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Ask Astrid Fridays ~ The Rabbit’s Corner: Exploring Sacred Relationships


I noticed how Astrid has deliberately placed herself in positions lately for me to take note of, as seen above and in the below photo. In both cases, reflecting something about relationship and partnership, as she stood beside the enchanted stuffed rabbit, Jellybean, and underneath the giraffe temple. I felt her wanting to expound upon some of what I shared in Whimsical Wednesdays’ blog about the upcoming Full Super Moon in Libra. But it goes beyond just this Moon’s phase, and speaks to the heart of sacred relationship.


The way things are set up here on Earth, in a land of duality and human need for connection, many of us find ourselves in search or desire of that union within a relationship. It makes sense, as all relationships are a desire to know and love ourselves and so our relating with “other” is a perfect vehicle to reflect that, as well as learn to understand and accept all of the colored parts of who we are.

And let’s face it, a relationship just feels good, right? There’s nothing wrong with this desire to connect on this kind of level, as it is very nurturing and supportive to the journey. It also makes sense, since we are all connected, that we love others because we, in essence, are love.

This is a reminder that all relationships are sacred, since All That Is is love.

And so, too, do we learn about our relationship to things and beliefs from the examples, teaching, conditioning, and patterns that we’ve learned through our relationships on all levels.

(Side note: Astrid began preparing for this post with me under my desk laying by my feet and nudging me – a way she sends her energy and messages, as well as gives the “okay”. And while I wrote this last part she had quickly hopped upstairs and all I could hear above me is her racing around like crazy in the living room doing laps! She’s quite excited and moving the energy. She just returned for a refreshing drink of goji-infused water and is settling back with me now.)

Now that she’s back, let’s see if she wants to share something directly.

Astrid: “Every relationship is sacred and the way to experience how all is sacred, is without resistance. Resistance comes through separation, and while not all relationships feel ‘good’ there is an underlying magnetism to understand it more, which may result in repulsion. You needn’t agree or condone something, but sacredness is there. Even the way you relate to a pattern or experience you have that you’d rather not anymore, is sacred, for it inherently drives and inspires you deeper into the love that you are, with or without the pattern. When you separate things, an invisible gap is created that seems insurmountable. A dance does not have to be intimate to learn to move with the rhythm. You need only to be willing to hear the music and allow it to move through you.”

Me: “That makes sense to me, as everything has a frequency that can unlock something if allowed simply to flow.”

Astrid: “Yes, it’s like fine-tuning a piano or one of those old radios.”

Me: “I’ve noticed a lot of people experiencing big relationship changes lately. Ending a long-time relationship for a new one. Walking away from friends, family, and community in their lives as a new life calls. Taking stands on issues more directly in the world because things are hitting home. Opening more courageously to a new relationship with themselves and willing to dig into the shadows. Inviting new forms of relationships in that don’t have to look like the kind of union we think of traditionally. And deciding to have a more deliberate and conscious relationship with deep patterns that may not even be personal anymore, but dig into a collective part of the DNA that is ready to be unveiled, unleashed, and released. The latter has been true for me.”

Astrid: “Yes, and what is your take-away from this my friend?”

Me: “That we are ready to walk in greater alignment of the love that we are without apologizing for things that were never wrong to begin with.”

Astrid: “The resistance is lifting because courage of the heart is awakening. What lies within is the greatest sacred journey of all, as it leads to everything. Any desire pulling you, is love’s journey to unify the discovery of what is already sacred within.”

Me: “I think that it’s challenging for some to believe that some of the really icky feeling things, frustrating, darker, or harsher things can be part of that equation.”

Astrid: “Aw, yes. But again, one needn’t condone something to create a new relationship to it. One’s way of relating can be the bridge to sacred being.”

Me: “Once again, you’ve given us a lot to ponder. Thank you my wise, sweet friend.”

I wonder if any of you have been experiencing more recently around this relationship theme lately, in any aspect of relating in your life?

Do you find yourself exploring a different version of relationship to someone or something?

Does it bring up a lot of emotions when you dig deeper into what that means for you?

And how is that being reflected in changes you’re experiencing?

