Monthly Archives: September 2026

Tania Marie: At the Threshold of Autumn

There are moments when life seems to gather its threads together so quietly that I don’t recognize the pattern until I am standing inside of it.

September 15th would have been Astrid’s birthday, and three years since my soulmate rabbit left her physical body, our relationship continues to find its own language.

That morning, the language came right to my back door.

A black bear standing beside a tree in a forested area with dry grass and pine cones on the ground.

A young black bear appeared on the deck, followed within minutes by one of the wild rabbits who lives here.

Bear and rabbit.

On Astrid’s birthday.

A small rabbit sitting on a wooden surface with dry grass in the background.

The bear was also my eighth sighting in just a couple of weeks. When I explored the symbolism, I found the idea of a gathering phase—a time of accumulating wisdom, patience, and inner strength before a deeper cycle of introspection and renewal.

But Astrid apparently wasn’t finished.

Later that day, I suddenly felt the impulse to message a friend at the Denver Gem and Mineral Show and ask her to look for two very specific crystal rings.

Among hundreds of stones spread across vast tables, she found the exact two sitting side by side.

And between them was a ladybug.

My friend then shared an extraordinary story about how ladybugs had become deeply meaningful to her as signs of connection with loved ones who have passed. Only afterward did I tell her it was Astrid’s birthday.

Some moments invite us to explore their meaning.

And then there comes a point when the heart simply knows.

I carried the magick of that day with me into a long weekend in the Bay Area, stepping outside our usual routines for a refresh through different scenery and simply allowing life to move differently for a few days.

A woman with long, wavy hair wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat and a green top, smiling in a grassy park setting.

I’ve been thinking about how unfamiliar places can turn up the volume on what is already speaking within us.

Away from our usual routines and reference points, what resonates can become more alive, while what doesn’t can become harder to ignore. A new place doesn’t necessarily give us answers. Sometimes it simply changes the acoustics enough that we can hear ourselves more clearly.

And then, while hiking yesterday at Mt. Diablo State Park, another messenger appeared.

A magnificent buck was resting quietly in the shade directly upon the trail, almost hidden until we were close enough to see him.

A male deer resting on the ground near a bush, showcasing its antlers and calm demeanor.

He didn’t startle or run.

He simply watched.

When we drew closer, he rose gently and began walking ahead of us, repeatedly turning to look back before continuing down the trail and eventually disappearing up the hillside.

A male deer with antlers standing in a dry, grassy area near bushes.

With his full antlers illuminated like a crown within the branches, he looked like a king of the forest.

Later, exploring some of the symbolism associated with the buck—sovereignty, higher awareness, gentle strength, and mature embodied power—something about the encounter landed even more deeply.

He had been resting when we found him.

Power spacious enough to rest.

And when the time came, he simply rose and moved ahead.

I couldn’t shake the feeling:

I’ve been waiting. Now follow.

Not an invitation to rush toward the future, but something quieter. A reminder that perhaps what lies ahead doesn’t need to be chased or completely understood.

We gather. We listen. We embody what we’ve learned.

And when the moment comes, we move.

Which feels like a fitting place to arrive on the threshold of Autumn.

The Autumn Equinox is tomorrow.

There is something about this season that feels like both gathering and release. We gather what has ripened and nourished us while allowing what has completed its season to fall away.

Perhaps gathering and release aren’t opposites at all.

We gather what strengthens us.

We loosen our hold on what no longer needs to remain.

And somewhere between the two, space opens for what is quietly preparing to emerge.

A woman standing in a golden field with rolling hills in the background, wearing a blue top, a long orange skirt, and a straw hat.

Soon the colors will begin popping in the Sierra Nevadas, and I’m excited for that brief, brilliant transformation when the mountains become their own celebration of golden change.

I feel that threshold strongly right now.

October will carry me back to Egypt, and I’m becoming increasingly excited to return to a land that continues to open new layers within me each time I arrive.

And alongside that return, another circle has quietly completed.

Our April 2027 Returning to the Temple of the Heart pilgrimage is now officially full.

Four beautiful souls have heard their own call to join Mody and me for this intimate journey, and my heart is full knowing the circle has come together exactly as it has.

Smiling woman with long hair wearing a straw hat and blue shirt, standing in a natural landscape with trees and hills under a partly cloudy sky.

For now, I’m simply enjoying this threshold.

Astrid weaving her magick.
A refreshing change of scenery.
A crowned buck walking ahead.
Autumn preparing her colors.
Egypt calling again.

Life gathering and releasing in its own mysterious rhythm.

