In Life & Death, “Joy” Is Always There

I felt guided to recount my last days and what I experienced with my rabbit, Joy, through video share rather than writing a long account. It felt to be a more personal, transparent, and vulnerable way to do so, while also the way of honoring that felt most resonant. While I didn’t share every detail, it is still a long video, and is a way to express what has happened to all who have been asking, wondering, and have shared concern, a way to process more layers of my integration with it, and a way to be of assistance to others that are going through loss, as well as to help understand these natural and yet magickal cycles.

The video was shot in one succession of recount, however due to its size I was cut off during it and had to re-record immediately where I left off, multiple times. Due to that, there may be a couple of words where the videos are threaded together that are lost, but the general message should all be there and I did my best to pick back up and repeat where I left off.

I didn’t know how it would come through, nor prepared for it, so what ever was meant to I believe did.

Here is the video share from my heart:

There are a few things I wanted to add that are beautiful memories for me, which I’ll do so interspersed with some beautiful photo memories of Joy in her last days (which you’ll find at the end) and over time, here below.


I mention in the video that I knew this was coming for Joy, I just didn’t know the exact time until the day of her passing. That morning I knew she was leaving and said that to both Dave and Janet, who was still around at the time. I knew she wouldn’t make it through that day, but there were different scenarios that could play out and I was only concerned with the path of least pain for her and to honor her wishes, so going to any extent was necessary in my mind, which ended up being driving nearly 2 hours to create the alignments necessary.


But a few days before her having more issues and my taking her in for surgery, I had a dream. It was more involved than what I’ll share, but I don’t remember anything more than this.


In the dream she was a giant bunny, the same size as me. It was her, but there were also some elements of Nestor in her. I remember her taking her paws and back legs and wrapping them fully around me, and then me doing the same with my own arms and legs, leaving us in a giant embrace and snuggling one another like a big bear hug – my face immersed in her soft fur.


I felt her immense love in this human-sized hug and when I woke I knew she was wanting to let me know that she appreciated all of my efforts, that she knew I was doing all that I could, that she loved me so much, and for me to know she was preparing to leave.


So, things from there were not surprising and it was definitely no coincidence she chose a cosmic portal and full moon to bridge her journey to the beyond.


To demonstrate Joy’s ever-giving love and devotion to being of service, while she was ill, just before I was able to get her in to have surgery, I wanted to give Dave a Reiki healing attunement for things that he was going through and in the middle of the attunement, Joy hopped over and helped out. She went to his right foot and nosed him, sitting there flowing Reiki to him along with me until I was done. Something Nestor also used to do. I managed to capture a quick photo in the midst of things, as I wanted Dave to see how much she loved him and had been helping out despite her own challenges.


Another beautiful moment was after her surgery when I went in to see her to take her home and she immediately licked my hand to greet me. She is not a licker like Cosmo, as this is a new expression of affection for her of recent, so it was quite touching. Again, I knew she was thanking me for helping to ease her physical pains with the surgery and also sharing her love and happiness to see me.

Cosmo and JoyJoy and Cosmo3love

I mentioned in the video that my friend Christopher, who had joined on my sacred journey to Peru last March for the Equinox, was supportive through the process…synchronously Joy had chosen to transition in Bozeman, Montana where he just so happened to live and so there was divine alignment in his being there for me, as I had been there for him in Peru, which was incredibly beautiful.


Not only was I able to stay at his house, since I had to drive an hour and 45 minutes to get her to the ER there, but he was with me when I received the news, drove me back to say goodbye to her physical body and make arrangements for her ashes, gave me a moss agate healing pendant gift that has been supportive through the process, and then continued to provide his loving friendship and connection during our days in Bozeman, which included an epic hike in honor of Joy and to send out energy to the collective through a crystal grid (more on that in an upcoming post).


I will never forget the last day I had with Joy where I stayed home with her and basically laid on the floor next to her for hours snuggling and petting her, trying to syringe feed, hydrate, and give her meds so she didn’t have pain, and playing music to her while I sang from my heart. I left her for only about 45 minutes to an hour to take a walk on the lake where we were staying, check in on Janet’s dog, Daisy, stay grounded and balanced, and to do a sound channeling, which I shared already called – Preparing the Way.


