Days move fast.

Time moves slow.

Flip of the hourglass and the reverse is so.

Layers upon layers are present in one drop of sand.

The seashore of my lineage builds and recedes with each memory come and gone.

And it all sifts through the vortex of my body like a grand oceanic wave of cosmic sparkle.

Everything blends into each other and duality is blurred.

Just as it always was, is and will be…the eternal One Heart is continuously stirred.

These words organically came through and like always, I just share what shows up in the flow of daily energy to lend to the experiences being woven through the collective tapestry.

Since our return home from our short road trip away, things have rapidly been unfolding and heightening in ways that mirrored the activity in the sky of geomagnetic storms, coronal mass ejections, and wide-spread Northern Lights sightings.

Although I’ve experienced all of this energy in personally energized and supportive ways, I know it’s been a mixed bag for many and I hope that it’s not too much.

And even though we have gone through a lot here in terms of major life changes with our family, I assure you I’m doing alright and am maintaining my balance and well being.

In fact, I’ve come to realize that I understand how to handle this thing called grief in a healthy way that helps me to be able to be there for others, including the soul that is transitioning.

I have been extra grateful for so much loving support for us all though. It’s a beautiful blessing to know you’re all so tenderly holding us in heart.

Before I jump into the main purpose of what will be a long post for sacred honoring, I just want to share about the energy of the days leading up, as everything always, for me, paints such a cohesive and integral picture of how held in love we really always are even when we may not think the world is going in our direction.

Great Mother energy has been coming up a lot in the last couple of weeks and of course that included Mother’s Day and a focus on prominent female figures and energy.

Amidst the changing landscape of our lives, we got to immerse in the love of family and celebrate the divine feminine that deserves recognition on more than just one day.

Beauty and love-filled nourishment surrounded us of course, compliments of both mom and dad, and I always value the time spent with my brother, as well, because of our rich and potent conversations that anchor in collective dynamics in very integrative ways.

We concluded our mother celebration with an evening of bunny yoga at the Mother’s Day event, which was both nurturing for the body and heart.

It was sweet to watch the bunnies being bunnies.

And I found myself doing rabbit adoption trainings the day after, as my role as counselor for Reno Rabbit Rescue becomes a regular part of my weeks. I feel like each time I do a training, I’m deepening into that Great Mother energy in the way that I advocate for the care of these beautiful beings in rabbit bodies.

And on Mother’s day morning, that abundant rabbit energy kicked off when a new visitor arrived at the Forest Portal. I was called to look out Sweet Pea’s favorite floor-to-ceiling picture window when a figure caught my eye near Frith’s safe little haven of bushes that guard his warren’s entrance. But this rabbit felt different from Frith.

I was taken in by this incredible being highlighted by a violet ray that was staring toward me, and the dark, almost tribal markings down their thin and mesmerizing face – markings different than those of Frith’s, including the ones on their body and even their coloring.

I felt feminine energy, yet prominent like the shamanic matriarch of otherworldly existence – just like Frith.

It felt uncanny that she was showing up just days after a sweet friend had asked if Frith had a family. I told her I didn’t know because I’d only ever seen one rabbit and it was the same face and essence – Frith.

I watched this beautiful creature who had a wise and not-just-rabbit presence, really observing to make sure of what I was seeing. And although carried similar shape-shifting essence to Frith, felt like a different rabbit.

At first it made me wonder if Frith was capable of moving in and out of different energy embodiments, but regardless, this was a feminine presence and that felt meaningful at this time.

I got very excited feeling that this very well may be Frith’s partner and it made sense that they’d both embody this beyond-rabbit essence. I was extra excited to think that they either have a litter of kits already or one will be on the way, since wild rabbits have babies between mid-February to September. The thought of a new generation from these two amazing souls delighted me greatly.

But it was the appearance of this Great Mother at this time that was so potent and aligned.

I named her Hyzenthlay – also from Watership Down.

The dark-eyed, brave, powerful and wise doe that escapes from Efrafa with the main character, Hazel, and becomes his mate.

Hyzenthlay’s appearance came on the heels of multiple daily sightings of Frith. And that has continued every day after as well.

This year is a full force Frith party. I’m seeing him at all hours – not just the usual dawn or evening ones.

There’s just so much excitement when he shows up, too. In fact, one day I was at my desk and caught a glimpse of him arriving into the garden and the next thing I know he was zooming back and forth with exuberance in the way I’ve only seen my indoor rabbit companions do when they are super excited.

I laughed out loud with joy and that joy deepens with knowing Hyzenthlay is by his side. Her presence seeming to be more elusive and mysterious. I love that.

In contrast, sadly, Mother’s Day eve we saw a beautiful dead doe on the road while making our way home. This felt foretelling of the clear messaging we received about Sweet Pea’s time to journey onward.

