Monthly Archives: May 2022
A recent dream is the prompt to this blog share today, as it made me recall how white owl has visited before, which included a time when potent white animal and heightened cosmic experiences were unfolding in my life. The dream feels to also have a collective message woven in, just as I felt the previous experience had, but also in part seems to be reiterating the theme from then as well because the now is more its time to be heard.
The part of the dream I’m sharing took place on the large, sprawling grounds of some kind of establishment that felt both indoors and outdoors and had an odd Twilight Zone kind of feel to it. I was walking the grounds filled with trees at what felt like night time, since it was dark. I then began to see tiny glowing lights in the trees and when I blinked to see more clearly I noticed that they were in fact shining pairs of eyes laced throughout the limbs of the trees. There were at least half a dozen or more pairs to each tree, multiplying out to hundreds, and I knew immediately that they were owls. Then, it was like I turned on the light and it was either daylight or bright light and I could now see what the eyes were connected to, revealing variations of white owls (snowy, barn, barred, etc. but all white) all looking down at me from the trees. I noticed that laced between the owls were a few exotic birds with rainbow colored feathers. An ethereal, enchanting, and cosmically mysterious energy pervaded. The owls and birds were much more than meets the eye. I then realized that there were big piles of feathers encircling the trunks of each tree that were both white from the owls and rainbow colored from the exotic birds. I went about gathering as many as I could before the cleanup crew got to all of them (they were on the scene already taking some away), as I felt they would just throw them away and not realize their sacredness and value…and if I didn’t get to them, they would be lost forever…this chance, that is…to receive this abundant and potent gift that was shed to reveal a purpose.
It then reminded me both of the old blog I wrote about one of my white owl vision encounters and the three special white owl feathers I have sitting on my desk in front of me.
The three white feathers you see above, with very delicate and ethereal markings, come from a rare white barn owl. They, along with several other sacred bird feathers including more from the barn owl, were gifted to me by my sweet friend and “sistar” as we call each other due to the cosmic nature of the connection, Desiree. You likely remember her from our magickal Winter Solstice last year.
I’ll share more about the connection with one of my other white owl experiences and some more around the messaging of these mystical creatures, but first I wanted to share a little around owl for myself.
While I am a woman of many animals and two of my main animal spirit guides are the rabbit and butterfly, I have a dozen or so other power animals that are with me a lot in cycles and are stand-outs for repetitive appearances. That said, the whole animal kingdom is strongly carried with me. I can recall a channeler friend of mine sharing how amazed he was by the amount of animal spirits he could see all around me, and how another reading confirmed I’ve lived more animal lives than most souls – both nothing surprising to what I know and experience.
And although my dear and magickal faery sis Laura is openly the one with owl as her totem animal, for me owls are more in the background and not overtly in your face in terms of speaking loudly to others about me. They are below the surface and just like the creatures of the night that they are, they work the other realms of my experience and support navigation of a different kind of world that lurks in the mystery, shadows, and cosmic depths. Rather than jump out all the time like rabbits for instance do for me, they punctuate heightened times of cosmic shifts and turning points.
They show up in dreamtime, feathers I find or are given, power jewelry I wear, and very potent and rare actual close encounters in person – most of the latter being great horned owl several times and a few fly-by barn owls across my driven path. And yet it is the hauntingly beautiful and extraterrestrial barn owl that strikes deep chords in my soul heart. I have always had more draw to white or nearly white owls because of the other worldly essence I feel from them.
It’s always been interesting to me that hawk and owl are strong guardians in my life – one much more visual (hawk) and the other mysteriously hidden between the layers (owl) – and show up as strong confirmation, but also as support and guidance involving both solo things and things with my rabbit familiars, despite their being predator to the prey. Hawk especially has been a protector around my rabbits when they show up in their highest spirit version.
Years back, some of the dots of this shadowy owl connection came more to light when a gifted reader in Sedona (one I’d touched in with several times over the years with and who recently made his transition on) expressed how alongside our both being Pisces that we also shared the same destiny numbers and similar journeys – that of the “Owl” life path. Another Sedona channeler some nearly 25 years ago shared the same.
But for purposes of this blog, I’ll just say that when owl shows up in very deliberate ways, whether in person, visions, dreams, or through feather gifts….it has heralded a change of direction in my life, more bleed through of cosmic integration and support coming in, as well as opened doorways to what used to be hidden within me to be remembered and accessed.
Now that I’ve provided a framework to the personal connection, let’s move on to the white owl message, which made me revisit my 2014 blog: Soaring Through A New Shade Of White.
So much of what I wrote about in that blog, during another profound time in my life hinging on soul choice and when we got to experience the sound chamber healing bath in the Integratron of Joshua Tree, resounds with such resonance for the now. Again, like cycling back to something that was years ahead in messaging, but now makes even more sense. The message echoes and expands, but the one owl has become many – and I can feel the presence of ancestors both on and off planet…those that are watching, supporting, and hoping along with me and so many of us.
So that you don’t have to go to that blog to read it all if you don’t want to, I’m copying and pasting in some of the parts that stand out below. It’s uncanny how so much of it also reiterates messaging from my last blog share upon return from my time away:
White symbolizes purity, cleansing, innocence, clarity, new beginnings, wholeness, truth, sacredness, enlightenment, awakening, protection, is traditionally associated with death more than black, and connected to male/yang energy.
Along with embodying all of the general owl symbolism, White Owls are also considered messengers of the gods or underworld, messengers of change and transition, appear as a sign of things to come, are guardians allowing us the ability to see with clarity past fear and illusion, to see in the “dark”, and see what is hidden to others, and can mean that you’ve attained more wisdom recently and that you’re evolving/maturing.
There are legends of the White Owl for many ancient peoples, but to the Maya it is a messenger of warning that things are far off balance in the world and change is imminent and necessary now. The need for spending time communing with Nature is not a luxury, but a must in returning things to natural harmony and to transcend the dominance of fear, damaging ego, and imbalanced male dominance.
One of the main messages of White Owl that stands out to me is that of personal evolution that she seems to herald.
Owls message change. The White Owl, sanctity.
“I lost my innocence in place of a new-found, undefined purity that is anchoring from my explorations and which I didn’t realize existed, but is even more precious and empowering to me.”
I feel like the White Owl is a reflection of a deep, subtle, but most essence part within me that is voicing itself and wants a voice. It feels to be an inner knowing, something I’ve hidden from myself but no longer is contained out of fear, is being freed and released. She also feels to reflect the inner perception I blocked as a child, but is now being welcomed despite how raw, dramatic, and clear the truths I see are and this has increased my ability to smell out any subtle form of deception or manipulation, conscious or unconscious.
I think she mirrors that silent observer I’ve mentioned becoming more and more of these days, who is highly engaged and present, but does so through energetic embodiment. (Wow, if you read my last blog. It’s almost as if I wrote that, and truly this whole message, for the current me…perhaps my vision then was a window into my future self/now)
The White Owl that is present within seems to also bring news of something to come that is in process of actualizing, reminding me/us to trust our intuition, and is there to help us learn about ourselves in the deepest sense. Awareness and openness to the message without fear is the best approach, as Owls are magickal, protective, way-shower beings (some connected to extraterrestrials) that can help us to navigate the “winds of change” and to remember we are the ones we’ve been waiting for. (Side note: it’s been extra windy the last few days here)
White Owl also represents an ability to see past deceit and illusion, providing guiding support during confusing times. When they appear, they bestow an ability to see beyond what others perceive and to see the things usually hidden to others, and ourselves, which includes the true motives people have.
Since Owls see in the dark, the White Owl brings a piercing illumination that can only be experienced if one has merged with the darkness to such a degree that you gain a totally new perspective that is spiritually endowed.
Definitely a period of greater maturity that feels to have taken root in my life and is anchoring the power and greater stability of “emotional intelligence” or “emotional wisdom” that has been a lifelong cultivation.
White Owls have also been known to guide people from life to the otherworld. Traditionally, Owls are messengers of physical death, but also symbolic of major and important life transitions and change that are currently happening or about to happen.
And this does not feel exclusive to me either, but collectively we are in the midst of something new and the kind of change that will take place through intentional, creative action.
Since symbols are not solely personal, but also impersonal and collective, Owls offer us insight about the experiences of transition at hand or that are needed. This could mean personal transformation, but since all things are connected, it is tied into collective transformation.
So their presence assists us in being actively, co-creatively, and presently engaged with the process, rather than having things happen to us.
There is a definite presence of creative potency soaring through, I sense.
While white may be one half of duality, it, like black, also feels to be like a blank slate from which to create from when one has cycled back to reclaim what they symbolize, but from a new perspective.
