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How Do You Define Success?

Do you find yourself always in pursuit of striving to ascend into what society or others have conditioned you to believe success “should” look and feel like?
To me, peace and passion is the essence of success.

If I am embodying and living those qualities and they run vigorously through my veins in any given situation and moment, then my life is in harmonious flow and I feel I’m living in alignment.
Alignment is the new “success”.
Stress, Communication & Relationships ~ A Glimpse Into My Life Processes With Each
I recently had the honor of answering some questions as part of a survey to provide insight for a friend’s book in process of being written.
The topic is such a prevalent and recurring theme that I thought I’d share my answers here to provide some perspectives that might support others, as well as give you a little window and inside look at me, as I share some insight into my own life and how I’ve learned to process it for myself and within my relationship.
What’s the topic, you ask?
Well…stress, of course!
So many are plagued by stress in their lives and it can be debilitating if you don’t learn how to manage and process it in your life.
There are many ways to support you with managing and shifting your relationship with stress like energy work, counseling, coaching, massages and body work, exercise, yoga, healthy releasing, crystals, self-nurturing, slowing down, etc.
I provide some of my own below.
Here are the questions and my answers following in red.
What is stress to you?
Stress for me is creating ideas of what I think I need to be doing rather than following the flow of what is in my heart. Stress feels to be a way that we self-sabotage ourselves and allow ego conditioning to override our intuitive nudges. Stress is the stories we tell ourselves and what we allow ourselves to believe. It’s foreign to our nature, which is why it wreaks havoc on our bodies to go against what we feel.
What’s the first situation that comes to mind that would make you feel really stressed, that you have to encounter regularly?
When I have a lot of things and stimuli coming at me all at once.
Are you able to pinpoint why these things make you feel stressed?
Because they over-tax my sensitivities and I get overwhelmed with the immediate reaction of “how will I get it all done?” from the place of conditioned ideas. The idea of feeling overpowered by external things in that moment, rather than immediately realizing I control my response by the perspectives I have and the choices I make. Once I remind myself and step back into observer mode, I’ve learned that my process is to then retract within and feel into my natural energy, which isn’t the “stuff” around me. And then focusing on just one thing at a time, only looking to the immediate in front of me, and asking myself what is really important and what really isn’t. Stepping back into my essence and power, knowing that what is important to do will get done and the rest simply wasn’t important.
What are your top things to do to relieve stress?
Time spent with my rabbits, in nature, listening to music, doing my own sound healing, dancing, stepping back and going within to remember what is me and not me – what is my energy and not my energy, talking through it with myself and understanding my processes, communicating with someone dear to me to allow my energy to move through me, writing.
Relationships – Questions for Partnered Ladies
What are your main frustrations in your relationship?
Actually most of the frustration will stem from stress that one or the other might feel and THEN we can get easily triggered. This used to be very challenging when we didn’t have good communication or didn’t understand in the heated moments of stress how to support one another through it rather than take it personally. Now we do realize this so when it comes up we are able to have a healthy dialogue once we take a moment and realize what is really happening and it’s not about either of us. But it takes stepping out of ego even when things could easily go another way.
What are the main ways you feel your guy does not understand you?
He tends to operate more logically and I’m more about intuition and feeling, with belief based on an inner knowing rather than proof. So it can be challenging for him to understand my processes with things or how I feel so strongly about things that can’t be seen, but it’s simply because this is something he, himself, is working on incorporating more of into his life, as he really IS very intuitive and is in the process of cultivating that. So it’s just that it isn’t a regular experience for him yet. Just as I’ve had to learn to harness the gifts of both sides of the brain in a healthy partnership that knows when each is valuable and can support one another, bringing in wise discernment. So it’s just another way for ego not to get in the way of taking things personally or feeling like one has to defend or prove something, and to continue to be compassionate toward the places we are individually, and learning from each other the value of each perspective and approach.
When you have a communication breakdown, what are your strategies for resolving that?
We have made commitments to working as a team and seeing the relationship as teamwork that has the same goals and so we focus on finding the connective thread with what each of us is feeling or wanting to accomplish or express. When we see that our intentions are shared, we can then find a way together to bring both of our strengths to the table to get there. We also make efforts to really listen and be more present rather than being in our heads and trying to come up with a reactive thought when the other is expressing themselves. If one person is upset then that’s when we take turns being the one to hold the center for the other. Doing our best not to allow ourselves to take things personally or attack back, which is a reactive approach of defense that has been learned. Instead, we communicate from a place of saying things from the perspective of the other person…like “this is what I’m hearing you say” rather than projecting our thoughts. It truly is a journey and commitment to do this and sometimes it’s easier and quicker than others. Definitely hasn’t always been this way, but we have come a long way and the result is an enriched and deepened relationship because of the work we’ve committed to doing together. Relationships that have gone through challenges and have been able to work through things together can be some of the strongest, most beautiful, and loving partnerships. Having things always smooth, easy, and looking like some idea of “perfection” doesn’t necessarily equate to that.