Many discussions had been taking place between us – Dave and me – and I did two rounds of tuning in with Sweet Pea. The first had presented us with her not quite being ready, that she had some fears she was working through and also that she was waiting for Dave to process things as well since she is his primary soulmate. And I talked with Dave, understanding what all of this meant, to help him work with things. She shared more and I imparted all of it for our ability to know her situation.

The second tuning in was clear – she was ready and gave me the date.

We spent our last three days doing special things together and being very present with each other. This included taking her on hikes and even a special evening in the enchanted faery garden.

In between things, Dave and I went on a short hike to process more and coyote was prominent again.

That same afternoon and evening brought a mysterious and magickal display of potent-energy thunderstorms, some rain, and quite the lightning show in the dramatic sky.

I went outside on our deck to watch it all shift before my eyes – each side of the sky a different evolving canvas of colors.

I was then gifted with the sighting of a rainbow peeking through the trees over the mountain in a purple and blue backdrop.

I watched as the lightning flashed its electric spark right through it.

Transformation was thick in the air.

Everything felt to be a perfect symphony of notes for the magnitude of Sweet Pea’s process, presence, and the impact that her final performance would have for our lives.

Even my tulips, daffodils and hyacinths seemed to be celebrating her, creating such a vibrant rainbow display of blossoms.

The tulips in particular – the first time I’ve had them – seemed especially connected to her and her energy. I mentioned that they looked to be creating a rainbow bridge for her to prepare the way.

It was evident her energy was waning and she would have bursts of vibrancy, then went back to her need to rest and reflect. She became increasingly in need of her mommy – me.

I think I mentioned how the dynamics shifted after Astrid left. Sweet Pea both wanted to comfort and heal me, as well as wanted to deepen her own bond we shared while Boojum needed Dave in his last months and days.

So Sweet Pea became very attached to me over the last eight plus months.

Another level of this I understood as her knowing I could handle things emotionally and that she could lean on me when for most of her life she’s always been the one to give of herself to everyone else. Indeed a selfless soul and unconditionally loving Great Mother to all.

In the last months and days she sought me out to play, comfort her, carry her everywhere, slept curled up next to me every night, and most importantly listen to her.

We’ve shared many deep conversations over our life together and this increased at the end.

She needed her mommy and I cherished the closeness she gifted me, as to be invited into her world was an honor.

She was not like Boojum who loved on anyone who would give him the attention he so desired.

Sweet Pea would stand back and feel everyone out. When she gave of her attention and heart, she really meant it and this spoke to both a trust and a promise to be there for you if in need.

She earns her name Sweet Pea indeed.

Even her tiny meows and purr-like growls were pure sweetness like a kitten’s. Sweet Pea always had a soft nature, unless she’d had it with her brother’s antics.

She would hold back a response until the energy built up enough, then she’d give him a big smack, hiss, and chase to let him know who was really in charge and enough was enough. She was the divine, compassionate mother and the tough love mother wrapped into one.

She was highly protective of her daddy and held to her promise of comforting and healing him all the days of their lives together. That contract was part of why she held on so long and what we had to release her from in order to know she had gone above and beyond her commitment. This was her time to do as she needed in the evolution of her essence.

She never demanded anything, but always kept watchful and wary eye on everyone’s well being. She would call you to the attention of someone in need – like Boojum – and even wrangle you up when it was time for bed. She was the all-loving mother and the all-seeing, wise grandmother. She would come to you if you were sad or in need of comfort, to give you healing energy by sitting on your chest or deeply gazing into your eyes with deep concern of acknowledgment.

One of my favorite things was when I’d watch a movie on nights Dave was away and she’d come lay on my chest and knead it with love and healing energy. It literally mesmerized me and I would melt into her touch.

She would never do what she thought was wrong and in fact would feel mortified if she faulted in any way. I had to help her to lessen up on these high self expectations. I recognized her because in many ways she reflected parts of me – both old parts I’ve released and others that I am conscious of continuing to transmute.

So we spent special days with her and the highlight was garden adventure day.

I got the idea that in between her hiking days we should take her into my garden so that she could explore and connect with the energy there, as well as imbue it with her softness and grace.

Our sweet little faery cat absolutely loved it and explored all my plants reaching for the Springtime sun, saying hello to the enchanted statues and faery houses, and slinked through the tall grasses and brush of the yard like a little bobcat.

She had a great time and we smiled so big to see her enjoy it all.

And we thoroughly enjoyed and cherished it too.

And she told us when she was done, by going up to the sliding glass door of my office and crying to let us know she was tired and ready to go in.

In fact, she also told me when she needed to pee by her little cries and big eyes, so that I could pick her up and put her in her litter box we brought outside for her.

She’s such a princess and good girl that she will absolutely not pee anywhere unless she has her box.