When we forged ahead with our desire for spiritual enlightenment, we left behind parts of ourselves that we didn’t want to face, denied or hid from ourselves, or that we weren’t capable of working with then. Yet, in order to move beyond things currently, these need to be addressed and are the very things we keep seeing/feeling as harsh realities around that affect us deeply.
A new white is needed…A new black as well. And from our exploration of them fully, we will be able to realize the value within them both, and how we can utilize their fundamental empowered ingredients to create the new alchemy necessary to transmute to what’s available next.
I am feeling how I’m able to bring in and continue integrating the productive aspects of the white/yang/Sacred Male into the black/yin/Sacred Female now to hone in on their powers in partnership and reverence of one another. All of this white showing up, to me, is signifying this transmutation taking place.
It may appear to others as the “same” white, and yet it is not at all. It’s kind of like the Fool Tarot Card who “appears” as the Fool to most, and yet is quite something else instead. That is the ironic joke, as he/she is and is not the Fool at all, depending on the perspective.
When I was a little girl, it was white horses that first drew me. Then they became black for a greater portion of my life. And recently I’ve journeyed to white again, but it is from this new perspective of revisiting and reclaiming that which I left behind, in order to embody my wholeness and most authentic power. This comes from having ALL of our parts present and honored.
This white is not the white of before, but a transmuted white that takes the old and is alchemically creating something new. And as it transmutates with the new black, there are limitless, empowered shades one is able to explore from detached perspective and boundless things one can create.
But it is in the clear energy that we will recognize all of this. Be able to be in any of it, but not of it. Move in and out. Experience and explore. And do it all without attachment, and the most unconditionally loving energy we have yet to know.
In essence, the things we create will be of both and neither white or black, embodying the most potent, clear, diamond essence energy in their harmonious merging.
Do you feel the call to something more…something expansive and don’t know why?
Are the voices and inner promptings becoming louder for you and getting harder to push aside?
Are you exhausted or perhaps exasperated with the way things are out there and feeling more ready to at least change your relationship to outer things while you channel energy into creating an impactful change within?
Then perhaps this is the fuel behind today’s fire for sharing my dream and recycling back to 2014’s message that I feel is even more pertinent today – perhaps written for the now, as back then things were still under the surface and didn’t feel as pressing.
I was led to this wonderful blog, written in January of this year by the incredible Chloë Rain – Founder of Explore Deeply:
Some excerpts that personally resonate and jump out to collectively highlight, in relation to the white owl connection and Chloë’s shamanic experience, include:
“As this pertains to Owl Medicine as a Messenger, different owls represent different roles as Messenger. For instance, the Snowy Owl is the Animal Spirit that is a messenger who is responsible for carrying wisdom from the Elders and the human with whom the Snowy Owl resides will have the gift of channeling the words of the elders via inspired written words or intuitive channelling.
It is said that if you meditate with the owl, the answers to your questions will be revealed. Listen to the voice inside of you.…
Snowy Owl’s ability to navigate in the darkness makes her not only a master Spirit Guide for soul retrieval and the reclaiming of lost parts of the soul, but she is also the guide that helps us go into the void of the Great Mystery to call forth ancient wisdom, knowledge and secrets that have lain dormant for ages to help us remember the fullness of our being, and create the new earth.
You have to see to know. You have to know to see.…
White Owl people, are seers of divine wisdom and are said to be oracles of secret knowledge from the Elders or the Wisdom Keepers.
In fact, Owls are Medicine Messengers, and each Owl has a different medicine message. Snowy Owls, in particular are the carriers of the Wisdom from the Elders and if the Snowy Owl is your spirit guide you have the gift of channeling the words of the Elders via inspired written words or intuitive channeling.
Had I understood that channeling was a gift that had been imparted to me, and furthermore the gift of writing wisdom from beyond, not necessarily from me, but from a place of knowing, I might have felt a lot more confidence in the coming months as my life began to shift in strange and irreversible ways.
This understanding certainly would have been enlightening information for me to receive at that time… but it would not be until years had passed that I would fully understand and completely receive the medicine that came to me in that first vision ceremony.
I have learned from my teachers, the ones in this realm and the ones beyond, that nothing is conceptual, especially when it comes to animal spirits, and the messages they bring to us when they appear in our lives, and the medicine and wisdom they impart to us when they walk with us in this world.
Most often the teachers will answer your questions with very few words, and almost no explanations are given in shamanic training, because nothing is conceptual or symbolic as we experience things in Western culture.
The Maestros didn’t answer my questions about my visions of the White Owl with grand explanations. To them, it was all very clear.
The Great White Owl, had come to teach me her wisdom and be a soul companion on my path.“
As that all assimilates and digests, since I post less often I like to add some updates to the blog messages that tie in the energies weaving through my little dot on the Earth grid here.
The above and below grid collages are of two of my recent and last custom, magick wand channelings. Each of them were woven over the powerful cycles of energies last and this month – the bottom one over the New Moon Eclipse and concluding with the Beltane energies of the previous month and the top one piggy-backing initiation with the same powerful doorways, but then continuing on through the energies of the Full Moon Total Lunar Eclipse and concluded in the window leading up to this next New Moon of the 30th – tomorrow. It will actually arrive to its new guardian the 31st, fully stepping into the openings of the new cycle.
Both were intricately involved and took patience for the alignments of energies to ignite, but they felt integral to the recent shifts and expansion I have been going through, reflecting the same in each individual they were channeled for – again demonstrating how we are all connected.
As I shared with one of the wand recipients, “The weaving of the copper wire was one of the most intricately involved I’ve ever done and this felt important…just as weaving braids in one’s hair is a sacred practice that symbolizes strength, wisdom, unity, and integration…it also is a process of weaving the storyline of energies and intentions into the entire creation. Every twist, turn, cross over, interlay, etc…has purpose…and so this was a very intentional process that took great purity of focus and presence…bringing much the same to your wand. It also reminds me of our sacred spider sister and the web of life she weaves for all of creation.”
And while that was taking place, I forgot to share about my indoor Reishi mushrooms (I always type Reiki everytime I try to write Reishi – lol!) They grew beautifully – taking the longest of the three varieties – but harvest time came right before we left to Playa Del Carmen and upon return I decided to blend the mushrooms. I am using it in smoothies and have an idea for baking, which is why for now I kept it not as finely blended into a powder.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, Reishi is known as ‘The Mushroom of Immortality’ and some call it the Queen of Mushrooms or the Queen of Immortality. It has many medicinal uses and benefits to us humans who share 40% of our DNA with mushrooms. Its symbolism includes well-being, success, longevity, and divine power.
The grid collage below shares some photos of my Reishi and the journey it went through after harvesting. There was a lot more than I’m holding, as you can see in the blender, but these photos show you how beautiful and amazing it is.
And last, this yet-again-powerful Gemini New Moon tomorrow has brought a first wave of blooms in pink and violet to the garden here. Loving Nature’s choice of first colors popping in reflection to expanding heart and chakra consciousness. Out in the forest behind our house, however, it is yellow having its first dance of joy under the Sun – gotta love that solar plexus courage, joy and confident empowerment! The first forest blossoms are prolific, creating a yellow carpet like none we’ve seen so abundant before. Looking forward to the rest of the blooms to make their debut. Meanwhile, our drip system is in and the plants are happy, flourishing, and in vibrant revival mode from the May Winter setback.
Like my plants that had a short slumber, I’m coming into my own revival and feeling much more integrated back. Lots of changes upcoming, as I imagine for many of you too!
And to circle back in closure for today, to reiterate from my share above:
Since symbols are not solely personal, but also impersonal and collective, Owls offer us insight about the experiences of transition at hand or that are needed. This could mean personal transformation, but since all things are connected, it is tied into collective transformation.
So their presence assists us in being actively, co-creatively, and presently engaged with the process, rather than having things happen to us.
There is a definite presence of creative potency soaring through, I sense.
What will you create?
You may wonder what the title of this blog means, but I’ll get to that eventually, as it is the main theme for what I’m writing about today. In the meantime, please allow me to share a little about my recent experiences, some of the powerful high points with collective connections of seeded information, and how this time away has anchored a newness within, the likes of which I have yet to know until now.
These first three photos captured the subtle shifts of light energies that beamed through the portal and reflect the theme of this blog that was activated into embodiment, therefore they felt key to open this share up with so that you can also download the codes within.
I’ve been very slowly integrating back since returning home, as the energies within have spoken about creating space for what is coming through and allowing all levels mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually to recalibrate as needed. Therefore, I am only now inch-worming myself back online and after having allowed more anchoring of this new, feeling able to express some of what my experience has been like. I still feel the merging continuing to unfold, so I’m honoring the needs and feelings of that space. Although my experiences were very gentle and nurturing, they were deeply potent and it’s no wonder this has been one of the longest periods I’ve needed to myself to really anchor the new body I return home in and how that is to look and feel from here forth.
