Photo I took at Avebury stone circle in England

“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” ~C. JoyBell C.

Like many of you (I sense), I have been experiencing the beautiful, mysterious, powerful, transmutational void – again. And yet, while it is all of these things and more, it can to many be unnerving, confusing, challenging, debilitating, disillusioning, disappointing, and even downright knock-you-off-your-feet scary.

Luckily, I’ve come to understand how this time in the “gray” area is rich with possibilities. So while it can at first shift my energy into feeling off-balance and temporarily halted, I have learned that if I just trust and embrace the flight down the rabbit hole even though I can’t see a thing, I will soon find my inner world doing a 180 and the entry point becomes the exit point of the same tunnel, down turns into up, below becomes above. Within the tunnel it’s as if I become the mad scientist concocting energetic kaleidoscopes of alchemical creations until these percolating energies universally align just right, becoming the jet propulsion that ejects me several leaps beyond where I was upon entering.

That was my creative perspective on the process, but in simple terms, the void is a time where much growth is taking place. It is the place we can find most empowerment by embracing peace within seeming chaos. It is the catalyst for renewal and creation. And it is a time where all that we’ve known and were doing needs to be let go of, fears faced, old released, grieving to flow, and deeper trust cultivated, so your new actions become empowered and stabilized.

It’s a natural cycle of life to move in and out of that has the capability of supporting exponential growth.

I know that it can feel icky, depressive, hopeless, and as mentioned, even scary, but part of the reason you can get stuck in these feelings, or things can get worse than they need to, is that you start to attach to the temporary states of flow, hence blocking them, rather than letting them run their course.

If you can learn to love the void and realize the beauty of its presence at this time in your life, you can journey through it much more gracefully and quickly. Honor how you are feeling, do things that keep you balanced and recharged, and LISTEN to what your body, intuition, emotions are telling you. It’s not a time to make rash decisions or attach to anything just yet, as likely you have tons of brainstorming ideas that are just bubbling about. This is just your creative energy flowing. You can explore each of the ideas with your imagination, riding them out in “theory” to see how they feel, but realize that until you’ve fully moved through complete release and “nothingness” will you be clear enough to make a wise decision. Likely it will be staring you in the eye, rather than you desperately and forcibly searching with dying-battery flashlight in the abyss.

So yes, for me everything has been fantastically up in the air for the last few weeks with transitions abound. But because I allowed whatever ickiness wanted to have its way with me, realizing it was just temporary and not defining of my permanent experience, nor says any more or less about me if I get low for a while, I’m now emerging with more expansiveness. It’s been like being in a cocoon while I make sure all parts of me have fully transmuted (because you want to make sure your wings are fully formed for this latest journey or you won’t be able to take off and fly right?) and now having one antennae broken through to the surface and feeling the light of what I held in my heart through the temporary discomforts.

There is still some incubating to ensure my wings aren’t wet, broken, or too small when I do finally get the full green light to go, but right now I’m being very grateful for this gift I/we give to ourselves in order to make the most out of our experiences. What we do with the void is up to each of us. You can deny it, fight it, and scream and kick the whole way. You can allow yourself to be defeated and experience continuous challenge. But you can also just relinquish and realize the strength in doing so. Realize your human resiliency and love these times to balance yourself with perhaps more time reflecting, in solitude, taking care of yourself and your needs, and nurturing repressed/denied dreams.

Whether you fight or embrace, eventually you’ll still get to the same point – one way through inevitable exhaustion and the other through empowered choice.

I love that beautiful and potent void seed right now that is taking place for many, as we align to the matching frequencies of our current experience. In the process, you may find much loosening up and falling away in terms of relationships, friends, situations, work, where you live, etc. None of this is wrong, bad, or to be judged. It’s just a natural process of aligning with resonating frequencies, as each of us takes a new step on our paths. At every turn there will be tough choices, but they will also be the most enriching. You can’t please everyone, nor are you meant to. You have a responsibility to you and an integrity to your truth, and inevitably this is for the highest good because this in turn provides the opportunity for all others around you to do the same.

This is love manifest. It is not selfishness, if done with purity of heart for the highest good always.

And with responsibility comes personal action. Sitting back blindly, deliberately avoiding, or without conscious awareness might be considered irresponsible choice that defies your decision to incarnate.

