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A New Chapter Begins
Have you been feeling the pull to take your life to a new level of experience? I know I’m not the only one embarking on a new chapter in life right now and I know that for some this can be both a scary and exciting thing, as well as potentially intense. Change is not always easy, but can become a more fluid experience when you play in the fields of potential with curious wonder, rather than fight it. After all, these shifts are soul nudges that have answered your desires or evolutionary needs, both consciously and subconsciously. Sometimes what shows up might not seem aligned with that and yet even when those things seem separate and not connected, there’s something at the heart of it all in essence that may be a hidden gift, reminder, empowering opportunity, or core way to integrate the new path.
I’ve traveled extensively in the outer world to what are considered sacred and exotic spots, but it’s the journeys within and even the traveling between spaces and through all the energetic and emotional nooks and crannies that things like physical travel took me to, that have made all the difference. And while much of that travel has been on more etheric planes, even such things as the sacred tattoos I wear, have been ways to come into my body and harness spirituality more tangibly for this Earth plane I currently reside in.
I feel like we’re being guided through new doorways of experiences, relative to each, but that are operating on a whole new plane of existence – in essence helping to create whole new realities.
Starting all over can feel like so many things, including some unpleasant or uncomfortable variations, but mostly I see it is an opportunity, a potential to rise to the “now” occasion, a possibility for recreating from new choices – a rebirth – and a means to shape in that “now” what the “future-you” already is walking, without past restraints.
Sometimes you might have that tug of war within yourself, as you wrestle with old and new, or sometimes it’s as easy as slipping on a new pair of shoes that feel oh-so-much-more comfortable, spacious, shiny fun, and upgraded.
This last Saturday, 8/18/18 – a very cool number sequence to end on – marked the conclusion to my teaching Reiki, which has been an 11 year cycle. Synchronously, one of my students (who also captured this sneak photo of me teaching) was someone I taught Reiki 1 & 2 to, 10 years ago when she was 19. She now returned, at a completely new place in life to complete her 3rd Master Teacher level and boy has her life positively changed on every level. AND, she’s already put out there to her clientele, that she is available for teaching.
Talk about fast upgrades and changes, but it came with a lot of work over these past 10 years and willingness to keep saying, “yes” to what her soul was putting forth for her, even though her ego wasn’t understanding why and wasn’t fully on board with yet.
In some ways I’m in a similar place where my soul has put forth this inspiration and guidance, after culminating to an ending vortex of choice, and it wasn’t something I saw coming even though I toyed with things twenty five years ago.
That ending left me both fulfilled and feeling uninspired, completely soul spent, and nostalgic for a different place I call home.
In many ways, the “past me” might have seen the work I’ve been doing until recently as being my end result, and in a way it was – as it truly was more of a predictable soul path I was completing from lifetimes of build-up. Many of you likely can relate. And although not necessarily an easy path I was on, it was easier to melt into and only challenging in terms of moving into more vulnerability, clarity, and opening that throat chakra that yearned to teach, yet had the fear to transmute.
When everything pointed to endings 3 years ago, I was left with a choice and so I followed a nudge, went off into Nature (just as John Muir says, “The mountains are calling and I must go”), listened deeply, and found myself here when I might have been elsewhere.
This then put into motion a potential new cycle and so I began playing in this new field of experience and trying on how it felt. I decided to go with it, feeling a new level of inspiration was the very and only thing that would keep me here and that offered a completely new and freer embodiment, if so chosen.
Little by little, and quickly in some cases, I shed my skin and this led to now and a fresh start. During that time, a story began channeling through and I wrote when the moment moved me, while building a new life.
Perhaps the story reflects a journey intimately remembered or maybe it energetically rewrote what has been to what can be.
In any case and for what ever reason yet unknown, it is the only thing calling my heart besides seeing what is possible from living at a different and more balanced vibration.
This past Thursday, 8/16 – a day earlier than expected – I received my manuscript back from my editor (more on that shortly) and this coincided with Astrid’s early birthday gift arriving (her birthday isn’t until 9/15), which I’d ordered custom a couple of months ago, but was on back-order. No coincidence we both received something new and connected on the same day.