Since this is my first blog in over two weeks, its flow forth will likely be abundant in sharing.
The last nearly two months have been quite a whirlwind of events (some I’ve shared and some not) that feel like years of experiences condensed into a short period, all assisting what I can now confirm as a rewiring upgrade and greater clarity for navigating by my own compass. And as always, I can feel the potency of sharing some of this because of the collective journey we are going through together, the creative possibilities that are being woven through each of us, and how we touch one another. Some of it speaks to process and some of it to potentials. Overall, the message of hope continues to unwrap itself within the emergence of colorful, cosmic flowers in all stages of transmutational evolution. Simply put, how each of us create the journey has the ability for cross pollination across the garden of life.
I am also called to underscore that it’s not the shared words themselves that contain the information, but rather they are transmitting information as frequencies through symbols and coding that takes place in the transference between words. Photos are their own frequency stories and, therefore, these are part of the creative expression I can transmit essence through as well with you. May these windows speak the volumes that were felt in presence of their gifts.
More and more these days I’ve embraced the call to step away between things, create space for my own breath alone, ground even more, and reaffirm harmony as my cycle, as much as my well being calls for. All aspects of nature, Astrid time, birthing things with Dave, exploring new crystal friends, creative expression, and honing in on the color of my voice in the tapestry have been integral to the refresh and new emergence that is underway. It’s an intentional process in terms of if I have a motivation or inspiration, then I embrace that energy stream and put alignment of actions, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs into consistent support of that flow.
This all happens to also be in alignment with the current Mercury in retrograde energies, although my experience of this has been going in spiraling cycles that seem to get wider/deeper and wider/deeper.
To pick off where I left off before my travels, you may recall my saying that the time away would be “fully nurturing and all about pure soaking in and letting go. I’m grateful to embrace my inner goddess for a no-agenda week.” And I’m overjoyed to report that it was just that and more. Yet, I feel the reasons for this are in part due to consistent focus and willingness to keep morphing with what shows up.
Although Mercury is retrograde since May 10th (the day before we left) through beginning of June, everything from start to end for our travels was a blessing of divine alignment, flow, grace, impeccable timing, and incredible enrichment. Many more things to add to the gratitude list indeed.
I’ve written about retrogrades quite a bit in the past and I’m resharing some of that here to help bring light to a different perspective on these:
Retrogrades are a good time to complete and release things that no longer support your highest good, put to rest old “stuff”, have more patience and light-heartedness about things, take time for yourself away from it all, and slow down and be still to receive. Cleansing is a great way to utilize the energy, as is focusing on intentions you want to put out to the Universe, being more present in your life and with others, especially in terms of communication, realizing that things can get heated and meanings mixed up, so staying in your heart, listening and going within, and realizing it’s not all that serious can go a long way for you. Things can be amplified during this time, but that in no way means it has to rule your life. This is a great time to exercise self-mastery skills and work a little alchemy in your life. Put to use all that you’ve learned and you can actually ride retrogrades with greater ease and utilize its energy in very positive and productive ways. Retrogrades may seem like a hidden enemy, but I’ve found them particularly supportive. It’s all about learning the language of energy and putting to use your skills you’ve been cultivating. Retrogrades don’t mean a time to throw out all that you’ve acquired in life training to be at the mercy of a certain time of the year. Rather, it’s the perfect time to exercise a little self-mastery. This isn’t so much the time for doing, as it is for being, so all of this is done on the inner planes and if done with commitment to the process of you, you will reap the benefits of the retrograde, rather than feel controlled and beaten down by it. Keep the faith and lovingly nurture yourself and others during this time. The more you practice these things, the more you can discover how retrogrades can be powerful catapulting times.
And even if things do get a little off or feel upside down, these are the best times to be gentle with yourself and take a time out, finding the humor in things that can easily be blown out of proportion when you have a heap load of stuff talking over your own inner voice.
Contrasts are all around us, leaving it up to us to be the steady equilibrium point that can help to integrate the innate balance that is below the surface of it all.
My time away was bookended by just such dramatic contrasts in terms of extreme weather shifts and environments I found myself in. As mentioned, a surprise honeymoon presented itself to me and this took us away to Playa del Carmen, Mexico – about 45 minutes away from the more crowded Cancun scene. I’ve actually been in the Cancun area quite a bit – this being my 5th time – as well as have been to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico 3 times. More on this in a bit, but just 3 days before we were to leave there was a surprise May snow storm where we live in Lake Tahoe with below freezing temperatures at night for the consecutive days leading up to departure.
We received roughly 6-7 inches of snow by us and more at the highest mountain tops. It all warmed up after we left, but we still had a thin blanket of white seeing us off before our trip.
After being at 6600 elevation with snow and freezing nights, we went to ocean level and daily mid 80’s balmy temperatures and wet-weather-free blue skies.
Then returned back to 6600 elevation and a continuous cycling of warming and cooling fluctuations in weather again.
I wondered what it would be like returning to this area of Mexico, as the last time was about 12-13 years ago, but being that my soul lineage holds deep roots in these areas, I knew it would have profound effect.
To briefly backtrack, my Mayan connection from lives beyond this one was the portal opening for the rich discoveries and integral healing that started so much of my spiritual integration and evolution so many years ago in this life. I was led on a journey through one dot after another connecting so much of the a-ha’s for me even before I ever did any official kind of training or work with other facilitators. And in fact, my first tattoos (at least 6 I can count offhand without looking) were all Mayan symbolism and that included the very first one – a butterfly – I had etched into my skin when I moved to Sedona that I had named Maya.
Incidentally, she was a marker for my “rebirthing” after intensive inner work I took myself through all on my own.
On all of my previous trips to this area of Mexico, I had immersed myself in exploring the Mayan ruins. This time, however, the call was not to do that, but instead to explore the inner sacred temple within me.
I wasn’t sure how this would look, but once we arrived at our destination, it all seamlessly started weaving itself together. Simultaneously, this wove an atypical honeymoon experience that deepened the process in beautifully enriching ways. I and we (Dave and I) always do things that match the beat of our own drums.
I have been on many spiritual retreat and sacred journeys over the years, as well as have led quite a few, but Dave had never been a part of these both because they were before the time I knew him this life and because of his job that limited his ability to take off when I was heading out on them. His retirement supports our getting to intermingle interests and share a lot more.
Our honeymoon proved to be a shared spiritual renewal and sacred rebirthing for us both individually and together, which seeded it as a sacred journey on many layers – yet a gently powerful one in contrast to past ones and experiences I’ve been a part of. It seems that our souls knew exactly what they wanted and we simply said, “yes.” Little, also, did we know that we’d be away during the potent Scorpio Full Moon Total Lunar Eclipse. There were other powerful markers during this time and that unfolded as well, all pointing to this being quite a Cosmic line-up that was definitely not random, although consciously unplanned.
I’ll share a little about how we intuitively designed our days away to create balance and well being – something we all can do with our lives – design our way through it for optimization by listening within.
We left on May 11th and arrived at around midnight of the 12th with both flight connections all on time, every step in flow, and baggage all safely with us, as well as our luggage being first to emerge from baggage claim.
Our incredible sanctuary destination, Palmaia, was an all-inclusive, plant-based, progressive wellness, sacred ritual, and spa resort on its own secluded beach enclave nestled behind a large jungle preserve.
We stayed in the adults only tower with infinity pool and private beach area. I can’t say enough about this place and if it calls to you I hope you have the chance to experience it. We could feel the shift in energy begin the moment we set foot on the grounds.
We had no agenda, so we allowed the days to unfold as felt natural – this is how we approach life in general.
This led us to our first full day of the 12th being one of fully letting go, integrating into the energies, and luxuriating in the gift for all the senses that surrounded us.
“Luxuriating” was one of my words for this time away (and actually is one I still carry for the next chapter in life to rewrite many pasts of contrast), even before I arrived.
I felt the desire to truly release and receive in every way, without any parameters and to-do’s, nor the feeling of needing to exert myself in the way the mind would like to tell it to do, or the way I’d been conditioned over lifetimes around the ideas of service. The 12th happened to also be the 2 year anniversary of our getting our marriage license so that tied in nicely with a honeymoon celebration.
A lot of beach time was in store that day (and everyday really) and the start of a feasting extravaganza on all the vegan gourmet food to our heart’s desires, as well as a wide variety of delicious non-alocholic tropical surprise beverages for me everyday!
