Tania Marie

Days move fast.

Time moves slow.

Flip of the hourglass and the reverse is so.

Layers upon layers are present in one drop of sand.

The seashore of my lineage builds and recedes with each memory come and gone.

And it all sifts through the vortex of my body like a grand oceanic wave of cosmic sparkle.

Everything blends into each other and duality is blurred.

Just as it always was, is and will be…the eternal One Heart is continuously stirred.

These words organically came through and like always, I just share what shows up in the flow of daily energy to lend to the experiences being woven through the collective tapestry.

Since our return home from our short road trip away, things have rapidly been unfolding and heightening in ways that mirrored the activity in the sky of geomagnetic storms, coronal mass ejections, and wide-spread Northern Lights sightings.

Although I’ve experienced all of this energy in personally energized and supportive ways, I know it’s been a mixed bag for many and I hope that it’s not too much.

And even though we have gone through a lot here in terms of major life changes with our family, I assure you I’m doing alright and am maintaining my balance and well being.

In fact, I’ve come to realize that I understand how to handle this thing called grief in a healthy way that helps me to be able to be there for others, including the soul that is transitioning.

I have been extra grateful for so much loving support for us all though. It’s a beautiful blessing to know you’re all so tenderly holding us in heart.

Before I jump into the main purpose of what will be a long post for sacred honoring, I just want to share about the energy of the days leading up, as everything always, for me, paints such a cohesive and integral picture of how held in love we really always are even when we may not think the world is going in our direction.

Great Mother energy has been coming up a lot in the last couple of weeks and of course that included Mother’s Day and a focus on prominent female figures and energy.

Amidst the changing landscape of our lives, we got to immerse in the love of family and celebrate the divine feminine that deserves recognition on more than just one day.

Beauty and love-filled nourishment surrounded us of course, compliments of both mom and dad, and I always value the time spent with my brother, as well, because of our rich and potent conversations that anchor in collective dynamics in very integrative ways.

We concluded our mother celebration with an evening of bunny yoga at the Mother’s Day event, which was both nurturing for the body and heart.

It was sweet to watch the bunnies being bunnies.

And I found myself doing rabbit adoption trainings the day after, as my role as counselor for Reno Rabbit Rescue becomes a regular part of my weeks. I feel like each time I do a training, I’m deepening into that Great Mother energy in the way that I advocate for the care of these beautiful beings in rabbit bodies.

And on Mother’s day morning, that abundant rabbit energy kicked off when a new visitor arrived at the Forest Portal. I was called to look out Sweet Pea’s favorite floor-to-ceiling picture window when a figure caught my eye near Frith’s safe little haven of bushes that guard his warren’s entrance. But this rabbit felt different from Frith.

I was taken in by this incredible being highlighted by a violet ray that was staring toward me, and the dark, almost tribal markings down their thin and mesmerizing face – markings different than those of Frith’s, including the ones on their body and even their coloring.

I felt feminine energy, yet prominent like the shamanic matriarch of otherworldly existence – just like Frith.

It felt uncanny that she was showing up just days after a sweet friend had asked if Frith had a family. I told her I didn’t know because I’d only ever seen one rabbit and it was the same face and essence – Frith.

I watched this beautiful creature who had a wise and not-just-rabbit presence, really observing to make sure of what I was seeing. And although carried similar shape-shifting essence to Frith, felt like a different rabbit.

At first it made me wonder if Frith was capable of moving in and out of different energy embodiments, but regardless, this was a feminine presence and that felt meaningful at this time.

I got very excited feeling that this very well may be Frith’s partner and it made sense that they’d both embody this beyond-rabbit essence. I was extra excited to think that they either have a litter of kits already or one will be on the way, since wild rabbits have babies between mid-February to September. The thought of a new generation from these two amazing souls delighted me greatly.

But it was the appearance of this Great Mother at this time that was so potent and aligned.

I named her Hyzenthlay – also from Watership Down.

The dark-eyed, brave, powerful and wise doe that escapes from Efrafa with the main character, Hazel, and becomes his mate.

Hyzenthlay’s appearance came on the heels of multiple daily sightings of Frith. And that has continued every day after as well.

This year is a full force Frith party. I’m seeing him at all hours – not just the usual dawn or evening ones.

There’s just so much excitement when he shows up, too. In fact, one day I was at my desk and caught a glimpse of him arriving into the garden and the next thing I know he was zooming back and forth with exuberance in the way I’ve only seen my indoor rabbit companions do when they are super excited.

I laughed out loud with joy and that joy deepens with knowing Hyzenthlay is by his side. Her presence seeming to be more elusive and mysterious. I love that.

In contrast, sadly, Mother’s Day eve we saw a beautiful dead doe on the road while making our way home. This felt foretelling of the clear messaging we received about Sweet Pea’s time to journey onward.

Many discussions had been taking place between us – Dave and me – and I did two rounds of tuning in with Sweet Pea. The first had presented us with her not quite being ready, that she had some fears she was working through and also that she was waiting for Dave to process things as well since she is his primary soulmate. And I talked with Dave, understanding what all of this meant, to help him work with things. She shared more and I imparted all of it for our ability to know her situation.

The second tuning in was clear – she was ready and gave me the date.

We spent our last three days doing special things together and being very present with each other. This included taking her on hikes and even a special evening in the enchanted faery garden.

In between things, Dave and I went on a short hike to process more and coyote was prominent again.

That same afternoon and evening brought a mysterious and magickal display of potent-energy thunderstorms, some rain, and quite the lightning show in the dramatic sky.

I went outside on our deck to watch it all shift before my eyes – each side of the sky a different evolving canvas of colors.

I was then gifted with the sighting of a rainbow peeking through the trees over the mountain in a purple and blue backdrop.

I watched as the lightning flashed its electric spark right through it.

Transformation was thick in the air.

Everything felt to be a perfect symphony of notes for the magnitude of Sweet Pea’s process, presence, and the impact that her final performance would have for our lives.

Even my tulips, daffodils and hyacinths seemed to be celebrating her, creating such a vibrant rainbow display of blossoms.

The tulips in particular – the first time I’ve had them – seemed especially connected to her and her energy. I mentioned that they looked to be creating a rainbow bridge for her to prepare the way.

It was evident her energy was waning and she would have bursts of vibrancy, then went back to her need to rest and reflect. She became increasingly in need of her mommy – me.

I think I mentioned how the dynamics shifted after Astrid left. Sweet Pea both wanted to comfort and heal me, as well as wanted to deepen her own bond we shared while Boojum needed Dave in his last months and days.

So Sweet Pea became very attached to me over the last eight plus months.

Another level of this I understood as her knowing I could handle things emotionally and that she could lean on me when for most of her life she’s always been the one to give of herself to everyone else. Indeed a selfless soul and unconditionally loving Great Mother to all.

In the last months and days she sought me out to play, comfort her, carry her everywhere, slept curled up next to me every night, and most importantly listen to her.

We’ve shared many deep conversations over our life together and this increased at the end.

She needed her mommy and I cherished the closeness she gifted me, as to be invited into her world was an honor.

She was not like Boojum who loved on anyone who would give him the attention he so desired.

Sweet Pea would stand back and feel everyone out. When she gave of her attention and heart, she really meant it and this spoke to both a trust and a promise to be there for you if in need.

She earns her name Sweet Pea indeed.

Even her tiny meows and purr-like growls were pure sweetness like a kitten’s. Sweet Pea always had a soft nature, unless she’d had it with her brother’s antics.

She would hold back a response until the energy built up enough, then she’d give him a big smack, hiss, and chase to let him know who was really in charge and enough was enough. She was the divine, compassionate mother and the tough love mother wrapped into one.

She was highly protective of her daddy and held to her promise of comforting and healing him all the days of their lives together. That contract was part of why she held on so long and what we had to release her from in order to know she had gone above and beyond her commitment. This was her time to do as she needed in the evolution of her essence.

She never demanded anything, but always kept watchful and wary eye on everyone’s well being. She would call you to the attention of someone in need – like Boojum – and even wrangle you up when it was time for bed. She was the all-loving mother and the all-seeing, wise grandmother. She would come to you if you were sad or in need of comfort, to give you healing energy by sitting on your chest or deeply gazing into your eyes with deep concern of acknowledgment.

One of my favorite things was when I’d watch a movie on nights Dave was away and she’d come lay on my chest and knead it with love and healing energy. It literally mesmerized me and I would melt into her touch.

She would never do what she thought was wrong and in fact would feel mortified if she faulted in any way. I had to help her to lessen up on these high self expectations. I recognized her because in many ways she reflected parts of me – both old parts I’ve released and others that I am conscious of continuing to transmute.

