Waking up to Jack Frost’s sneak appearance heralded an interlude blog post before returning to the shares lined up in my intuitive queue. 😉
I’ve continued to experience strange, but mysteriously beautiful and odd things, as well as powerful messengers, findings, and even dreamscapes – both my own and of me appearing in other people’s dreams they share with me.
Coyote continues to cross my path – she just did again two days ago – I found another Algiz Rune in the forest (below), discovered nearly half of a transitioned female mallard duck, and held space for my dear Cosmo, whose birthday it just was four days ago.
Finding the female mallard came right after seeing mallards swimming in the pond with only one duckling. The others may not have made it, but then seeing the one female dead was like a rebirth cycle right before my eyes.
Bones and transitioned animals always seem to find me amongst other discoveries. It appears to be my role as a bridge to also witness and hold space for the natural cycles. I honor every one I find in their own way, bury, do energy work, and receive the messages.
Finding the female mallard also spoke to my own shifts and rebirthing I feel underway, although the form is unknown as to what will unfold.
The enchanted and mystical sightings of late on hiking trails hold promise that whatever does, will be in divine flow. In these times, having these supportive messages has brought much needed comfort.
There’s a sacred feminine aspect transmuting across the collective. It is this depth I’ve been navigating recently as to its merging with the new.
The winds of change indeed keep blowing and in fact we have Spring snow blanketing everything today. It came in late yesterday and continues on as I write this. We’re at about five or six inches where we are and more up at the mountain tops.
So, yes, just as the blooms begin to pop along the trails here, a Spring snow storm blows in. Continuing in the theme of “expect the unexpected” these beauties you see in all the photos from yesterday, above and below, are under a little snow blanket today that tucked them in last night.
The weather shifted mid-hike yesterday and as we climbed up the trail with full lake view the whole way, we watched as the clouds started to engulf the north end of the lake and edge toward us. On our descent, the warm sunshine turned to brisk wind and clouds.
There were so many beauties starting to emerge, including the very first wild irises, and to think this is just the beginning though is incredible, as there will be so many wildflowers everywhere in all varieties from miniature for only faery eyes to see, to large and center stage for all eyes to gaze upon.
Indeed you know I stop to smell all the flowers and marvel at their beauty. Their time in the sunlight is fleeting so I embrace every moment I have to experience them when I can. You never know what’s coming next and the time you’ll have to enjoy something. “Do it now” is my way of living life fully.
A Spring snow blanket now casts its wand of enchantment everywhere and actually feels so perfect for what I’m experiencing within, as the waves of intensities and softness ebb and flow. Cocooning in reflection and transformative incubation is where I find myself still, so it doesn’t surprise me that Jack Frost is still sneaking about. In fact, I find him comforting.
That’s also mountain life for you, as if you choose to live in the mountains of any region, nature and weather patterns are ever-changing, moment-to-moment. That’s the beauty of why we live here and personally I have found every change to be consistent with my inner world. Perhaps it is for others, too, even if they choose not to embrace it.
But the element of surprising changes is also reflective of the unpredictability of these times and we can either fight or flow with – the latter being more like Mother Earth.
There’s a constant cycling of death and rebirth, mourning and renewal happening, but with everything speeding up, it all seems as though it’s intensified more than usual. I continue to hear of the loss of loved ones, including animal companions, everywhere and even if one is not experiencing these literal physical losses it may come in the form of symbolic transitions within certain areas of our lives or certain aspects of our individuality and human expression.
Many souls are not meant for the new frequencies coming in and others are able to support the new frequencies far better from off-planet. And even their transition itself aids the shifts in motion, as everything carries an energy signature and key codes that are connected to the whole continuum of what is in momentum.
A lot of transitions continue as the Earth collective recalibrates and everyone decides, on a soul level and within their divine contracts, where their role is most useful. If we only identify as human, this can all be confusing and devastating. When we begin to soften our scope into curious exploration of more than just these physical bodies, we start to understand a bigger picture at hand.
We are mourning and celebrating every moment.
Having experienced the worst loss in my life has helped prepare me for every loss that’s come after and helped me transmute them as the gifts, rather than punishments, that they in fact are. That doesn’t mean our human hearts don’t feel pain, but every feeling is a portal to The Great Mystery.