And what I absolutely loved and found so appropriate was the presence of so many black swallowtail butterflies with sea green markings on them fluttering all around us on the sand. This continued every day and felt like a beautiful welcome back/home, as I’ve come to know that butterflies carry the souls of our ancestors and their return in this embodiment around us is a remembrance and acknowledgment. I remember this reaffirmed by my shaman friend in Peru when a butterfly kissed my cheek upon our arrival to Machu Picchu. He looked at me and said, “welcome home.”
This first day kicked off a succession of perfect, blessed days throughout our week’s stay of pristine weather, gorgeous, warm Caribbean waters in all the shades of aqua to deep tanzanite that I love, complete peace and stillness, joyful discoveries like seashells under my toes, colorful
blossoms, and exotic wild animal encounters, the most incredible international vegan food ever (they have 5 restaurants and a taco food truck), rising Full Moon Eclipse energies, sacred spaces to breathe into, and a variety of conscious and nurturing activities.
I felt like a baby deeply nourished and swathed in comfort and rhythmic harmony for the body and soul. This was a welcome and refreshing feeling – one that also felt like a new and liberating beginning.
One sacred experience took place on our second day, which happened to be Friday the 13th.
While I won’t share details of everything we experienced during this ritual or our time away, I do want to share just a bit about the process and some symbolism and high points since it was a new experience for us both that we shared together, one that felt to set the tone of things to come now and later, held collective energy because of my intentions, and in case it calls to anyone in some way. It was perfect that we had a full day and a half of relaxing before this sacred ritual took place and equally interesting, as well as auspicious, it was only offered this day that fell on the 13th and at the start of our time there.
The experience is called a Temazcal Ceremony and here is an overview of what this experience usually entails: The Temazacal is an ancient ceremony passed down from pre-Hispanic cultures that is somewhat similar to a sweat lodge and offers a doorway for being reborn, detoxifying and cleansing the body, boosting the immune system, and opening the respiratory tracts, as well as integrating and clearing way for greater embodiment. A shaman (female and/or male) guides you through experience and facilitates support and safety throughout.
The temple that you enter looks like a stone igloo with a round dome structure connected to a low entrance you must crawl into and out of as a gesture of reverence to the ancestors and as reflection of human birth. Participants sit inside the completely dark, enclosed circular room around a pit where hot volcanic rocks, called abuelas (grandmother stones) are brought in. The sacred ritual includes a guided circle of songs, chanting, sound channeling, music (drums and varied indigenous instruments), meditations, intention honoring and loving embrace through the traditions of this experience. It is divided into four parts called puertas (doors) that introduce more stones each time so that the puerta increasingly gets hotter. A different tea blend of medicinal herbs and plants is then poured over the stones by the shaman to create steam. The experience ends with a cleansing in cold water – Mayan bath – to close the ritual. The ceremony represents a rebirth in the womb of Mother Earth – Terra – and the temple is a representational embodiment of Her with hot lava rocks in the middle. The ritual opens connection at an elemental level with Wind, Water, Fire, and Earth. The shaman/s prepare for this sacred ritual several days before guiding it.
And now here is what we actually experienced:
Our time began with the option of a sacred swim in the cenote before the ceremony began.
We got there early to have quiet, alone time there and to just shift into an intentional and open space for the journey ahead. Then the group gathered – there were 7 participants in total and 2 shamans (one female and one male). There was instant soul eye recognition between me and the shamans, especially with the man, and this continued throughout our stay with each of the facilitators and some of the staff.
We began with a circle around the lava stone pit outside of the temple and went through an opening to set the tone, offer and receive, and honor the process.
Then, one-by-one we entered the temple. To do so, you are cleansed by the shamans, kneel with forehead to the ground to ask for permission to enter and then crawl forward until inside, at which point you circle round the inner pit to take your place. I was first, as the shaman wanted me to be on the end of the circle nearest the right of the entrance. Then everyone else continued this process until we were all in and seated. The two shamans ended up sitting next to me, which felt significant – the male to my left and the female just a few inches in front and to my left. The ceremony then began, taking us through the series of 4 doors (puertas) that we would be journeying through. As mentioned, first the lava (grandmother) stones are brought in one at a time – 13 in all for each doorway, to equal 52 in total by the end. We had a ritual of song and welcoming that we did in Spanish with the presenting of each stone, accompanied by us each taking turns touching both tips of a full rack of shed deer antler to the stone and then a lava rock soaked in water to touch to it with a spoken word of intention. Once the 13 are in, the male shaman who brought them in joined us all, closed the doorway behind him and we then began the journey in complete darkness. The female shaman had a bucket of water with the medicinal herbs in it that she would spread over the hots stones and us with a large leaf fan that would both create steam when hitting the rocks and cleansing over us. Within the first door, after initiations began, we stated our name and intentions for the ceremony. The order of doors is the Element of Air, then Water, then Fire, and Earth that we pass through and these also represent time periods in life, as well as many layers of ancient traditions around Creator, ancestral lineage, blood family, all relations, and lastly for yourself. There are many aspects to each we touched upon, but these are a couple of the symbolisms: Air is connected with the inner child we carry with us and that is at the heart of birthing into life, Water is the child to adolescent time period that births forward, Fire is the primordial essence and connected to adult life, and Earth is the stage of elder years beginning around 52 and after where one does not feel as much need to speak, but to be…the first 3 doors are for others and our relationship within all of this and what we’ve carried and experienced to integrate, forgive, release, and transmute…the last door is for yourself, alone, and is one of stillness and silence before your rebirth from Earth’s womb. Much song, music (we each chose instruments and also used our voice), and process fills the first 3 doors and the last is quiet on the participants’ parts as the shamans take you through the journey of receiving and drawing forth renewal while you lie down curled against the Earth – the rest of the doors you are usually seated or can choose to stand if you want even more heat, lay down if you need to cool down and feel dizzy. These are only very very general things, as it’s an involved process. After each doorway, which lasted about 45 minutes, we would say goodbye and thank the ancients and ancestors, then begin the same process with the arrival of 13 more stones, and so on.
The number thirteen is a sacred number for the Maya and represents completion and the evolution of a new chapter, but is so much more. You can research all the layers of meaning 13 has for the Maya, but it is rich and considered a good day for ritual and abundance. Very beautiful and auspicious we got to do this on Friday the 13th.
The first two doors felt very finalizing and full of closure for me with what I focused on and completed in my process with others and experiences. I won’t go through each doorway, but did want to mention 2 of them because of the extra powerful things that I experienced. This was in the 2nd Water door and the 4th Earth door. That said, each one was rich and also very potent in supporting my intentions, as well as moving me successfully through the initial hesitation I had about doing this, due to my claustrophobia and heat challenges. The third door of Fire is the hottest one of all and can be the most challenging for many. And we all agreed it was the most intense and brought up the most intention and focus work for me to maintain physical equilibrium, but felt indicative of transmutation taking place. Temperatures throughout the process of all doors is over 100 degrees, but increases with each group of 13 stones added. I stayed present with my breath and centering, as well as following my inner guidance to move through it and found myself pleasantly surprised that my intentions were answered because although I was on my cycle (which came and went in 2 days), there was the Scorpio Full Moon Eclipse nearing, and I have past life reasons for the challenges…none of this presented a problem and I felt stronger and more invigorated. In fact, having my cycle begin the night before felt part of the ritual initiation and offering, as well as rebirthing.
In the 2nd Water door we went through the birth canal and did a lot of healing integration and retrieval. Nearing the end of the ceremony the shamans said we would now have the opportunity to declare ourselves anew in this dark Cosmic and Earth womb by stating, “I am _____ and this is my mantra.” The two shamans both went first stating their name and then sound channeling their mantra. They then presented the opening for anyone to go next that wanted to. I had really felt this doorway throughout the layers of me, which induced a full body movement of dance and swaying from where I was seated, really deepening into the music we had created and the energy that was rumbling through the space. It was enlivening and empowering in a truly refreshing and clarifying way. Throughout the doors I had been silent, other than to state intentions, but never felt called to share when the space was opened for that. I’ll talk more about this later. But I knew this was my moment and there was no doubt this energy that was spiraling through me like a serpent, was ready to be heard. I waited about 3 seconds after the invitation and no one else volunteering, then began my channeling as the first one to offer it. “I am Tania and this is my mantra…” What came through was at decibels of clarity and strength like no other I’ve felt. And being in the small circular stone, dark space, it reverberated and penetrated loudly, as if the ancestors and ancients were channeling through my embodiment. I completely surrendered to the feeling of the frequencies within me and my voice journeyed through fluctuating layers of sound, notes, and depth that sounded tribal and as if many were coming through the one voice and reminded me of the power I have been and am now throughout my existence and embodiments. This short chorus rhythm repeated 4 times until I felt done. Immediately following, the male shaman said, “Beautiful mantra!” Dave felt called to go next and I remember laying my hand on his thigh when he did, filled with support and honor for him being brave to voice himself too, and slowly 2 others did theirs (each in their own way) and 3 passed, some saying they wanted help from all of us to chant their mantra. This was a turning point for me. Later, when the ceremony was over Dave immediately turned to me and said, “You really belted that mantra out of nowhere. Where the heck did that come from? You rocked the house and outdid the shamans, as if you were the shaman.” This was really special to share with Dave since he had never heard me do my sound channelings in person and to hear his experience of things was very touching. As mentioned, the whole week of intentional spiritual retreat with him was a very deepening experience for us to share together and follows in the footsteps of many openings like this that we have been seeding and weaving as a team.