Astrid’s gift was this special child’s chair stitched with her name and a star on it, chosen to match my green chair and the green theme in our shared room.
I have both a green chair – my desk one – and a comfy arm chair by my book shelf, which Astrid loves to climb up and sit on. I thought she might enjoy her own arm chair so that she and I could both sit and mastermind together. Besides, every queen needs their special throne and now she has one that declares her star child essence as cosmic spirit in bunny body.
It took until yesterday to finally figure out where she wanted it, but the second I put it together and set it up for trial runs, she was exploring and jumped right in it quite comfortably.
But as the days went on, she was missing her bed and carrot cottage under the stars looking out on the forest by the door, so I moved it to a new location and put her other things back and she instantly said, “yes, that’s it!”
She climbed right in and sat there for long periods not moving at all, but just sitting up tall in it and looking at me from across the room, very regal and wise.
Then she started grooming herself and making it home. Good thing is, it’s super light and therefore totally mobile with a handle on top, so we can move it whenever she feels she wants a new vantage point.
She now goes to sit on it when I sit in my comfy chair and we gaze across at each other, feeling the immensity of our combined energies in this space.
It’s a bit like this new path for me, where I know it’s what my creative spirit is guiding, but will take some adjustments (likely a lot more work than Astrid’s few days of helping me to figure out where it belonged) in order to fit as comfortably in my own new “chair” as she does, but I’m following her example.
That brings me back to receiving my manuscript from the perfect editor I was guided to. I couldn’t be happier and more grateful for the opportunity to work with her and her feedback was just what I had hoped it would be to both support and kick me into deeper explorations with highlighted strengths and weaknesses. I feel as if I’m getting a whole new education and training in a way that works in better alignment for me than studying at a university, for example. She’s definitely my vibrational fit.
Since I had a workshop to teach last Saturday, I put aside editing and novel thoughts except for the summary letter, because I knew that once I dove in, it would be all-consuming. And quite literally, even though I still have yet to go through everything, as I’m creating the space for full digestion of it and all that I feel it will ask of me, it HAS become all-consuming on my mind. I find my thoughts are always going there and so I know where I’m meant to be.
Yet, just from her letter, I can sense the enormity of this commitment and choice I’ve made with it and why nothing else can be on my plate going forward. I was curious how I would feel from receiving the feedback and the only thing it brought up for me was this incredible sense of soul challenge to grow and deepen, which inspires me. I can also feel the reality of the creative limb I’ve flown out on with this, which presents further challenges to rise to, including even the genre choice I decide upon with it.
I definitely have my work cut out for me. I never do things simply, and it makes complete sense that for something to truly engage my heart and spirit to feel inspired to continue on here – regardless of any outcome with it what so ever – it WOULD have to be the biggest challenge yet.
Any fellow writers (or creatives), will understand the journey and it is one that can sometimes take years, of which I’m fully on board and committed to. So I truly don’t know the extent of time this project will take and I’m not rushing it so that I can immerse fully in the growth and learning, feeling that this is about much more than a book – it’s a whole new adventure and journey of mind, body, heart, and spirit.
And it IS a whole new playing field, as I’ve mostly only been a blogger and put out one self-published book – Spiritual Skin, along with a lot of creative writing when I was much younger. This one has the potential for traditional publishing depending on how vulnerably and flexibly I stretch myself and even how I surrender completely to living my dharma and embracing the new lessons this path is creating for me.
In any event, the old cliche is true…”it’s the journey, not the destination” that matters and I can really feel that in traveling this unknown territory simply for sake of bringing through vibrational potential that arises from the challenge and exhilaration of experiencing how far and wide I can fly on the wings of my creative free spirit.