Inner Peace Leads To Freedom
These photos from yesterday symbolically go perfectly with the post I just shared from four years ago, “Setting My Inner Horse Free For Good.”
I especially love the sea gulls and the feeling I felt when they came flying at me – a beautiful reflection of unbridled freedom that I now have, feel, and embody in my life.
Peace in. Peace out.
A freeing peace that can’t be touched by anything.
(I just so happen to be wearing a shirt that says “peace” inside of a heart – my heart)
Gratitude isn’t a strong enough word to convey the magnitude of it all.
But the feeling is in the photos…as they say a picture paints a thousand words.








Peace Doesn’t Have To Wait For Death
There continues to be a lot of souls choosing to transition at this time (both in human and animal bodies) and many others experiencing recurring or new serious health challenges.
It really is beyond our solely human capacities to understand and grasp the why’s around this. Nothing makes sense to the heart that feels a sense of attachment to special souls in our lives and that wants greatly to have that physical closeness and tangible presence with us always.
And yet, we do grasp, at least in the conceptual way, that there is something beyond our understanding and that these souls, although depart physically, are truly never far from us.
It’s our emotions, attachments, and personal desires that struggle with this.
And it takes time to heal those wounds we feel and to come to a deeper place of resolve and peace that can’t happen because of what someone tells us, but happens when we begin to experience life and death in a different way – one in which Nature is lovingly reflecting to us daily.
There are seasons of the soul, just as there are seasons of Nature.
Everything is constantly renewing itself and transmuting itself.
And while death seems permanent to humans, in the Cosmic landscape it is a process of renewal, just as stars die and are reborn again.
Everything around us, on and off-planet, goes through this continuous cycle of “birth” and “death” constantly and yet we think nothing of that until it hits closer to home.
The more emotionally attached we are, and the more immediate environment of people and things we value are affected, the more challenging these natural renewals are to us.
Otherwise the “idea” of separation and distance, along with some cognitive dissonance sometimes seems to shelter us.
Although there are many of us who mourn the passing of trees and plants, as well as parts of Earth that have disappeared or been destroyed over time, for instance, it is mostly the ego attachments to who and what we hold closest that pose a threat to our emotional stability and our mental clarity when faced with that inevitable experience of someone physically leaving our lives.
I’ve written many times on my own experience with “death” that hit me closest to home for the first time with my twin soul, Nestor – the only experience that really asked of me to make peace with what I know beyond what my immediate feelings of attachment would have me otherwise believe.
And I know I will go through this process again with my precious little ones that are gracefully aging in Earth years, as well as others close in heart.
I’ve been able to feel immediate peace with other transitions around me, in large part because of what I learned through that experience with Nestor.
But I also seemed to have some rare, innate grasp of death from early on, as I remember sitting in a funeral of our most dearest family friend so very long ago (a friend who’s last name just so happens to have been “Nestor”) and leaning over to whisper to my brother, “I don’t understand why everyone is so sad. I feel we should be celebrating her.”
My nudge to post about this wasn’t to go into detail on the ways of processing this, as it really is an individual experience and when it feels unbearable, deserves your attention to work in a way that is supportive to your needs, and perhaps with someone who can help guide you through that so it doesn’t get to the point of your walking through life, lifeless, but instead you learn to thrive again as your loved one encourages, supports, and continues to do so from where they are.
My nudge was that this is happening a lot and is going to continue to amp up because of the tremendous shifts taking place on a grand scale.
And it’s going to involve people you would not even imagine it would happen to.
I’ve had more people than ever, closer to me, transitioning.
And they aren’t people you’d necessarily think would be, nor are they of any age you’d naturally link to their passing.
That is part of my reason of addressing this, to bring to light that there are reasons beyond your comprehension, as to why.
I’ve experienced several people transition recently including a grandpa, other family members and family friends, animals I knew intimately, a dear friend in his late 50’s, a man I once dated in his early 50’s, and a sweet friend only 39 who shared my birthday – 2/26.
The last two just transitioned recently in September and on December 20th.
Most of the people I know have passed via different forms of cancer – that’s the physical vehicle that assisted their soul’s transition.
And they, like many others, were living very spiritual lives.
