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Tania Marie: At the Threshold of Autumn

There are moments when life seems to gather its threads together so quietly that I don’t recognize the pattern until I am standing inside of it.

September 15th would have been Astrid’s birthday, and three years since my soulmate rabbit left her physical body, our relationship continues to find its own language.

That morning, the language came right to my back door.

A black bear standing beside a tree in a forested area with dry grass and pine cones on the ground.

A young black bear appeared on the deck, followed within minutes by one of the wild rabbits who lives here.

Bear and rabbit.

On Astrid’s birthday.

A small rabbit sitting on a wooden surface with dry grass in the background.

The bear was also my eighth sighting in just a couple of weeks. When I explored the symbolism, I found the idea of a gathering phase—a time of accumulating wisdom, patience, and inner strength before a deeper cycle of introspection and renewal.

But Astrid apparently wasn’t finished.

Later that day, I suddenly felt the impulse to message a friend at the Denver Gem and Mineral Show and ask her to look for two very specific crystal rings.

Among hundreds of stones spread across vast tables, she found the exact two sitting side by side.

And between them was a ladybug.

My friend then shared an extraordinary story about how ladybugs had become deeply meaningful to her as signs of connection with loved ones who have passed. Only afterward did I tell her it was Astrid’s birthday.

Some moments invite us to explore their meaning.

And then there comes a point when the heart simply knows.

I carried the magick of that day with me into a long weekend in the Bay Area, stepping outside our usual routines for a refresh through different scenery and simply allowing life to move differently for a few days.

A woman with long, wavy hair wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat and a green top, smiling in a grassy park setting.

I’ve been thinking about how unfamiliar places can turn up the volume on what is already speaking within us.

Away from our usual routines and reference points, what resonates can become more alive, while what doesn’t can become harder to ignore. A new place doesn’t necessarily give us answers. Sometimes it simply changes the acoustics enough that we can hear ourselves more clearly.

And then, while hiking yesterday at Mt. Diablo State Park, another messenger appeared.

A magnificent buck was resting quietly in the shade directly upon the trail, almost hidden until we were close enough to see him.

A male deer resting on the ground near a bush, showcasing its antlers and calm demeanor.

He didn’t startle or run.

He simply watched.

When we drew closer, he rose gently and began walking ahead of us, repeatedly turning to look back before continuing down the trail and eventually disappearing up the hillside.

A male deer with antlers standing in a dry, grassy area near bushes.

With his full antlers illuminated like a crown within the branches, he looked like a king of the forest.

Later, exploring some of the symbolism associated with the buck—sovereignty, higher awareness, gentle strength, and mature embodied power—something about the encounter landed even more deeply.

He had been resting when we found him.

Power spacious enough to rest.

And when the time came, he simply rose and moved ahead.

I couldn’t shake the feeling:

I’ve been waiting. Now follow.

Not an invitation to rush toward the future, but something quieter. A reminder that perhaps what lies ahead doesn’t need to be chased or completely understood.

We gather. We listen. We embody what we’ve learned.

And when the moment comes, we move.

Which feels like a fitting place to arrive on the threshold of Autumn.

The Autumn Equinox is tomorrow.

There is something about this season that feels like both gathering and release. We gather what has ripened and nourished us while allowing what has completed its season to fall away.

Perhaps gathering and release aren’t opposites at all.

We gather what strengthens us.

We loosen our hold on what no longer needs to remain.

And somewhere between the two, space opens for what is quietly preparing to emerge.

A woman standing in a golden field with rolling hills in the background, wearing a blue top, a long orange skirt, and a straw hat.

Soon the colors will begin popping in the Sierra Nevadas, and I’m excited for that brief, brilliant transformation when the mountains become their own celebration of golden change.

I feel that threshold strongly right now.

October will carry me back to Egypt, and I’m becoming increasingly excited to return to a land that continues to open new layers within me each time I arrive.

And alongside that return, another circle has quietly completed.

Our April 2027 Returning to the Temple of the Heart pilgrimage is now officially full.

Four beautiful souls have heard their own call to join Mody and me for this intimate journey, and my heart is full knowing the circle has come together exactly as it has.

Smiling woman with long hair wearing a straw hat and blue shirt, standing in a natural landscape with trees and hills under a partly cloudy sky.

For now, I’m simply enjoying this threshold.