So we spent special days with her and the highlight was garden adventure day.

I got the idea that in between her hiking days we should take her into my garden so that she could explore and connect with the energy there, as well as imbue it with her softness and grace.

Our sweet little faery cat absolutely loved it and explored all my plants reaching for the Springtime sun, saying hello to the enchanted statues and faery houses, and slinked through the tall grasses and brush of the yard like a little bobcat.

She had a great time and we smiled so big to see her enjoy it all.

And we thoroughly enjoyed and cherished it too.

And she told us when she was done, by going up to the sliding glass door of my office and crying to let us know she was tired and ready to go in.

In fact, she also told me when she needed to pee by her little cries and big eyes, so that I could pick her up and put her in her litter box we brought outside for her.

She’s such a princess and good girl that she will absolutely not pee anywhere unless she has her box.

And on our last day, we took her to our special spot where we buried some of Boojum’s ashes and things so we could have a little ceremony with her and let her explore some more.

She had fun without her harness and prowled around like a little bobcat again.

Unlike Boojum she would never take off and likes to stay near us, so this granite outcropping area was perfect to let her have some time to herself and stretch her wild kitty paws into the feeling of freedom that awaited her.

We both had prepared something to share with her, just as we’d done with each of our babies, and read these out loud when she returned on her own to her little backpack princess carrier.

It was all perfect.

In our last hours before we awaited the earth angel who would assist her into her own angel wings, we just laid with her in our room where she sought out her favorite comforting sunshine spot.

I took this time to tune in with her and prepare her for the journey.

While laying next to her by the sliding glass door, she laid back into my face with her fur nuzzling me like a warm embrace.

After a while, she moved to the bench at the foot of our bed and there we spent the last hour and a half together.

Dave was doing yoga stretches and meditating next to me while I softly caressed Sweet Pea’s fur from shoulders to lower back without interruption for a full hour. And while I did so, I journeyed with her to the in between space and I showed her the beauty of both where she was headed and of herself.

It’s too much to share, but this whole process brought Sweet Pea to deep peace. So much so, she fell asleep. It was unlike her to lay still and not pull away, especially in these last days of needing time to herself and not always wanting to be touched like her brother Boojum – they had different ways. Dave noted this too, that it was so special she absorbed my touch and energy so much and if anything, went even deeper instead of retreating.

Sweet Pea fell so deeply that she began to twitch and dream. I knew she was with me in the vision space I had created and was making peace – nearly letting go. Her breathing was so slow and slight and at times would stop a while before another breath, that I thought she might actually go on her own. But instead, she was far away. And at one point, stretched her front paws fully out and then her back legs, and twitched some more. It was such a gift to see her so at peace and we knew she felt surrounded in love and security with where she was headed.

One thing I will mention about the space we were in, is the beautiful thing I experienced when she was readying to walk through the golden gateway.

I saw her morph from cat into this stunning being similar to human form, but with feline essence. She was an interdimensional beauty and shapeshifter with such grace and strength. I was grateful to have seen this larger part of her essence, which confirmed what I knew of her.

She was ready to fly.

The earth angel came knocking and then there was peace and lightness.

Sweet Pea returned to the dream space I had created with her and remembered the wings of her totality.

If you’re reading this now, we’ve already left on a road trip again, with a vibrant doe greeting us in the valley on the way out. The second side of the coin from Mother’s Day evening in discovering one dead.

With all the family changes in dynamics at home we felt that going away for a while would be most supportive, once our last child returned to the stars and Great Mother of all Creation. A way to process grief, build new experiences, connect and surround ourselves with loved ones, and shift the energy into the creation of a new era. And to have all of this Divine and Great Mother energy surrounding us recently, as you may recall from previous posts as well, holds us in the alchemical love perfectly supportive for that birthing.

We left the morning after Sweet Pea’s peaceful passing and I used some of the downtime when I wasn’t the one driving, to write this post as a memorialization for her and the sacredness around all of this. It’s very cathartic for me to do so and I’ve felt it to be an important part of the grieving process to both honor all of our fur children with these shares and as a means of closure.

We are now empty-nesters and this is a new experience for us both after so many years of fur children and life-impacting soulmate partners by our side. For me, twenty-one years of powerful rabbits and tortoise (as well as parakeets, tortoise and rabbit since I was twelve), and twenty-four years of powerful cats for Dave (as well as three dogs growing up).

The last eight and a half months have been a lot for sure, taking us through the transition of three extremely dear and life changing best friends, children, and guides – Astrid on August 30th, Boojum on March 26th, and now Sweet Pea on May 15th.

This shift is fitting, being that I entered a #9 personal year (in numerology) since my birthday and Dave will enter the same come his, because he follows after me.

This is a year of completion and closure, transitions, breaking free from the past, introspection, honing in on personal truth, discovering meaningful and conscious purpose for the new chapter ahead, emotional review, loss in order to gain spiritual richness, profound transformation from what’s been gleaned, and in essence a spiritual journey like that of the Hermit who awakens through a personal quest of inwardly guided wisdom.

Life and love goes on.

Cycles are fluid.

Grief is only possible because you care.

And the boundless spirit is present for us to experience in every expression of consciousness, no matter the form.

We’ll be away a little over a week and come June I’ll be sharing one last crystal skull release – a group that’s been wanting me to wait until that special month. There are also some new episodes upcoming for Talks With Crystal Skulls, a sweet story I was told to save until June as well, and I’m sure some changes up ahead. Summer Solstice celebrations and more, here we come!

Wishing you an expansive Sagittarius Full Moon.

Until then, celebrate each moment to the fullest extent possible. Each breath is precious.

I continue to feel like months are being wrapped up into just one day and oddly, while time I know is flying by, I’ve actually been experiencing a slow-down and stretch of each hour. That time and space thing is definitely flexing its amorphous nature, sharing how it’s not confined to the constructs we’ve created about it in our minds. Nor, is anything else for that matter.

And equally so is the fluid nature of weather, here, continually shape-shifting at a whim.

We went from Spring days and bulbs-a-blooming, to a surprise snow storm of Winter in May just this past Saturday – again.

That storm brought six plus inches to our forest home, covering my gumdrop-colored flowers in blankets of white.

Two days later, it melted and my flowers were resilient, and continue to burst with vibrancy and joy!

But it did give us a Sunday return-adventure back into white mountain enchantment.

I find myself juggling a constantly growing level of projects both personal and collective that include home and family oriented things, as well as personal passion focused things. I’m also finding the in between times to be filled with energy dynamics and collective themes calling my attention from many directions, to be processed and integrated. It feels like a lot, but definitely important.

Because of my need to manage time, this blog update will be longer on visual stories. The windows I captured recently in photos and videos I feel will speak louder than words and perhaps also be a deep breath of nourishment to the soul.

I mentioned our leaving for a short road trip, which we did on the last day of April. We didn’t plan it to be over Beltane, as we entered May, but as always things just line up.

Right before our journey I found giant and perfect twin raven feathers on that warm Spring day – the bearers of ancient wisdom richly woven into their embodiment.

“Bearing dark wisdom in their ink-stained feathers, ravens embody the duality of existence, bridging the chasm between light and shadow. Like prophets perched upon forgotten tomes, ravens embody both death’s harbinger and the genesis of rebirth.” ~Thorn and Claw

Our trip was twofold – one, to experience a refresh of energy for our little family since the loss of two of our fur children that shifted things in our household and two, to get Sweet Pea to the top specialists so that we could understand her situation better.

The latter we did get, which was a second, highly confirmed opinion on her rare condition of bladder cancer and extreme clarity on how it’s evolved, a better timeframe for her days with us, and affirmation to what we are doing to assist and monitor the situation that is nearing a conclusion.

And the first was more than we could have hoped for in a very short three-day period. That’s the part that photos and videos I feel will reflect even better than I can describe.

But before sharing about the energetic gifts, I wanted to mention how amazing Sweet Pea did on our travels. She truly has shifted into a peaceful space. She didn’t make one peep the whole drive, as she laid in her bed on my lap in the sunshine and just rested and watched mom and dad, or looked out the window.

I would pick her up when I felt she needed to pee and placed her in her litter box, or she would climb down by my feet where it was, did her thing, and then climbed, or I picker her, back up. She’s such a good and brave girl. And she has continued to demonstrate her thoughtful wisdom and reflection, as she navigates her last days and imparts her desires to us.

We stayed in an area that was a block from the American River, which we spent each of the three days exploring, by either foot or bike, and one day by a large creek on top of that, while we waited for Sweet Pea to be seen by the specialists.