It will definitely involve a constant cycling through of deaths and rebirths, as makes sense with next year’s growth year #13 – death / 4 year I’ll be entering come my birthday. The 4 energy will have me focusing on foundations, sharpening skills, working hard, involved in patient, methodical approaches to goals, nurturing of projects, and overall serious approaches to career, well being/health, and relationships of all kinds for balance. All of which I’ve been preparing for with deep cleaning on all levels and flowing with the creativity that was inspiring me this last 12/3 year I’m still completing.
I didn’t need to know this information on numerology, but it is definitely interesting to see how we do in fact follow the energy imprints regardless of not being aware of them playing out.
I always start experiencing trickles of the upcoming energies before they set in fully and I can see how come this Fall, pretty much exactly after Fall Equinox, I’ll be on a different trajectory.
This also falls perfectly with my sweet and dear Laura coming to spend a fun and potent week here at the same time we co-teach and host our “Living a More Magickal Life” workshop event on the Equinox – the official ending for me to this kind of teaching platform in general. It’s not often that we get in-person time together, but when we do it has always put into motion some huge life shifts for both of us and this coming together in a month from now feels like the most potent alchemy potential we’ve created yet.
So, between now and then I am readying everything, we have some other friends visiting, I’m getting fully organized and cleaned out, creating a workable plan to put into action, reviewing my editor’s feedback, tuning in, and beginning research – that way I’m fully ready to go, come end of September, and dive fully into things.
I see Fall and Winter perfectly fitting for nose-to-the-grind action, but in my newly adapted balanced way so as not to repeat my past neurotic tendencies to overwork myself until I “crash-and-burn.” This is why Dave and I have and will continue implementing a new well-being track into our life, while we also focus on other life goals we’re creating foundations for. It will definitely be a busy 6-8 months to get things ready for the next leg of the journey.
This is why I’ve released everything else, as a way of having laser beam focus on the new and yet without any old patterns being brought into that space and reality that is forming.
There is an invitation being extended to us all I feel where a portal of fresh possibilities await.
Have you also increasingly felt drawn away from things and toward completely new ones?
Where might you create more balance in your life so that you can be more present and vibrant to what is calling your heart’s attention?
Sometimes what we think we should be doing is only a choice away from what we could be doing.
If something nudges you there is reason. Whether it directs you into a whole new life journey or supports your journey with new, you will experience invigoration from listening to that subtle voice rather than dismissing it/you.
Thank you for being part of and supporting my journey. I not only support yours equally, but do my best to keep embracing each challenge on my own, as my contribution to the collective.
Updates: Expanding Options, Synchronous Alignments & Inner Ear Resonance
The last time I blogged was nine days ago on Mother’s Day, but feels like lifetimes. Have you also experienced increasingly fuller days? I feel a lot of work is being done 24 hours a day in the seen and unseen realms, with increased dream travels, work, and remote visits, while in the day an upsurge of incredible alignments, connections, synchronicity, and instant manifestation are taking place alongside the day-to-day intentional work. All the while, veils are parting and portals opening, which the Forest Portal here is revealing more and more, and multiple timelines are becoming available to choose between or expand into simultaneously.
Three years ago I made a big life choice that started setting a new spiral in motion with the theme of merging my Earthly and Cosmic selves in a new way. And while choices are presented every day, I continue not to find any wrong choices, but merely choice that if committed to with full intention and heart, will be successful and fulfilling.
Some of this involves exploring and straddling several timelines in order to feel them out before decisions are made, as these days we don’t just jump in anymore without doing full energetic scans and walking in the potentials a bit. This is being in our multi-dimensionality.
You can see in these photos, a portal of multi-dimensional access revealing itself here.
The first photo taken from our back deck captures it to the right of the left tree trunk in the foreground and right of that you can see almost a straight line of glowing light that is actually the lake peeking through the trees and not the sunset. Although, it is in fact the sun’s rays hitting just right on the water. In person the lake and sun were golden, the mountains on the other side of the lake were darker and contrasting, making it very easy to discern. Here you get a sense that something is opening at that horizon level of the lake.
That photo was captured seven days ago and these, below, were captured two days ago of the sun halo above our Forest Portal, mirroring the portal in the forest itself….as above, so below? They both look like eyes or a nucleus of sorts.
