You are the first garden you must learn to tend. There is no one else that can do this as well as you. How little or how much you care about this garden, shows. The kinds of things you nourish yourself with, how much you cultivate certain practices as important, and the things you choose to give energy to mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually will have an effect on how you show up in the world.
Life used to seem so complicated to me until I realized that I was the only one making it that way. By buying into all of these ideologies that were part of “this or that” ways of believing, I created a lot of nonsensical pressures that had absolutely nothing to do with the essence of me.
And yes, that included the spiritual realms I was drawn to move more into as I journeyed through life.
The bottom line that I learned, is that I never really wanted to belong or feel assured by any particular group or movement. I always had only desired to be contently me – just like Nature and the Cosmos both are.
Everyone has their own journey, but it took completely undoing myself, stripping away all the energetic debris that had brushed off of everyone onto me, in order to do that.
I still fully believe had it not been for jumping into an RV for a year and a half to immerse in nature, I would not be here still. And yet it’s also on that adventure into the unknown that literally the old story me walked out of my body in a river, and a new story walked in.
I would never be the same again, nor could I go back ever again – even if I wanted to.
Ever since then, I’ve been recalibrating what it feels like to be in this body with a fresh soul perspective. It’s taken time to feel things out, explore the possibilities to cultivate, and decide where to go from here.
Kind of like being a child all over again, but having a different level of consciousness.
It’s much like my garden after Winter’s frost and snow.
Everything is fertile, lively, and jubilant to feel the warmth of the Sun, wiggle, stretch, and unfurl every inch of life loose from the soil, see what will be possible in terms of abundant growth, wonder what will bloom or what will wait to gain greater strength for the next season or year, and what just goes all out to create the most incredible burst of life right here and now.
With less than two years until I turn 50, I see what the previous me who was just starting out in body then, had felt all along about this time period of my life. I always experienced things as if I was outside of myself watching myself go through everything and although knew better, relinquished to the feeling of purpose it all had to just go through it. I felt on some level that the real choices and freer me would begin in the latter half of my life.
That earlier life was both a mirage to keep me occupied and undo patterns and illusions, while things in the world were playing out, and also an intricate labyrinthian journey to the center of me.
I was on a complex crash course so I could re-enter the world with simplicity.
Stripping down to the bare me.
And literally unzipping my body suit so that a whole new emanation of myself could slip in upon the old one’s release.
Every time I look at my garden – each season, each day, and several times a day – I see this release taking place in every moment while new life steps in.
There’s reason my garden is just steps outside of my creative space and office. There is a mirroring that takes place every minute I make a new choice.
I find it easier and easier to let go of things and make peace my daily goal. I experience the simplicity of life unfolding as its own work of art at every stage. I finally feel comfortable in my skin in a way that both honors my human expression that I decided to have at this time on Earth AND my Cosmic connection that merges with me daily in gratitude for the opportunity to experience it all and live out the potentials I can contribute with others to create.
It’s as if both the land all around us where we live – the forests, mountains, lakes, and meadows, as well as the land I’m nurturing into a garden and yard while also supporting its wild, raw nature to do as it pleases, have become one with me.
And the more I drop into that deeper connection within, the more I seem to physically change alongside Nature, naturally.
I love to adorn myself like my flowers and join the dance, but I also love to be raw like the soil, rocks, bark, and moist sprouts. I feel whole in any expression, but only walk in expressions that are me in every moment of my wild heart’s resonance – not for anyone else and not to mirror anyone else.
We are each our own flower and plant within the garden of life – no less or more than any other. Yet, what the land, Nature, and Earth teach us, is that great care is needed to support a thriving, harmonious and abundant garden.
Yes, that’s you!
It’s amazing how much of that rainbow and portal energy keeps showing up in photos, as you’ll see below, especially when I’m out being with all of it, standing stronger in my essence, nurturing myself alongside my copartnering outdoor realm, and adding recognition of the magick that is here with little touches of enchanted beings and portals of my own.
I mentioned that I would share some photos of the yard and garden before things really start to emerge and today’s Earth Day felt like the best time to do that, along with messages of tending to our inner and outer gardens as being equally essential and worth the devotional investment.