Astrid weaving her magick.
A refreshing change of scenery.
A crowned buck walking ahead.
Autumn preparing her colors.
Egypt calling again.

Life gathering and releasing in its own mysterious rhythm.

And me, listening for what wants to come next.

Tania Marie: When Life Is Moving Where We Cannot See

I had been doing things in the garage last Thursday when I heard the unmistakable sound of wings against glass.

At the window was a tortoiseshell butterfly, fluttering again and again, trying desperately to find her way outside. The weather had suddenly turned cold and autumn-like, and she seemed exhausted by the effort.

Then I noticed another butterfly nearby.

She was lying completely motionless on her side.

Her wings were folded flat against one another. There was no movement that I could see.

I thought she was dead.

Something in me wasn’t quite ready to leave either of them there, so I carried them both into the warmth of the house.

I began giving Reiki to the butterfly who was still visibly struggling. I placed the other gently on the counter beside me, close enough that I could tend to them both.

For several minutes, nothing suggested that I had been wrong about her.

And then she moved.

Within moments, the butterfly I had believed was dead was not merely alive.

She was flying.

There was an exuberance to her that astonished me, especially because only moments before there had been no visible indication of life at all.

Soon both butterflies were flying toward the window.

A person holding a vibrant orange and black butterfly in their hand, with a background of indoor plants and natural light.

I held out my hand and they climbed onto me. The butterfly I had thought was gone was now so full of life that I gently cupped my other hand around her to keep her safe, while the second remained freely on my hand.

I carried them both outside.

The moment I opened my hand, the butterfly I had thought was gone launched herself into the sky with extraordinary gusto.

And then came the second surprise.

The butterfly who had been fighting so hard to escape the garage didn’t leave.

She remained with me.

A close-up of a vibrant orange and black butterfly resting on pink flowers in a garden.

Eventually I placed her gently on a flower. She stayed there for a long while before moving deeper into the plant, nestling herself into its protection.

A brown butterfly resting on a vibrant pink flower, surrounded by green foliage.

When I finally walked away and left her to whatever she needed, I noticed the time.

1:11.

I returned later.

She had flown, too.

What We Cannot See

The reversal of those two butterflies remained with me all day.

The one who appeared finished contained an exuberance I couldn’t see.

The one who had been fighting so hard to move forward needed stillness.

Neither one’s outward appearance revealed what was actually happening within.

And something about witnessing them together felt profoundly connected to what has been moving through my own life.

I’ve been walking myself through possibilities lately that feel both immense and not yet fully visible. I’ve been praying for guidance. Asking for signs. Listening closely while allowing questions to remain questions longer than my mind sometimes prefers.

And the responses have been coming.

Not as one enormous answer.

Piece by piece.

A convergence of six bears surrounding the recent eclipse.

Dreams.

Synchronicities.

Unexpected encounters.

A piece of obsidian that unmistakably mirrored an ancient arrowhead.

Moments of knowing that arrive before I can explain what I know.

And now, two butterflies.

The very next day, another unexpected presence joined this unfolding tapestry. For the first time, I encountered a Western toad—a magnificent little being, large enough to fill the palm of my hand, who I discovered had quietly made his home beneath our deck.

A large toad resting on forest floor debris, surrounded by fallen leaves and twigs.

There was something beautifully fitting about finding yet another life that had been there beyond my awareness.

After everything that has been moving alongside me, I began to recognize a deeper thread running through it all.

Transformation. Resilience. Grounding. Renewal.

A camouflaged toad resting on a bed of pine needles and dried leaves beside a wooden surface.

But beneath even these was something more profound:

The unseen is not the same as the absent.

Life can be gathering, forming, healing, and becoming in places beyond our perception. Something can be profoundly alive before we have any evidence of its existence.

And sometimes what appears suddenly before us has not suddenly begun at all.

We have simply arrived at the moment when we are finally able to see it.

And then, on the third day, came another bear.

A black bear walking near a car in a rural area, with vegetation in the background.

The seventh I had encountered in only ten days—something unprecedented in my experience.

He appeared unexpectedly as we were finishing a hike, only to become frightened by passing cars and run desperately across the road. For a moment he took refuge on the lawn of a nearby home before becoming frightened again and running back toward the forest.

