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The Child In Me Lives On and Lives Strong
“I am often accused of being childish. I prefer to interpret that as child-like. I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things. I tend to exaggerate and fantasize and embellish. I still listen to instinctual urges. I play with leaves. I skip down the street and run against the wind. I never water my garden without soaking myself. It has been after such times of joy that I have achieved my greatest creativity and produced my best work.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia
Yes, I’m a nearly 42-year-old, constant child of 3, simultaneously living in the timeless infinite. The magick has never been lost in my life, I find wonder in every experience, and I continue to believe.
You can imagine how excited I was when I found my most beloved friends in a box in the garage just this past Friday, pictured above. I had E.T. the longest, and Eeyore came into my life later.
They are the only stuffed animals I kept of nearly a hundred that I had. I used to play make-believe by myself with all of my friends seen and unseen, creating experiences for us all to explore, singing songs, and talking away.
I never needed a play mate, as I was quite content in my own little world. My brother used to try and come in and interrupt things, but my parents would tell him to leave me alone, as I would get quite disturbed at the interruption. LOL
“Whoever wants to understand much must play much.” ~Gottfried Benn
My parents actually tape-recorded me singing and talking when I was three, which they still have and we like to play now and then, giggling away at it all. They also have other fun recordings they saved of us as children opening presents at Christmas and me singing a Christmas carol, Away in a Manger, in the choir doing a solo at age 3 in front of hundreds of people where I briefly pause and take a gulp of air in the middle of it without a flinch or care. My parents said everyone smiled and got a kick out of that in the audience. 🙂
I’m going to visit them next week for the holidays, so we likely will bring these tapes out, or shall I say, my brother will get them out to laugh at.
Needless to say, my stuffed friends – enchanted to me – were very dear and still are.
I always connected to my cosmic self since I was a child and my E.T. friend provided a sense of comfort and home where I felt uprooted. My mom would tuck me into bed with E.T. throughout childhood AND high school, sheets up to both our chins. And then Eeyore joined as well.
“In my soul, I am still that small child who did not care about anything else but the beautiful colors of a rainbow.” ~Papiha Ghosh
This particular stuffed Eeyore happens to look like my beloved, departed Nestor. The two of them together, E.T. and Eeyore, remind me of me and Nestor on many levels, as you can see in this photo above left.
E.T. and Eeyore have traveled with me, even joining me in a couple classes I participated in, in Sedona with Laura, just after Nestor transitioned. They are both in perfect condition except for E.T.’s finger and toe being bitten by Nestor…a nice little reminder of her always being a part of me and with me, or as E.T. says, “I’ll be right here.”
And now they have rejoined me in bed and are bringing their warmth, love and magick again into my life and dream time. I love going to sleep and waking in the night and morning, finding them wrapped together under one or both of my arms. For the first time last night, somehow Eeyore and E.T. switched places and E.T. was actually upside down, but they were still side by side, as they always are. I wonder what we were up to in the night? 🙂
I have always lived in my imagination and brought my imagination to life. I will continue to do so throughout my infinite existence.
Imagination is our creative power source from which we shape our experiences and create new and more enriching realities.
“Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon. A happiness weapon. A beauty bomb. And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one. It would explode high in the air – explode softly – and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air. Floating down to earth – boxes of Crayolas. And we wouldn’t go cheap, either – not little boxes of eight. Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in. With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest. And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination.” ~Robert Fulghum
Take a Leap of Heart
A little mid-day inspiration…
I’ve posted this song before, but I’m listening to this right now while I work and this particular video for it is my favorite.
All of the imagery is stunning, inspiring, and reflects the seasons of change, but my favorite part (absolutely love) is between the 2:00 and 2:52 mark. The footage speaks volumes for itself.
Let go and jump in with the fullness of your heart.