I like to document the before and after and to see how much things evolve from onset of one season to the next.
I’ve taken these photos in this post over a period of the last two to three weeks, during which several new friends have joined the garden.
Most of them are solar lights, as I truly love the twilight and night magick they create, but some are simply sweet souls who spoke to me. Some I’ve already shared, so I’ll only introduce the new ones.
We have this cute little blossom snail who lives near one of the new solar faery houses at the pathway entrance.
Then there’s these ever-precious ones – a rabbit riding a tortoise. I just HAD to bring them home as they remind me of Joy and Gaia who were best friends and I really was feeling my Russian Tortoise, Gaia, needed to be part of the garden here along with the rabbits and magickal beings. They are so life-like, it’s truly endearing.
Incredibly, but not surprisingly, look at the energy that showed up RIGHT after I placed them by the gnome and faery portal door at the base of one of the guardian trees where there are also crystals laid in the ground as a path in front of the door.
It took me a little while to hear where they wanted to go, but I think they’re happy here, don’t you?
Then there’s this beautiful mushroom blossom solar light that sits to the right, next to the pathway.
It has a monarch and poppy – like the ones that grow in my garden – on top.
And last, this gorgeous, enchanted moon faery with solar light orb. I just love how she’s holding a star and blowing it a kiss.
And of course you already saw these two twin white bunnies who are ever-so wonderfully overseeing the growth of my yellow lilies.
It’s one happy, secret faery garden family! And still growing!
I have many ideas that are incubating like the seeds beneath the soil.
Check out all these happy wildflower babies reaching for the sunshine!
The rainbow energy and portals seem to confirm a Cosmic smile of the harmony being created here too.
And the forest animals are all expressing their happiness as well. Their fountain and bowl are filled regularly with fresh water, which brings every variety of bird in for baths and drinks, along with chipmunks and squirrels enjoying a nice refreshment too. There’s a chickadee couple that loves to visit me when I’m out watering the garden, but it was this Steller’s Jay just two days ago that was the sweetest.
Usually the Steller’s Jay are much louder and like to boldly vocalize their dominion over certain spaces or at least express their boundaries and voices. This one started off talking in similar fashion, but the tone was different and wanted my attention. Then when he knew he had it his voice softened into what would be similar to a cat’s purr. It was a little bit like a sweet cooing that doves and pigeons make, but more. It reminded me of our parakeets that would fluff out and nuzzle into us warmly with affection. This was a cuddly sweet talk that felt like he was so happy and if I’d been on the branch with him, he would have snuggled into me and expressed his joy.
A love song and dance perhaps? He was definitely quite comfy and pleased.
Equally pleased is the yard out front that’s in a dance of yellow daffodils and wild dandelions right now with even more still on the way that are on their own blooming timelines. We have a large tree on the lawn that will be surrounded by blooms soon, which will look like a faery ring. These current daffodils followed my late Winter, pre-Spring, birthday purple irises. And there will be tulips coming soon too. I intend to plant a ton more bulbs come Autumn.
Step-by-step things evolve.
I spent time clearing the yard and garden, tidying old growth up, and planted a ton of wild flower seeds in the garden to add to all the wild growth already sprouting like crazy. Tiny clover is beginning to return on the lawn in patches. I’m looking forward to seeing it all filled in again. For now, this is a transitional time period where the brown and dried remains of Winter turn over, mirroring our own in between phases.
I’m still waiting for my favorite store to get in their herbs, veggies, and flowers, so I can add some things to my Garden Tower and garden. For now, I did find four little sweet basil plants I added to the Tower for Astrid and they smell SO good.
Well, all of what’s already growing back in the Tower does. The sweet basil is doing really well alongside all of the lovely regrowth from last year of mint, lavender, strawberry plants, wild flowers, thyme, parsley, and other herbs. The basil plants are the only new babies I’ve planted so far. Everything else you see everywhere is what’s naturally coming in on its own.
Incredibly, I even have two baby pine trees that have decided to make the Tower their incubation realm. They’ve been growing there since last Spring. I even have a couple more growing in pots. If they actually are able to stay healthy and strong, I’ll likely let them grow a bit more and then try to transplant them. They seem happy for now though with their friends.