As I ride another wave of complex and contrasting energies, I see that we’re in the doorway of the next Lunar cycle and so everything I’ve been seeing around me and feeling within doesn’t feel out of sorts.
I’ve always been extra connected to Earth and her cycles – in fact since I was young, I’ve actually seen how I’m tied into her expressions including earthquakes and shifting weather patterns. Interestingly, we’ve felt quite a few earthquakes over the last month or so that have taken place on the California side. We live on the Nevada side, but these recent shakes have echoed inner shifts and my own “letting off steam” during processing. We actually had never really ever felt any rocking and rolling while living here in the years now, or previously. And suddenly 4 to 5 rumbles have rolled in closer proximity and I found it reminiscent of years ago when I would have something huge change in my life or an epiphany happen and boom!
But like the blossoms that have emerged, I have in fact felt a softening of the rough edges to collective energies I’m transmuting. I am also taking steps to amp up my energetic boundaries, do some intentional personal spell castings of my own, and getting my hands in another faery kitchen alchemy creation from yesterday’s gorgeous manzanita harvest – the last of the season.
I don’t know what it is about these blossoms, but they really touch my heart and feel like the perfect ingredients needed right now. I managed to harvest eighteen cups this time of the sweetest little faery blossoms that tickle my heart. And as the snow falls today, I’ll be cooking up batches of delight with them.
With a heart full of gratitude, I thank the Elementals of the land for their gifts and blessings. All I want to do these days is immerse in the richness of Earth all around me. Thank goodness for the bounty of nature we live in. There is nothing to complain about and everything to be thankful for.
There’s been a plethora of enchanted and mysterious little finds, including a bunch of portals and vortex areas like these:
I’ve definitely been anchoring more into my inner Forest Witch lately.
Finding this incredible giant tree root creating a witchy throne portal full of deep mystery and powerful energy, was just the perfect activation.
This coming Wednesday the 26th ignites the Sagittarius Super Blood Moon Total Lunar Eclipse – this Full Moon is also known as the Flower Moon (synchronous to all the wildflowers in bloom right now) and will undoubtedly continue to inspire a plethora of blossoming transformation in our lives.
It’s a time to be explorative and adventurous, add variety – the spice of life to our lives, communicate with clarity, be open to possibilities and options beyond your limited scope, stay open minded in general, release attachments to anything rigid and that blocks you to your wholeness, and embrace the potential for emotional cleansing that leads to renewal.
Full Moons are a time for taking stock of all you DO have to be grateful for and to be extra mindful of all that you complain about day-to-day and moment-to-moment.
How might you refocus that attitude to be more effective in actually funneling energy toward change, rather than constantly spinning a web of negativity and limited perspective? Everything that bothers you holds the alchemy needed to free you.
Look at what needs a little clean up in your life and pluck things out so you can recreate more with conscious intention.
Try to recognize the good in your life and all the blessings around you, including the people around you who despite any perceived shortcomings have their own challenges they face relative to their life path, which we have no idea about since we’re only here living out our own – and may not even really connect the dots to all of that ourselves.
This is a time to reflect and then plant literal and symbolic seeds, then water them with more true, unconditional and compassionate love.
I’m noticing how so many conscious souls are finding themselves in this “recreating self” mode of visioning and embodying new expressions that are most soulfully and heartfully aligned with essence. And this seems to involve a huge rush of expansive possibilities excitingly knocking on the door. So many potentials, so many doors….the question being which to open, and in direct connection, which to close? There are so many potentials to choose from and the beauty is, you can create any reality you want, as the energetic environment is fertile for sure! The key is to make that first choice to take a step forward, which is usually the largest hurdle and may be the one causing the most challenge or fear.
Sure, there is timing, alignment, and flow to be mindful of and definitely honoring that fluidity of energy right now that can shift at the drop of a gnome’s hat, so everything is really about an organic process that reveals itself moment to moment by being in natural harmony with all things.
But there is also that fear hurdle – fear of making the wrong choice, fear of the new, fear of stepping into your most authentic footprints yet, fear of not succeeding, fear of vulnerability in bringing forth the most truest heart parts of yourself into the world in big ways, fear of letting go of what has been comfortable and you’ve become expert at, fear of saying no to opportunities that “seem” different or play on your “service mentality” making you think “what if” this is an exception you can still be involved in, fear of not knowing if what you’re choosing is the end result you want…..and the list goes on.