In the case of my sweet friend who passed just nine days ago, she was the epitome of joy – a true sparkly Faery, love, embrace, gratitude, spiritual consciousness, was living her dream running a small b&b retreat center with her beloved soulmate husband in Hawaii, ate consciously, shared her gifts of art, healing, animal communication, etc. and yet despite everything, her soul was ready.
I’m happy to share she went in peace from what I heard.
From the outside people tend to judge things or have fears come up around situations seen only superficially.
How could someone be so conscious and still leave their human body?
How can such a condition have happened to them with all of their efforts?
What does this mean in terms of working towards being more conscious and growing in my own life, if there are no guarantees?
These are valid questions in terms of the ego fear within us and our conditioned ideas about things, but we fail to understand that each soul truly does have a choice.
Only that soul knows what their path is and when their time is done here.
In terms of people living consciously and embracing everything every step of the way until the end, these are people making peace with their soul essence that knows….they come to understand, or do understand something we can’t comprehend until we face the same or unless we have a connection to that knowing already.
With each of my dear friends, they all were at peace during their last months and when they passed. And they all came to personal resolutions and had opportunity to do that with others.
Does this mean every little aspect of their lives were some idea of perfect?
I’d have to answer with a question to that and ask, what does that mean exactly since life is whole in its perfect imperfection?
And secondly, you can have experiences and yet still come to a place of peace and resolve, and realize that’s all that was needed…so to let go is more than okay.
It’s natural.
It’s a part of the spiraling cycle.
It’s surrendering to that peace found within everything experienced.
So although their physical condition seemed much like a violent attack, they stood at center of that and embraced it and were okay with what unfolded, either way.
In one of the cases, I know this firsthand, as I had opportunity to have a last conversation with one of these dear souls and it was just as I shared in terms of what I heard and felt in our exchange.
Souls know when they’ve completed what they came to experience.
They may even come to know they can do more from another state of existence now.
Through their human death they will leave a great opportunity for those around them to learn and expand from and understand their collective part in the bigger picture unfolding.
In many cases they come to find that sweet spot of truly understanding the beauty of life and death wrapped up in one, of the wonder in experiencing the bitter and sweet, depths and heights, and duality all at once.
They understand that state of transcendence and bestow their emanating vibration of this to those around them.
It is not something we have to wait until our physical death to experience.
We can make peace with it right here and now…to know and walk the beautiful path of harmony amidst the darkest hours of life and the brightest, and come to embody that state of gratitude for this ability to experience this – the gift we have as spiritual embodiments of this sacred merging.
This has been my state of most recent experience, I’ve likely in less public ways have been sharing a lot more of the extent of that with those dear to me…where I’m continuing to bridge that gap of being in “spiritual skin” and coming to know that state of peace more intimately now.
This continues to deepen and increase daily.
I have absolutely no fear of physical death.
I have complete peace with anything that could happen to me today or tomorrow.
I have complete peace with when I’ll choose that.
I have embraced living as fully as possible, as if it were my last day and don’t push off things I want to do or feel are important to my path to be doing, or express what I feel important to share.
I also remind myself, when I slip into stress of any kind, how unimportant any of it is and then focus back on what truly is of value.
I’ve felt death close at hand before and how fragile and easily that veil is lifted to pass through.
I’ve teetered on the edge between life and death where the line was but a choice within my inhale and exhale.
And I know when my time draws near that it will be in the perfect way my soul chooses, despite what that appears on the outside because our lives are not lived as islands unto ourselves. The way things play out always has purpose far beyond the obvious and will take place in the way most beneficial for the highest good of all concerned.
There is no right or wrong way. There is simply the way we’ve chosen to show up as our individual Cosmic song.
I don’t have to wait until the day of my own shift in physical reality to know this.
And neither do any of us.
The secret that these people hold who have passed seemingly abruptly and in some cases “shockingly,” despite any outside judgment on how that happened, is one we can walk through life with…not waiting until what ever afterlife you believe awaits.
- Gratitude for everything available in this gift of Earthly life you’ve come to experience.
- Inviting the shadow of peace that always walks beside, in front, or behind you to step back into your heart in the here and now.
We can still work towards changes we would like to create and put into action new ways and systems to shift things vibrationally and tangibly, but there’s also no reason that you can’t experience peace during that entire process and amidst anything that is happening while change is taking place.
The existence of all varieties of energies are a guidepost to your own peaceful resolve.
Through that, everything transforms before your eyes and in terms of how you experience life.
I celebrate all of the beautiful souls that are lighting the way.