However, at times there is also conscious non-action…or the action of non-action. This is a form of deliberate non-action for a reason and brings you into an effortless alignment with the ebb and flow of natural rhythms. In this case, you are very awake, in tune, and flowing without even trying, which creates a natural response and ability to be with any experience. You would instinctively know how to “be” with the void when it is needed and cycles around, and you would know when to ride the next wave that helps you emerge from it.

While you may not be taking outward action during the void, I assure you that much is taking place and that the void is meant to enhance actions you will take once you have journeyed through it. It isn’t called the “void of creation” for nothing. 🙂 What you create is a decision and a choice.

I love not knowing anymore and the possibilities of the adventure I have the ability to create each moment. I know that can be hard for many around me to grasp, as to why I change so much, but I have no one to explain to. We cannot satisfy other people’s fears except to move through our own.

This is huge for me, as I used to be a person wanting so much to control the things in my life. But it was the times throughout my life where I relinquished that and fully dove in with only the wisdom of my faith, that I experienced the most joy and fulfillment. And then I learned to do this on a regular, natural basis, with the added wisdom gained from coming to understand my processes and how I operate. This I have found key…to be an observer of your process and learn the nooks and crannies of your mental and emotional environment and how you maneuver, self-sabotage, hide, and ultimately avoid yourself. Then, gently undoing what you’ve been doing and reteaching yourself who you really are outside of your ingenious tricks. 😉

I’m not chasing anything and find the greatest magick in learning how to tap into the limitless, formless, eternal me, while funneling that through inspired blips of frequency alignments that take place when I am softened into that totality.

Sometimes it is just too challenging to explain things because it truly to me is about an “experience”. I understand the “need” we have to know things, but the formless for me, doesn’t need to be explained. Sometimes no beliefs can be more powerful than so-called “good” beliefs. Why? Because there are no limits then.

A fun and expanding exercise can be to loosen and soften yourself to just “pure” direct experience each moment and suspend judgment. Challenge yourself to live outside of the defined box you’ve created for yourself, others, and even for what you may call the “Divine” or Universe. Something is real because you experience it. You don’t need anyone telling you that the Sun or Moon are real and that they are always there each day and night, do you? So how many times does something need to happen before it becomes just as real and normal to you? Things don’t have to happen in some big dramatic, flash of “wow” experience to be any more or less real.

Ashes and Snow

And when you are in stillness and silence, by conscious will you access the void of creation – that mysterious nothingness that came before something, but ceases to exist and always is. Living and experiencing is what I find most important and this includes going through all levels of experience and dipping in and out of the void.

Taking responsible action in direct relation to your chosen role and path is part of experiencing and comes directly after your journeying the void. I have seen many people who continually self-induce the void because they prefer the knowing discomfort of this place, rather than take an out-of-comfort-zone action to move forward in ways that will benefit not only themselves, but the greater good.

So if you find yourself in a down-dipping space, or even just feel leveled out on a plateau and can’t see how you’re getting out of where you are or what’s next, try your best to just take that time to rest, be at peace within the chaos, listen deeply, and tell yourself you are in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing always and you will experience the result of this sooner, rather than later.

Evolution and expansion is an inevitable and consistent part of your human journey. It baffles me why we think we can avoid this and try so hard not to experience the brief growing pains, but rather enjoy the temporary, delusional sustainment of known discomfort. Many seem to prefer to continue to self-medicate or keep drugged up on all kinds of substances, rather than brave the withdrawals into empowered authenticity.

You will continue to expand again and again, as soon as, and each time, you learn to master the environment of experience you find yourself currently in. Assimilation and integration will be the strength of your wings to fly higher and farther.

Over my life, I have developed a deep respect for the void. Just as much as I respect my choice to be a human being, alive and creating.

And this song below by David Tolk (a favorite of mine) titled, “In Reverence” is to me such a perfect energetic reflection of what the void feels like to me.

When I listen to it, it brings up so many mixed feelings all at once that are both filled with despair and hope. And that is the beauty of the void. It is nothing and everything.

To me, the song reflects a long, emotionally exhausting, but immeasurable journey, the grieving of what once was, and remembrance and reverence for the perfection of all that came before leading you to this now moment.

You then turn around and face the door of this old house you’ve lived in for so long, lock the door taking with you all that you’ve learned that is of value, and with all hope and faith mustered from within, you walk down the unknown path. You then reach bravely for the doorknob of the new house before you, open, and walk through with deliberate steps into a new, more expansive world you have chosen to experience instead.

You then feel the warmth illuminate your heart, as the door closes behind and immeasurable inspiration and joy bursts from the same tears that once were shed in grief, but now rejoice.