without).
In general, an even greater experience of alignment seems to be in motion.
I’m curious to hear what others have experienced.
I’m still sitting with everything and in process of implementing changes that have come through during this time, but I do feel grateful I did this and am curious where things will go from here.
So much of what Astrid and I have been experiencing the past couple of weeks is an increased level of presence and pause – not altogether slamming on the breaks and stopping, but a deliberate slowing and gentle motion forward, clearing for clarity, while also being ultra open. Astrid would say it’s more of a “paws” – kind of like when she stops to clean her face with her two front paws, as you often see rabbits and other small creatures do where they sit on their back legs and lick their paws and rub their face, eyes, head, and run their ears through their sweet furry hands.
She’s still in motion, grooming, clearing, and giving herself almost like an aura cleanse, but she hasn’t altogether stopped moving even though she’s anchored to the ground on her big hind thumpers. And once she feels complete with one round of grooming in motion, I notice how she will sit very intentionally with nose moving rapidly and all of this information flowing through her and beaming out of her eyes. She may then move on to the next round of grooming.
She’s in process and it’s almost like a meditation if you watch a rabbit do this. It’s very soothing and this fluid motion is incredibly adorable as well.
So, in a way I’m “pawsing” along with her, continuing to move forward, but only in cue to the energy vibrations I feel pulsing through. Each step keeps leading me to the next and rather than stop the movement, I just hit the paws button and do more clearing, clarifying, and allowing, which has been incredibly interesting to see how ideas are gushing in with new possibility that wasn’t on my radar.
I’ve found this “zone” much like Astrid’s meditational grooming, where I feel like I continue to ride the energy currents with matching my vibration, and don’t have to create these separate compartments to everything where I start this, stop that, need to completely hault or walk away, or feel forced to make a choice. I just keep myself in a rhythm of openness without attachment and this creates the feeling of riding a current.
I bring it throughout everything and is kind of like how I’ve explained my life to be more like a walking meditation.
Decisions and steps are also becoming a more fluid journey as well.
It’s almost like being a leaf on a stream.
Sometimes I might float faster. Other times things slow down. Sometimes I might ride over some wild mini rapids through rocks or go from a wide part of the stream to a very narrow funnel head, until I’m popped out the other end.
I may even get caught in a breeze or mini whirlpool that gently circles me about in what seems like one place.
But never do I completely stop unless I decide to anchor at shore along the journey and try my feet out on land for a bit to explore a destination of choice, until I decide to get back on my leaf and continue along the stream of life.
All the while I continue moving.
So there is a new kind of pause I’m feeling and it involves more of a “yes, and….” response.
Meaning, “yes that could work and so could this,” or “yes that feels possible and wow there’s this too.” So I explore each thing and stay open, which suddenly brings in a new wave to flow on. Each builds upon the other, but there’s an invitation to creativity and imagination for opening another level of possibility that could offer more expansiveness and take me down a new part of the stream that has more potential destinations along the shore of life.
It’s not that I won’t arrive at a choice, but I’m providing a wider playing field for potential and not seeing something as a dead end or a clear “no way.” I’m also not having to stop and stick my oar into the bottom of the stream to try to latch on to something desperately.
It’s curiosity meets presence and vibrationally keeping aligned with the stream.
I don’t know if it makes sense what I’m trying to put an experience of into words, but there you go.
Water is amorphous and so I am becoming more so I guess.
So, Astrid and I have been on “paws” while we fluidly groom life right now. We’re taking in each morsel and flowing along the frequency until it morphs into something else.
This right now has felt more important than trying to get off at a destination of choice, although some energy currents have led us eventually to choices, as they are mini journeys within the whole.
Others, have much more expansive effects and reach, so these ones we do the “paws” on to clear and cleanse, while inviting in a greater part of our imagination.
It’s a much more enjoyable ride now because of remaining open without need to control and stop the process.
And it truly wasn’t until today’s share, that I’ve reflected on trying to explain a process that has now become my natural.
It’s like that with everything truly.
At first things could seem like retraining yourself or looking at all of the parts, but then they become the natural you.
Lately I’m seeing that there really isn’t work involved and things fall into that natural rhythm simply by remaining open to what is wanting through.
There’s a lot of wisdom in the “paws.”
Astrid’s nose twitches in agreement.