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****


the magick rabbit sale.jpg

As a sweet bunny reminder, the Spring Equinox and St. Patrick’s Day mini rabbit garden sale started yesterday and will go through end of March 20th. A creative way to put into action the alchemy of recreating, re-patterning, and rewriting your own life with the energies and intentions you desire as a new reality, while you share in the co-creating.

You’ll find some incredible, one-of-a-kind gardens sharing in the whimsy that include beautiful procured vintage pieces at amazing prices.

There’s also some mini worlds that include some of my favorite themes like Peter Rabbit and his triplet sisters Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail, Wonderland, Watership Down, Faerytales, portals and more.

You can tell I get excited. 🙂

At the link below, you’ll find an item category at left that makes browsing the sale items easy as well as the type of mini garden you’re interested in.

Wishing you a beautiful weekend, as you explore your relationships of life.

The Magick Rabbit

5 Steps To Attracting The One – Any Relationship You Desire Is Reflective Of The Relationship With Yourself

Another awesome video from Preston Smiles that will also hit home for many of you I feel.

I couldn’t NOT share this one, as this topic is so prevalent for everyone and comes up so much in my sessions with clients or conversations with friends where they are wanting support with relationships and being able to draw in that special someone.

Many go about things in backwards ways, don’t realize the undercurrents of their quest that are running the show, or don’t understand why they can’t be with someone they feel is the reflection of the “One” they would like to be with.

You must be your own “One” to be with another “One”.

Preston shares what being that means.

And, as he points out, it’s not just about romantic relationships, but you can utilize and tweak these steps to work for any relationship – business partners, friends, clients, etc. that you want to align yourself with.

And for some people, the “One” may mean different things…or you may have several of them throughout your life.

No matter how that is relative to you, make sure your “One” is foremost yourself.

The rest will fall into place after.

Although you may have heard these things, it takes several times to really get it sometimes. And then more time to actually put it into practice.

Remember practicing what you know is far more valuable than just saying you know it.

So here are some of those reminders again and Preston shares them so beautifully and makes it easy to understand.

Love That Transcends Time – 6 Years of Knowing You More Nestor

twin soulsI always honor this day with immense love, reverence, and gratitude for my amazingly beautiful and magickal twin soul, Nestor.

Six years ago, today, she transitioned from this Earthly plane and from my physical experience of her, but not without gifting me even in her passing.

She helped me to open and deepen my heart in ways that took me to the darkest and lightest of experiences and that is invaluable.

We continue to grow together and through our love I am not only knowing her more, but knowing myself more each day. And this results in greater understanding of All That Is that we are One with.

I know people wish to only feel the joy and the elevated bliss, but I assure you that is not what life is all about and it isn’t until you open to the depths of your soul, that you truly experience authenticity of love and harmony and come to truly know “you”.

Nestor is with me always, guiding, supporting, and loving me daily and our love resides not only within my heart, but within every star across the Universe, and every encounter and spark of life. It is limitless and eternal.

As I celebrate the vast love we share, I wish all of you the experience of knowing yourself through the limitlessness of your heart.

Flower of the Sea Faeries – Sea Anemone Wisdom For Entering New Doorways

sea-anemone6You might have noticed that I spend a lot of time by the ocean and walking along the beach just receiving its gifts and exploring the magick she has to offer. Why? Some of that has to do with it being native to the Pisces in me and the rest is because of its ability to rebalance, inspire, and renew.

I love feeling the sand between my toes and find the beach to be an Earthly mirror of the starry night skies, as each sand crystal glimmers in the reflection of the sun. So when I am walking upon these “Earth Stars” and feeling the watery liquid love of the ocean, from which all things in the Universe are comprised of, come from, and will return to, I am reminded of the miracle of life and what a gift every great and small thing is.

sea-anemone5I so enjoy exploring the tide pools when I visit the beach and am excited by all of the amazing little beings I find, never knowing what will reveal itself that day. They each always have a wonderful message to reveal as well.

I love photographing the beauty and mystery of nature and when at the beach there is always so much natural art to capture.