Returning to the Origins of Innocence
Me with my new faery cut, au naturale, sans makeup
About 6 weeks ago, I posted about a lot of changes taking place personally for me, which included a major energetic shift that resulted in the manifestation of a whole new outward, to reflect inward, image. I chopped off all of my hair – about 14″ + to be exact, which I donated to Locks of Love. While I loved the new liberating hair, there was still something slightly energetically off and I’ve been itching for the last few weeks before my next hair appointment, to embrace an even more dramatic energetic shift.
So, just two days ago, I chopped away again and had my hair stylist give me a pixie/faery cut. We chopped off like another 3″ +. LOL! I also went from my very black color, which I’ve had for several years, to a dark brown that shows medium brown in the sunlight, which lightened things up and emulated what my natural adult hair would be like. And VOILA! instant YES!! The result was an energetic match and I can’t share how immensely authentic and good it feels. LOVE it!
It wasn’t something I’ve pondered and been trying to figure out…it was me following my intuition and supporting and trusting what I kept sensing felt right to replace what felt off. It feels to me that this is energetically a “return to my origins,” which may hold deeper meaning and connotation for me than it might to others, as it goes further than the literal sense of simply mirroring my child essence from little girl days – although that definitely is part of the bigger picture and what I naturally was expressing and knowing at that young age.
I remember clearly as a very young child that everything I was, in essence, was in its fullness upon entering this experience of life – it was then a journey to remember that, after forgetting and being conditioned differently through the “human” experience. We each go through this in different ways. While in human embodiment; souls must relearn their innate powers and understanding that is accessible to all in the universe. But it always was and is there right within you awaiting the reopening of all your energy systems to once again have direct access, which cannot be done for us or interfered with by anyone.
My previous first short cut had longer layers and bangs and this new one has no layers and without bangs, keeping things fresh, clean, very light, open and revealing in a very emanating and vulnerable way – and that feels amazing. It is so short, it reveals a very special birthmark I have at the back of my neck where the bottom of my skull connects to the top of it. This has a powerful symbolism for me that feels extra empowering to be revealing.
Me and my mom at Niagara Falls
Every time I see myself in the mirror I see myself as a little girl when I used to have the same hair cut and was most connected to my authenticity until now. It has added extra magical and light energy to my experience as well.
I find that everything in my experience is continually returning to this “innocence” of embodying the essence I’m remembering entering in with and of my origins. It chokes me up a bit as I write this, as I’ve never felt more groundedly clear than I have recently about this bigger picture connection.
I also have never felt complete in terms of the sacred tattoo designs I wear as my “Spiritual Skin” until now and this all seems to mirror a wholeness that has been coming into being along this journey – pages of the story kept being written with each addition and that book has come to an end. This has created a sense of closure for me with my last tattoo….On to a new book 🙂
Even my creative expression through paintings has been harnessing the natural energy in my heart in a very pure and flowing way. This is coming through in my newest pieces of my series, Universal ARKitecture. And in totality, each facet of my work/service are evolving into what is most naturally mirroring of this remembrance.
Needless to say, energy always shifts and there will always be transformational new legs of the journey to evolve into and embrace. It feels, at least in my own experience and those of others I speak to and hear from, that the first leg of the journey has come, or is in process of coming, full circle and a new slate of reality is being laid where anything is possible and goes. You merely need to listen, trust and know what it is you want to create and poof, it can and will be!
What evolves from here is a whole new playing field that is nothing like what has been until now, where an enormously unlimited new experience can be created. And each of us are going through this in our own unique ways. We follow our own paths and while the themes may all be connected, the process and how that manifests for each is an individual experience relative to, and based upon, your story. We will get there in our own ways and timing. It is a powerfully exciting time holding amazing opportunities at every corner of personal choice.
Fear or love, still to me feel to, hold the crux of these choices.
I know so many are at pivotal points in their own journeys and some times it can be exciting with all these magical synchronicities that take place, and at other times it feels like you just can’t take anymore and want to give up or feel completely discouraged and defeated. Please hang in there, be gentle, nonjudgmental, unconditional and supportive with yourself and others. Everyone is going through their own story and knowing how challenged you may feel might, in the presence of your awareness of how connected we all are and how we mirror to each other what each of us most needs to assist us in our evolution, provide you with the ability to lend a helping hand, even if simply to be in your heart and share love.