Even when his path brought him remarkably close to people, he seemed hardly aware of them. His attention was entirely on finding safety.

A black bear walking across a grassy area with trees and a road in the background.

The animal we so often imagine ourselves fearing was himself afraid, interested only in finding his way back to peace.

Once again, what appeared on the surface told only a fraction of the story.

Three days.

Three encounters.

Each quietly overturning what the surface seemed to say.

The butterfly who appeared dead contained extraordinary aliveness.

The toad who appeared suddenly had been quietly living beneath my everyday world all along.

The bear we might instinctively fear was himself moving through fear.

I don’t experience these things as instructions telling me exactly what to do. They feel more like an ongoing conversation teaching me something about trust itself.

Not necessarily telling me what will happen, but repeatedly reminding me not to mistake what I can presently see for the entirety of what is happening.

The guidance isn’t giving me a map.

It is changing the way I walk without one.

The Present Appearance Is Not the Whole Story

These encounters have been changing the way I think about what is visible.

We are so accustomed to reading what we can see.

Moving means progress.

Stillness means nothing is happening.

An open door means possibility.

A closed one means no.

Evidence means something is real.

Its absence means it isn’t.

Yet life continually reveals how incomplete these conclusions can be.

A seed beneath the Earth does not look like a flower.

A butterfly lying motionless on her side did not look like something that would soon burst into flight.

And something within our own lives can be moving toward expression long before we have anything visible to prove that movement exists.

Trust, then, becomes something very different.

It isn’t convincing ourselves that a particular outcome will happen.

It isn’t pretending to know what we cannot know.

It is recognizing how little the present appearance can tell us about what is still possible.

That distinction feels important to me.

Because there are places in my own life where I can feel something moving before I can see its form.

Possibilities that feel alive without yet being tangible.

Potentials I am learning not to dismiss simply because I cannot point to evidence of what they will become.

And increasingly, the signs arriving around me don’t seem interested in telling me the ending.

They keep returning me to the relationship I am building with the unknown.

Life Knew What to Do

There is another part of Thursday’s encounter I keep returning to.

I didn’t know how to make either butterfly fly.

I couldn’t know whether the one I thought was dead would live or whether the struggling one would recover.

All I could do was offer what was mine to offer.

Warmth.

Reiki.

My hand.

A flower.

Time.

And then allow life to do what I could not do for it.

There is something here I want to remember.

We can care deeply without controlling what happens next.

We can create loving conditions without demanding an outcome.

We can participate wholeheartedly while leaving room for mysteries that don’t belong to us to manage.

One butterfly needed warmth and then immediately took to the sky.

The other needed warmth, a hand, a flower, and more time.

Neither was behind.

Neither needed to follow the other’s timing.

Each contained an intelligence I couldn’t see from the outside.

And when each was ready, she flew.

This feels like one of the miracles I am being asked to recognize right now.

Not simply that something I believed was dead came alive before my eyes.

But that life can be moving most powerfully in the very places where I cannot yet see its next movement.

I don’t need every answer in order to meet that mystery.

I can offer what is mine.

Listen.

Love.

Participate.

Trust.

And leave enough room for life to astonish me.

Close-up of a vibrant orange butterfly with black spots perched on a flower, surrounded by greenery.

May this Virgo New Moon nurture the quiet seeds within you, creating fertile ground for what is ready to take root, grow, and reveal itself in its own perfect timing.

Tania Marie: There’s Beauty in all Phases of the Journey

We’re just about to embark again – duration unknown – to do some caretaking. We’ll be making a road trip out of it and breaking up our drive with an overnight in Mammoth to hike before continuing on to my birth place of Southern California. We’ll return before or by Thanksgiving.

Leading up to this we’ve been able to enjoy some walks down Summer’s lane, as the weather provided us wonderful opportunities to immerse in our beloved activities.

Weather has continued to swing back and forth, providing us extended days filled with hiking, biking, and even a perfect kayaking day.

Just look at these amazing conditions on the crystalline waters of Lake Tahoe.

In between it all we’ve been handed some reminders of the actual season we’re in, mixed with cold, rain, frost, and even snow at the mountain tops.

Temperatures seem to be dipping just as we leave and looks like a more pre-winter chill will be in the air upon return.

It’s all brought up the mushrooms and even this field of giant white beauties.

As I, and all of us, go through our own unique and profound transitions, so, too, does our Earth Mother.