Perhaps the tree frog that made the Tower her home last year wanted her own forest here too. 🙂 I hope she’ll return.
Here in the mountains things take a little longer since temperatures are colder longer and more variable, but there are always those plants and blooms who like to do their own thing and just go all out when ever they please – just as I mentioned before.
We actually had a little snow last night that I saw remnants of on the deck railings, rain the night before, and some snow a day or two before that. It all melts immediately, but things are not predictable here.
Every one of these plants and blooms has a little bit of me in them and vice versa. So, too, does the variety of terrain in the mountains that we have. Even the weather mirrors my own shifting waves of energy and wild unpredictability. We share a symbiotic relationship and the more increased time I spend outdoors, which is daily as it is, the more I relax into me.
And the more me I am, the easier it is to ride any energy currents that flow in and out around me.
The more me I am, the more easily I recognize what is me and what is not me.
The more in touch with myself I feel, the more I can handle things that pop up and they aren’t so surprising.
The more I tend to the garden of me, the more peace, flow, vitality, and compassion I experience.
Our Spring Scorpio Full Moon on this coming Monday night of the 26th is going to be a Super Pink Moon – the first Supermoon of the year.
This could be a more difficult and deeply emotional or triggering Moon to navigate through due to the challenging planetary aspects surrounding it that may bring to surface some unexpected things. With Sun in Taurus and Moon in Scorpio right now, we are being prompted to look at the contrasts of form and transformation, personal joy with the simple and sensual aspects of life and the intangible complexities of shared things, building and comfort and destruction and change, and how we can find balance with these.
This is a time for going deeper and exploring our values and the far-reaching effects they have. While we are in a Taurus cycle of grounding spirit in flesh, Scorpio then calls up the mysterious, secretive, and repressed so that we may need to be more vulnerable in order to understand ways of finding peace within ourselves even when the world seems upside down, or when we are being called to deconstruct, let go, and recreate what we thought was the holy grail of our lives.
The more we can tend our inner gardens, the more we understand the Nature of things and how to partner with them more effectively, if in fact we desire seeing a more thriving world and Earth.
Be bold, brave and unafraid to create those massive Cosmic ripples – this was yesterday’s message from Bald Eagle.
This last photo is from yesterday’s bike ride. The day before, while riding along the lake, I had a vision of Bald Eagle flying near, although did not see one with my eyes. This continued when I was sun bathing on the deck later, feeling Bald Eagle close and like he could land on the roof any minute. Little did I know that the next day we would actually have a visit.
When we arrived to the lake we biked to Dave, who didn’t know I had been thinking about Eagle, asked “When was the last time we saw that one Eagle at the lake here?”
At that moment Eagle flew overhead and landed in the tree across the lake. You can catch glimpse of him here with a second Eagle to the left in the shadows.
I love stuff like that.
When we’re in tune with ourselves, everything conspires in unison.
Eagle symbolizes freedom and courage to look ahead, the value of vulnerable truth and revealing honesty, liberation, electrifying inner vision clarity, embody the Spring, dawn, and new life, and to Native Americans are Earthly incarnations of the Thunderbird spirit who shoots lightning bolts from her/his eyes to invoke revitalization, rebirth, creation, and transformative healing. Eagles carry the messages of spirit and are the divine channels to receive these from.
A perfect messenger for this time of year, the upcoming Full Moon, and the unfolding energies on the planet right now.
Happy Earth Day!
Both Astrid and I have been feeling this Scorpio Full Moon in the days leading up to it quite strongly. I wasn’t paying attention specifically to it, but Astrid just like all rabbits, was hugely attuned to the Moon and the Cosmic frequencies pulsing through Earth. She gave me her wise and endearing look when I had that a-ha moment of connecting dots to recent experiences with the energies abound. She knows I don’t need confirmations of things, but that it does put reason to the rhyme of cycles that take place seemingly out of the blue.
There is definitely a collective release taking place and a ton is shifting on the subtle inner landscapes, which I feel is what is happening to so many people I’ve heard from where there’s a mix of intensity surging through alongside breakthroughs. It’s also what’s playing out on the world-wide level.