And me, listening for what wants to come next.

Tania Marie: When Life Is Moving Where We Cannot See

I had been doing things in the garage last Thursday when I heard the unmistakable sound of wings against glass.

At the window was a tortoiseshell butterfly, fluttering again and again, trying desperately to find her way outside. The weather had suddenly turned cold and autumn-like, and she seemed exhausted by the effort.

Then I noticed another butterfly nearby.

She was lying completely motionless on her side.

Her wings were folded flat against one another. There was no movement that I could see.

I thought she was dead.

Something in me wasn’t quite ready to leave either of them there, so I carried them both into the warmth of the house.

I began giving Reiki to the butterfly who was still visibly struggling. I placed the other gently on the counter beside me, close enough that I could tend to them both.

For several minutes, nothing suggested that I had been wrong about her.

And then she moved.

Within moments, the butterfly I had believed was dead was not merely alive.

She was flying.

There was an exuberance to her that astonished me, especially because only moments before there had been no visible indication of life at all.

Soon both butterflies were flying toward the window.

A person holding a vibrant orange and black butterfly in their hand, with a background of indoor plants and natural light.

I held out my hand and they climbed onto me. The butterfly I had thought was gone was now so full of life that I gently cupped my other hand around her to keep her safe, while the second remained freely on my hand.

I carried them both outside.

The moment I opened my hand, the butterfly I had thought was gone launched herself into the sky with extraordinary gusto.

And then came the second surprise.

The butterfly who had been fighting so hard to escape the garage didn’t leave.

She remained with me.

A close-up of a vibrant orange and black butterfly resting on pink flowers in a garden.

Eventually I placed her gently on a flower. She stayed there for a long while before moving deeper into the plant, nestling herself into its protection.

A brown butterfly resting on a vibrant pink flower, surrounded by green foliage.

When I finally walked away and left her to whatever she needed, I noticed the time.

1:11.

I returned later.

She had flown, too.

What We Cannot See

The reversal of those two butterflies remained with me all day.

The one who appeared finished contained an exuberance I couldn’t see.

The one who had been fighting so hard to move forward needed stillness.

Neither one’s outward appearance revealed what was actually happening within.

And something about witnessing them together felt profoundly connected to what has been moving through my own life.

I’ve been walking myself through possibilities lately that feel both immense and not yet fully visible. I’ve been praying for guidance. Asking for signs. Listening closely while allowing questions to remain questions longer than my mind sometimes prefers.

And the responses have been coming.

Not as one enormous answer.

Piece by piece.

A convergence of six bears surrounding the recent eclipse.

Dreams.

Synchronicities.

Unexpected encounters.

A piece of obsidian that unmistakably mirrored an ancient arrowhead.

Moments of knowing that arrive before I can explain what I know.

And now, two butterflies.

The very next day, another unexpected presence joined this unfolding tapestry. For the first time, I encountered a Western toad—a magnificent little being, large enough to fill the palm of my hand, who I discovered had quietly made his home beneath our deck.

A large toad resting on forest floor debris, surrounded by fallen leaves and twigs.

There was something beautifully fitting about finding yet another life that had been there beyond my awareness.

After everything that has been moving alongside me, I began to recognize a deeper thread running through it all.

Transformation. Resilience. Grounding. Renewal.

A camouflaged toad resting on a bed of pine needles and dried leaves beside a wooden surface.

But beneath even these was something more profound:

The unseen is not the same as the absent.

Life can be gathering, forming, healing, and becoming in places beyond our perception. Something can be profoundly alive before we have any evidence of its existence.

And sometimes what appears suddenly before us has not suddenly begun at all.

We have simply arrived at the moment when we are finally able to see it.

And then, on the third day, came another bear.

A black bear walking near a car in a rural area, with vegetation in the background.

The seventh I had encountered in only ten days—something unprecedented in my experience.

He appeared unexpectedly as we were finishing a hike, only to become frightened by passing cars and run desperately across the road. For a moment he took refuge on the lawn of a nearby home before becoming frightened again and running back toward the forest.

Even when his path brought him remarkably close to people, he seemed hardly aware of them. His attention was entirely on finding safety.

A black bear walking across a grassy area with trees and a road in the background.

The animal we so often imagine ourselves fearing was himself afraid, interested only in finding his way back to peace.

Once again, what appeared on the surface told only a fraction of the story.

Three days.

Three encounters.

Each quietly overturning what the surface seemed to say.

The butterfly who appeared dead contained extraordinary aliveness.