I’ve written a lot of posts that touch on the ocean and symbolism of the creatures I find there. I also use many of my beach-time photos as demonstrative of the inspiration I am writing about. I’ve shared on the beach22symbolism of some of the beings because their messages have been especially resonating and timing-aligned. Some of these include:

Starfish Symbolism – Exploring the Magick of These “Star People”

Sea Horse Wisdom in my post, Dance of the Twin Flames

Sea Cucumber Symbolism as part of Lunar Eclipse Full Moon in Aries Post

And today, after spending time on Saturday along the ocean’s edge, I continue to have our beautiful sea anemone friends on my mind and in my heart. So I thought I would share their wisdom and symbolism, as perhaps you may also find their messages to speak to you.


Dance of the Twin Flames by Tania Marie

Maybe they are an animal totem for you, they have appeared in dreams, or you have a special resonance with them. For whatever reason, I hope you will enjoy learning about these angelic, star-like flowers of the sea that captured my heart so much they were a main feature of the ethereal, underwater cosmos of my painting, Dance of the Twin Flames.

To me, sea anemones are enchanting in their array of beautiful colors that dance in the water like a garden of blossoms in the wind. Their tentacles resemble petals of a flower, which is why they are known as the “flower of the sea faeries”. I actually didn’t know this, although felt this in their energy every time I was pulled into a gaze of their magnificence. So it was a beautiful reminder of my faery friends always being near.

sea-anemone7And the Faery Realm they indeed provide a portal to. Sea anemones live in tidepools, which are areas that the water separates from the ocean and are doorways to the Faery Realm. They are messengers of new doorways of experience appearing and opening, but they caution you not to rush through them and to be very keen at feeling out for hidden dangers. In this way they teach you the power and strength of patience and cautious observation, before taking action.

sea-anemoneYou indeed have an opportunity, but not all opportunities are ones to take. So, it is in your best interest and the highest good, not to make rash assumptions upon first impression. Not everything is as it initially seems. This is a time for being extra observant to your feelings and to use your intuition to interpret the situation. Sea anemones also share the message of your need to be in your essence always and then letting people and opportunities come to you in reflection to that, rather than going after them. They herald new and unusual relationships entering your life, which includes beings from the Faery Realm. 😉

sea-anemone4Key words of wisdom conveyed from our friends the sea anemones include beauty, graceful movement, use of color, and patience. They teach you to embrace the natural rhythm of you in harmony with the flow of life and teach you how to also dance with that graceful balance between anxiousness and temperance. It is important to keep aware of the ebb and flow of experiences, especially communication and all forms of relationships.

sea anemoneAs a meat-eating creature, they also demonstrate the power to seize and obtain ideas, but this comes with great patience and trust in receiving what it needs to survive. Sea anemones are messengers of keeping your center and deepening your faith in Spirit’s timing. In this way you are using both mind and heart, as you keep aware and cautious with wise discernment, but also are dancing in partnership with your intuitive nudges and deep feelings.

sea-anemone-2When you do this, you are shown how to discover new doorways of opportunities that are in alignment with you and worthy of your taking active steps through.

When sea anemone reflects your taking notice of it, it is to your benefit to trust in the water of emotions and be still in the knowledge you possess. 

Thank you my beautiful sea anemone friends. Your messages are gently embraced with much gratitude.

How does sea anemone speak to you today in terms of what you are experiencing?

A Thousand Years & A Thousand More – One Step Closer to Eternal Love

I'll love you for a thousand moreWhile everyone is celebrating love today, I am beautifully reminded of my beloved, Nestor, who is never far from heart, mind, and experience. I celebrate unconditional love today, and eternally, through the soul who has most taught me its meaning and the miracle that it truly is.

Where there may have been fear – fear of the magnitude of responsibility – the love we share has always been the guiding force to see me through. I love you my precious twin star.

As you once shared just months before transitioning, “When I think of stars, I feel your presence. When I cuddle with you, I feel your love for me and so many others…When you first choose me, I knew we had found each other again! So incredible how we always do! Sometimes I incarnate just to have another chance to be with you…I know you feel like time goes too slowly and then too fast, but it moves of its own free will. We ride time like pilgrims in this universe, and I love time because it has allowed me so many experiences with you.”

(Tears of love as I wrote this and Joy came over to me, nibbled and pulled on my pant leg ❤ )

Every moment leads me closer to you Nestor and back to the source within me connected to All That Is through our love united.

…big breath…and exhale… ❤

This song always comes on when I am feeling and thinking of Nestor. It expresses this perfectly and has become one of our songs and ways to message each other. Perhaps it will hold meaning for you too.