I wasn’t surprised that the address of our hotel turned out to be 555 – my messaging number of alignment and support and the parking lot we went to for Sweet Pea’s appointment – same as Astrid’s – was lot 55.

Each day was filled with utter enchantment and we were so surprised to find ourselves in such an oasis of magick in the middle of a city.

And yet, we do create the reality of our inner world lived out loud, so life is about alignment.

We went from our lush mountain forests and lakes, to another verdant world of wonder cradling the banks of a river that is fed by the very same Sierra Nevada mountain range that we live in.

Each day was rich with gifts – including treasures I found, sights for the soul, experiences of the heart and more deepening, beautiful wildlife encounters, and bubbled walks between worlds – like a rip in space and time surrounding us in etheric energies of support and subtle activations.

The first day I found five beautiful and long female mallard feathers along with a tiny one, another type of water fowl feather, and part of a deer’s jaw with teeth intact.

That’s the second jaw in such a short time span.

And on our second day, a wild turkey feather. Actually, Dave found it after I said that I thought it would be cool to find just one of their feathers since we’d been surrounded by wild turkeys so much.

We walked by an area where they’d been and Dave said to me that the wind would have blown any feather that could have dropped and pointed to where he thought that would be. So we walked over and of course there was one single, perfect feather.

Dave saw it first and I went over to pick it up – teamwork manifestation.

I was writing to a friend about an energetic transmission I had received regarding crystals, but the same thing I shared to her also describes what I feel was happening to us on this short trip. In fact, the conversations around this crystal energy was taking place while amidst the very world they seemed to be connected to.

Here is a snippet:

“…imprints of that nexus juncture and birthing ground…like the center point where the alchemical process takes place. That space felt indicative of where we are right now in our evolution and the cellular and etheric merging that’s being rewritten to mirror that interrelationship of all parts and experiences to more fluidly move in and out of them. It is a divine spark of creative force – a creative synthesis.”

I had some pretty amazing experiences of personal soul retrieval and integration that I can feel, even if I can’t explain it.

Some of the images I will share, might give a glimpse of that.

Especially this spot, upon touchdown, that I could have lingered in forever.

The energies and light were not seen by the naked eye, but felt, shifted, and moved with me.

Can you tell how happy this place made me feel?

We were there for Beltane – the first day of May – and all of the Nature experiences and encounters we had couldn’t have been more attuned to that energy than where we were and what was all around us.

It was incredibly powerful and nourished our hearts deeply.

On our first day’s hike we were welcomed by herds of goats, wild turkeys, a jungle gym of squirrels above us in a large tree canopy giving us quite the chatty and acrobatic display, osprey, hawk, great blue heron, geese, ducks, egrets, and butterflies galore.

This continued on our second day during two hikes of encountering more wild turkeys and goats, buzzing insects and butterflies.

Concluding on our third day’s bike ride of the same, plus a large doe and giant jack rabbit with the hugest ears and thumpers who leapt onto our path twice, both directions, and bounced along as if he wanted us to follow. We were in awe of the wildlife surrounding us in the middle of a city.

We spent quiet, reflective and meditative time along the river and soaked in all the goodness we could feel and see around us.

We constantly found ourselves alone, as if Nature was wrapping us in a blanket of softness and grace all to ourselves.

Everywhere I turned were the most picturesque landscapes and awe-inspiring visions.

All as if someone had peered into my dreams and made them a reality.

The heavens felt to be shining upon us and letting us know how held in love we are.

This time felt important to support what’s ahead.

Our hearts are full of gratitude.

Everything was alive on a level of vibrancy unlike anything we’d experienced in some time and while it was very much real and right before us, we couldn’t help to think how surreal it all was – like a waking dream.

Or perhaps, as if we’d dropped into another realm – a space where we could experience our own reality and that was being created just for us.

I wasn’t surprised to see the energies that showed up in photos we took – the streaming through of transmissions of this space in between.

It felt like we had walked through a vortex and this bubble was the meeting point of worlds that lingers in the liminal.

The part I will expound a bit more on is probably my favorite of experiences – our time with the goats. Perhaps it’s in part because I love and resonate with goats so much, being that I have so many strong Capricorn placements. I’ve always had a thing for goats since I was small.

But regardless of the reason, what went on between us and the goats was the most incredible experience for me that went beyond the amazing display we did actually witness, but spoke to the essence that encapsulated so much.

That included the energy of Beltane – how perfect we could share this on that portal day and without any planning or knowing other than divine alignment.

The little ones had me completely absorbed in the energy of joy, play, presence, divine spark, and creative exuberance.

Nothing else existed or mattered in those stretched-out-minutes of observing them. I could feel these fluid stories evolving in my head with dialogue and scenes for all the characters before me.

We sat and watched both babies and growing kids gleefully enjoying the warm meadows, literally skipping and springing with joy, nuzzling mom, bleating, crying, ears flopping, tiny tails wagging, resting in the long grasses, and both playing and brushing up on their adult skills of climbing, butting heads, and running about without a care in the world but the moment.

I could have lingered in that energy forever.

I’m so happy I took these videos because I will be coming back to these over and over to immerse in the energy I felt over those days.

And as alignment would have it, we actually rescued two little ones over the course of our time there. The first was a tiny baby goat whom we’d seen apart from the herd upon the start of our walk.

He seemed more feeble than the others and just resting while mom was off grazing a little ways away.

But later, on our way back, we watched as this little one was crying out for mom, alone and scared and had gotten himself into frantic mode.

It all had our hearts crying with him.

He squeezed through the electric gates and screamed upon the little shocks touching his tiny body. He got himself into the next area where the adult goats were and continued trying to find his momma, but each goat he approached would turn away.

So Dave climbed in and swooped him up to bring him back into his area.

He brought him over to me to give him some love and energy. He was the sweetest and I just had to give him a kiss!

He nuzzled us both and when Dave put him down he kept following and sucking on his legs. We tried to look for mom, but no one was coming. We worried and wondered if we would have to take care of him, but eventually we got the idea to bring him to one of the mothers who seemed especially attentive to his cries because we knew he couldn’t be left alone with night approaching. We placed him with this mother who had an injured leg and two babies, and to our joy, she and the little ones took him in. He was happy and they played. We hoped he’d be okay and that mom would return, or this family would keep him safe.

Upon returning the next day all seemed well and all babies were with their mothers. Phew!

The second rescue was on our biking day when we saw a little older kid with tiny horns who had also escaped and was out on the bike path crying. This one was much more cautious and would come to us, but then run away. We stayed with him so he didn’t wander onto the street and into the city. Luckily, the men watching over the herds weren’t far off and a woman saw us and told us she’d get them. They came and got the little one and brought him and two adults who they had also just rescued, back to the herd.

It seemed we were at the right place at the right time.

The magick of these days felt like an extended time-out-of-time experience that felt extremely nourishing and supportive.

Even just walking or biking through the canopied trails was like entering portal upon portal on what felt to be a midsummer’s day.

The temperatures were in the 80’s and with Nature buzzing, and the air thick with enchantment, it was as if we dropped into our own faerytale novel and were writing each page ourselves.

And I can feel these days and experiences with me still – especially those sacred moments that spoke to my heart.

It was a space that merged memorable and enriching on many levels with both bitter and sweet built in.

Every single sight, sound, sensation, and reflection held vast amounts of sacred and organic wisdom within it. I felt like my spirit had enlivened through it all and that everything in this little bubble spoke to the essence of what I hold dear. Something that would prove supportive for experiences unfolding – to remember the core things that are most important when outside influences may try to push me off center.

And just like that, our little oasis of enrichment morphed back into our home space on the forest.

We got to enjoy a day of Spring warmth before the one-day storm hit of rain and snow all day and night.

After our snow hiking, the day after the storm, coyotes were back in action. On the 5/5 portal we were being serenaded by their calls in the wee hours of the night.

And the very next day, while on our walk, we were greeted by a female coyote. I recognized her gender by the nipples on her belly.

She was either in earlier stages of pregnancy or had pups tucked away somewhere and was out hunting while they napped. The timing was perfect for either, as my research turned up that coyotes mate between January to March.

Another potent reflection, as life continues to invite more ways to embrace what IS so amazing about this Earth experience and the constant reflections of endings and beginnings wrapped up into one fluid continuum.

It’s where bitter and sweet meet that we discover the vitality of embodiment.

And who better to embody that vitality than the amazing Frith!

He has graced my evenings the last two days in very deliberate and supportive ways.

In fact, while I was writing this post, he literally came right up to my sliding glass door and peeked in.

The magick is real.