Leaving behind the warmth and brilliant bosom of blooms, she embraces the mysterious darkness and elegant cloaks of fallen wisdom, making way for frosted shawls of wintry wonder.

Seasons change and so do we.

There is much to both let go of and to remember.

The light of day fast surrenders to the dark of night so that we experience more connection to the rhythms of Earth and Cosmos in harmony.

This is a celestial event of spirit in flesh, where deepening sacredness overflows from the cauldron of our hearts.

It can be illuminating when we surrender and have the courage to retrieve what’s been forgotten.

Our vulnerability is empowering and clarifying.

Yesterday, we came upon a sight that stopped my heart in its tracks. I did take a photo to remember it, but won’t share it since it would be emotionally traumatizing for some.

We found a perfect wild cottontail rabbit body on the side of the trail, without her head. There was no blood, no signs of anything except a clean cut of a missing head. I picked her up and buried her, totally mesmerized by her beauty and perfection, and the feeling of her sweet fur, thumpers, and tail. It has been a while since I’ve held a rabbit and of course I identify with them.

Without going into personal details of this, I’ll simply state that it reflected to me a renewal of self and transformation of identity.

Later, I was curious to look this up and had my feelings confirmed, along with these symbolisms: death of the old self (way of thinking/being), a “silent” beginning (one that is embodied rather than spoken), living even more from intuition/instinct/feeling rather than intellect/overthinking, and even a sacrifice for the new self.

Autumn Equinox brought equanimity within and without and of all opposites that light and dark might reflect to each of us.

And when things stand with conscious awareness of this reflection, the sweet intricacy of every thread becomes as valued as the whole web of All That Is.

It is a most miraculous and beautiful thing to exist indeed.

Every day I feel immense gratitude for the air I breathe and the beauty all around me. I don’t take for granted that there are varying experiences across the globe and that what I am able to see, feel, and immerse in is an astounding gift.

It is this very reason I share these gifts, so that they might touch, inspire, or bring some level of hope and belief in some way to whom ever needs it in the moment they see these windows or read my words.

We are bridges for one another and that is most beautifully made possible through the vortex of our hearts – the gateway to harmonic convergence and our multidimensional potential. 

Enjoy these reflective windows into my garden of life ~ our days here in the alpine region of the Sierra Nevada Mountains, our recent Taurus Full Supermoon, a harvest of some Autumn blooms (I’ll be harvesting a ton of lavender soon), and the bed of plants and blooms in their transition.

There’s beauty in all phases of the journey.

And here’s a sweet peak at two new, magickal crystal beings that are now available:

Crystal Friends for All Seasons

Reaching for the Sunshine and a Warm Thank You

Even though we continue to experience days of snow and we are getting out to ski still, Spring is pushing through here in the high mountain altitudes. It’s so exciting to see all my iris, tulip and daffodil bulbs reaching for the sunshine across our yard. They are eager to join the dance in celebration of the Equinox here shortly.

My birthday irises being the first to blossom, as you know, but the others are not far behind. And there’s much more on the way than what I captured here to share with you.

Soon it will be garden time. I have a ton of wildflower seeds ready to join last year’s perennials I planted and I’ll of course pick up some new beauties to add to what will return. My garden and garden tower are already showing signs of returning growth. It’s always fun to see what surprises the Fae of the land have in store.

Every season has so much enchantment, mystery, and gifts to offer – each reflecting our inner landscapes and sharing with us the answers to how we can more effectively align with life.

And speaking of life alignment, I was unable to share this video thank you the last time, but forgot I could upload it to my YouTube Channel. So, I pasted it in below, as it was important to me to connect more personally with each of you here as well, to extend deep gratitude to everyone sharing interest and courage to join this space and invite me to walk with you.

The five month immersives that I refer to can be found here, along with how to move forward with applying:

The Mentor Muse ~ Guiding Inspiration for Life’s Work Alignment

The video was taken last week, right before the New Moon in Pisces and Sunday’s Intuition Class, but the message of gratitude is timeless.

Immersives begin the week of April 12th and March 20th is the last day to turn in applications – that’s now only two days away. I’m processing the last ones I’ve received so far, today and tomorrow, and it looks like two of the three spots are filled currently.

Stay tuned for a little Spring Equinox surprise.