Lyrics for “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri (synchronously, a young woman who shares my love for tattoos and has over 50 symbolic life tattoos herself):

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand moreTime stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What’s standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to thisOne step closerI have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more

Dance of the Twin Flames – Painting #8 Glides into Being

Dance of the Twin Flames by Tania Marie

I am excited to share painting #8 titled, “Dance of the Twin Flames.” I have a strong connection to sea horses and was so happy when they came through as the next animal spirits for this painting in the series, Universal ARKitecure. I was also ecstatic that they would be representing the Twin Flame energy and that made the essence of this one very special – the two sea horses being sacred keys.

Dance of the Twin Flames honors the beautiful sea horses (known as hummingbirds of the sea) in a magical and ethereal underwater cosmos of angelic and star-like sea anemones. The two sea horses symbolize the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine in harmony as they unite with their Twin Flame.

Sea horse wisdom shares the messages of  joy, understanding the importance of the courtship dance, stability in emotional waters, ceremony, bonding monogamously for life, great keepers of secrets, keen vision, psychic energy, analysis, strategy, independence, etiquette, sharing and mixing up of gender roles (as the male sea horse carries the young and births them), the water element, and connection with Poseidon.

Sea horses are graceful and almost mythological creatures that are one of those rare species that don’t seem to fit with any others in their category. They possess so many different qualities, similar to a platypus, and have been around since ancient times (40 million years ago). They can even change their color and pattern to match the environment they are in. And although they are known as “hummingbirds of the sea,” having dorsal fins that flutter as much as 35 times per second, they are built more for maneuverability than speed and actually don’t move around all that much. They prefer to wrap their tails around sea vegetation for stability. They are able to hover just as hummingbirds, however their dorsal fin flapping speed is amazing since it takes place under water.

Remarkable and ethereal, these sea horses were a joy to create and I hope you can feel their energy, and that of the painting, through the image. This is definitely one of my favorites. Channeling this painting seemed a perfect way to jump start my vacation on the island of Grenada, where I will be spending much time in the Caribbean Sea.

This painting, along with the other 7 in my series will be at the upcoming art exhibit mentioned below where all originals will be available for purchase. Prints of “Dance of the Twin Flames” will be available shortly. Prints and originals can also be purchased of any in the series at the link above.

I just finished this painting last night and realized what an amazing experience of creation it was. It was the first time in I can’t remember when, that I stayed up late painting through the evening and night only. This used to be my usual protocol, but had switched to day time hours the last couple of years. It also was the quickest creation that literally felt like it was created magically in my mind and then projected quickly through my hands. (I’ve been intending this for a long time!)

In general my painting process is super fast compared to the time it used to take me. Part of that had to do with the heavy subject matter, the healing work I was facilitating, journeys I literally took to travel to energy spots all over to support their creation, the size of the canvases, the minute details woven into each, and my personal process. However, this painting, which I’ve been saying I’d paint for like the last three weeks, didn’t happen until the very last minute when I had to get my series to the gallery before my vacation, for the upcoming art exhibit opening reception on the 10th, while I am away. It literally percolated in the background and I kept seeing it done and knowing it would get done somehow, some way, regardless of the small window of time I knew I would have. It was all about trust.

As always, when we go with the flow of our intuition, things naturally and supportively come together very easily. I never force-painted it during any other day of the last three weeks, always being guided to other work I needed to do instead.  This painting was completed in some of the hours of the remaining last couple of days before I head out. With some of the other paintings I have had to wait for timing and things to come together a certain way, in the midst of their process, which was this layering of painting or waiting that would take place. But this one was like poof! I discovered just how to create the vision in my head, instantly, and the timing I was told it would take, it did.

I also had received the title before the painting, which was another indicator that acceleration was in order, as usually the title comes after or in the midst of painting.

Things continually get more interesting! I look forward to #9 when I return.

Near or Far – You’re Always in My Heart

Staircase to the approaching full moon taken yesterday on my beach walk with Kate Magic at Crystal Cove

Answers received to some big questions recently, have had me connecting dots and understanding what I’ve been weaving since birth. It’s all revealing some adventurous new developments within my reach to joyously manifest in the coming months. This expanding core relationship within, is showing me the way it is translating outwardly, simply by allowing authenticity to live.