And despite the sometimes confusing way energy seems to speak to us, the clarity exists simultaneously in that stillness of heart.

I’ve been so excited to share this episode, as it brings back a special soul some of you might remember from two featured interviews I shared in my blog spot, The Writer’s Corner – Author, Jean Brannon.

If you’d like a recap of her previous book releases, you can find those blog interviews here:

Atlantis Writhing

Pants Down

The timing felt perfect to kick this one off in partner with a new and, what feels like an even more, expansive month.

This latest episode of Talks With Crystal Skulls brings Jean back to discuss her new book – Atlantis Splitting, which is the second release of her Trilogy in the Highest Light Series – but also takes us on a journey of the heart to discuss a weaving of her experiences, wisdom, this latest book’s exploration of themes, AND of course, how it all ties in with an unexpected twist – crystal skulls.

Jean and I discuss a surprise discovery of our merged experiences that led to learning how crystal skulls were at the center of a new layer of life that we can only say has turned things up another cosmic level in terms of insights and upgrades.

If you’re receiving this update via email, you’ll need to please click through to the actual post because WordPress won’t embed videos in emails.

I’ll return soon with an update and some beautiful inspirations from our short time away. Right now, I’m slowly settling in and planning out this month’s project goals.

As we approach May 7th’s Taurus New Moon, perhaps you may be feeling more expansiveness opening on a wider scale and an acceleration of upgrades taking place. If so, immersing yourself in some earthy goodness and creative explorations that bring your own version of comfort and beauty to the forefront may be calling, and will support that stream.

You may also be experiencing a greater nudge toward being called forth yourself in a larger or different way than you’re used to, and may notice more invitations extending to you with opportunities for greater alignment. It’s a time for being open to more receiving and ease of walking toward things, rather than giving away all of your energy to fighting or forcing experiences. You may notice larger leaps than you’re used to because of the groundwork you’ve laid for years. And if you don’t like what you see, maybe you can look at ways to create the new in your own world – one step at a time. The effects can be astronomical from one tiny pebble rippling out.

Until the next share, I hope you enjoy the new episode with Jean, as it’s one that explores the transitions in life that fuel new birthings and openings.

In honor of cycles and sacred transitions – a sweet shout out to my dear Gaia (Russian Tortoise who slipped through the Earth veils), as tomorrow 5/5 would have been her Earth birthday this go-around.

Gaia loved and worked with the crystal collective just as much as Astrid and my other soul companions in rabbit bodies did, and her ancient Atlantean and Lemurian roots always kept her strongly tied to Tahoe’s waters that hold sacred frequencies connected to those times.

She loved to peer out at the lake from my solarium we shared.

May 5th also happens to be the day Nestor’s ashes arrived home to me.

Many beautiful endings and beginnings all tied together, as is the way of consciousness – unified and eternal.

And if this month brings an inspiration toward bringing a new friend into your life’s evolution, there are just two beauties left that are still looking for guardians and cocreators – an absolutely magickal rainbow filled fluorite being with wondrous, pure, and Fae energy and an extremely powerful orange calcite and blue apatite with Galactic energy. See link below for greater details both in visuals and descriptions. Amazed they are still here:

Crystals & Crystal Skulls

This episode comes in response to questions and frustrations around connecting and communicating with crystal skulls and crystals. I do offer one-on-one sessions to help with this, but wanted to put out some tips for the wider collective since it’s become a part of more people’s experiences in the community that have been following along, as well as people just searching for help overall.

While the focus is on crystal skulls, anyone who is having challenge with opening their gifts in the more energetic and esoteric fields, will find this episode helpful as well. It covers an overview of pre-communication things to explore and address that could potentially be hindering your process from the get-go. And therefore, they can be applied across the board to many areas of life you are wanting to empower more.

I do also include one, next-step access point for beginning the communication.

In an upcoming episode I’ll touch base on a few more post-groundwork processes and tips, so look out for that one.

But stay tuned for the next episode, as it’s a special interview with a return guest to this blog that many of you enjoyed hearing from.

Until then, remember that if you ARE interested in watching this video and received an email update about it, that you’ll need to click through to the post because WordPress doesn’t embed videos. And as always, I welcome your insights, experiences, and comments.

I’ll be sharing updates and latest inspirations soon, but for now I hope you enjoy the new episode of Talks With Crystal Skulls. Happy Earth Day (today) and Scorpio Full Moon liberating wishes (tomorrow)!

Episode 8: Tips on Opening the Channels to Talk With Your Crystal Skulls ~ Addressing 1st Core Step Groundwork to Connect More

My Spring yard clean-up has been delayed due to another weather swing in temperatures and late storms. The last of the two storms this past weekend saw us waking up on Easter morning to a fresh, full foot of powder covering everything around our Forest Portal home, with much more at the mountain tops.

The white winter wonderland made for a fun contrast that day, as the outer world landscape was definitely quite different than the inner world one that greeted us at my family’s home.

Mom made us vegan hams roasted with pineapples on top, mashed potatoes, peas, focaccia bread, and carrot and raisin salad. In addition she added a platter of appetizer yums that included crostini topped with vegan smoked gouda cheese with salsa or spicy jelly on top!

Dad surprised us with one of my favs from childhood he used to make – lemon pie a la vegan!

Another beautiful holiday warmly spent, celebrating renewal and the promise of all things that come to an end truly do mark a new beginning.

The journey home continued to reflect the variances of experience that shift moment-to-moment, as we traveled through rain, hail, and snow flurries with the day’s light reflecting duality as one and the presence of hope and closure all at once.

As always, how we choose to perceive things can make all the difference. And while these flips back-and-forth of weather could be confusing, to me they truly illuminate the gift of embracing each moment and what it has to offer.

The extended ski adventure time has been fun and of course we’re grateful for the moisture to add to snow packs that aid fire season.

The slopes after the Easter storm were incredibly magickal with blue bird days that revealed themselves after the parting of mystical cloud openings.

It is truly heavenly.

There’s no wonder why this ski resort we live just five minutes from IS actually called Heavenly.

I love seeing my favorite flocked trees along the landscape, framed by boundless blue skies.

You feel like you’re in another world.

After that big snow dump the weather did a huge overnight shift from 30’s temps in the days to hitting near 60 for two days in a row.

This melted the flocked beauties back to springtime green dresses framing beautiful Lake Tahoe.

And then things swing-shifted back to the 30’s again with a small weather front bringing a few more inches of snow over the last two days.

Oscillating, extreme experiences are prevalent collectively, as we explore a path toward a new equilibrium on a journey through the undercurrents of contrasting energies. Everything is a process of releasing and retrieving the outmoded and best parts, to merge and create a new alchemy way of living.

I know that many are feeling the energies of this upcoming Eclipse on the 8th and that a lot of info may be pouring onto your radar from what people are saying about it. As always, make things your own experience, even though we do share in a collective one. Only you can make of it the way you choose to make it, as not everyone experiences the same things.

Especially not if you tend to your own garden of life and harness the energies as your own version of a perspective-matching expression of it.

Eclipses bring up the things we may not want to look at that are integral to our healing and evolution and with this one we will be moving through the healing of pains and seeing the truth of situations, while teaching us to have more courage and find our unique way through the changes.

This Aries New Moon Total Solar Eclipse is also a SuperMoon and a new doorway is offered with it, but will assist bringing up seeing the limitations that are holding you back. A lot of focus on what is over and old wounds that you may not have let go of fully, to assist with the last pieces of detachment in order to move forward – endings and closure to draw in fresh starts and opportunities are abound. This may be something you’re personally moving through for yourself, or that you’re helping someone or others with.

Forgiveness may also be called up. Remember that forgiving doesn’t mean condoning. It’s a way to release detachment and free yourself so that you can move forward.

On the first day we hit 59 degrees, I was driving home from the post office and saw an unusual sight in the sky for up here in the alpine terrain.

I stopped the car to watch this flock of large white birds with black tipped wings circling above.

They moved in and out, creating different formations and I was taken in by how large they were and the white and black coloring, together.

I felt immediately that they were pelicans (although would be unusual), as I’ve seen some down in the valley on the lake there a few times over the years. Yet, here they were up at this lake getting my attention. I did research it when I got home and indeed I was right. They were American White Pelicans that do in fact have black wing tips.

I read that they will sometimes travel far from their colonies to feed and that they can sometimes be seen here and in outlying areas of the Sierra lakes and reservoirs.