I know for myself in terms of fears this also equates to my boundaries. I’ve always been one to give and want to help, not had any boundaries as a Pisces, and have spent lifetimes in service roles, and yet now I’m rewriting the idea of “to serve” into something more like “showing up authentically and living from the highest frequency of my soul signature” which automatically is for the highest good of all concerned without having to differentiate and without giving up personal power by placing one, if even by definition, in a subservient or martyr role.
I say “no” to everything that doesn’t feel to feed my creative freedom and joy right now. I stay consistent with that no matter how much something pulls on my heart strings, as I know that when I make the move forward into the new, the old will come at me in many forms and disguises simply because it’s the natural process of cleansing and bringing it up.
If I let one thing in, then the old gets in in slippery ways.
Has that brought up stuff for me? Of course!
Has it challenged me? Definitely!
Have I felt the fears of walking away from successful things? Sure!
But what I found is the more I consistently committed to saying “no” and honoring my boundaries in a truly compassionate way which accounts for true responsibility for the highest good of all concerned, the easier it has been and it becomes crystal clear what is the new and the old, what is the me now and the me then.
So I keep moving forward and the old’s power diminishes, while the strong becomes fortified and my courage and conviction for what I know to be of truest expression to myself grows.
I’ve risked walking away from successful things and even likely having people think I’m crazy, but I’d rather be me than doing something that drains me or that appeases others ideas.
I keep saying no to so many requests from potential clients, because I know in my heart that my heart is not there anymore.
And like many of you, I’ve had that quandary of not knowing where to begin…having so many irons in the fire of ideas and potentials. But as I explored each of them, I discovered where the energy was most speaking to the now, which would likely lead and open doors to more, including the rest, and which currently was the most passion-fulfilling and heart connected in this moment of joyful expression and what was aligned with the collective new reality I’m helping to cocreate.
And so I started there, knowing there is no ONE end result, but it is all an unfolding process that I listen to the energy of in each moment.
I/we need to take a step and the rest unfolds from there….there isn’t a wrong choice. There’s just choice.
If you can’t figure out which speaks most to you, just try one and see if the energy flows, or if it gets blocked and then you’ll be led to the next step.
Or, you’ll discover yourself totally immersed in flow and passionate expression and know you’re in the perfect place for now.
But the Universe waits for you to make a choice and then aligns with you, and that choice will also be evident by the energetic environment and what seems to be showing up, flowing most easily, and likely has had signs thrown at you that you might be ignoring since you are waiting for how all of the things you see will come together now.
That is a process. It all IS happening now, but in a different way than you think.
So the first fear hurdle is making a choice. Once you do that, you will see how things flow and open and become easier to navigate, to feel/see more clearly, and understand.
And yes, I have my own personal vulnerabilities and fears of the new, or rather the self-doubts that creep up. But I’m happy to say that they are outweighed and outlived by my trust in the energy I feel that surpasses the doubts now.
So while they can come into my experience now and then, I am easily able to walk myself through them within minutes and understand them as indication of my willingness to see them and move through them, while also indicating a new found strength, courage, and commitment that is running the show now, rather than the doubts or insecurities.
It’s truly a beautiful process when we partner with ourselves and our subconscious and inner child. We can have honoring and compassionate conversations that result in pure alchemy.
So while in essence the new I’m focusing on is within the umbrella of the creative me I’ve always been expressing, they are new ventures and perhaps in some ways not exactly how people imagined I’d bring it forth. Although, once I do, my guess is that because it is so aligned with my essence, people will likely say, “oh yeah, of course that’s Tania!”.
And yet there is that risk of greater and greater vulnerability to put out there the more we dig deep into the well of our souls and bring it forth publicly.
That can be scary, but it is inevitably freeing and liberating, as you release the self-bondage that’s been heavily carried all these years, or perhaps lifetimes and draining your energy to truly shine and share with the world.
Do I know if what I will create will be what is known in the world as “successful” or equal what I’ve done that was “successful”?