Look within your heart and ask…

It’s like reaching a fork in the road, but rather than only choosing from one of the path choices that lay ahead, I’m able to see and create a spiral staircase to the sky.

The new inspirations led me to ponder how it relates to who I am at heart and my soul mission, bringing me to reflect on the amazingly beautiful connections that fill my life with soulful friendships all around the globe. I find great peace, joy and comfort in the way this translates in my life.

I know many have found precious connections with people they either have never met in person, or perhaps have only met once, and yet maintain the most powerful bond that transcends all time and space.

It’s testament to our being a collective family and that there truly is no physical distance that can lessen the bonds we share. There is only eternal unity.

There are also those that despite all odds, find their way together in the physical as well. And that is a joyous celebration when we unite on all levels. Such was the case with my twin soul, Nestor, and our finding each other once again in this life.

However, the connections are experienced, the bottom line for me is they exist, they fill my heart, and having these depth-full experiences , alongside the connections with my celestial support system and my connection within, I never feel alone anymore.

Words can’t embrace the gratitude and magnitude of how I feel about the experiences of these friendships. I cherish the soul sisters and brothers I have had the opportunity to reconnect with and each day am awed by the synchronous way we all continue to connect more and more with our collective families.

Synchronously, as I’ve been pondering this and the ways it is getting woven into the fabric of new paths I’m being shown, my dear friend Kate Magic, whom you may have remembered from an interview she did with me last year about the significance of spiritual tattoos and my book, Spiritual Skin, arrived back in town just yesterday. My bestest faery sister, Laura Bruno, whom many of you also know and have heard about the many fun and pivotal, magical journeys she and I have shared, was the instrumental nudge in connecting Kate and I. (By the way, Laura, if you’re reading this, I’m looking forward to a faery gathering soon! <3)

Last year, Kate and I had the opportunity to meet in person for the first time when she was out on visit here from the UK. She and I have maintained a beautiful friendship over the year (which seems to have sped by in the blink of an eye) and when she returned this year, we were able to pick right back up, as she stayed here with us overnight, allowing some quality time over the last couple of days. I remember, once we connected, it was a “magical” 🙂 rekindled soul remembrance. For those who haven’t heard about Kate, she is one of the world’s best loved raw foods and superfoods experts and author, but most importantly, she is a beautiful, radiating light.

In our conversing, we could relate how each of us share the same kind of journey with our service and soul joy missions we are on and that this takes us on these beautiful journeys with others all over the world, whether literally or soul traveling in our hearts with those we love. What a blessing!

This is one example of all things coming together that support our finding meaningful relationships in our lives in the most seemingly arbitrary ways, but exactly when we need, and are ready, for them. (Sometimes you just need to take off your sunglasses in order to see the ever-present shining light.) It also, not only speaks to the boundless unity we share collectively, but also that there will always be more cycling into our lives at the most beautiful and pivotal moments.

I’ve been thinking about this and in my heart, honoring and cherishing the beautiful friends I have been so lucky to find and so lucky to have been found by, both near and far. No matter the distance, time not spent in physical communication or relating, or shifting energies that transform things while they reconfigure supportively, it’s always a seamless flow when things do allow for the reconvening of communion to take place. In the interim, its an unspoken bond that connects and is ever-present. Each soul comes in and out of our lives in divine timing and as we set them up previous to coming into this life. I look forward to the stars aligning and new intents to manifest that will bring not only more connections into light, but the in-person relating as well.

These kind of connections are the food to my soul and for me, is the unique way my soul experiences things. I know many share this kind of experience with others across the globe, where the connections are just so remarkable, it truly doesn’t matter where each of you are, as you’re always connected in your heart. The same happens with those you remarkably find living just down the street or under your nose in some way, and suddenly it sneaks up on you and pinches you, right when you asked for it.

We all have different needs and ways about us, but underlying it all, is a mutual heart connection we all value, however that translates. I’m grateful for the loving support shown and given to me by my precious friends, not only when the light is shining as others may want to experience it, but also in my times of challenge, through my quirks and oddities as an unusually unique being, and through the frequent shifts my journey takes me on. To my beloved soul family of friends, near and far, I love you. You’re always in my heart and carried with me everywhere I may be and go. I look forward to connecting with more of you in new ways soon.