And on our last day, we took her to our special spot where we buried some of Boojum’s ashes and things so we could have a little ceremony with her and let her explore some more.

She had fun without her harness and prowled around like a little bobcat again.

Unlike Boojum she would never take off and likes to stay near us, so this granite outcropping area was perfect to let her have some time to herself and stretch her wild kitty paws into the feeling of freedom that awaited her.

We both had prepared something to share with her, just as we’d done with each of our babies, and read these out loud when she returned on her own to her little backpack princess carrier.

It was all perfect.

In our last hours before we awaited the earth angel who would assist her into her own angel wings, we just laid with her in our room where she sought out her favorite comforting sunshine spot.

I took this time to tune in with her and prepare her for the journey.

While laying next to her by the sliding glass door, she laid back into my face with her fur nuzzling me like a warm embrace.

After a while, she moved to the bench at the foot of our bed and there we spent the last hour and a half together.

Dave was doing yoga stretches and meditating next to me while I softly caressed Sweet Pea’s fur from shoulders to lower back without interruption for a full hour. And while I did so, I journeyed with her to the in between space and I showed her the beauty of both where she was headed and of herself.

It’s too much to share, but this whole process brought Sweet Pea to deep peace. So much so, she fell asleep. It was unlike her to lay still and not pull away, especially in these last days of needing time to herself and not always wanting to be touched like her brother Boojum – they had different ways. Dave noted this too, that it was so special she absorbed my touch and energy so much and if anything, went even deeper instead of retreating.

Sweet Pea fell so deeply that she began to twitch and dream. I knew she was with me in the vision space I had created and was making peace – nearly letting go. Her breathing was so slow and slight and at times would stop a while before another breath, that I thought she might actually go on her own. But instead, she was far away. And at one point, stretched her front paws fully out and then her back legs, and twitched some more. It was such a gift to see her so at peace and we knew she felt surrounded in love and security with where she was headed.

One thing I will mention about the space we were in, is the beautiful thing I experienced when she was readying to walk through the golden gateway.

I saw her morph from cat into this stunning being similar to human form, but with feline essence. She was an interdimensional beauty and shapeshifter with such grace and strength. I was grateful to have seen this larger part of her essence, which confirmed what I knew of her.

She was ready to fly.

The earth angel came knocking and then there was peace and lightness.

Sweet Pea returned to the dream space I had created with her and remembered the wings of her totality.

If you’re reading this now, we’ve already left on a road trip again, with a vibrant doe greeting us in the valley on the way out. The second side of the coin from Mother’s Day evening in discovering one dead.

With all the family changes in dynamics at home we felt that going away for a while would be most supportive, once our last child returned to the stars and Great Mother of all Creation. A way to process grief, build new experiences, connect and surround ourselves with loved ones, and shift the energy into the creation of a new era. And to have all of this Divine and Great Mother energy surrounding us recently, as you may recall from previous posts as well, holds us in the alchemical love perfectly supportive for that birthing.

We left the morning after Sweet Pea’s peaceful passing and I used some of the downtime when I wasn’t the one driving, to write this post as a memorialization for her and the sacredness around all of this. It’s very cathartic for me to do so and I’ve felt it to be an important part of the grieving process to both honor all of our fur children with these shares and as a means of closure.

We are now empty-nesters and this is a new experience for us both after so many years of fur children and life-impacting soulmate partners by our side. For me, twenty-one years of powerful rabbits and tortoise (as well as parakeets, tortoise and rabbit since I was twelve), and twenty-four years of powerful cats for Dave (as well as three dogs growing up).

The last eight and a half months have been a lot for sure, taking us through the transition of three extremely dear and life changing best friends, children, and guides – Astrid on August 30th, Boojum on March 26th, and now Sweet Pea on May 15th.

This shift is fitting, being that I entered a #9 personal year (in numerology) since my birthday and Dave will enter the same come his, because he follows after me.

This is a year of completion and closure, transitions, breaking free from the past, introspection, honing in on personal truth, discovering meaningful and conscious purpose for the new chapter ahead, emotional review, loss in order to gain spiritual richness, profound transformation from what’s been gleaned, and in essence a spiritual journey like that of the Hermit who awakens through a personal quest of inwardly guided wisdom.

Life and love goes on.

Cycles are fluid.

Grief is only possible because you care.

And the boundless spirit is present for us to experience in every expression of consciousness, no matter the form.

We’ll be away a little over a week and come June I’ll be sharing one last crystal skull release – a group that’s been wanting me to wait until that special month. There are also some new episodes upcoming for Talks With Crystal Skulls, a sweet story I was told to save until June as well, and I’m sure some changes up ahead. Summer Solstice celebrations and more, here we come!

Wishing you an expansive Sagittarius Full Moon.

Until then, celebrate each moment to the fullest extent possible. Each breath is precious.