No, but I know it is a success if I’m doing exactly what I know in my heart I’m wanting and needing to do and doing it simply for the sake of it’s being the breath of life for me and not spending and wasting time on trying to figure out how that equates in any other way, as to me that takes care of itself when we are authentically being.
That is MY idea of success….when I’m living a life from my heart and every day is a joy to be expressing myself and experiencing my version of reality.
So that brings us to mourning.
When we’re creating the new we may go through a process of mourning the old….whether an old way of life, a relationship, any kind of experience of loss, a job, a home, or a part of ourselves.
This is natural and goes along with the fear process, as when we mourn, we may also have fears brought up that go hand-in-hand with it of thinking we will never again experience something like that again or that it never gets any better, that you’ll never experience what you want, etc.
And the truth is, you won’t experience something like that again.
But you’ll experience something better, which you can’t imagine right now from the place of your current, natural mourning, cleansing, and releasing of the old process.
Everything is relative to where we are currently.
The new is only possible to experience in the essence of our imagination, but will be even better than what you envision.
I always intend things to be “this or something better,” as I never limit myself to what I am only capable of seeing/thinking/imagining at the moment, as possibilities are unlimited.
But yes, we will mourn and that is something to honor for sure, while having gratitude for all that we’ve experienced and have been blessed with whether seen as gifts or not – because they all are and have helped us get to this point – and we will go through that human heart process of temporary growing pains for sure.
Let it flow….and it will flow through.
I have this going on in very literal ways with processing my own mourning of Cosmo, not long after mourning Joy – my two rabbit best friends and wise teachers who recently transitioned within four months of each other.
And they, to me, represent the passage of an old era of me, and mourning so much more than the beautiful physical companionship we shared.
Joy especially ended a time period of my life since she came into my life over 7 years ago when so much was shifting for me.
And Cosmo ended another huge shift in my life that came to closure with the new self-discovery journey and the Magick Bus explorative adventure to move energy into the new.
And yet they both knew exactly when to leave this Earth plane, as I’m embarking on the new and they’ve ingrained the knowing of my soul path most deeply to prepare for what’s coming. They know how best to support me from the other realms for magickal assistance and channeling.
With each passing of my beloved soul companions – Nestor, Joy, Cosmo and Gaia the tortoise, I’ve always thought I’d never have that connection again, and yet each time I did and it deepened.
Yes, I’ve been challenged in my heart, even though I know with all my heart and soul they are with me so strongly and not gone at all. I’ve had a lot of mourning with Cosmo especially due to our daily intimate connecting on a constant basis that was very physical as well as spiritual.
But the sadness is true alchemy for me, as I channel it all in greater depth of creative self expression and even deeper knowing of myself and my path and this shows up in what I bring through me, as it does for us all.
It is through the beauty of mourning, which reminds me of Gaelic “keening” that one’s exquisite soul expression comes to graceful surface. Keening is a deep soulful, eerily beautiful lamenting song that is expressed by women in Ireland and Scotland at funerals and in honor of the “dead”.
And so, I keen a song of honor of all that was and is, as a beautiful and divine tapestry that brings us to the culmination of all that IS in the now.
Through acknowledgment and embrace of our fears, through the natural process of grieving, through loving ourselves and honoring what is in our hearts, through courageous steps, we make leaps into the new.
You do not have to see the end result.
You do not have to know how this story will unfold.
You simply need to get writing it.
As they say, a writer writes…..If you want the new to take form, then get writing it, one word, paragraph, and page at a time.
It gets easier as you let the “stuff” gently glide off your shoulders. You don’t need to carry it with you forward. If you hold onto the weight, your wings can’t open and take to flight.
I’d like to see you fly. I’d like to see us all fly.
And so the best way I can do that is to open my own wings.
I felt guided to recount my last days and what I experienced with my rabbit, Joy, through video share rather than writing a long account. It felt to be a more personal, transparent, and vulnerable way to do so, while also the way of honoring that felt most resonant. While I didn’t share every detail, it is still a long video, and is a way to express what has happened to all who have been asking, wondering, and have shared concern, a way to process more layers of my integration with it, and a way to be of assistance to others that are going through loss, as well as to help understand these natural and yet magickal cycles.