The second experience I wanted to share was in door 4 – the Earth puerta – which was a very beautiful and moving experience for me that involved an incredible visionary journey storyline spanning time and space with coded messaging that was both an ending and beginning all at once. This involved a lot of Cosmic and inner Earth womb journeying, ancestors, Cosmic family, ancient times, me in an integrated embodiment of both my power lives on Earth and my multi-dimensional self, my twin soul Nestor (who was my rabbit in this life) appearing and she and I becoming one, my rabbit kin and cosmic lineage sharing a message with me, a large black and red dragon that I swallowed and then became reminding me of the ouroboros (Definition: a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity), and another series of visual encounters with 13 crystal skulls (there’s that 13 again) – this all went along with some of my intentions for the ceremony which included healing ancestral lineage and to create greater wholeness within.
It was an amazing and powerful experience and very unifying on every level.
As the ceremony came to closure, we received a huge shower of the medicinal herb water while still inside the chamber at the end of the initiation of the 4th door by the female shaman that prepared us for our rebirth back into the world from the womb. She and the male shaman were a beautiful synergy of combined gifts and guidance throughout the journey with their knowledge, wisdom, vulnerability, musical cadence that set the tone, and loving kindness that created a safe space for all. Then it was time to leave the chamber and after the shamans, I was told to come out first again. And just as we crawled into the womb, we now crawled back out, but backwards – touching our forehead to the ground in honor and gratitude. Once outside, you remain down and the shamans then shower you with another herbal cleansing bath as you are welcomed back into the world anew with sacred words and blessings. I was then told that I could take my fan of herbs that we’d been each given inside the chamber (this to place intentions in, to smell during the ceremony if desired, which I did, and to place upon us for support and balance) to the fire pit outside and throw it into the flames with intention. After that, we were welcome to do a sacred cleansing swim in the cenote again, which we did. I was first in and the cool waters were a refreshing way to invigorate the process and also close the pores that had been deeply opened with transmutational sweating and purging throughout the 4 hour journey. Dave and I then felt called to jump into the ocean after the cenote, so we made our way to the beach and felt the frequencies of the collective waters wash over us.
I felt called to share more detail on this, as it was an extremely rich one that felt so aligned with the collective journey and how we can each choose to weave healing through the layers within that will trickle out to the unified field – this as a way of doing our part and being the change we want to see. It’s definitely not for anyone and everyone will come to it with different intentions (many of the others there had come for physical healing for instance), and depending on the traditional teachings each shaman has trained and initiated in and then adds to with their unique color it will vary, but if it calls to you I wanted to share what it was like for me. I had never done a sweat lodge of any type before (in this life, that is) and I’m glad that things aligned for this to be my first in the cradle of Maya roots that opened the Cosmic vortex of my heart…the timing in my life journey being impeccable, as it made the process a gentle one based on the things I’ve devoted work to over the years.
I want to briefly circle back to the 13 crystal skulls that showed up in a series of visuals and coded messaging during the 4th door. As mentioned, 13 has powerful meaning for the Maya and Cosmic connection, and these skulls I encountered were a direct link to the 13 highly evolved crystal skulls (quartz) you may have heard stories about. These were full-sized talking, singing, healing, wisdom-keeper skulls that vibrate at very high level frequencies to make accessing the info one of initiation. They embodied important key coded information about our origins, purpose, destiny of humans, and mysteries of the Universe and were said to have been created in the Golden Age of Atlantis and programmed by the intergalactic council along with high priestesses and priests that cared for and guarded them. During the fall of Atlantis, these priestesses and priests removed them and hid them across the world in sacred areas. Twelve of them hold the wisdom of each tribe that originate from one of 12 planets and could travel interdimensionally, and the 13th is said to be the Master skull (of amethyst) that held the combined wisdom of all of them. One day they may come back together, marking the next evolutionary chapter.
I bring this up for interest sake, because their showing up feels integral to where we are as a collective right now and what is getting ready to emerge, and because I had recently made the connection as to why some of the new crystal family have been coming to me, which happens to include – 13 crystal skulls (something I haven’t ever had in this life). The largest Master skull just happens to be a giant amethyst singing skull that wears a feather headdress with clearly etched feathers on one side and organic essence of some on the other side that merges it as Earth and Cosmic Master of all the tribes. The way this skull came to me was quite divine and each of the 12 others have all been an alignment of frequency matches and synergy to the group. I’ve been allowing them to ground here and establish their connections between each other, as well as charged and prepared them without deepening into things yet, so our work is about to begin, which was timely with the 13 skull visions and codings that came through the end of my Temazcal journey that indicate a deep process I’ll be immersing in with them.
And in totality, the ceremony was one of cleansing and peaceful closure, softening into being, receiving and nurturing, as well as total purification body, mind, emotions, and soul, into yet a new rebirth that feels to be on a different timeline, which is why it is taking patience to allow this period of return to merge back. It does in fact feel like a literal birth as a baby, since that is such a dramatic and shocking one from oneness into body…in many ways much harder than actual physical death. Although I don’t feel trauma or shock in this return…I can feel the recalibration from Cosmic womb to standing in the sunshine of embodiment.
The next day on the 14th was another nourishing day of integrative relaxation beach and poolside.
On this day our first sighting of a coati took place, running past us while we were laying by the pool and then a second one sighted at night on our daily bike ride (the resort offers bikes throughout the grounds and we would ride them to classes and meals, as well as do a nightly ride to explore).
This very first and only other time I’ve seen coati was on one of our trips in Sedona, which is extremely rare to sight there. I wasn’t fast enough to get a photo of its cute face, but you can see the back end of it here scurrying down the path.
Animal spirit guides seemed to be a huge theme for me while on this trip, as not only would we be surrounded by daily butterflies and iguanas, lizards, and geckos (iguanas were literally dropping out of the trees on the ground around me just before the Temazcal ceremony when I was taking time in the jungle area to myself), greeted every sunrise and throughout the day by exotic songbirds, experienced some sightings of coati and agouti, giant moth, and sea life, but then nearly every single night I was having dreams with different animals coming through.
The first three nights in a row included one with a squirrel that was talking to me after nudging my leg to let me know he was there, another with a variety of little animals outside a sliding door to include turtles, a rabbit, other small creatures (some of which were riding the backs of others), and a kestrel again at my ankle nudging me to talk, then one with 31 rabbits that had gotten out of their pens because someone left the doors open and I had to go round them up so they would be safe – interesting 31 is the reverse of 13.
On the day of the Full Moon Eclipse, the 15th, we started our morning with a Therapeutic Yoga class where we connected with the lovely instructor who was well versed in the energies and sharing about the journey of moving energy and what the Eclipse Moon was about.
Interestingly she asked if I was a Scorpio after she talked about the water sign energies to which I said I wasn’t, but Dave was and I was a Pisces. She smiled about us both being water signs. The rest of the day continued in the theme of self nurtured luxuriating and ended in a sacred couples massage called an Atlachinolli Ritual. Two therapists/facilitators are involved that lead the couple through a ritual first that was quite beautiful and deepening of connection where the fire and water energies are worked with and initiate a remembrance of your intentions for coming together on this Earth plane and a renewal of the connection through all the elements that brings gratitude through from soul to soul.
Our room looked out on the infinity pool, ocean, and had a view of Cozumel across the way, but it also was directly aligned with the Moon every night that rose directly across from our balcony.
This provided a full and clear view of the Full Moon Eclipse on this night of the 15th and we watched the process of it turning red and its light renewing as it moved through the shadows of eclipsing.
But before settling in and awaiting the Eclipse, we did our own private intentional connecting at a sacred spot on the beach under the moonlight. The above photo is what it looked like at night. These next photos are of earlier times in the days preceding the full illumination.
And these next are of a connected area before you get to the sacred stone circle on the beach that we would often visit in the evenings leading up to the Full Moon Eclipse. You can see the giant goddess, I felt as the Moon Goddess Ixchel, whom I wear over the back of my heart chakra as a sacred tattoo.