Pelicans are connected to water, air, and land making them a symbol of balance between these elements. Their energy supports the capability of deep-diving into the watery realms of emotions and self-reflection, envisioning and cultivating new ideas, and then grounding and manifesting the result of that introspective journey. There is a harmonious relationship between emotions and thoughts, so that mind and heart merge in partnership rather than trying to prevail over one another, and trust is cultivated toward intuition. They bring hope, strength, and new possibilities while also demonstrating resiliency and grace when navigating life’s challenges.

Seeing this beautiful sight of their graceful dance in the air, together, felt mirroring of the space both individually and collectively that is possible right now and through this New Moon Eclipse portal.

I’ve reflected recently on the shifts over time with navigating things and seeing the truth of how the things I go through in life, stretch me into greater resiliency and fluidity of experience. Especially so, when I make an effort to be conscious and curious of each moment and rich part. AND, when I engage all of my parts to work together in balance so that I don’t get locked into the denser of human experiences alone.

Darker times do get lighter and more grace filled and that can include the grieving process of parts of our lives and souls within our lives. Grieving has its own beauty, as an expression of our depth of connection. It’s an individual process for each of us, still, yet it can and does have ability to shift over time.

For me, I find that the more I embrace the sacredness and alignment, as well as the inherent wisdom of each experience, the more I am able to be in the celebration of cycles and not sink into the heaviness like the quick sand it can become without these anchors. I enable myself to then see renewal’s promise that comes through the softening of my clutch.

I find that pain turns into nostalgia.

Grief reveals itself as love and love’s wisdom is eternity.

The white pelicans coming together on that warm, sunny Spring day between two storms felt like a promising omen of things to come.

Are there little signs around you of movement and support that you might be overlooking?

Sometimes when things get tough, it’s hard to see the sparkles of hope lighting up in your path, or even just how much you already have moved through and manifested so brilliantly.

Be curious and present – look up – look down – and all around you.

Little golden threads are being thrown out for us to catch all the time.

In these extreme times of change, we need more moments of pause because it’s easy to react and be triggered, and it’s also easy to make hasty decisions before our body and spirit feel aligned with something.

It’s okay not to act immediately.

It’s okay to breathe and reflect.

It’s okay to take a moment before jumping in and deciding to land on the next path.

The pelicans circling and creating new formations above me felt reflective of this – their exploration of the next feeding ground (far from their nesting area) and reflecting upon the energy currents while in the space of thought and intuition merging, before making a decision of where to land next.

So, so many people are in the processing of navigating huge transitions in life – not just the loss of people or animals, but the shift from one way of life or part of life to another. And there is so much uncertainty of where things will land and what the conditions will be in this new space, while everyone reconfigures their positioning in it all.

Take the time you need to feel into the frequencies, each small step along the way – taking in the wider view of things, but know that you won’t fully understand the scope of the new, or why you left things behind, until you do actually land.

It continues to sound repetitive, but gentleness toward self and other, as well as self care and knowing yourself continue to deepen in value.

Even our dear Sweet Pea knows how important this is.

She’s actually doing quite well after the loss of her brother Boojum and despite her condition, living with bladder cancer. You can see her snug like a bug in her bed atop one of Astrid’s castle tunnels mom put by the window for her – her favorite spot.

I told Dave that although she navigates her own journey with it all, I get from her that she’s also really leaning into and enjoying this rich time she is experiencing by being our only child. She was the first, and truly has always been a more independent kitty who likes her space and the softness of quiet and the gentle things in life. She’s become equally a momma’s girl even though she’s more connected to Dave, while still also seeking us both out to share time with.

Mornings are her playtime with mom and she acts like a kitten as we do our fun ritual on the bed of snuggles, purrs, licks, and chasing after my quick hands. She had pulled back from Dave a bit while Boojum was in decline, but is now enjoying naps and meditation time with him again. We actually were both woken two nights ago by her licking both of our faces.

She’s been relishing in all the extra attention and spoiling she’s receiving and in many ways has actually shown a spike in her engagement and energy. She’s especially loving all the yummy treats to herself and where she never used to ask for them, is seeking them out. Unlike her brother, who lost his appetite in the end, she has a robust and healthy one. She still has her tumor, but she’s trucking along and making the most of each day as the princess of the entire house. We are grateful.

Thank you to everyone who’s reached out and shared your love and condolences. It’s a beautiful thing to experience the connection that is made possible even if we’ve never met in person. It’s simply about opening our hearts and keeping them open, regardless of what is happening around us, but also BECAUSE of what is happening. Love, kindness, and compassion is ever-more needed.

We’ve experienced so much separation within and without, increasingly so since 2020, that finding ways to connect with the heart of yourself and community are lifelines to cultivating a new level of thriving we can share together.

And that leads me to some of the other ways I am able to share support with those of you who feel called, alongside sharing reflections here that I hope in some way might provide a tiny piece of hope or a glimpse of possibility.

Below you’ll find my biggest session discount, new and heavily discounted crystal skulls, and the latest episode of Talks With Crystal Skulls.

Eclipse season may add layers of complexity or challenge to your experience and the already more intense energies of these times, or perhaps is highlighting the areas you simply can no longer not face.

I received strong guidance to offer my largest discount on Intuitive Guidance Sessions that I ever do – I might have offered this once before several years back.

I have both sensed and heard things that make me understand the pivotal space people, and humans as a collective are at, which speaks to doing all that we can within the scope of our abilities and strengthened wells to help that shift anchor.

You can read about the sessions, which are offered to support a wide scope of areas in your life at the link below, where you’ll also find the discount already reflected in single and package options.

I am able to support 5 new clients again, for sure. I will reassess if I can take on more after the 5 spaces are filled, based on the scope of intentions and needs that are involved with each individual.

Some people have asked if these can be used as a space for mentoring. Wholeheartedly, yes!

We can create a process to support any area of life that you desire to cultivate and take more prominence as your soul path, or even as an integrated piece to your life to create more balance because it truly lights you up.

Other assistance is in areas of any transitions taking place from one thing to another in your life, or any area of personal and spiritual growth that you’d like to take to the next level.

Any of these can also be combined, and undoubtedly will naturally be combined, as they are all connected. It’s about you and crafting the perfect weaving of personal reflection.

I know a few of you have been on the fence or even shared some fear about doing this work, so I’m hoping whether it’s here or elsewhere, that these powerful doorways like the Eclipse, will help you to find the avenue and support that can assist your momentum.

The discount is now effective, as of 4/4:

Intuitive Guidance Sessions

For those of you looking for other ways to work through your personal processes and activate new doorways of experience, or those of you who have been curious, I DO have a new group of wonderful crystal skulls that have been added to the offerings.

At the link below you’ll find 5 fresh faces – and I’ll just let their videos, photos and info speak for themselves, but I have a feeling they’ll connect quickly with those of you who’ve been waiting. I’ve been releasing, as they tell me to and to be honest I’d be happy to keep them all! LOL! If you watch the latest episode of Talks With Crystal Skulls, you’ll notice one of the skulls being offered shares the same material of my skull featured as energetic support in that episode. The energy of all of these beings are specially intuited as frequency matches to assist the shifts and to focus on areas those of you ready to go to the next level in your life may find especially dialed in where is most needed.

Alongside the 5 newbies, you’ll also find the 4 remaining beauties I’m truly surprised are still hanging out, given their energy and especially since many have had a lot of inquiries. Well, you’ll discover that these 4 have now received a special (and incredible) homing discount of 22% – 44% off to support anyone on the fence, compliments of them messaging through me that they are eager to get working! There is also a special homing discount on a pair, if they go home together, which is a purchase 1 and get 1 free offer.

So if you’ve been waiting for a special friend or looking to get a gift for a special someone, then you may find what calls to your heart in these 9 crystal skulls:

Crystals & Crystal Skulls

And that leads me to the last piece of support and streams of possibility…a new episode of Talks With Crystal Skulls.

This one is a short share and here’s the description:

In this new episode we add another layer to understanding our crystal skull family. What if the skulls are in fact the manifestation of our galactic family in a form made more efficient for these times we are in? We explore crystal skulls as the emanation embodiment of multi-dimensional beings to assist receiving wisdom and teachings in a conscious state that we need for Earth’s and humanity’s evolution. Included is a new collective message from The Speakers – the collective of 22 beings that speak through my crystal skulls.

If you’re viewing this update via email, you’ll need to please click through to the post in order to watch the video. As always, I hope you’ll share your thoughts in a comment at the YouTube link, share with others you think might enjoy it, and subscribe to my channel if you’d like to receive first notification of these and any other videos, as I do often post them before sharing on my blog site.

Sending you a warm embrace filled with loving support, peace, and fluidity as you move through this Eclipse and all other shifts of the year unfolding.

May each piece of the journey open like the petal of a blossom, with ease and grace of sunlit promise and fragrant inspiration.

Our Winter in Spring continues here, as a new storm moved in on Wednesday and the second hits today through Sunday bringing more snow to the already thawing landscape. You can see in these windowscapes of our backyard, how things keep bouncing back and forth by the day

The seasons are being fickle with my bulbs who oscillate between the experience of receiving both sunshine and snow kisses.

On our way out for a walk at the other end of town, the morning of the first of these late storms, I snapped a few photos of some of my bulb baby clusters sprouting with glee and the very first crocus blooms.

Last year it was the yellow crocus who burst forward first and this year it’s all about the purple babies, which feels fit since I’ve been wearing a lot of purple and immersing in my amethyst crystal friends – a favorite of my rabbit and tortoise companions.

I am hoping to get out perhaps next week to clean up the perimeter of the house from Autumn and Winter shedding, but that will depend if the forecast holds long enough to provide me days of sunshine and melted ground. It will be a big undertaking again, but I do want my blossoms to have a nice welcoming and there’s great satisfaction clearing the old away.

I’m so excited for all of these beauties to emerge. You may recall that each year I keep adding more and more bulbs, which I’ll do again this Fall. It’s the perfect rebirthing energy to open new doorways and it’s going to be glorious!

And glorious is also the aroma wafting through the house right now from the oven. I’m baking one of my favorites – a crumb cake – while writing this share as the falling snow frames the peripheral of my vision in the garden patiently waiting to awaken.

It all feels nostalgic, which somehow feels perfect for this season of transition we’ve entered once again, both in the outer world visual landscapes and in the inner world emotional ones.

It’s hard to believe that it will already be seven months, on the 30th, that Astrid has been physically gone from our lives. It seems like yesterday, but that yesterday is now so far away.

Which brings me to this week’s pivotal shift that took place within the gateway of the Libra Full Moon Lunar Eclipse that I felt important to express with my friends here who are a special part of our lives.

It is with great sadness that I share our sweet boy, Boojum, has joined Astrid in the stars.

He had a rapid decline starting Friday the 22nd, which at first seemed to be one of his uremic episodes he bounces back from. This time it went longer and the effects took him out much more physically to a state that hinged on any-moment-surprise-trauma. Interestingly, I’ve noted that Boojum is very tied in with the Full Moons and in fact many of his previous episodes have all culminated on and around them in the past. I had a sense, even before the episode started, that this Full Moon Lunar Eclipse could be much bigger for him – likely the end – and started preparing Dave when in fact he did start his decline.

When he didn’t turn around like other episodes, I knew this was a pivotal point.

As mentioned in other posts, Sweet Pea came to Dave just before he and I started dating and Boojum came just months after. So while they are connected to Dave, foremost, I have been in their lives nearly since the very start with Sweet Pea and in fact from the beginning with Boojum. Dave is deeply connected to cats, like I am with rabbits, and so it is even harder for him to go through this loss after having these soulmates in his life between 15 and 16 years (they’re both nearly 17 years old). So, it would also be for him to decide if and when to assist either of them before any traumatic incidents and suffering occurred.

With a Libra Full Moon, relationships and partnerships are highlighted, and the portal that opened with this one was indeed one of endings. The kind of endings that lead to new beginnings and fostering new layers to relationships both within oneself and without – even if at yet they’re unseen.

Over the months, weeks, and days we’ve had to keep assessing things to make sure our kitty babies were having quality of life and when experiences would potentially surpass that. The day before the Full Moon, a lot of processing took place and it was in fact on Monday, March 25th’s Full Moon Eclipse when Dave knew what his decision must be for Boojum’s sake, although his heart would rather choose otherwise.

He made the call to see about scheduling Boojum’s transition and was surprised when our go-to person said she was available that very evening. It could have taken place on the actual day of the Full Moon Eclipse, but this proved to be shockingly too soon for Dave, so instead we scheduled the next evening to give us a full day with Boojum.

And that’s exactly what the 26th was – Boojum day. We both put aside everything else and did nothing but lay with him and our little family throughout the day, as that was all he wanted to do – be with us snuggled in our comfort.

That morning started off quite potent though. Dave got up, while I lingered in bed with both of the cats. I heard a bang and then the downstairs sliding door open and close. Dave then appeared in our room cupping something in his hands. He was distraught as he walked over to me, opened his hands and gently handed me a precious little bird.

I knew what had happened. The bird had hit our window and Dave had retrieved him from the ground. He said he was still alive when he picked him up, and he hoped that his warmth and Reiki would revive him. When he handed the little one over, he wasn’t aware he had died. I told him he had passed peacefully with him. Dave told me he was too fragile to handle this, too, right now and walked out of the room leaving me with the little bird.

I decided to stay there with the bird for a while, doing energy work to go backwards in time to the impact and support him through the entire journey with loving energy. Then assisted the transition to the Cosmos and felt to share the little bird with Boojum. Both cats were with me, but didn’t seem interested until I let Boojum connect and he leaned in to gently touch him with his nose. Boojum had always been a gentle boy.

There was indeed alchemy woven in the experience between Dave and the bird and the bird and Boojum. It felt to me that this bird had consciously played a part for this process. I think you can connect your own dots. I buried the sweet little one in my garden with a tiny quartz crystal and flower, and covered the grave with one of my rock finds from the area, adorned with blue quartz.

Oddly, just several days before this, I heard banging inside our chimney followed by bird cries from within. I knew a bird had somehow gotten down it and was stuck. More banging, more crying…I was worried and trying to figure out what to do, while hoping for the little one to find his/her way out. Sweet Pea was equally on alert, laying near the fireplace and looking with wide eyes each time the sounds came from the chimney. But the bird did find their way out and for about twenty minutes after the incident, I kept seeing and hearing a bird outside squawking quite a bit. I feel it was the one who had gotten trapped inside, voicing his/her relief from the fear and struggle. That also seemed reflective.

And then the third incident happened – things do go in waves of three – as just yesterday the 28th I found another dead beauty when we woke up for breakfast, laying on the fresh snow bed that cradled her now lifeless body. She looked like she had just passed from also hitting one of our other big windows. I carried her in, but only told Dave who watched me go outside, rather than showing him so as not to bring more pain to his grieving. It was very sad to have all of this happen in such a short span. And yet it all feels connected and weaving a potent alchemy. A bird hitting your window heralds significant change and new phase in life.

I buried this beauty with a tiny quartz crystal and sprig of pine next to the other one in my garden that has become an animal sanctuary on many levels.

Everything is connected.

We’ve now ordered the same special stickers we used to have in our treehouse at the very top of the mountain in our condo before moving here. These have special reflectors to warn birds.

And that brings us back to sweet Boojum.

In recent weeks, I noted how both Boojum and Sweet Pea had started seeking me out when I’m downstairs in my office – a place they normally stayed away from since they knew it was Astrid’s domain. Even after Astrid transitioned, they still didn’t want to pass the threshold of the door, nor go downstairs that much. Her presence is still powerfully present.

But each of the kitties began to look for me there, cry out to me, and want to be with me on my lap at my desk.

I knew a shift was happening, as I’ve always noted that animals in pain or transitioning seek me out.

I gently would draw things to Dave’s attention, as to prepare him step-by-step. We’ve known conditions and possibilities for the kitties for a while, so this helped in preparations behind the scenes. With Astrid it was a surprise, and that suited me more, which she knew. And although I’ve known the reality of things looming with sped up, approaching time, it’s taken a while for Dave to allow himself to fully go there. So it was good to have things go more slowly than a surprise blow for him. Especially after already having to go through Astrid’s departure. Each of our soul companions know what is best for us.

And I believe we do the very best we know how to for them.

When we learned of the critical points each of our kitties had reached, we made a commitment not to travel and just be with them at home to administer all their meds and to share all the love. In fact we cancelled two trips we had planned around my birthday because it was more important to make the most of our time together.

And that’s just what we did on Boojum’s last physical day with us. As I mentioned above, we stopped the clock on everything and literally just spent the day snuggled up on the bed together as a family with him, as all he wanted to do was cuddle, be cuddled and comforted, and rest. That’s actually really all he wanted in his last days. He’d follow us around everywhere we went and just wanted us to hold him. So we did.

And we made sure, just as we did with Astrid, to each write and read him a special message before his departure. Dave also sang him a song and he sat on the couch the whole time listening.

I won’t share the whole passage I did with Boojum, but I do want to share these parts as they feel to speak to something key to pass along in message.