The video was shot in one succession of recount, however due to its size I was cut off during it and had to re-record immediately where I left off, multiple times. Due to that, there may be a couple of words where the videos are threaded together that are lost, but the general message should all be there and I did my best to pick back up and repeat where I left off.
I didn’t know how it would come through, nor prepared for it, so what ever was meant to I believe did.
Here is the video share from my heart:
There are a few things I wanted to add that are beautiful memories for me, which I’ll do so interspersed with some beautiful photo memories of Joy in her last days (which you’ll find at the end) and over time, here below.
I mention in the video that I knew this was coming for Joy, I just didn’t know the exact time until the day of her passing. That morning I knew she was leaving and said that to both Dave and Janet, who was still around at the time. I knew she wouldn’t make it through that day, but there were different scenarios that could play out and I was only concerned with the path of least pain for her and to honor her wishes, so going to any extent was necessary in my mind, which ended up being driving nearly 2 hours to create the alignments necessary.
But a few days before her having more issues and my taking her in for surgery, I had a dream. It was more involved than what I’ll share, but I don’t remember anything more than this.
In the dream she was a giant bunny, the same size as me. It was her, but there were also some elements of Nestor in her. I remember her taking her paws and back legs and wrapping them fully around me, and then me doing the same with my own arms and legs, leaving us in a giant embrace and snuggling one another like a big bear hug – my face immersed in her soft fur.
I felt her immense love in this human-sized hug and when I woke I knew she was wanting to let me know that she appreciated all of my efforts, that she knew I was doing all that I could, that she loved me so much, and for me to know she was preparing to leave.
So, things from there were not surprising and it was definitely no coincidence she chose a cosmic portal and full moon to bridge her journey to the beyond.
To demonstrate Joy’s ever-giving love and devotion to being of service, while she was ill, just before I was able to get her in to have surgery, I wanted to give Dave a Reiki healing attunement for things that he was going through and in the middle of the attunement, Joy hopped over and helped out. She went to his right foot and nosed him, sitting there flowing Reiki to him along with me until I was done. Something Nestor also used to do. I managed to capture a quick photo in the midst of things, as I wanted Dave to see how much she loved him and had been helping out despite her own challenges.
Another beautiful moment was after her surgery when I went in to see her to take her home and she immediately licked my hand to greet me. She is not a licker like Cosmo, as this is a new expression of affection for her of recent, so it was quite touching. Again, I knew she was thanking me for helping to ease her physical pains with the surgery and also sharing her love and happiness to see me.
I mentioned in the video that my friend Christopher, who had joined on my sacred journey to Peru last March for the Equinox, was supportive through the process…synchronously Joy had chosen to transition in Bozeman, Montana where he just so happened to live and so there was divine alignment in his being there for me, as I had been there for him in Peru, which was incredibly beautiful.
Not only was I able to stay at his house, since I had to drive an hour and 45 minutes to get her to the ER there, but he was with me when I received the news, drove me back to say goodbye to her physical body and make arrangements for her ashes, gave me a moss agate healing pendant gift that has been supportive through the process, and then continued to provide his loving friendship and connection during our days in Bozeman, which included an epic hike in honor of Joy and to send out energy to the collective through a crystal grid (more on that in an upcoming post).
I will never forget the last day I had with Joy where I stayed home with her and basically laid on the floor next to her for hours snuggling and petting her, trying to syringe feed, hydrate, and give her meds so she didn’t have pain, and playing music to her while I sang from my heart. I left her for only about 45 minutes to an hour to take a walk on the lake where we were staying, check in on Janet’s dog, Daisy, stay grounded and balanced, and to do a sound channeling, which I shared already called – Preparing the Way.
Music, sound, and singing seemed to be the theme for our last day together, as that continued on the long car ride to the ER, and has been a connective thread to our relationship over all of the years she’s been with me.
I picked up Joy’s ashes when we officially landed in Bozeman, this past Sunday and it was an emotional release again when I brought her ashes to Dave waiting in the car.
He had not been there, as we were apart when she passed, so it was emotionally unleashing for him and we shared some tears and I found myself comforting him, rather than needing the comfort myself due to my integrating the processes that have been leading up to this unfolding.