Music, sound, and singing seemed to be the theme for our last day together, as that continued on the long car ride to the ER, and has been a connective thread to our relationship over all of the years she’s been with me.


I picked up Joy’s ashes when we officially landed in Bozeman, this past Sunday and it was an emotional release again when I brought her ashes to Dave waiting in the car.


He had not been there, as we were apart when she passed, so it was emotionally unleashing for him and we shared some tears and I found myself comforting him, rather than needing the comfort myself due to my integrating the processes that have been leading up to this unfolding.


Synchronously, Joy’s doctor texted me right after I picked up her ashes. He’d called me the night of her passing and now was checking in on me and how I was doing and how Cosmo was with everything, as we had discussed him as well in our hours of talking.


He had even offered help and consulting for Cosmo if ever I needed it. He definitely was going way beyond the call of any duty, as he is truly an angel. He wanted me to continue to keep him posted about Cosmo and told me he thought I was a special soul and beyond any doctor client thing, if ever I was back in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, he would love to meet and connect again, and give me another hug in person. ❤


Just a couple of days before receiving Joy’s ashes we spent an evening having refreshments on Yellowstone River, reminiscing about Joy and reviewing all of her life over sweet and funny photos and videos I have stored on my phone – the only photos I keep on my cell phone are nearly 500 photos of Joy and Cosmo. 🙂


It has definitely been a celebration and honoring of both her life and death, but mostly just about her eternally beautiful, joyous, sweet, and magnanimous soul.

I mentioned in a previous post about the special bottle pendants I had the foresight of getting to house some of the ashes of all three of my bunnies that I would keep – the rest to spread on the Earth where I felt led. Yesterday, on the day I made this video while Cosmo was in surgery, I also transferred Joy’s ashes to her bottle.

I am guided that I will be spreading the rest of both Nestor’s and Joy’s ashes somewhere. The place for Nestor is known and perhaps Joy will be with her, or somewhere else maybe in Montana since she chose this state and I’ve felt Montana was important for a while, not knowing why. I have spread Nestor’s ashes in many sacred places across the globe, but feel the journey is complete and all will come to rest somewhere shortly. The same with Joy’s.

It is time for them to both fully be released.


Joy’s passing to the otherworld is definitely the end of an era in my life and the beginning of a new one.

Here is the sweet way that Joy’s ashes were presented to me in a little flower tin marked “Joy Marie” inside a velvet bag with a card that has wildflower blooms inside of a heart to plant in her honor and quotes about the Rainbow Bridge, along with these:

…love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. ~Khalil Gibran 

Grief never ends…but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of LOVE ❤


I am grateful to have known, cherished, and been present with the depth of love and my love for Joy before separation. Separation simply reiterates its magnitude I will never lose feeling of.

I have experienced the passages of grief, coming to honor and embrace its beauty and significance and I share my vulnerability through those passages, as my testament of that love and trust continuously expanding.

GAM_9305 web

About Tania Marie's Blog

Creating life as a work of art with a magick rabbit by my side. I remember my song. Do you? Artist, Author and Reiki Master Teacher with over 30 years' experience in creative healing arts and metaphysical studies. Tania inspires people globally to return to natural harmony, draw forth imagination to manifest dreams, embody creative empowerment, and live more magickally and abundantly from their most natural frequency – in essence, Tania helps you to remember your song.

Posted on June 29, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Such a beautiful dream you had of her. So beautiful of her that she sought to help Dave even while she herself was so ill.

    Warmest blessings, Tania.

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss, and yet I know you spent an amazing time together! What a wonderful dream. There’s so much love in all your sharings. Bless you, Tania Marie, and Joy Marie.