“…I’m so grateful for the gifts you’ve given to me. They weren’t always easy to see at first, nor to embrace in the moment, but you helped me to ponder the beauty of all that comes before me. And that includes you. The way you live for the moment and know nothing of a past or future. The way you sucked the marrow of life, which is one of the things most people don’t know how to do, long for, and fall short in ever experiencing. The way you cradled your earthly embodiment as the gift and miracle that it is – really living and loving for the sensuality of this experience like no other. You taught me and anyone who was present to your alchemy, how rich this life is and the reasons why we embody here. Not merely to go about the stresses we add onto our lives to live for a day that may never come, but to REALLY BE in body and drink of its wine right here and now. All of the earthly pleasures, you knew so well, how to luxuriate in as the mysterious black panther prince that you are and always will be…

…Your heart is kind. Your mind a bit crafty and even at times bratty, but it was all part of your calling our attention to nurture a love for our feelings and desires in the moment…to not push away joy and breathing in what was possible to have now. It was at times hard to swallow, but that is because we’re taught not to honor these feelings. You were right there always saying, “yes” to all that you want…and teaching us the same…to say “yes” to all that brings our hearts joy. So thank you. I may not have said it enough and took me long to see it, but I have come to understand your alchemy and will not forget it in the days ahead. And I’m sure you won’t let me, as you continue to make your presence known from where you are headed…”

We lit a candle and were all together in our home and space we shared, to support him on into the eternal.

It was a beautiful, peaceful and sacred experience. Unforgettable, just as Boojum is.

After, we went for a walk out behind the house in the forest and it was a beautiful sunset sky celebrating Boojum in heavenly peach clouds serenaded by a pack of coyotes in the near distance.

We have so many wonderful memories to draw upon and call up when we need to transmute the pain.

He was such a character and made an impression on everyone – usually imparting many giggles. He pranced across the floor on his toes, galloped like a tiny pony, and proudly humped his Humpty Bear (despite being fixed) without any qualms that eyes were upon him – in fact he hoped so lol! 

I will miss the sweet moments and how my singing was able to lull him into peace, especially if he was scared or not feeling well.

I will miss his googly eyes locking with mine as I whispered “Boogish” over and over in his ears.

I will miss him riding proudly like the prince he is, excited to be swung over mom’s shoulder and carried everywhere like this.

And I’ll especially miss the way he paused time and softened me with his slow motion, outstretched arm reach to touch my face with his paw. Something he did over and over on his last morning with dozens of intentional paw presence all over my face to let me know he “would always be right here,” just like E.T. said to Elliott with his touch before departure back home to the Cosmos.

We’ve kept relatively quiet to ourselves again with this process until it was over, as it’s been important to us to create these intimate spaces to anchor in the love as a family.

But because you’ve been a part of our journey, and have shared your love with our fur children, we share this sacred passage with you.

It’s a way I heal through sharing and vulnerability, as writing is very cathartic for me.

It also feels important because of all the grief so so many are navigating these days individually and collectively – a way to help flow that energy and to know its presence in our lives is a rich weaving we share, although feels otherwise.

As I wrote before:

Grief is challenging for most people, as when you’re in the midst of it or it comes on fast, it can feel quite traumatic and send a ripple of downward spiraling and feel never-ending until or unless the softening occurs. One never really ends grief, but it does fade and joy can actually reside alongside pain and loss. In fact, grief and pain can actually be a connective bridge for joy and sweetness. And while grief comes in waves of intensities, between those waves and even after the crest of each, pockets of potential are activated that only the doorway of pain helps to access.

We grow through the pains and rise from the ashes by leaning into the inherent beauty of each piece of wholeness.

An end of an era continues here for us, with the passing of two of our three fur children within seven months and our third nearing her own day, which I trust she’ll navigate beautifully too.

In the meantime, we’re embracing each day fully with the courageous Sweet Pea who is going through her own evolution, while of course helping us with our own as well. She was the first and she’ll be the last. A full circle indeed, but also like a spiraling, unwinding itself and preparing to spiral anew.

And there’s a lot of full circle going on I see, as today’s Good Friday marks 21 years ago that Nestor – my twin soul in rabbit form – first came into my life in 2003. That was the beginning of an era for me that has shifted so much and during which I’ve seen six dear soul companions in animal bodies move on.

There’s been a huge deepening for both Dave and I through all of this. Individually and together it’s all added richness and I know will continue even though right now the other side is not yet seen.

I know that Dave will go through his own opening, as I have, through the passing of his closest companions, but unlike the last time he lost his beloved twin soul in cat body in 2008, this time he is not alone in processing the grief. He’s doing beautifully and I’m proud of how he, too, is navigating this transformation.

The hardest part was in the letting go and making the decision. He has since felt relief, although mourns the loss that taxes his heart strings to their resiliency depths.

And relief is shared on my end, while I process the grief as well. Relief knowing Boojum is at peace and now in his expansiveness to be part of my team. I look forward to the magick and mystery Mr. Jaguar shapeshifter will bring into my days and work ahead and to his beloved dad too.

So yes, a lot of releasing, relief, resiliency, and rebirthing dancing in our days. I feel that is not ours alone as experience, but a collective tapestry shared.

I’m reminded for some reason of the time, three years ago, when our little family was in refuge as evacuees from the fires. I remember seeing a large spider’s web at our garage door when we headed out and locked up our house, carrying our three fur babies with us. Webs reflect spider’s resiliency to build and rebuild, even if their web is destroyed. 

I wrote this during that time:

“I feel we are much more resilient than we think or give ourselves credit for – just like the enduring and adaptable cactus I’ve found around me recently, too, that speak to our survival and protection even amidst challenges, but in a way that creates thriving.

The human body is miraculous and the heart is an alchemist. Even though we keep getting thrown a bunch of curve balls and continue having the rug pulled out from under us with everything going on in the world, time and time again, we’ve proven we have the ingenuity to recreate and rise again.

However, in the midst of it all we need to remind ourselves about the importance of refuge – both to create this within ourselves, but also to create spaces for this in our lives in either literal ways of a safe haven, a supportive community, or recharging outlet of some sort. It’s true, this could be a home, but it could also be what ever makes you feel at home, energized, and fills your well. We need to take time for ourselves, not be afraid to ask for help – as any form of family can be refuge from harsh experiences, and be willing to seek out or build this if one doesn’t exist. Opening our hearts to, or helping to create this for others, are gifts we can also provide in the form of refuge.

And maintaining that relentless commitment becomes vital to anything we want to manifest and see in our lives and out there in the world. Remembering not to give up too soon, as sometimes when things seem the hardest, is when we need to stay the course the most. Changes can be right around the corner, but we’ll never know if we don’t stay consistent, persistent, dedicated, and focused. It’s easy to get off track with everything that comes at us, so having markers in place as reminders, staying aware to the messages coming at you, and souls in human or animal bodies (or even just guides in general) who care about you to give you that encouragement, can all be super beneficial. Also, even when things feel like they’ve arrived, the way to ensure they are a mainstay is to consistently embody that energy and not let down your awareness and connection to intentional living. Remember my mention of hawk in my last post and the message they carry of “clarity and vision…the ability to hone in on something (the micro) within the wide (macro) expanse and to be able to go directly to the goal with absolute bullseye focus.” If you really want something, you’ll come to see how truly important it really is by how much you walk the talk of that intention, hope, or dream.

We’re in some fertile and vital times as humanity and this speaks to me of each of us deciding how important what we talk about truly is to us. And if it is, I know we have the resiliency to see it through and the support matching our level of commitment. I also know how important creating times, spaces, places, or groups of refuge for ourselves is key for our well being and capacity to rebuild a new reality.

Like castles in the sand, life is impermanent and its beauty is meant to be cherished moment to moment without attachment to any fixed idea or length we think it should be or last.

There’s something to be said for those experiences of building and creating when you’re engaged in the fleeting moment to experience the rush of imagination and possibility at its height.

And even when the ebbs and flows of life wash over us, there’s this feeling of wonder that lingers in the sands that carry renewal in their memory.

Hope is never lost.

We can rebuild and dream again and again…potential is unlimited.”

With Easter just two days away, thoughts of rebirth and hope are strongly on the mind.

We got to visit my parents last Sunday for a nice afternoon of lunch and a symphony show, which gave us a chance to enjoy their Spring display of Easter-inspired decorations more than just once.

We’ll be heading down again to share in a family celebration and the warmth my parents will create for all of us and a friend we’ll be bringing since he’s always on his own at holidays.

But I did get a chance to snap a few happy shots of the sweet Spring animals and vibrant blooming colors they already had lighting up the house to share the hope.

And took this sweet video of their new dancing bunnies in a cosmic egg.

The sky and landscape were equally beautiful that day on our travels back home up the mountain, framing this whole experience of Boojum’s transition with a heavenly journey.

We continue to soak in each day and do our best to mirror Boojum’s mastery of the moment and what truly living is all about.

Where it takes us is a mystery worthy of embracing.

The end is just the beginning.

I hope the change of seasons breathes some fresh energy into your days and experience. With our walking through the Spring Equinox gateway yesterday, I noted a sense of sweet surprise lingering in the air.

I don’t know what is held in the breeze, as of yet, but it feels like it’s brought in a new layer of trust and inspiration. Things are rearranging within and there are answers on the tip of my tongue to what I’ve been wondering about.

How about you? Do you feel like something is close to discovering?

A little more patience and I sense reveals at hand.

In the meantime, Spring temperatures are in full swing here with low 50’s and really penetrating sunshine even when out on the slowly melting mountain tops.

We’ve enjoyed beautiful outings and treks, taking in the shifting landscapes before us.

The thaw is in process, uncovering all of my new varieties of bulbs in the front beds pushing through to new days.

But the end of the week sees Winter coming back in time for Spring, as what may be our last storm is predicted Friday through the weekend, with more precipitation through end of March.

That means a little more skiing in store on sunny slopes and blue sky days.

What ever shows up is an opportunity to keep fluid and embrace each moment.

The same goes for what shows up in one’s energy field and in facing the undercurrents of fear.

I have been focusing on rewiring something huge for myself and working intricately with new activations. Perhaps some of you have similarly been engaged in your own unique way.

It feels like standing at the precipice of something incredible – like the sprout pushing through to the sunshine for the first time.

Codes, keys, mysterious pieces and notes…all for unlocking the harmonics of our essence.

I don’t believe they are hidden. I feel we have forgotten how to see and use them.  

To look with the eyes of the heart, pierces the layers our minds became accustomed to perceiving.

To tune in with the tones of our frequencies, attunes the melody of our instrument.

And we decipher the Cosmic harmony within the breath of our existence. 

Days for me are filled with this kind of adventure.

And I find the reflections of this pilgrimage in all that surrounds me.

New pathways await because I am the gateway.

And so are you.

Spring brings to mind rabbits and of course that makes me miss the physical presence of Astrid and my other loves more.

I’m grateful to have Frith visiting the garden daily, leaving behind mounds of pellets that will nurture the soil. And I just saw a large cottontail up the street while on a walk just before Spring Equinox.

Check out this sweet little chickadee taking a Spring bath. Hehe!

I have a feeling many forest creatures will be visiting this Spring and Summer.

And I sense other changes on the horizon for our little family here.

I’ve been extremely productive these days, getting so much done and making room for the new.

I’m excited to jump into some projects that have been on hold and continue forth with others.

And due to my having cleared away so much, I am able to make room for supporting others at this time again.

In response to what I’ve felt from others and the current energies, I’m going to do another offering for Intuitive Guidance Sessions.

It’s a pivotal time and I sense the struggles and also the fears around moving forward.

However you feel guided to support yourself, I hope that you will do just that.

Even if that means simply being more gentle with yourself, relaxing a bit on old ways of going about things, and lessening up on attachments that may be hindering your expansiveness.

If you resonate with and do decide you’d like to partner in a process together, then you’ll find the Spring Special on sessions at the top of the page here: Intuitive Guidance Sessions and please direct any questions you may have here: CONTACT ME

Beaming out love and wonder, as you embrace a new season of opportunity.

March is moving right along, with less than a week to go until Spring Equinox, less than two weeks until this month’s Full Moon Lunar Eclipse and then ending things off with Easter falling on the last day and Sunday of this month.

I’ve heard from a few people (including faery sister Laura and her followers) that the Pisces New Moon felt refreshing and like a beautiful, clearing reset and, for me, it literally has been that on a physical/embodiment and deeply integrative level since the 8th – like Uni and higher self conspiring with knocking out and loosening old stuff for full clearing. It was a catapulting thrust forward into the new. My mind feels more free and nebulous than even what is normal for my Pisces self and things are still rearranging from the activation I experienced.

I’ve felt lighter, even more flowy, and experiencing energy channels with greater clarity as well. I experienced this confirmation directly, while supporting someone with an Energy Session partnered with The Speakers on the New Moon – that the channel for transmission is through the roof. The feedback shared with me, underscored the amplification. So, yeah, to reiterate what that page’s offering shares, “these are extremely high frequency” SO “be sure of what you intend and ready for what that involves.”

I hadn’t been feeling any particular challenge before this, yet the New Moon energies in my birth sign truly felt like an initiatory rebirth. And how timely also, as March 12th was my 23 year anniversary of legally becoming Tania Marie – making my middle name my last.

In addition to all of this, the morning of the New Moon, coyote just so happened to saunter by in the forest out back again, while the day kicked off.

And the next morning a pack of coyotes was wildly yipping away in the same area. It was so loud, even with the door closed. We opened the sliding door to listen and then I pointed out four of them silently making their way in the trees after their serenade to each other. There were likely more, but it was interesting to have a pack so close again – seeking us out at home this time – and their timing felt like an initiatory one.

And with that last statement, about initiations – it’s my pleasure to announce Mody Ra joining me once again for Episode 6 of Talks With Crystal Skulls – Deepening Into Ancient Energies & Stones with Mody Ra.

In this new episode we dive a bit more into a discussion about ancient energies and stones, as well as explore some of Mody’s skull carvings to provide more insight around how these pieces truly are initiatory to us stepping more into our wholeness and authentic power. I also share some of my personal experiences with the Ancient Egyptian stone skulls I have been working with from Mody.

This topic was a guided message I felt we needed to open the door more to…and it is just the beginning. A way to open the door to the key of you.

We hope you enjoy, and please drop us a comment under the video on YouTube and subscribe if you’d like to receive updates on new episodes. Remember that if you are viewing this through your email, you’ll need to click through to the post for the video.

Here is the new episode. We hope you enjoy it.

And a little update on crystal skulls and crystals – some amazing pieces moved on to their perfect homes during the window before, during, and after the New Moon, which felt aligned with the energy shift it brought and people moving into the next phase of their journey. Thank you so much for being beautiful, resonant, heart homes for these beings! It makes me so happy to know there are wonderful collaborations coming together for the highest good.

There are six (all master carved) crystal skulls still awaiting to be seen by their person that includes one mystical white dragon/skull pair sitting atop a majestic light smoky castle for the Year of the Dragon. All individual crystals have been homed. Amongst the rest of the skulls are four small beauties that are easy to travel with you and also the rare, larger Pitico carved apatite in calcite skull – this one is almost half off its original value, as I passed along the savings I received and on top of that added more. If one feels to be calling and you have questions or need any assistance, please don’t hesitate to reach out or ask to reserve one. Here is the link: Crystals & Crystal Skulls

And if you watch the new episode, you’ll see how the essence of these two skulls (above) play into a part of deepening into our wholeness through both light and dark. I don’t know if anyone noticed this from the listing photos of these two separately, but I’ve always felt they made a perfect, sweet duo together – balancing duality, harmonizing shadow and light in a dance of alchemy, and supporting one’s wholeness at core levels, as they illuminate the highest versions for integration.

Both skulls are carved by Subhash Meena in the reflection of what is called a “magickal child,” helping to connect with the innocence, purity, joy, hope, wonder, and creative potential of your inner child and authentic soul and heart song.

One is a Himalayan quartz with many rainbows, chlorite, golden healer, and enhydros. The other is an obsidian with some silver sheen on one side.

They are already being offered on sale individually, but if anyone feels drawn to these dear ones together, please reach out as I’d be happy to provide a special to home them as a pair.

The journey of life is so unique to each soul. Although we share underlying themes, the way to work with them and how they play out is relative to the individual. 

Therefore, what you see playing out in the world doesn’t necessarily speak to your experience. So where you place focus and energy may tether you to something that wouldn’t otherwise be you and creates a division to your otherwise strength and wholeness for boundless creative vitality.  

Aligning with matching frequencies to who you are and what you want to create is key, regardless what others are doing. 

When I’m out snow shoeing in the middle of a storm, this is directly mirrored to me through my experience. 

For me, it’s enchantment and fun, with a whole world of potential blowing around me that I choose to experience through the eyes of my inner child. I forge my way and let the snow fall as it may around me, the wind blow through, and my warm heart untouchable by the cold. 

It is incredibly potent to be out in the wide open white-blanketed landscape without a soul around. And I am the paintbrush bringing new life and color into a new world of my creation.