The toad who appeared suddenly had been quietly living beneath my everyday world all along.

The bear we might instinctively fear was himself moving through fear.

I don’t experience these things as instructions telling me exactly what to do. They feel more like an ongoing conversation teaching me something about trust itself.

Not necessarily telling me what will happen, but repeatedly reminding me not to mistake what I can presently see for the entirety of what is happening.

The guidance isn’t giving me a map.

It is changing the way I walk without one.

The Present Appearance Is Not the Whole Story

These encounters have been changing the way I think about what is visible.

We are so accustomed to reading what we can see.

Moving means progress.

Stillness means nothing is happening.

An open door means possibility.

A closed one means no.

Evidence means something is real.

Its absence means it isn’t.

Yet life continually reveals how incomplete these conclusions can be.

A seed beneath the Earth does not look like a flower.

A butterfly lying motionless on her side did not look like something that would soon burst into flight.

And something within our own lives can be moving toward expression long before we have anything visible to prove that movement exists.

Trust, then, becomes something very different.

It isn’t convincing ourselves that a particular outcome will happen.

It isn’t pretending to know what we cannot know.

It is recognizing how little the present appearance can tell us about what is still possible.

That distinction feels important to me.

Because there are places in my own life where I can feel something moving before I can see its form.

Possibilities that feel alive without yet being tangible.

Potentials I am learning not to dismiss simply because I cannot point to evidence of what they will become.

And increasingly, the signs arriving around me don’t seem interested in telling me the ending.

They keep returning me to the relationship I am building with the unknown.

Life Knew What to Do

There is another part of Thursday’s encounter I keep returning to.

I didn’t know how to make either butterfly fly.

I couldn’t know whether the one I thought was dead would live or whether the struggling one would recover.

All I could do was offer what was mine to offer.

Warmth.

Reiki.

My hand.

A flower.

Time.

And then allow life to do what I could not do for it.

There is something here I want to remember.

We can care deeply without controlling what happens next.

We can create loving conditions without demanding an outcome.

We can participate wholeheartedly while leaving room for mysteries that don’t belong to us to manage.

One butterfly needed warmth and then immediately took to the sky.

The other needed warmth, a hand, a flower, and more time.

Neither was behind.

Neither needed to follow the other’s timing.

Each contained an intelligence I couldn’t see from the outside.

And when each was ready, she flew.

This feels like one of the miracles I am being asked to recognize right now.

Not simply that something I believed was dead came alive before my eyes.

But that life can be moving most powerfully in the very places where I cannot yet see its next movement.

I don’t need every answer in order to meet that mystery.

I can offer what is mine.

Listen.

Love.

Participate.

Trust.

And leave enough room for life to astonish me.

Close-up of a vibrant orange butterfly with black spots perched on a flower, surrounded by greenery.

May this Virgo New Moon nurture the quiet seeds within you, creating fertile ground for what is ready to take root, grow, and reveal itself in its own perfect timing.

Tania Marie: A Life That Feels Like Mine

A woman standing on a rock near a waterfall, wearing a black tank top and pink skirt, with long hair and tattoos.

There are moments when I look around and recognize myself in the life I am living.

And lately, I recognize myself more than ever.

Not because everything is figured out or because life has taken some perfect shape.

I simply feel more me.

A woman with long hair smiling while sitting inside a hollowed-out tree trunk, surrounded by rocks and greenery under a blue sky.

Bare feet on warm stone. Crawling inside the hollow of an ancient tree. Following water because I want to know where it goes. Stopping for enormous mushrooms. Swimming in cold mountain lakes. Climbing over fallen trees instead of always taking the easiest way around them.

Roaming the Egyptian desert with sand in my hair and sun-kissed skin. Ancient winds moving through me. Climbing through pyramid chambers and crawling through sandstone caves. Immersing in oasis salt pools and freshwater springs. Standing beneath vast, clear starlit skies, feeling the celestial world somehow closer. Following these ancient landscapes that lead me more deeply into my own.

A person walking through a vast sandy desert landscape with gentle dunes and a clear sky.

Laughing. Exploring. Getting dirty. Sitting still.

A person standing barefoot by a tranquil lake, wearing a colorful tie-dye dress, with a backdrop of lush green trees.

Nature has held an extraordinary kind of space for this becoming.

Recently, while watching a mama bear remain quietly present as her cubs ran, climbed, wrestled, and played, I understood protection differently. Her strength wasn’t constricting their experience. It was creating the conditions in which their joy could safely unfold.

I realize the wild has been doing something similar for me.

It has given me room to discover what happens when I protect the space for my own joy. When I follow curiosity without needing to justify where it leads. When wonder is allowed to matter. When I let myself be fully inside an experience rather than measuring what it produces.

A woman kneels by a tree in a forest, smiling while holding a large mushroom. She wears a brown jacket and colorful patterned pants, surrounded by greenery and rocky terrain.

And somehow, the more I live this way, the more of myself I meet.

There are potentials within me that feel as though they have been waiting like cicadas beneath the Earth—not absent, not unfinished, simply alive within their own mysterious timing.

A young woman wearing a colorful dress stands against the trunk of a large tree in a park, with greenery and distant trees in the background.

Perhaps that is what excites me most.

Because even while I feel more myself than I ever have, I can sense there is still so much more of me waiting to emerge.

A woman with long, dark hair poses beside a large tree, wearing a colorful sundress and a necklace, smiling softly at the camera.

There is another part of this unfolding I feel deeply, too.

The fullness of my personal power and the gifts I carry have been on their own journey of becoming.

Some of what lives within us isn’t immediately visible, even to ourselves. It can exist like a seed carried quietly by the soul, holding something far greater within it than its small form would ever suggest, waiting for the conditions that invite it to break open.

I feel this happening through some of the choices I am making now.

Through saying yes to experiences others might dismiss, question, or simply understand differently. Through returning to Egypt and following a relationship with that land that continues to awaken something within me I cannot fully explain, yet know intimately.

These yeses aren’t about proving what I believe to anyone else.

They are about becoming willing to discover what might blossom when I stop requiring the deepest parts of myself to make sense outside of me before I allow them to live through me.

A woman standing on a log near a pond, wearing a green top, a brown jacket, and colorful patterned pants, surrounded by trees and natural scenery.

I am learning to nurture what has been hidden rather than question why it hasn’t emerged sooner.

To cultivate the seed rather than demand the flower.

A person standing inside a hollowed-out tree stump in a forest, surrounded by tall trees.

To create the conditions in which my gifts feel safe enough to unfold, while also finding the courage to walk with them into the unknown—even when the unknown doesn’t feel safe or certain.

Because sometimes safety isn’t something we find before taking the next step.

Sometimes we discover it by taking the step.

By meeting the fear. Moving through the uncertainty. Saying yes without knowing exactly where the yes will lead.

I am realizing that creating safety within myself doesn’t mean protecting myself from the unknown. It means becoming a place within myself that I can trust while I walk through it.

A person sitting on a large rock by a serene lake, surrounded by trees and boulders, under a partly cloudy sky.

And perhaps that is how some of our deepest potentials finally find their way into the light—not because fear has disappeared, but because we become willing to carry what is emerging through the places that once might have kept it hidden.

Increasingly, the invitations seem to arrive through the most unlikely things.

A tree hollow.

A strange stone.

A trail I’ve never walked.

An ancient land that keeps beckoning me back.

Something that makes me curious.

Even something that frightens me a little.

I’ve begun to see the places where question or fear arises differently. Not always as reasons to turn away, but sometimes as catalysts asking whether I am willing to become a little braver about what else could be possible.

I don’t need to know exactly who I am becoming.

I would rather keep creating enough safety within myself for her to surprise me.

To protect the joy.

Follow the wonder.

Brave the unknown.

And keep dancing with possibility without ever losing my willingness to believe in what I cannot yet see.

A woman with long hair sits on the edge of a lake, wearing a colorful, sleeveless dress. She is smiling while resting her hand on a tree root, with a scenic backdrop of trees and mountains.

Maybe that is why this life feels so much like mine.

There is finally enough room in it for all of me to keep arriving.

And perhaps there is an invitation here for you, too.

To notice the places in your own life where you are feeling more alive as yourself. To recognize what has opened, honor what you have had the courage to follow, and feel gratitude for the ways your life is beginning to feel more deeply your own.

And where you sense something within you still waiting for more room, simply notice that, too.

Where might life be inviting more of you to arrive?

A Little Egypt Update

And speaking of following what calls us into the unknown, with September now here, the final days to join us for Returning to the Temple of the Heart in Egypt are approaching.

Our private April immersion is nearly full, with the final available place currently being held for someone considering the journey. Depending upon their decision and our room configurations, there is a possibility we may be able to welcome one additional person.

If Egypt has been quietly calling to you and you are still considering joining us, please reach out. We will begin a waiting list either way so that we can connect with anyone who feels a genuine pull toward this experience should a place become available.

Final registration deposits are due September 22.