In between these days some special and big markers for me have occurred, including Thursday 5/17’s being a shared birthday for three people in my life – my precious Cosmo (who would have been 12 in Earth years), my sweet Australian cousin Nella who turned 71 (you may recall her from my posts last year when I met her and my family in Australia for the first time where we also celebrated my Great Great Uncle’s 102nd birthday and her 70th – synchronously and exactly one year ago), and a dear friend Hillary who turned 35 (you may recall her from our Reiki and Horse Retreat we shared together three years ago) – a pivotal time right before huge shifts took place for me and my path and when the Faeries had reminded me that I can now be the “not of this world” me fully.
Yesterday was the twelve year anniversary of my French Grandmother’s passing (on my mom’s side), which signifies a matriarchal shift of energy and transformational shift of the Divine Feminine in our line of family. So a lot of pivotal energies for me framing this last week or so, coinciding with the Taurus New Moon that really showed in growth potential, as well as asked all of us to Earth ourselves some more in a new way.
The 17th also presented an instant manifestation Dave and I had just put out there involving our shared business, which involved deep explorations into where I wanted to go with things and exploring the infinite possibilities. We’ve had similar choices in the past that took some time to fully feel into, but in the end we have been very pleased with our decisions. So, this was another not to rush into and good we didn’t, as it has given us opportunity to review many possibilities and be open to even more.
So, besides my day-to-day things and working on my book when I can, I’ve mostly been focused on choices that have presented themselves in my life, dancing with the potentials, and exploring the different timelines available. The fun thing to discover is how much more mutable I have become, even beyond my native Pisces chameleon energy I’ve been known for. It is interesting to see how I entertain things I wouldn’t have thought of doing so in the past, as I truly open to my evolution with new perspectives and with the knowing that things don’t define me, but provide me opportunity to do or have more than one thing I may desire in unlimited ways.
I feel we are all straddling these interesting new potentials and that collectively this is an integral time of merging – that balance always ringing is as key.
In between all of this I’ve been remaining very balanced (unlike my past self) and grounding and Earthing quite a bit, as my garden became a focus amidst this pivotal decision time over the last week.
I’ve added a few new plants to my very lush Garden Tower, re-engineered the netting so that I no longer need the rabbit pen around it by using left over pavers we had (exactly the amount that created a circle around it) to replace the stones I found in the forest. The stones then were the exact amount I needed to finish the stone perimeter in the front yard and back yard that had been missing small segments from the previous owner – love how that all works out.
I’ve enjoyed watching all of my plants flourish, finding new discoveries continuing to grow, and planting Faery flowers and Manzanita in barrel pots we got to sit atop tree stump pedestals that had been cut down years ago.
I so adore these and feel that they’ve added just that little bit of Faery magick to everything and are gorgeous bloom sentinels lining the pathway and keeping watch over all of the creatures great and small here at the front and the back of the house. I LOVE being able to see two of them with Astrid from our Wonderland room. 
That includes my bunny friends who also revealed themselves again. The mother and little baby both showed up on Cosmo’s birthday. Both connecting with Astrid and me for quite a while. In fact, the little one was not afraid at all and allowed me to open the sliding door, step outside and near him and then proceeded to listen to me talk to him for about 5 minutes before I decided to go back inside.
He seemed to have waited for me to do so. And then two days ago, on the day of the sun halo portal showing up, he returned again, and again allowing me to come outside and talk to him. A very special relationship is developing with the bunnies here and he feels connected to Cosmo. The mother is a lot more like Nestor and Astrid though.
But back to our land here – we don’t plan to do anything elaborate at this time, as we like to keep things more natural looking and with little upkeep, so these potted beauties do the trick. We liked them so much we have three more on the way for the back deck for Manzanita likely – native around here and merges well with all of the ones we already have on our property and in the forest.
At some point our labyrinth idea we have had for years may manifest, but like all things, it’s all about timing.