A Little Message Before I Head Off
I’m heading out in a few hours for a long weekend through Monday and will not be posting while I’m away. Taking some time off in the mountains and snow, skiing, snow-shoeing and relaxing. Taking all the little ones along for the fun and perhaps I’ll have a good story to share when I return, as being a neutral zone it may be opportune time to start face-to-face bonding with Joy and Cosmo. 🙂
In the mean time, a message I want to share comes from Cosmo in fact.
In the evenings I spend time with him doing his physical therapy with the cart, walking around while I support him, and his extension exercises. After, we lay on a towel on the floor together and just snuggle after all his hard work.
And the thing that hits me the most about him is his message of pure love and joy. He is SO happy…ALL of the time. He is not stuck in sadness of his situation, nor does he perceive there to be a situation worth dwelling over. The perceived limitation others may feel sad about in observing him, is not on his radar. He simply is grateful for what he has and the love he gets to share and receive.
I can’t tell you how much he moves me because of this. He just trucks on and doesn’t let anything stop him from seeing how much there is to be grateful for and how precious what he does have is to cherish.
And for rabbits, this is a feat in its own, as they are so sensitive and fragile and can easily go into a state of pain and sadness where they huddle in a ball and do not want to eat or do anything…They simply give up or wait out the pains and struggles.
But I’ve seen this time and time again with humans as well. It always seems that the people who have what others would consider huge disadvantages, are the ones who are teaching us the most about love, belief, gratitude, and strength. They live life with the knowing that they are whole, abundant, and perfect just as they are, and that there is nothing they can’t achieve if they keep on believing. These people are awe-inspiring and instantly make you realize that all of the challenges you are experiencing can be seen as gifts to rise to the occasion.
It’s interesting that in his medical records, a previous veterinarian had written that he has a plump heart – that it’s a bit larger than normal (and might need meds down the road because of this). I find this symbolically interesting, as perhaps it is evidence that the more you love and the more you expand and deepen your heart, the more your life will be enriched.
So, to everyone who feels down and out, I hope this is a seed to inspire you.
I know for me right now Cosmo is my personal hero. No matter what the day greets him with, he is there with open heart, joy, peace, and a lot of loving licks!
Peace Within…Peace Without
Yesterday I took a walk through the San Joaquin Wildlife Sanctuary not far from home. The intentional journey circled around several large ponds and meandered and spiraled through paths lined thick and dense so only what was immediately ahead could be seen because of the constant turns creating blind paths.
This calls forth insight that stems from inner illumination where no more than what is necessary to see in the immediate path is possible or needed – something challenging to embrace when all we want is answers and yet this desire for answers stems from a state of suffering we have decided on some level to allow.
It’s hard to realize that we do not need to know anything but what is before us in this miraculous moment, which we take for granted due to the inability to release ourselves from the bondage of spiraling suffering we have been uncomfortably accustomed to live with, and conditioned in many ways to accept. In some cases, unconsciously perpetuating this for reasons beyond the human emotion’s comprehension. And yet there is an ironic symbiosis to the seeming and frustrating madness.
This called to mind how we are to embrace each step and moment without expectation or attachment, but simply the trust that is imbued with unseen and undefined promise that can take flight at any moment we recognize that our wings were never irreparably broken – they were simply unrealized.
It was a chilly, gray, and somber day that called for silence and an inner stillness that heralded today’s Winter Solstice. Even the birds at the sanctuary were quiet and quite still. They too seemed to embrace the inner world, welcoming the potency of this illuminating darkness.
Life and Winter can seem stark, firm, and cruel. And yet, somehow Nature does it with such grace.
What does She know that we have forgotten? What does She reflect that we are unable to see?
Perhaps our “need” to see something more than the astoundingly crazy beautiful miracle of this very moment, no matter how it appears and feels, is our own created prison. Perhaps our defining beliefs, both personally and collectively accepted, limit our ability to understand the sacred creation at hand. And yes, perhaps our emotional attachments, while so enrapturing, have also placed boundaries on our limitless expansion when they don’t meet desired expectations.
Maybe renewal is already within this very moment…the moment the unconditional light of understanding and inner illumination is lovingly and gently ignited by our true openness to its presence, here and now, accessed within and by our innately powerful selves.
We are encouraged every day by everything around us to understand these simple truths and to embody them as naturally as All That Is around us does.
Nature and the nature within each of us constantly demonstrates, reflects, and communicates what people seek in answer.
It is BOTH in the light and the dark, neither or either, and in them, but not of them – simultaneously.
In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. ~Mahatma Gandhi
In stillness the world is restored. ~Lao Tzu