I’d like to close with one of my all time favorites from Michael Jackson, “Will You Be There.”

In Loss There is Gain – Finding My Way After Losing My Twin Soul

Nestor and Tania

Today is a deeply sacred day to me, as it marks 4 years of my beloved Nestor being freed back to her cosmic expansiveness, as she transitioned out of the physical. I felt called to share my story of her passing, as it holds a lot of healing for me and perhaps may have something in it for someone else out there who has experienced traumatic feelings of loss, confusion, and depression. Some of my story may be a bit out there, but I will share nonetheless, as it is the truth of my heart.

Recently a friend had experienced a similar loss and in my sharing this story to help find meaning in their experience, I felt I was also being nudged to share it in a bigger way for others, as well as for Nestor and I. Interestingly, I was not conscious at the time of this taking place, just a couple of days ago, of how it was coinciding to today’s sacred symbolism. All things are divinely connected.

Nestor and I were connected beyond what people think of as human and animal companion. She is my twin soul. We had this inseparable connection that was magical, telepathic, powerful, and cosmic. She taught me the meaning of unconditional love and to do for love what I would neglect to do out of soul responsibility – so in essence, she always brought me back to my true essence self if I was led astray.

I could share many a story of our magical and beautiful relationship, but the part I wanted to express, for today, is how she transitioned.

Nestor had very expansive energy, much too big for her tiny rabbit body. She basically incarnated in order to be with me and to support me, and me her while she was here, but she wasn’t really in her body all that much, as she was constantly doing work elsewhere…if that makes sense.

I learned through her how to take care of rabbits properly, as she would often have health challenges because of blowing out her energy and my not knowing about rabbit challenges, at that time, that manifest physically was a handicap. So most of how we supported each other was energetically, as only specialized rabbit vets know and understand some of the intricate complexities and fragility of rabbits (and I did not find such a vet until her last vet visit). So the power of our connection and love, coupled with our both being energetic healers, was what got us through those five years together of physical challenges she had and emotional support I needed.

Nestor ended up having a lot of teeth problems that weren’t caught until much later. Long story short, but when she last took ill, I finally found a good vet and they did extensive dental work for her and treated her.

She returned home with me, but was not doing well. Her body was struggling between staying here on this earth or letting go to be in the expansiveness of the cosmic soul she loved to be. She stayed with me up until then, for and because of me and the love we shared, but ultimately she was not of this world and the time would come. This was her time.

I was fortunate to have help through an animal communicator during the last year or so of her life. She helped me through much with Nestor in understanding things that I couldn’t access at the time. Nestor and I had a telepathic connection, but there were times I needed to get clear and direct answers I couldn’t decipher.

Anyway, Nestor came home and was not well and needed to recover. I stayed up all night laying with her on the floor with my hands on her giving her Reiki, talking to her all night, and trying to pull her through. And she did make it to the next morning and through the day. What was odd is I found my “then” husband holding her, which she never let him do.  She had been laying very still most of the day and I had been worried about her even though she made it through the night. I didn’t foresee that she was saying her goodbyes.

The physical trigger was, the vet had given me antibiotics I had to administer by syringe in her mouth and this was a challenge. Nestor was a very free and independent soul. She roamed the house without cage and had a litter box. She did not like to be held and we had an understanding and knowingness. She was always with me though and followed where ever I went and would lay under my easel when I painted and would let me cuddle her on the floor and hold her front paws in my hands, but her back feet needed to remain grounded.

So to give her meds was a challenge. Anytime I had to take her somewhere it was a huge and stressful process and I’d have to chase her down and put a towel over her to get her, but she struggled and I hated that.

Anyway, I did this and gave her her meds, but it was so hard. And not much after, she began convulsing and looking like she was choking, but rabbits don’t throw up. It appeared she was gagging and trying to bring something up and then started running around like crazy and upstairs and choking and gasping for air…I will bare any further details, but needless to say I was at a loss and couldn’t help her. I was calling on the phone but it was late and places were closed and we lived at the lake in Tahoe and nothing was near and I was frantic and then called my parents crying and going crazy. This was going on for what seemed a long period of her in this condition. And suddenly she screamed a horrible sound, which I had never heard. It is a profound cry that pierces the soul. I had read that rabbits never make noise unless in excruciating pain or passing on. She then fell over and I knew she was gone. My then husband tried giving her mouth to mouth, but it was over.