Synchronously, Joy’s doctor texted me right after I picked up her ashes. He’d called me the night of her passing and now was checking in on me and how I was doing and how Cosmo was with everything, as we had discussed him as well in our hours of talking.
He had even offered help and consulting for Cosmo if ever I needed it. He definitely was going way beyond the call of any duty, as he is truly an angel. He wanted me to continue to keep him posted about Cosmo and told me he thought I was a special soul and beyond any doctor client thing, if ever I was back in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, he would love to meet and connect again, and give me another hug in person. ❤
Just a couple of days before receiving Joy’s ashes we spent an evening having refreshments on Yellowstone River, reminiscing about Joy and reviewing all of her life over sweet and funny photos and videos I have stored on my phone – the only photos I keep on my cell phone are nearly 500 photos of Joy and Cosmo. 🙂
It has definitely been a celebration and honoring of both her life and death, but mostly just about her eternally beautiful, joyous, sweet, and magnanimous soul.
I mentioned in a previous post about the special bottle pendants I had the foresight of getting to house some of the ashes of all three of my bunnies that I would keep – the rest to spread on the Earth where I felt led. Yesterday, on the day I made this video while Cosmo was in surgery, I also transferred Joy’s ashes to her bottle.
I am guided that I will be spreading the rest of both Nestor’s and Joy’s ashes somewhere. The place for Nestor is known and perhaps Joy will be with her, or somewhere else maybe in Montana since she chose this state and I’ve felt Montana was important for a while, not knowing why. I have spread Nestor’s ashes in many sacred places across the globe, but feel the journey is complete and all will come to rest somewhere shortly. The same with Joy’s.
It is time for them to both fully be released.
Joy’s passing to the otherworld is definitely the end of an era in my life and the beginning of a new one.
Here is the sweet way that Joy’s ashes were presented to me in a little flower tin marked “Joy Marie” inside a velvet bag with a card that has wildflower blooms inside of a heart to plant in her honor and quotes about the Rainbow Bridge, along with these:
…love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. ~Khalil Gibran
Grief never ends…but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of LOVE ❤
I am grateful to have known, cherished, and been present with the depth of love and my love for Joy before separation. Separation simply reiterates its magnitude I will never lose feeling of.
I have experienced the passages of grief, coming to honor and embrace its beauty and significance and I share my vulnerability through those passages, as my testament of that love and trust continuously expanding.
On April 27th I celebrated the 8th anniversary of my beloved Nestor’s passing and during my time communing with her on our last day in Moab, Utah while hiking to Morning Glory Natural Bridge I asked for a message from her to share with others. This is what came through our connection via message and sound channeling, which was my way of honoring her, as well as sharing the profound wholeness our connection and the experience of physically losing her has gifted me. It’s our hope in some way it will be of support and help you with your own integrative journey through the experience of loss, sadness, and pain.
I first shared this earlier today via my May Newsletter, but given today’s experiences and some messages I received, I felt guided to post it tonight here.
It felt very vulnerable in sharing it and still does, but here it is.
There continues to be a lot of souls choosing to transition at this time (both in human and animal bodies) and many others experiencing recurring or new serious health challenges.
It really is beyond our solely human capacities to understand and grasp the why’s around this. Nothing makes sense to the heart that feels a sense of attachment to special souls in our lives and that wants greatly to have that physical closeness and tangible presence with us always.
And yet, we do grasp, at least in the conceptual way, that there is something beyond our understanding and that these souls, although depart physically, are truly never far from us.
It’s our emotions, attachments, and personal desires that struggle with this.
And it takes time to heal those wounds we feel and to come to a deeper place of resolve and peace that can’t happen because of what someone tells us, but happens when we begin to experience life and death in a different way – one in which Nature is lovingly reflecting to us daily.
There are seasons of the soul, just as there are seasons of Nature.
Everything is constantly renewing itself and transmuting itself.
And while death seems permanent to humans, in the Cosmic landscape it is a process of renewal, just as stars die and are reborn again.
Everything around us, on and off-planet, goes through this continuous cycle of “birth” and “death” constantly and yet we think nothing of that until it hits closer to home.
The more emotionally attached we are, and the more immediate environment of people and things we value are affected, the more challenging these natural renewals are to us.