For now, house projects have dwindled down to only organizing half our garage left to do over the next couple of weeks with shelving on the way. And we’ll likely pressure wash and stain the house this summer to prep it for winter. That’s part of the day-to-day on top of the rental property business Dave and I run together that’s a side balance to my life.
So, while it may seem I’m not doing or putting out much these days, after having pulled away from and retired from some of my life’s work, I do in fact have a full life of different things going on while I am recreating and reimagining myself. This also creates a need to stay focused and make time for my book, as it is one of the other timelines I have merging that feels key.
Life is full and very Earthy on the one hand, which is perfect to keep my Cosmic self in check, merged, and harnessing alchemy, which requires both. It also allows for magick to be brought through into this realm, rather than keeping things and parts of ourselves separate. This also aids peaceful experiences to be the norm, rather than fighting with parts of ourselves like much of the world at large seems so good at.
Things that used to put my emotions and nervous system into a spin in my past, don’t get to me anymore because of this balance I’ve learned and because of no longer having undercurrents of feelings, sensitivities, and no boundaries controlling me. I now orchestrate my life and responses. A welcomed shift. 🙂
I’m still in process of exploring some timelines I may want to pursue, but have also put the keys in drawers on a few, for now, that I may want to revisit another time, as I follow my current heart stream. Astrid has been instrumental with that and I’ll share more about her shortly.
Processes always reveal things naturally, but there are also times we can cut to the chase and not even go down that path. As mentioned, there’s never a wrong, as everything will provide growth potential and some nice gifts to embrace, but if you aren’t capable of hearing your intuitive voice, or have someone to help guide you with that to know the timing on things and when to leave or start something, then perhaps your first instinct of the end result is the telling one that will help you not go down a path that might be more challenging for you to get out of than it might be for someone else in different circumstances.
Many times, my Pisces gift is a knowing of end results based on current momentum and while there may be much to gain along the way, not everyone has the capability based on their current patterns, to embrace all of it right now. While ultimately it doesn’t matter, since we each have our own paths, there’s something to be said for choosing wisely based on you now, and not you later. Just as you don’t try to change someone else. You either except them as they are now, or not, and have no attachment to if they will change at some point.
It’s the same with ourselves. We embrace who we are now and while we could change, there’s no attachment to if we will, and so we make decisions with as much as we know now and our patterns, without huge expectations placed on us to make these profound shifts. If we do, great, but we may not. Let it unfold naturally, as you’ll always get where ever you’re meant to go. So, if the sense is something isn’t going to end well, in the case of perhaps you’re not being able to make changes or understand your intuitive nudges, you may want to go with the decision not to do something and let the cards fall as they may. Unless, of course, you are an adventurer and enjoy the challenge of the moment to see if you can rise to the occasion.
I’ve seen this work itself out many times when people ask me for advice or have worked with me and they have chosen the path most aligned with their current momentum or that will bring about the results the way their souls know best, rather than entertain something else. And, there’s nothing wrong with that because there is no one way. In part this may be some of why I no longer resonate with teaching in the vein I have, as organic processes step more into Nature’s cycles. I love creativity as a form of natural activation of what’s already innately within.
That brings me to alignments – another natural cohesion that can take place – which I mentioned earlier because I’ve been experiencing an astounding amount of connections taking place that are true magick. This reflecting in many ways as new connections (in this life) with souls that have immediate depth, purpose, synchronicity beyond explanation, and producing creative results that are very mutually supportive. All of the details on these are too much to write, but I do want to extend gratitude for the blessings their are ringing in. The two most recent ones revolving around some rabbit creations that are very meaningful and timely for me – divinely inspired for sure.
This spirals us to the last update and most dear to me – Astrid.
That’s where the “inner ear resonance” part to the title of this post comes in. During this full week was also when Astrid started displaying some behaviors I took note of right away. Rabbits ask of us to be on our intuitive tip-toes all the time and ultra present. I noticed she was starting to shake her head and ears more excessively than normal. One might think it cute, but I had a sense there was something up. I kept watch for about 2-3 days noticing it was continuing and not simply just a fleeting irritation.