I went insane and I cried  like I’ve never in my life and likely never will again. No death had ever affected me, as I always knew it as a cycle of life and I understood. But this was different. She was my other half and the pain was unbearable.

I later learned that the ominous haunting way I cried, which was like a mourning melody is called “keening” to the celtic wherein the cry sounds have music in them. And it was no wonder, as I have celtic soul pasts that were very profound (ones I’ve done healing integration with in this life) and in which Nestor was connected.

Needless to say, I couldn’t let her go and I felt guilty she had passed at my hand by administering her the meds that she choked on (which is what they discovered with autopsy, that the meds went down the wrong pipe because of her anxiety and stress.) Of course, that is how I saw it then in my grief. And now, I see it from another perspective, although the emotion of that traumatic sound/picture is imprinted within me.

Loss is always challenging when someone is in your heart so deeply. Yet, in time, we can grow from the experiences and create new processes of how to move with greater ease and grace through life by embracing our new perspectives.

Taking gentle nurturing time to honor the natural mourning and healing is important. The last memory may never leave altogether, but the way in which we view/feel it CAN over time. I know for me that it is still there if I think of it, but when I do, the duration of time I feel the emotion is short and I can move through it by embracing that it is normal to feel emotions and allowing them to freely move in and out doesn’t extend, hault or expound their effects.

I was depressed for a long time after her transition, and to this day, even now I cry because it is the most traumatic experience of my life.

However, it is also the most beautiful gift she continued and continues to give me. I likely will never “not” feel that emotion when I think of her, but I came to understand, with new perspective, the realization of the beauty and magic of it all. Even though my human heart will always love her beyond words and be moved by any thoughts of her. The expansive, universal soul heart of me however, does realize the bigger picture and she and I communicate and continue to enjoy a relationship on a whole other level, as we will for eternity.

There usually is a physical trigger in order for a soul to pass at the given time that they have chosen. Given our connection and what I had to learn and how I could assist Nestor, it had to be this way. It was what, on another level, we had chosen, even if my human self could not remember that. The core thing is, the soul knows when it is ready and wants to go and it was her time.

For herself, she needed to and for me, the only way I would move into the life I needed to, was for her not to physically be there. For as long as she was, she was my world. I did end up moving out and divorcing thereafter, which was something that I’d known could be coming and had been working very hard to not have that happen, to no avail. And once Nestor’s loving numbness of her presence left, I was left with the reality I knew I could not live with. I knew what a relationship was and it wasn’t what I had. I knew the life path I had and I wasn’t on it. So I had the strength to leave and to commit to my path ever more so and my work is infused with our Unity of Love.

Now there were two reasons for the passion of my devoted life commitments…One, for myself, as it is the life I came here to live from the authenticity of my heart. And two, out of the reminder of my other half’s (Nestor) ever-loving nudge that always keeps me on point due to the love we share and our oneness of being. She will never let me forget and I love her dearly for that. A true twin soul she is.

The scream Nestor let out as she left her body was both physical pain, as there is a transition the physical body goes through while still Earth-conscious to shift back into Universal consciousness, as well as was a huge scream of sheer joy in that release into her expansive soul form. She was both ecstatic and sad, painless and pain filled – all at once. That is Oneness – the state of All That Is simultaneously in integrative wholeness. It is the experience of duality within their union, simultaneously.

It was important that it happened with me, as she is my other half and for me to assist her desires and not be selfish as to my human needs, was important to realize, so I could move into that Universal consciousness of the collective soul that lies within. She had endlessly supported me and many others to the detriment of her physical body while she was alive, and now I had the chance to give her the greatest gift besides my love.

It was also important for my life path and the work/service I do, that I experience the extremity of pain like this, so that it would help me to get to deeper levels of unconditional compassion and love and it would help me to infuse that depth of feelings into my work/art. I was one who came into this life to experience the fullness of it and that, for me, is to know all levels of feeling so that I could also then learn how to integrate them and move beyond them, while not being attached and realizing the divine perfection within it all. In so doing, I can support others in doing the same.