The more present in love you can be, the more you honor and trust yourself – as you have all the answers within, without need to look elsewhere – the more your heart will reveal its truth to you and the veils of fear will drop – fear of self, fear of external factors, fear of others, fear of illusions that have only the power you give to them.
You will always receive help if you ask for it, but to recognize the help you will need to see everything in your life from the second you ask for help on, as a part of the answer to your prayer. Remember that when we ask for help, we DO receive answers in perhaps less than obvious ways sometimes and perhaps wearing different packaging or clothing than we thought it might come in. Keep your awareness at an all-time high and your vibes untainted by ingenious distractions or densities. Every thing around you has a gift to give you, from the mirror of yourself within, and will support your growth along this journey if viewed from the perspective of gratitude, presence, responding rather than reacting, and loving detachment.
It is up to you to embrace and put things into motion by being the new choices that will create the things you have asked for, as no one else and no other “help” can do this for you. The law of free will supports choice and it is up to you to choose a new path, if that is the path you desire to create.
There is truly nothing to fear. Fear really IS an illusion that is unnatural to who you are at the heart of hearts. You are where you are supposed to be and in every moment there’s an opportunity to serve another or to receive support.
We each have the ability to embrace life as an exuberant, vibrant, fearless, innocent child of wonder and dream our experiences alive!
In keeping with the theme of this “return to innocence” and embracing the symbolism of the child within as guidance in the now, I hope you enjoy the messages and energy of these Enigma songs, which I’ve posted before, but seem to come full circle again. The first being one of my all-time favorites. In love, XOOX!!
Let Yourself Wander. You Will Find Your Way. – The Child Within Re-Discovered
Let Yourself Wander. You Will Find Your Way. (Illustration by Tania Marie 2003)
Many of us have forgotten about our own inner child, or have lost it along the way, and in doing so, do not remember the power of hope and believing. Nurturing the imagination is vital and contains the ingredients necessary for manifestion. Anything you can envision and feel, IS possible.
When we realize that we have the power to manifest miracles in our lives, I believe we will responsibly learn to co-create. Whatever we choose to believe, is what our reality is. But if we don’t even know how to believe anymore or how to hope and dream, or how to choose consciously, then we are missing out on what life could be.
Doing my part is simply and authentically about expressing who I am, as a cohesive thread in the collective consciousness, through the unique form that I have to share (as we each uniquely have an expression of gifts to share with the world). In embracing ourselves and allowing that which we have inside to flow to all, we can create much beauty.
I have always resonated with children and animals, understanding that they hold a key to healing on a deeper level. Their naturally loving, expressive, playful, connective, and instinctual natures are important ingredients to integration. We have lost our innocence and natural ability to feel and to trust in our knowingness, as a result of forgetting our essence and from being out of tune with our bodies’ natural rhythms. Children and animals love us regardless of what we look like or how we may behave. They know what it means to love unconditionally and that is all they hope of us – that we will love them unconditionally.
Children are powerful in their vulnerability. In their innocent self expression, they emanate an aura of invincibility. To be vulnerable is to be powerful. Vulnerability is a sense of trust and the willingness to express yourself freely and without inhibitions. As we grow older, we lose our innocence and vulnerability, in place of self control and judgment. In a sense, we lose our authentic power.
Recapturing our child-like exuberance, opens the flow of joy and the electric energy of life to surge through us. To go farther than you ever thought possible, daring to explore the depths of your imagination, is truly being alive.
Dare to have fun, explore, laugh, love, believe, and dream. The world is yours to create. What do you want your life to look, feel, sound, taste, and smell like? Indulge your senses with your imagination…..
The child within awaits your loving recognition and nurturing, which in turn will unlock the door to your authentic and magickal experiences that await you.