Otherwise the “idea” of separation and distance, along with some cognitive dissonance sometimes seems to shelter us.
Although there are many of us who mourn the passing of trees and plants, as well as parts of Earth that have disappeared or been destroyed over time, for instance, it is mostly the ego attachments to who and what we hold closest that pose a threat to our emotional stability and our mental clarity when faced with that inevitable experience of someone physically leaving our lives.
I’ve written many times on my own experience with “death” that hit me closest to home for the first time with my twin soul, Nestor – the only experience that really asked of me to make peace with what I know beyond what my immediate feelings of attachment would have me otherwise believe.
And I know I will go through this process again with my precious little ones that are gracefully aging in Earth years, as well as others close in heart.
I’ve been able to feel immediate peace with other transitions around me, in large part because of what I learned through that experience with Nestor.
But I also seemed to have some rare, innate grasp of death from early on, as I remember sitting in a funeral of our most dearest family friend so very long ago (a friend who’s last name just so happens to have been “Nestor”) and leaning over to whisper to my brother, “I don’t understand why everyone is so sad. I feel we should be celebrating her.”
My nudge to post about this wasn’t to go into detail on the ways of processing this, as it really is an individual experience and when it feels unbearable, deserves your attention to work in a way that is supportive to your needs, and perhaps with someone who can help guide you through that so it doesn’t get to the point of your walking through life, lifeless, but instead you learn to thrive again as your loved one encourages, supports, and continues to do so from where they are.
My nudge was that this is happening a lot and is going to continue to amp up because of the tremendous shifts taking place on a grand scale.
And it’s going to involve people you would not even imagine it would happen to.
I’ve had more people than ever, closer to me, transitioning.
And they aren’t people you’d necessarily think would be, nor are they of any age you’d naturally link to their passing.
That is part of my reason of addressing this, to bring to light that there are reasons beyond your comprehension, as to why.
I’ve experienced several people transition recently including a grandpa, other family members and family friends, animals I knew intimately, a dear friend in his late 50’s, a man I once dated in his early 50’s, and a sweet friend only 39 who shared my birthday – 2/26.
The last two just transitioned recently in September and on December 20th.
Most of the people I know have passed via different forms of cancer – that’s the physical vehicle that assisted their soul’s transition.
And they, like many others, were living very spiritual lives.
In the case of my sweet friend who passed just nine days ago, she was the epitome of joy – a true sparkly Faery, love, embrace, gratitude, spiritual consciousness, was living her dream running a small b&b retreat center with her beloved soulmate husband in Hawaii, ate consciously, shared her gifts of art, healing, animal communication, etc. and yet despite everything, her soul was ready.
I’m happy to share she went in peace from what I heard.
From the outside people tend to judge things or have fears come up around situations seen only superficially.
How could someone be so conscious and still leave their human body?
How can such a condition have happened to them with all of their efforts?
What does this mean in terms of working towards being more conscious and growing in my own life, if there are no guarantees?
These are valid questions in terms of the ego fear within us and our conditioned ideas about things, but we fail to understand that each soul truly does have a choice.
Only that soul knows what their path is and when their time is done here.
In terms of people living consciously and embracing everything every step of the way until the end, these are people making peace with their soul essence that knows….they come to understand, or do understand something we can’t comprehend until we face the same or unless we have a connection to that knowing already.
With each of my dear friends, they all were at peace during their last months and when they passed. And they all came to personal resolutions and had opportunity to do that with others.
Does this mean every little aspect of their lives were some idea of perfect?
I’d have to answer with a question to that and ask, what does that mean exactly since life is whole in its perfect imperfection?
And secondly, you can have experiences and yet still come to a place of peace and resolve, and realize that’s all that was needed…so to let go is more than okay.
It’s a part of the spiraling cycle.
It’s surrendering to that peace found within everything experienced.
So although their physical condition seemed much like a violent attack, they stood at center of that and embraced it and were okay with what unfolded, either way.
In one of the cases, I know this firsthand, as I had opportunity to have a last conversation with one of these dear souls and it was just as I shared in terms of what I heard and felt in our exchange.
Souls know when they’ve completed what they came to experience.
They may even come to know they can do more from another state of existence now.