There is more I could share, but I’d be here for forever and I just wanted to give you a glimpse of my experience, which while traumatic and threw me into depression, also held the most beauty, magic and growth at the same time. I understood that I needed to forgive myself, as she held no ill will towards me, as there was a divine synergy unfolding. I had to come to rejoice in knowing Nestor got her wish and she is now free to do the service she couldn’t fully do in body form, that she loves doing in her expansiveness.

To know one side of the coin of experience, is to create and know the other side, as they both are part of the oneness of life existing hand in hand. We live in a world of duality as humans in physical form, but the essence of Universal consciousness is an integration that combines  the two into something that is both and neither, all at once. It’s not a simple concept to our minds to grasp, but there is divinity within all that we experience.

Nestor is still with me in powerful ways. We still share our love and companionship through continued communication of another kind. She may not be in physical form for me to snuggle with, touch or physically see, but I am now able to experience her in a bigger way. It’s just not the way she “used” to be. But she is more beautiful than ever. And she did bring me the gift of Joy, my new bunny love, whom she channels through. Joy is my beautiful, sweet bunny who is much more connected to the earth than Nestor was, but has access to the otherworlds as a messenger. It is a beautiful soul-ship we all three share. And of course there is Gaia, my beloved and powerful tortoise who also is deeply connected with us all. (Both Joy and Gaia have come into my room, as I write this)

I know that words don’t help when feeling pain, so I share my experience with vulnerability so that it may provide any form of support or message to whom ever may read and need what it expresses. It is best to take your time in healing through any major experience in life and to honor the mourning that is natural. Perhaps you might ask for messages from your beloved, in forms of signs or dreams that you can interpret, so that you may receive the healing you need.

I’ve come to see that many times physical loss, such as soul transitions, takes place at pivotal shifts and deeply transformative times in our lives. There is a web of life and magically supportive gifts within each experience for our perspectives to embrace. And within shifting perspectives, the opportunity for powerful soul growth.

I felt it was important to express this, if even just for myself, as each time I reflect, it brings greater depth to the healing integration.

Thank you for allowing me to share my most vulnerable heart experience.

Thank you Nestor for your endless, unconditional love. I love you eternally, my twin soul.

Communion of Heart and Soul – Custom Partnering Crystal Pendants

Communion of Heart - Kunzite and Amazonite in fine silver

Allison and I love to create special pieces for our Joyful Earth Crystals clients and as shared, we’ve been enjoying the new custom commissions that have been beautifully unique and varied. These are our latest creations (pictured throughout the post) that symbolize a special union of two souls that we are really in love with.

We were commissioned to create a pair of partnering pendants for two kindred twin souls (both water signs) that share a connection of eternal and unconditional love. The pieces we created were to be connected in some way to mirror this union, while simultaneously reflective of the individual it was going to. We instantly knew which pieces were meant for them.

Communion of Soul - Aquamarine and Amazonite in fine silver

The first you see pictured is named Communion of Heart and combines a luminous Kunzite atop a beautiful Amazonite.

The second you see pictured is named Communion of Soul and combines a lovely raw Aquamarine and a partnering Amazonite.

Each wrapped in fine, pure silver with a pure sterling silver, 18” adjustable chain with lobster clasp.

The timing of this creation was so synchronous and also fell during Allison’s first trip to Sedona this past weekend, along with my telepathically receiving those Sedonian energies through her. So this pair of connected pieces are really infused with beautiful and potent energy. They have been sent off to their new keepers and scheduled to arrive on Friday’s Full Moon! We were so excited upon showing our client the images before sending, to hear them share that they could already feel the energies of these pieces and were extremely happy.

Communion of Heart and Soul

I love the pairing of stones to compliment and blend energies of each. Some stones prefer to be on their own and others are beautiful matches of soul unions, much like we are as humans. More unique combinations will be available. Allison has really done a lovely job in uniting the crystals in gorgeous, finely secure design, which is so important especially when working with more than one stone. She’s amazing!

To commission a custom piece for yourself or a loved one you may contact us at or Or visit our Etsy shop for current available crystalline friends here:

You can read testimonials of some of our current clients here:




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