So, I of course had Dave get a photo of me honoring her.
There is also a giant crystal at her solar plexus that was amazing by night and day.
And I also loved this magick mushroom world that was right next to these beautiful ritual areas that had me feeling like a real live Alice in Wonderland.
Before arriving to our morning chosen ritual on the 16th, I saw my first agouti running in and out of the lush tropical plants. If you’ve never seen these before they are quite fascinating. Again, couldn’t get a front view, so only the back end was caught, but I offer you photos from our in-room catalog so you can see what they and the coati look like.
Although these are large rodents, they look like a cross of pygmy deer and pig without tail, walking on long legs with rounder high back and narrow lower front. Everything including the jungle and the lizards that ran like raptors was anchoring in prehistoric energies and the high gates to the jungle lining the back end of the resort was like being in Jurassic Park.
After breakfast this day we entered a Tibetan Bowl ritual healing with an incredible sound healer that was deeply nourishing and recalibrating. We sat/laid at the front and again I felt a connection with him just as I have with each of the facilitators so far – definitely understanding we were coming back together in this life and at this time.
We then made our way to our snorkeling boat that we had decided as our adventure for the day. The boat ride took us passed our resort to a little cove.
We were gifted by a giant blue stingray that swam with us for about 20 minutes and colorful reefs of unique coral forests, giant black sea urchins about a foot and a half in diameter, tons of gorgeous tropical fish, and a huge puffer fish hiding in a cave that was likely about 2 1/2 feet long. These are our post snorkeling happy refreshed faces.
I was deeply inspired by the beauty of it all and wondered if something creative might emerge from what I experienced. The boat ride to and from was equally rewarding and refreshing, feeling the cleansing spray and soaking in the gorgeous aqua waters that touch this Pisces soul.
This day happened to be the anniversary of my family’s dear and spunky parakeet Chuck’s transition, so the animal dreams continued…this night it was Chuck who visited me as a human sized parakeet and made me laugh when I woke because he had shape shifted his beak to softened lips so he could make out with me without hurting me LOL!
The 17th was our last full day and we decided to get out a little earlier than usual and grabbed one of the paddle boards, as we sat together on it through the quiet water, Dave paddling us along and welcoming the new day. After breakfast we then decided upon the Soul Reading gathering that was facilitated by a channeler who brings through the Akashic Records for each individual present in the circle and then shares the messages that the guides have for each that is most important as this time to know. The channeler was extremely sweet and there was immediate unspoken rapport between she and I that we recognized when we looked at each other. Synchronously, there was a man sitting by me when we first started gathering as a circle and then something made him get up on his own and move across the circle which opened the space next to me and the channeler ended up by my side. She guided us through a meditation and then proceeded one-by-one to give us our messages…again I was first. The message resonated. After the channeling and people leaving, she turned to me and said “Thank you for sitting next to me. Your energy was so beautiful to have with me” and we shared a nice connection for a moment.
The rest of the day of course was more beach time relaxing and yummy food, then we decided to try the Tai Chi class late afternoon. This was a full immersion with another very gifted facilitator, and although the class moved fast with a lot packed in…the intention of presence and intention resounded. This day happened to be Cosmo’s birthday (our beautiful son in rabbit body this life) and it was sweet to have his loving and nurturing energy around us, which showed up in the most beautiful last sunset over the jungle that bordered the back of our room, as you can see below.
Every evening I was like a little girl awaiting the sky’s gifts…eager to see what creative expression was going to show up there.
And this brings us to our last day – the 18th – before departure. We actually were able to get in quite a bit since we didn’t need to leave to the airport until 1:15 pm. So we decided to end our time with another Therapeutic Yoga class with same instructor, enjoy some good food, a little last beach relaxing to say goodbye to the ocean, and put it all to closure with an incredible Gong Bath with the same sound healer.
All so perfect as a send off, sealing of the energies, and adding a rhythmic unfolding to our return back. While we were just beginning to lay down to receive the amazing sound experience I felt Dave brushing my leg and I opened my eyes, but he said nothing and laid beside me. Later he told me that there was a decent sized white and brown furry spider crawling up my dress and then making his way up my leg. Oddly I didn’t feel anything, but immediately felt its presence to be a marker of the transformation I had gone through and would be receiving in this sound healing activation. This ancient being bestows the power to work magick and brings to us the energies of manifestation, ancient wisdom, sacred feminine power, creative artistry, patience, seeing through illusion, interconnection, and balance. A beautiful send-off indeed and it was all sealed with a Cosmic kiss when I saw the clock immediately after we sat down in our airport shuttle and buckled in. It read: 1:11pm.
If you’ve stayed with me this long, I’d now like to circle back to the title of this post and what it means.
Ká a yaán tah
The area we were in was once home to the Maya – “inspiring people known for impressive architecture, sophisticated mathematical and astronomical systems, and a magical connection to their gods and the Earth. Their impressive temples and pyramids like Chichen Itza, Coba, and Tulum, were built as places where the Maya could worship, interact, and commune with nature.“
And I could feel their presence and energies within…even showing up in little light orbs as you can see here around me:
The Mayan word Ká a yaán tah means “to be reborn.”
I discovered this way back in my days of research and unfolding synchronicities while I was uncovering the connections to rich layers through my Maya roots. It was an incredibly profound and relieving experience for me to connect these dots that spoke to all I felt cosmically and earthly aligned to with such a resurgence of memories and resonance that I ended up immediately having a thick silver band ring engraved with this word on the outside of it to mark the experience at the time of this conscious rebirth. A ring I still have after all these years.
When we first embarked on these current travels back to this area, the word came to the surface immediately and I had this knowing that I was in for another rebirthing, but in a whole different way.
Indeed I have been reborn through this past week, but it was more like the closing ceremony of a long initiated journey or vision quest that I’ve been on for most of my life. A ceremony that both marked an ending and a beginning, just as the ouroboros represents…and that this is an endless spiraling cycle that is ever-creatively unfolding and manifesting through our intentional direction.
Ká a yaán tah is the experience of renewal with inherent hope and inspiration through the activated embodiment when you take that first breath.
I’ve been through many processes over the years and they’ve been a mixed bag of intensity and softness, but drenched in what felt complex and even hard at times. It’s ultra refreshing to release these old ways and to know that another possibility and experience is available to us. And although they will present new mountains to climb, we come to understand we have the ability to open our wings at any moment.
And although this blog post is full of words, I in fact am less about the spoken words these days and when I do share it feels driven by intentional inner guidance and timing and in many ways the creative expressions through art, sound, and the written word resonate more. Perhaps this is why the 4th door of Temazcal was profound and richly woven for me, as well as my only spoken words were a sound channeling throughout the ceremony. There is also no randomness about my always ending up next to the facilitators and in many ways spoken and unspoken, energetically partnering with them simply by presence rather than a need to say anything. I observed my letting go of certain roles I’ve been used to, balancing the scales with fully receiving from others, and also moving into a passive facilitating space where I can do so from a state of frequency presence and transference, alone. There was a tangible feeling and knowing of our being one, a recurrence of things we’ve shared in other pasts, and it demonstrated to me the ways in which we do and are capable of telepathic energy transference…a direction we are returning more consciously to. It also reflected the state of surrendering the old ways and moving into the new terrain that brings a familiar smile to my heart. As I near 50 I edge into that last door and all that was shown to me there is what is unfolding and what I am looking forward to upcoming.
Although I don’t and won’t be blogging quite as often as I used to, I am called to share all of what I have today because it’s part of my lineage to give voice to the story weaving of creation into being. And while I haven’t shared the depth of intricacies to the experiences, may it seed what ever is meant to be through the energetic wave lengths.
Because a deep part of my intentions were to bring greater wholeness within myself in order to pass that on for integrative healing for my ancestral lineage – of which I intend as a ripple across the collective – it felt important to share the framework of this unfolding and then allow the codings to do their own work.
Thank you for witnessing, holding space for, and contributing your energy to this journey, for each of us add artistry to the web that we both weave and unravel.
As I began sharing, I’m still in process of fully feeling out this reemergence back home and in a new frequency embodiment. So I’m leaning into what I need and returning slowly. I can’t really explain how it feels, as it fluctuates through, but it’s headed in a lovely direction.
The best description to encapsulate the process and feeling is that of a caterpillar slowly awakening, crawling out of the chrysalis, and discovering it now has wings. The process much like the patience needed during the time period of integrating this new form, with wings still small, wet, and unable to yet fly. The butterfly must pump fluids from abdomen through the veins to her wings in order for them to expand. Then the fluids pump back into the body and excess dispelled, with some staying in the veins of the wing to harden and provide sturdier framework for flying. There again, reflecting ká a yaán tah.