Through their human death they will leave a great opportunity for those around them to learn and expand from and understand their collective part in the bigger picture unfolding.
In many cases they come to find that sweet spot of truly understanding the beauty of life and death wrapped up in one, of the wonder in experiencing the bitter and sweet, depths and heights, and duality all at once.
They understand that state of transcendence and bestow their emanating vibration of this to those around them.
It is not something we have to wait until our physical death to experience.
We can make peace with it right here and now…to know and walk the beautiful path of harmony amidst the darkest hours of life and the brightest, and come to embody that state of gratitude for this ability to experience this – the gift we have as spiritual embodiments of this sacred merging.
This has been my state of most recent experience, I’ve likely in less public ways have been sharing a lot more of the extent of that with those dear to me…where I’m continuing to bridge that gap of being in “spiritual skin” and coming to know that state of peace more intimately now.
This continues to deepen and increase daily.
I have absolutely no fear of physical death.
I have complete peace with anything that could happen to me today or tomorrow.
I have complete peace with when I’ll choose that.
I have embraced living as fully as possible, as if it were my last day and don’t push off things I want to do or feel are important to my path to be doing, or express what I feel important to share.
I also remind myself, when I slip into stress of any kind, how unimportant any of it is and then focus back on what truly is of value.
I’ve felt death close at hand before and how fragile and easily that veil is lifted to pass through.
I’ve teetered on the edge between life and death where the line was but a choice within my inhale and exhale.
And I know when my time draws near that it will be in the perfect way my soul chooses, despite what that appears on the outside because our lives are not lived as islands unto ourselves. The way things play out always has purpose far beyond the obvious and will take place in the way most beneficial for the highest good of all concerned.
There is no right or wrong way. There is simply the way we’ve chosen to show up as our individual Cosmic song.
I don’t have to wait until the day of my own shift in physical reality to know this.
And neither do any of us.
The secret that these people hold who have passed seemingly abruptly and in some cases “shockingly,” despite any outside judgment on how that happened, is one we can walk through life with…not waiting until what ever afterlife you believe awaits.
- Gratitude for everything available in this gift of Earthly life you’ve come to experience.
- Inviting the shadow of peace that always walks beside, in front, or behind you to step back into your heart in the here and now.
We can still work towards changes we would like to create and put into action new ways and systems to shift things vibrationally and tangibly, but there’s also no reason that you can’t experience peace during that entire process and amidst anything that is happening while change is taking place.
The existence of all varieties of energies are a guidepost to your own peaceful resolve.
Through that, everything transforms before your eyes and in terms of how you experience life.
I celebrate all of the beautiful souls that are lighting the way.
So many are experiencing some very heavy and intense things right now, which includes the physical transition of loved ones in both human and animal form.
I just wanted to extend my heart to each of you, in complete understanding of the tremendous ache, emptiness, ripping of the heart, and what seems like an unrelenting challenge this can leave you with.
I know that nothing right now will ease the pain, as that is something only time can do.
And to that I can only say to allow yourself to mourn, to feel, reach out to others, and be gentle with yourself, just as your loved ones were with you, as they want you only to remember and embody the love.
These shifts are not to intentionally hurt, as there are far-reaching reasons our human emotions can’t wrap around at present, but in many cases can be to actually assist in your growth and shifts your loved ones can see before you do. It is one way in which our loved ones make the ultimate loving sacrifice to ever-gift us, even when it appears to be the cruelest form of infliction.
It is also a way for us to deepen our compassion and to truly honor the journey each soul has to take.
There’s not a day goes by that I don’t miss my beautiful Nestor.
As time went on I felt her true and lasting presence in my heart deepen. That’s the timeless place I can go to merge with her, as this feeling, that kind of love, is nothing that can be taken away and it increasingly grows day to day.
And it is that expansive love that dwells within, which enables me to see and feel her presence reflected in every thing around me, and to recognize the continuous and unexpected gifts she bestows upon me.
Life is fragile and all we can do is live and love as fully as possible every moment.
Your beloveds have received and given that kind of all-encompassing and unconditional love from, and to you, and while their physical presence moves on into eternal expansion, none of that is ever lost or taken away. That is the preciousness that remains, long after they move on.
Sending love to you all and wishing you much peace to your hearts.