I recently explained it like this to a dear friend after my post about releasing the In Lak’ech series of Five paintings:
After posting that yesterday, I found myself done for the day. It was kind of a collapse or surrender. I am feeling the collective release it involves, which I feel is taking place right now across the globe, as we enter greater depths of these shadow parts finally. They are awakening to the conscious level more, or at least starting to surface or break away… this reminds me of cleaning a caked-on greasy pan in sink water. The more you scrub, the dirtier and murkier the water gets, and it might take a while to scratch away at it, but small particles release and eventually surface before everything is wiped away. It feel like the collective is at these stages of scrubbing and releasing stuff into the consciousness pool and now we’re all figuring out what to do with them and what kind of clarity we would like to see come from it. And individually, we’re doing this too for the collective…Although I know we are constantly cracking these codes to free us of conditioned enslavement, the impact on these subtle levels is so tricky. We may see it, or not, but then to actually do something with it is a whole other thing.
We are left with a dilemma, when once we tap into more of our true power, as to what we want to create from here on forth.
Astrid and I have both been going through a huge purging on the outer landscape, to reflect what we’re shifting on the inner landscape.
I shared about it on my Instagram and that’s what the photo above is about, which felt so fitting for Astrid’s post message today about letting go.
This was the caption I used for it:
After a year and a half of enjoying her royal throne, with only small redecorating touches recently, she decided to follow in mom’s footsteps and completely go wild with change. She’s been watching me with wide eyes, as first I did tiny changes (and so she mirrored that) and then I undid both our shared office space and my bedroom closet, throwing things on the floor and bed big time (and so she did the same), as I completely revamped everything with the biggest Spring purge and reorganizing I’ve done to date. Immediately in response, Astrid decided to go crazy on her chair and not only broke through the pretty adornments I’d added for her from her last redecorating choice, but took out the foam insides into bunches of pieces! I couldn’t do anything but laugh when I saw her laying like this so proud with evidence of her work all around her, as if to say to me, “look at the work I’ve done too so I can embrace the new!” So, I’ve since redecorated her center rug without chair, which she’s feeling out and enjoying so far. I did find another chair, in case she decides she wants one again, that I think may work very well for her without need for “redecorating” but am holding off to see how she likes the new set up first and will go from there. Gotta love her! We’re so much alike!
We are both enjoying the fresh openness created by these changes, which allows for the new to flow in more freely and easily. It’s also enabled us to draw in what is frequency-aligned because of our shifts, while also holding an open free space for the unknowns we can’t see yet to find their way to us.
Sometimes we don’t know what is to come or what something looks like that we want, but in letting go, we clear our energy fields so the clarity of that authentic-now inner voice can bring to us the perfect things we had no idea with our minds would be for our highest.
A clear heart draws in clarity.
We become the abundant beings that we are and the way to draw in something aligns all on its own because of taking that action of trust.
Every time we trust and release, abundant energies continue as they are meant to, by flowing in and out.
This Scorpio Moon highlights letting go, regenerating, deepening, intensifying, creating more intimacy with all of our parts, reclaiming our essence and inner wisdom, delving into the mystique and magick of the inner labyrinth, invoking greater courage, clarifying more understanding, making way for the new, and reviewing or perhaps even renewing any intentions you may have.
A flooding of emotions can definitely be part of this, as fears, deep unconscious and shadowy stuff releases into light.
I’ve noticed that since Astrid’s chair was removed, she’s spent a lot of time on the center of her round sparkly green, grass-looking rug under her favorite black iron butterfly sleigh where magickal things sit atop the three platforms that float above her.
It feels to be like an etheric rabbit tunnel of that deep mystery, magick, and Cosmic abyss she is harnessing for transmutation.
I get that she wanted some more open space right now as a clear slate she and I can create from.
Astrid shares, “As you write your new story, so am I. And yet, we are writing it together. One that tells of many journeys yet to share in ways creativity has yet to birth. We are engaging a Cosmic excavation accessed deep within our hearts and it connects us both to the heart of ourselves, and to one another – to include all consciousness. Most importantly it connects us to the heart of creation that is ours to weave anew. So what holds you back? Although time is an idea, there is no greater moment than now to begin. It doesn’t matter what has gone before. With every discomfort and stretch you dismantle the hold of roots awaiting the elixir of your love. What blossoms is of your making.”
I don’t know about any of you, but I for one have enough of anyone writing my story for me. And that includes the stuff I carry as both past fears, perceived limitations, and shared ancestral and collective conditioning.
Astrid is a protector of the sacred, embodied in a strong, courageous, and enduring rabbit body. She walks the worlds of both light and dark. She is both warrior and harmony keeper. She is a bridge of understanding and compassion because she has walked in each reality and can move in and out when necessary. She is action-oriented and also eternally patient.
She is a warrior of unconditional love in its highest form.
Today happens to be Cosmo’s birthday – my sweet rabbit son in the stars. He would have been 13.
He is an ambassador of love and compassion in pure essence.
Astrid is like the great guardian or protector of what he stands for both because she is the same AND because she has extra layers that enable her to merge into worlds he needn’t step into. He is the energy and she both is that energy as well as protects it with the ability to engage on levels that invoke the seed of potential to stir.
We all have different gifts and to embrace with clarity what they are is part of this letting-go energy through self-reflection that permeates.
If we are willing to see the hidden, which can be engaged with curiosity and a willingness to simply observe it without judgment, we can begin to bridge a new and more clear understanding of what stories have been our motivations in life.
We can see what has been working overtime in the background simply because we didn’t acknowledge it.
To have that willingness to see something creates a click within.
Just because we see it, doesn’t mean it can hurt us.
It only hurts us when we don’t want to see it, so it sabotages our lives because it can.
Astrid and I send our deepest love to you during these reflective and intense energies. You are not alone.
Intensities abound indeed…I know you are all feeling it in your own unique way. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard from who are in the midst of some pretty “wow” experiences that feel to be “out of the blue” breakdowns and shake-ups, and yet it’s just the core stuff surfacing with a loud blaring siren and red stop light in order to say, “hey, you haven’t been able to hear me before, but perhaps now you will”.
Time to slow it down, stop altogether even, so that you can go within and learn how to harness these “surprises” into creating catalysts for change and breakthroughs to what you’ve been wanting all along, but were afraid to look at, or unable to, for one reason or another.
What I’m seeing is that the energy constantly playing out is the same “drama”, but the director’s hats just change in terms of how we’ll get to the plot via the different influences of each directing energy. In this case, tomorrow’s Full Moon is being directed by Scorpio.
So when we introduce ourselves to Mr. or Ms. Scorpio, here is what we will be focused on in our new Scorpio-focused role currently.
Deep emotional truth.
Yep, there’s a need to be honest and vulnerable here folks, with integrity that is consistent with your essence and not your temporary costume. Scorpio helps us to remove more layers and reveal fresh skin through deep purging. It will take the form of symbolic or literal deaths in some cases (interesting I discovered a sweet little dead bird today that one of the cats had brought to me – I just finished giving it a proper burial and blessing).
It simply just is time to take accountability for choices, or no choices, that you have or haven’t wanted to make. And the thing is, these “surprise” intensities you’re experiencing are simply because your soul is calling out to be more actively engaged in empowered, consciously aware choices that are guided by your heart.
So if you’ve chosen not to choose before, and pushed things aside, now you’re having the opportunity to choose again, and perhaps with the wisdom of experience that glaringly understands your well-being relies on it now.
Your Scorpio director will bring out a volcano of eruptions from within (helping you to understand the depths of you), especially in terms of emotions, but truly he/she just wants you to partner more in the dance and start taking more proactive lead roles, rather than being an extra on the sidelines.
Tendencies around addictive emotions may blare out, unhealthy attachments, insecurities, doubts, fears, and toxic ways of relating may, or will, all be surfacing at this time. You have the potential to experience some big emotional reactions or over-reacting, as well as feel like people are lashing out from out of no where. Buried feelings and undealt with “stuff” is rising from the depths and it’s all just to assist you in processing them so that they can be transmuted into productive creative energy, rather than these energy drainers working from behind the scenes, like an understudy who vies for your role.
Re-evaluate, relinquish, release, recycle, renew….
Time to let go of controlling every aspect of your life in tyrannical and anxiety-producing ways and ease into divine flow guided from your Higher Self/Source. The past is over and done, and so is the old you, if you choose to let it be so, that is.
So while intense emotions are being called out of you by your Scorpio director, facing the truths and awareness revealed from the core will provide as valuable tools to put you in the starring role of your life, as authentic and empowered you.
Look out for many powerful endings to exciting new beginnings, of which you may not see from the other side of the fence right now, but I assure you awaits once you take the leap of faith. It will open up new doorways and potentials you didn’t know existed, where you can be happier, freer, and more expansive than you thought you might be, getting what you “thought” you wanted.
I am seeing how people who have done the work are not experiencing these intensities in quite the same way. For them, while they may have some major shifts and shaking going on, it’s creating amazingly beautiful new opportunities and excitement because they are ready to say yes with every fiber of their being. No fight in them. Uh uh.
As with any Full Moon, we always have dual roles of polarity to work with, which means there is a second director running the show by the name of Taurus. And the gifts Taurus brings in partner with Scorpio are in helping us to balance self value with perceived value from others or projected onto things outside of ourselves. So we’re asked to focus on our spiritual vs. materialistic values, work with both the subconscious and conscious, moving in and out of “mine” and “yours” differentiating, and how to transform things into new forms…so breaking down and deconstructing old ones so we can rebuild from the core up and out.
We can’t neglect either energy, but we will be asked to both delve into the meaningful complexities of abstract things, while also finding peace and joy in the simplistic, tangible stuff. In reality, as we look at things deeper, we realize their fundamental simplicity and that by breaking things down, we can get to the really core things of value that are lasting.
So if you feel that things have been building, well, in fact they have. And if your volcano hasn’t erupted either in joyous celebration or intense challenge, you may find that this could come about, but your perspective and conscious choice will make the difference.
Making authentic, emotional declarations from your heart is important. And as you speak this truth you’ll soon come to see what that means for you and how life will evolve in support of it. We’ve been collecting things long enough. It’s time to share and be ready to responsibly accept your role you’ve been dreaming of having.
Our wonderful Scorpio director is bringing to “light” some new ways to express ourselves so that we may “illuminate” the stage of life we have so beautifully chosen to experience and share. Remember however, it isn’t a dress rehearsal, as this IS the show, so be mindful as to how you want to exercise your choices so that the performance given is consistent with the core of who you are soulfully, AND is in alignment with the values and spiritual beliefs that you have chosen as your experience in this life.
Things are in process of shifting and so the best you can do is to give your best in each moment. And even though things may not make sense yet and are still unfolding, from the old being repatterned as they are processing through you, just by being willing to show up on the stage of life with all of you, you will find yourself gifted in support from the Universe with a standing ovation for your courage and vulnerability to show up and “be” you.
As Astrologer Patricia Liles shares, “Practice letting your head bow to your heart and open to the lessons of loving what is.”
Tomorrow, 5/14, is also Wesak – a Holy day with inner significance – which in the East marks a celebration of Gautama Buddha’s birth, attainment of Buddhahood, and His departure from the outer physical body. It is a day of reunion, pilgrimage, and joyful expectancy, which is celebrated as a festival that focuses on good virtues of kindness and generosity to all living things. Sutras are chanted in unison by monks and there are candle light processions, as well as decorative celebrations of Buddhist monasteries with flowers, Buddhist flags, and lanterns.
If you’d like to join in the sacred honoring that reflects your own inner Buddha nature and consciousness journey, while actively supporting the intensities and shifts experienced, you may find Deva Premal and Miten’s FREE brand new 21-Day Meditation Journey to be of benefit. It’s a wonderful way to help create change on a DNA and soul level by intentfully chanting sacred and potent Mantras. This begins on tomorrow’s Full Moon in Scorpio of the 14th of May.
You can sign up for free here to join me and thousands of others across the globe in collective synergy:
Love, blessings, and graceful flow to you.