    • thank you so very much ❤ yes, we shared quite the earthly years together…full and rich indeed! i was so grateful for that dream. she and i communicated telepathically – many times through dreams – so it was very special. love and hugs to you ❤

  3. When my dog moved on…I had a dream that I went with him to a certain point in a huge field of wild flowers and other dogs were jumping and going to somewhere…heaven 😉 and he turned around and barked that I couldn’t go any further for it was now his journey alone and that he loved me…what a gift…the best …and so you too know this…such a blessing to bond and love…thank you for your many heart felt moments you share…I feel I am right there with you 😉 blessings friend

    • that’s a lovely dream you had with your sweet dog…so beautiful the connection we share with our dear soul friends and guides. you’re so welcome…love sharing and taking others along the journey, as we are all connected. ❤ love and blessings

  4. Such a touching eulogy that I’m glad you decided to share That amethyst cathedral that Joy is posing with is really astonishing.

    As an aside, I am not surprised in the least that we have the same Robin Wood Tarot deck! 🙂 I got mine when I was 19, and I never really resonated with any other deck. 24 years later, it’s still in pretty darn good shape! 🙂

    • thank you so so much! i felt it important to share the emotional process vulnerably, as i feel people have many challenges, fears, and judgments around expressing feelings or how to move through them. did you notice that the amethyst geode she is by is shaped like a rabbit? very cool on having the same deck 🙂 i’m not surprised either..glad yours is still with you and in such good shape…mine is in good shape too after all of these years, but does have little teeth marks on the edges from nestor and joy picking cards 😉

      • Very true, but even though I understand, support and encourage the emotional process in others (because I see the damage it does when it’s dammed up), that doesn’t mean I can manage it so well, myself. It’s often a lot harder for the guys, due to social conditioning etc. 😦 I’ve gotten somewhat better at it, but such a long way to go yet.

        I did notice the rabbit shape! Are you its guardian? The teeth marks probably make the deck all the more valuable, right? 😀

      • i understand and do agree that it can be more challenging for guys, and yet because you are so aware and open and supportive of this process, you have already engaged the shifting, which is huge and supportive to other men as well to do so. just take it a step at a time and make sure to acknowledge the work and progress you’ve already done, as i imagine you’re in a much different place than you once were.

        i WAS the guardian of the amethyst rabbit, but it went to a new guardian just last march…it was the end of an era, as all things are, and it was ready to move on. i miss it, but i also know that things change and to not attach to it, but support it on its journey.

        yes! i agree that the teeth marks are priceless! ❤

  5. I know you’ll love this. I now have two clients who are rock collectors. I met the second today, scheduled as a follow-up only with no intention to see her more than a few times (I do something like triage, which means seeing people while they are on the wait list, which is weeks long, if the intake specialist thinks they need to be seen sooner). Anyway, I arrived, and she had all kinds of cool rocks arranged by her front door. So that was a great ice-breaker. She then mentioned “My whole house is gridded with rocks and stones.” And the next thing I knew, 2.5 hours had flown by. 🙂 I managed to get the basic follow-up stuff done by exerting self-discipline…so I at least did my job, technically. LOL. But the client said it was therapeutic in and of itself just to sit and “talk shop” with someone who doesn’t think she’s crazy. 🙂

  6. I am just returning to the virtual world after a bit of a break, but during my time away waves of love were flowing through me for you and your beloveds. And now after seeing your update I understand the greater ‘why.’

    Your video reminds me…that which is lovely never dies, but only transitions into greater loveliness!

    How beautiful, reflective and perfect the portal she chose to transition through being the time of greatest light. Sweet Joy what a joy you are in deed! You are loved!

    Tania, Dave, Cosmo and kitties – I am thinking of you and sending you all much love.

    • i so appreciate your constant love and supportive energy treesa. you were indeed connected in heart with us. i love your reflection and agree wholeheartedly ❤ i get chills each time i think of Joy's timing she chose, and as you said, how perfect, brilliant, and magickal to choose this portal of "greatest light". i love that so much for her and just makes it all so much more beautiful. we all appreciate greatly your thoughts and love. sending you a warm hug full of love right back ❤

  1. Pingback: Cosmo’s Message & Mission ~ A Journey of Greatest Compassion | Tania Marie's Blog

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