This longer share today feels to be part of the process and momentum forward. As you can see, it was much more than a honeymoon.
It was a shared ritual of sacred renewal that was made even sweeter by having a partner there to hold space for each of our transformational needs, to witness and lovingly support so each could truly let go.
I’m used to doing everything on my own and am capable of it and all my spiritual retreats have been as such until now…It’s a beautiful gift to surrender and create equilibrium of giving and receiving, create a marriage of vulnerable strength, and luxuriate into what life has to offer in all ways. It’s a blessing to know I can do both.
Upon returning home I’ve spent several days in my garden to really allow nature to support the transition back and help me to recalibrate the new frequencies. I feel both the harmonization and the duality present in my body of both Earth and Cosmos very tangibly and they are alchemizing right now, so I am not rushing that.
Garden time has involved pruning my plants because of the frost bitten parts that surprise May snow and freezing temperatures brought to my new green babies before we left. As you may recall from one of my last blogs before leaving May Momentum of a Foxglove Faery, I had just gotten in my seasonal plants. Luckily, I did not lose any of them and am so grateful for that, as I kept thinking about my plants and sending them energy since I left with them wilted and covered in snowy frost. After a good pruning, watering, energy, and talking to, they’ve all perked back up and although some lost a lot of leaves and buds that were ready to blossom, they are going through their own renewal that will take time to fully flourish from a temporary pause and mini death to life again – mirroring my own being reborn. I did finally do all my seeding, which felt timely after returning. I wove intentions with that process and it felt like a literal cultivation of merging physical with spiritual for what will blossom forth. I decided to get some more plants to add to my rock garden and picked up several more foxgloves since I wasn’t sure if the others would make it. Since they did, I now have even more magick to come. The reason I also planted more is that our drip line irrigation system is going in and should be done by Wednesday, so I got in plants in the areas, now that I know they’ll be well cared for. I’m also super happy that I finally found and ordered some sunflowers. I couldn’t find my favorites in a perennial option, but I did find some perennial maximilian sunflowers so I ordered five – my favorite number – and look forward to their yellow sunshiny joy gracing the garden.
And then there’s been the animal energies continuing and their symbolism weaving magick into my life since returning as well. Just like the day I returned from our last trip visiting family and friends, the morning after we returned, Hope was in the side yard to greet me.
At first she was quite alert with ears up and listening to me, and then she relaxed with her ears back and down, and I could feel her comfort match my own.
That same day I also found a larger frog when we were getting our deck furniture out, in between my garden time.
This was the biggest I’d seen here and I enjoyed connecting with her energies. Then Friday, as we were walking the grounds to discuss the drip line we wanted before the guy who is installing would arrive the next morning, I found a perfect large nest at the bottom of one of our huge trees.
That felt like a sweet reflection as well and I’ll of course be adding it to my ever-growing nest mobile art I created for our bedroom.
Bathroom renovations were not completed before we left, as the couple working on it have had challenging times with an ailing and soon-to-transition dog companion, so we still have several more days to go with that.
In the meantime, I’ve been honoring my needs and feelings, getting a lot done that supports that, and slowly returning to completing other things like the last class recordings (continued bathroom renovation noise will dictate) and a previous wand commission over the next couple of weeks. And speaking of wands, I’m floored that the 23 incredible beings Astrid and I channeled for these have all found a home and connected to the most amazing Earth angels. Thank you from heart to heart. Anyway, the timing of these delays, once again, speaks to alignment as the energy that will channel through feels much more resonant now.
This evening is actually my first return back appearance, as it’s my turn to lead Monday’s Restorative Meditation Circle.
And that’s where I find myself…full circle and stretching into this new frequency I find myself in. Body and spirit are stirring up a new cauldron of embodiment and experience and it will be interesting to see where it all leads.
As within, so without.
Ká a yaán tah
Stand strong in the frequency of Sacred Feminine energy you have come here to embody, for the way your creative energy chooses to express is no more or less than anyone else’s.
And this includes however the Sacred Mother channels through your life. Innately, you are and emanate these expressions through your own spectrum of the rainbow.
For me, I have consciously chosen to express this mother energy via my animal companions and through the way I interact with and guide others via my thread of energy vocation that has held others in nurturing and true heart connection to support empowerment and expansion.
I decided that I could express my mother energy through caretaking of my garden of plants, my soul mates in animal bodies, every person I came in contact with and/or had honor to work with through my calling, and even through the way I nurture a relationship with our Earth home and Nature at large.
While being a mother is a very sacred experience in bringing through a child from the womb, the womb of creation is unlimited in its expansive energy to birth anything. It is simply up to us to use that energy and create from the fullness of our being.
I want every single person who expresses this Sacred Mother energy in their own beautiful way to know you are seen, honored, and a gift. It’s how you live and how you love that truly carries the meaning of everything you experience and gift others to experience through you.
Maternal love is where a genuine heart opens to meet another heart in need. It is unconditional love at its finest that creates a bond like no other.
As I’ve written before:
“There are many ways to be a mother and there are many meanings for what a mother is to each of us.
Regardless of how that looks and comes to be for each, the one we feel to call “mother” in our lives is one who provides us creative life energy, cultivation, nurturing, sensitivity, vulnerable strength, unconditional love, as well as tough love, patience, consistency, reflections of true beauty in all forms, and even recognition and implementation of boundaries – all encapsulated in the embodiment of the Sacred Feminine.
This Sacred Mother Energy can cross all imaginary boundaries of cultures, religions, races, species, life forms and beyond. So, whether you are a plant or fur baby momma, mother to a child – biological, adopted, fostered – a mother figure to others in general, care-taker of another human, animal, garden or Mother Earth herself, or creatrix birthing from the feminine source of your creative power in any way – you are a mother – you are a goddess.”
May brings us a Full Flower Moon in Scorpio and Total Lunar Eclipse that peaks on the 15th or 16th depending on your time zone and with this powerful illumination of the shadowy crevices that may hold us back from that fullness, comes the opportunity for rich transformational consciousness that can alchemize emotional layers into a more liberated rebirth.
May your hearts flourish and be as full as this potent Flower Moon. And may you access the beauty of your being so that how you creatively birth the love within you will know no bounds like our Sacred Mother Earth demonstrates so exquisitely.
And speaking of Sacred Feminine, Mother, and Goddess energy, Dave surprised me with an official honeymoon getaway (we hadn’t taken one since our wedding of Summer Solstice 2020) that will be fully nurturing and all about pure soaking in and letting go. I’m grateful to embrace my inner goddess for a no agenda week.
That means this is my last blog until some time after I return on May 18th.
I had wanted to do a Full Moon special, but being that I’ll not be working while away, I will sit with perhaps offering it at another time that guidance shows me.
In the meantime, these are some reminders of current offerings:
Tomorrow, Monday the 9th at 5:30 pm PDT, is our first Restorative Meditation Circle that is a free online gathering – this first one will be led by Dave for anyone who wants to join and the last thing we’ll be doing before heading out.
The Empowerment Series of classes that include Everyday Reiki and Transcending Duality should all be ready and sent out to those of you who signed up before I leave – crossing fingers, toes and wings. Although I’ve been very productive these days, due to a lot going on here with daily, noisy bathroom renovations, it’s put some things on hold like recordings even though the material is all ready to go. Luckily Everyday Reiki was done before all of this and I was able to get the recorded class out to everyone who signed up, which felt important since the tools in that spoke to the needs of the time. This last one’s theme is also very key, yet I have to wonder about divine timing merging it with the energies of this potent month and so I know that delays are also alignment. Anyway, I’m doing my best to get that out before going, but worst case scenario it will be within days of my return. Since these recordings are, or will be, ready shortly, if anyone else is interested in either of these classes I’m opening things up to register again on the link above.
We are honored and grateful that almost half of the Beltane Magick Wands have journeyed off to their new heart homes. We have just 14 left and of these there are only 3 left that include the 2 million year old petrified wood I found and added to their energetic alchemy. These can be found at the link above. I’m actually loving these so much I may make myself a 2nd one, as a perfect piece of pine wood found me on Beltane after I shared the wands.
And last, we have 2 special Magick Crystal Friends left and 6 powerful pieces still putting out feelers for their heart homes via the Curiosities Corner of Curated Items page. I’m always curious to see where things end up – always in divine timing. Yet, I’m surprised on a lot of these (knowing the energies they carry), as I can feel the soul energies that are around some pieces and sense some themes of “worthiness” being challenged, as well as layers of fear being unhinged in terms of the energies these bring to light. Gem of the Emerald Forest Panda spirit animal painting is especially interesting to me – the last original painting I have left. It’s very much aligned with the Transcending Duality theme, boundless unity, harmonizing those sacred feminine and masculine parts within, anchoring balance, heart chakra bridging work, developing our shining power rather than hiding, and Earth Keeper energies. Such a seemingly innocent, cuddly panda speaks to depths of richness, potency, and complexity.