I then called to make an appointment Friday morning and the first available was yesterday. Interestingly, Astrid stopped the shaking head/ears behavior over the weekend, but I went with my instincts and took her anyway. We discovered that the left ear that had a bit more wax than normal in it last check up, had now created a plug, and the right ear that had no wax, now had some. Also, the inner canal was a bit red. The vet said that her hair follicles in her ear are for some reason not dispelling the wax as they normally do.
I definitely did the right thing in listening to my instincts, as an infection is starting and by being proactive, we can stop it from becoming something really serious. Ear infections for rabbits are not little things. Their ears are so sensitive, but infections can be horrible if not caught and treated in time, including could turn into head-tilt. But we won’t go there, as we’re on top of things and will continue with the current protocol – not fun to administer in her ears – and recheck in about 10 days.
Ears seem symbolically and literally significant right now – I have sensed my own shifting along with my eye sight. Ear canals are likened to birth canals and reflect the spiral and womb. In Egypt, ears aid the gods in hearing prayers so would be like hearing whispers from our higher self or the otherworldly parts of us. Ears provide the ability to be open to hearing new info and perspectives and knowing when to act upon what we receive. They are portals and antennae to receive thoughts, feelings, vibrations, and sound frequencies physically and telepathically. A channel to hear and know the truth within and without and as a result of that deeper inward hearing we can experience greater resonance and alignment on deeper levels of experience.
It’s interesting that I’ve seen Astrid communicating telepathically with so many of the creatures here in heightened collective activity – a variety of birds, squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, and even spiders (too many photos capturing these moments to share). They all come outside her door. Even during this last week she started having symptoms, her telepathy has been on all-time high, demonstrating the inner ear, eye, mind, heart are the powers behind everything.
She’s going through her own shifts right now, mirroring my own, and during this week of choices, I can clearly see what Astrid wanted me to know – the answer that reflects my heart is the one to listen to and she’s ready to continue when I am from a deeper level of understanding. I love her so much and love how my rabbit companions have always and only been the ones to ever know how to guide me most effectively. Right now I plan to continue with our work together and help her to get back to her vibrant self with incredible cosmic ears. This is her this morning healing with Buddha.
As for us, we’re looking forward to summer and all the outdoor activities and events upcoming – lots of Tahoe Herbivores’ Meetups to come including our annual Music on the Beach events that are a huge hit, an upcoming Full Moon drumming circle, and hikes and fun! If you live in the area or are passing through during that time, check us out on Meetup.
I have two Reiki workshops this summer, (still some spaces to join both of these) and one co-taught magickal workshop in Fall with Laura (already 1/3 full) – the last of my teaching, as that journey comes full circle. You can register at the links provided.
Dave and I have a 10 day August trip – the only travel right now we have planned in California for two wedding events, family and friend time, and time in Yosemite – a first for me. We lucked out on all of it in getting something last minute that we wanted and being gifted an awesome accommodation too. Dave was invited to speak in Hawaii next year for his book, but we felt into that as not being aligned.
End of Summer visitors are starting as we have Labor Day weekend booked here with friends and then of course Laura coming out. I sense we may get a couple more visitors too, so that will be fun. I’m so looking forward to beach time and kayaking, as well as incredible hikes, but mostly right now I’m looking forward to my book’s completion.
That’s what’s been evolving here and what’s upcoming – in current sight at least. This is a little longer post to touch in and provide some updates as energetic gauges with all of you in your own worlds, as I haven’t posted for a while and don’t post regularly right now. I find that we always go through similar in our own relative ways, and sharing definitely chimes in those synchronous alignments.
Since I’ve been quiet, I figured I would do a little summary of main themes in my life – a way of also letting you know I’m still here working away on things to bring forth and share.
Seasons are shifting quickly, time is moving rapidly, veils are no longer boundaries, daylight is lingering longer, and expansion is happening in ways you aren’t even recognizing.
Tania Marie 