May we all deepen into the resiliency of our hearts, realize the gifts of our uniqueness and stop hiding, and love each other in the ways that the Sacred Mother energy so exemplifies.
Love is in the Earth and so are my hands.
In the last two days I picked up all of the plants I needed (these are some of them with me in above photo) for new pots gifted to me by my parents, as well as for pots that needed perennials after experiments I did last year.
I also got some to fill in between the extended faery and rock garden area I’ve newly added to and to replace some potted bushes and a rose bush that didn’t make it after the big snow of December took them out.
That meant some fun garden time literally getting my fingernails all dirty, as I planted 11 foxglove, 6 Spanish lavender, and one rose bush over the last two days in between my days’ adventures and focuses.
Although not all foxgloves are perennial – the original wildflowers are biennials – the descendent variety I get are perennial and have been coming back prolifically each year in white, rose and purple blossoms.
This faery is a HUGE lover of foxglove – they make my heart beam! – which is why I plant so many of them. These new ones join bunches more that are all over the garden, deck and front entry. Lavender is also a favorite for me and melts my heart, which I have tons of as well. I enjoy drying the lavender at the end of the season so I have so much of it to bake, cook, and make things with come Autumn. I still have huge amounts left from last year, actually.
My other favorites are the lilies that have also been doing amazing here, and the random plethora of wildflowers that are growing throughout my yards, garden, and pots from my throwing seeds everywhere with glee!
The mini roses on my two bushes (one newly planted and one still going strong) are also very sweet. I like to dry some of their petals, as well, for use over the year.
Along with the new plant babies that arrived to the Forest Portal, I even found a third squeeze-me-cute little white bunny pot hanger so that now all three of the large pots outside of my and Astrid’s Wonderland room can have their sweetness gazing back at us.
This quickly completes my main planting work for the season other than my mini greenhouse containers, which I’ll be doing shortly, but is going to be very easy too. With those and my Garden Tower I’ll have enough greens for Astrid and us that will be the perfect and easily manageable amount for this simple faery.
Come Autumn I’ll plant more tulip bulbs, as I’m so excited about them coming up for the first time this year.
And that’s it! Unless I find some perennial sunflowers today when the garden center just down the street opens for the first day this season. Yay 5/5 – a day that is a holder for a couple of special things in my life.
(UPDATE: No sunflowers to be found so instead I got 8 other plant babies to finalize our perennial family for the season: 1 large red elderberry bush (it has an already established baby huckleberry, white blackberry and larger mock orange bush as nearby friends), 1 hollyhock, 2 red daylily, 1 yellow daylily, 1 yellow lupine, 1 yellow moonshine yarrow, and 1 large lavendula round bush – they all got planted on my late afternoon/early evening break in honor of my Russian Tortoise, Gaia, who’s birthday it is and the day Nestor’s ashes came home to me. I’ll share updates later into Summer when things flourish and bloom.)
I’ve made things in my garden and yards very simple so that minimal work is needed, things maintain a wild with intent organic flow, and I get to enjoy perennial beauties that flourish each year and bring in the pollinators – bumble bees, butterflies, hummingbirds, and more! Our front yard has gone back wild and free so no more water waste there in terms of the lawn the previous owners had planted, and the side yard is coming up wildflower plants all on its own from one little faery’s sprinkling of seeds.
And now that all of the land around the house has been Spring cleaned from all the Winter die off, pine needles and cones, branches, leaves, and more (this is also part of defensible space protection for potential fire preparedness), my last plan will be to get in a drip system this year so that everything will be pretty much self contained.
In the meantime, I do enjoy watering as a time-out-of-time break every several days to be with the natural elements all around me.
I think the plants, animals, and Fae enjoy how I celebrate each time spent with them.
Garden time is always a fun break to also step out in my gardening boots and playful faery attire.
Like these fun overalls that I also customized with wild intent.
They came with the 3 big stitched flowers on the front, but I had patches added – two sweet rabbits in fancy Spring dresses, holding flowers stitched onto the front pockets and 2 large sunflowers (my fav flower of all time – hoping still to find a perennial variety here locally) stitched onto the back pockets. Then I had a Tennessee artisan block print the flowers on the back of the legs with natural plant dyes. And voila!
Adorning the body as a temple has always been a creatively sacred act for me, just as the Earth adorns her curves in shrouds of blossoms, purple mountain majesties, crystalline waters, and fields of colorful dreams.
Spring is in full swing here and it’s continued to support a deep reset of things – especially seeing that between Easter and Beltane, how a whole upgrade is anchoring into the physical.
Even the bathroom renovations we’ve been doing and that are nearing completion, speaks to me of these deep transitions being literally restructured from the ground up. The bathrooms are the only part of this house we hadn’t changed when we moved in, so the significance is potent. Especially so, since Dave and I are both Water signs. And as I was sharing with a sweet friend, “Water and bathrooms always speak to me of the core stuff, the deep subconscious and emotional energies…a resetting of everything to build and have a stronger foundation from the ground up! So, it feels like we’re all having a deep dive of new energies on the levels that really are at the center of everything.”
May feels motivating of life changes in store…a time period of momentum merging future self with the now even more. I get the sense of great gifts and blessed moments coming from patient and consistent perseverance. May, for me, is both an ending and beginning tied into one.
I’ve been taking more time off and away these days, which has felt really good. It’s been beneficial on many levels and provides me more room to breathe into what my deepest joys and inner compass are whispering.
It’s also been a very productive period, as well as healing and recreating things from a whole new foundation. We’ve been getting so much done here, both as a team (Dave and I) and on an individual level as well.
The more time I tune in and take away, the more I actually am seeing myself accomplish and recreate in strong, foundational ways…and where before some things seemed certain to be, are now offering new pathways because of opening wider and shining the light where it was needed most.
I will continue to listen to that inner voice and take more time away to maintain the balance that is so enriching and necessary. That is both literally away on small journeys and just physically stepped away and immersed in my own world outside of here.
I know that collective connection is inherent regardless of how often we show up on platforms like these. That is the space… through the cosmic heart… where we are always connected and always meet.
In my heart and mind I’m always dancing in a field of wildflowers, surrounded by fresh mountain spring water and wise trees, with wild rabbits leaping in harmony with me, and a temperate breeze and sun rays kissing my skin. In that vision sings a hope for the collective and a promise to keep seeding expansive potentials through every creative expression.
Happy May to all of our friends and soul family! Today’s post shares your energy update from Lee Harris for this new month, as well as celebrates current energies with a little surprise offering – the Beltane Magick Wand Collection.
These new faery creations were born of the Taurus New Moon Solar Eclipse and Beltane energies. I completed them the eve before the New Moon, just in time to have them charge in the powerful New Moon Solar Eclipse energies and emerge in time for Beltane celebrations. This is a rare Black Moon – the second New Moon in a month – embodying magickal energy as a catalyst for change, revealing that which lurks in the shadows and offering powerful surges of energy to ignite a turning point in your life.
I’ve been feeling the call to channel some special magick wands that were affordable, yet potent, and full of enchantment to support the ever-evolving times we are in. In this way, offering you added tools for empowerment that speak to the heart of who you are and the support you desire. In the past I’ve made these as custom offerings, but after just recently completing my last two custom wands, I felt that I wanted to be able to make these attainable for more people to have, as custom pieces are both more timely and more expensive in reflection to all that is involved.
In a way these are still custom pieces, but customized and attuned to the collective at large.
I love them SO MUCH that I even made one just for me!
23 in all – they include an incredible array of crystal and stone choices – some single energy focused and others are a synergy of several crystals and stones, including some very rare, 2 million year old petrified wood I found myself on the Spring Equinox Ostara portal.
To continue reading all about them and see which one might be your perfect partner to bring home for these times please visit:
Synchronously, one of my potent dreams last night was in line with Beltane’s celebration of regeneration and honoring of life in all its abundantly fertile levels. It involved finding four deer, one after another, who had wandered into our house’s open door while we were outside finishing to clean up the yard before heading off to the street celebration that was taking place. First, finding one large doe and then three large bucks with full antlers, in succession after that. There were even indications of May Queen and May King in the connection between the deer and Dave and I – Dave actually rode the large doe down the street and the three bucks were connected with me. Anyway, it felt like the perfect kick off for today’s vibrant portal bringing hopes and dreams into being.
And here’s Lee with May’s Energy support that just premiered: