The last couple of nights my sweet boy, Cosmo, has been coming to me in my dreams. I feel him so strongly that my heart both aches and feels enlivened by the waves of his powerful love running through it. His love is as vast as the cosmic waters of All That Is. He knows that it is because of his presence and my other bunny loves, including Astrid here in this realm, that I feel most inspired to move forward with the things my heart whispers. He and they are the wind beneath my wings. We are One.
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I feel he is sending me a message of love and gratitude, as he truly was my son in every sense of the word.
I’ve written before about how he was the one who truly awakened that Sacred Mother within me in a very new way, even though I will never experience an actual physical birth in this life with a child.
Astrid is in every sense of the word, a true embodiment of Sacred Mother energy, as she so beautifully and powerfully exhibits how she watches over the humans and bunnies we know and the creatures of the forest here, and how she walks in partnership with her Earth Mother. Although she is so clearly of the stars and exhibits being much more from beyond than of Earth, she is very balanced in her energies as a Virgo, and hugely in touch with that feminine earthiness.
She is a beautiful example for me of this balance and a model of both the tenderness and awe-inspiring power and strength of the Sacred Feminine and Mother.
Between both Cosmo and Astrid, I am receiving the gifts of what it means to walk in this essence ever more so each day.
As I shared in a post about Cosmo several years back, I don’t believe one has to actually birth a child from their womb to have this experience, although it definitely is one of the very rich ways to know this aspect of self as reflection of our Earth Mother’s own blessings in this regard. But, nor would one necessarily need to have any form of children to know this part of a woman that simply IS due to her being a woman.
And equally, men have access to this essence, as there is a union we each have dancing within us even though we are playing out one role more than the other. This is something we can become more and more aware of, as we tune into and honor these parts both inside and out.
I believe that the alchemy of the Sacred and Divine Feminine and Mother is an innate essence for us to remember being within us and to embody, reawaken, activate, and shine forth without shame, guilt, fear, or judgment. We can awaken it through the act of self-love, through the channeling of creativity and nurtured passion, through sacred ritual, through our sexuality and sexual alchemy, and through the intimacy of relationship to all that is within the deep recesses of our most ancient, rich, inner mysteries.
For me, it feels as if Cosmo truly was a baby I birthed. And likely we have that connection from a time removed from this particular focused one, but it’s there. I had these instincts where he is concerned that I know is like that of a mother and baby that goes beyond just our soul companion connection.
And every moment I got to spend with him, even if it was the rigorous routines others might tire from, I was thoroughly enraptured with, loving any time I could spend with him, especially holding him close to my heart on my chest and helping to soothe his pains. I always felt like I was exactly where I needed to be, time stood still, I didn’t feel I needed to do anything else, and actually would have been happy just taking care of him.
I loved bath time and I loved holding his hand when I took him in to his vet and therapy appointments, reassuring him I was right there. I loved waking to see how he did in the night, and I couldn’t wait to see him when I returned home from anywhere, feeling sad to leave him, but also knowing the separation was good for growth and expanding our telepathic connection.
If you saw us in the afternoons and evenings, when he laid cradled in my arms and fell asleep on my chest as I gave him his Reiki and Crystal massages or even just cuddled him, you’d swear you were seeing a mother holding her newborn after nursing, or just putting her baby to sleep for a much needed nap. The way he looked just like a baby against my chest with his little hands and head safely cushioned by the warmth of my skin was very telling.
I feel like the only time Cosmo really slept best is when we were cuddling, and he could relax and feel nurtured. And guess what? He was nurturing me right back.
He helped to bring another layer of balance to my life, connection with my inner child AND inner mother, and softened, as well as strengthened the abilities I have to share with him and others – all adding to the layers of richness I continue to experience and open to in my life in bigger ways on many levels.
With his added presence, my own presence shifted and much was, and continues to be, supported to birth into being from this Sacred Womb of Creation within me that is being nurtured, embraced, enjoyed, honored, and celebrated.
There is a greater sense of being that came from knowing myself as a reflection and extension of our Earth and Cosmic Mother.
Astrid wanted me to share about this connection with Cosmo, as a way to honor that Sacred Mother energy the collective is sharing this Sunday.
Little did she know that I would share on how she is an incredible reflection for me of what this means and looks like.
I am grateful for both Cosmo and Astrid for what they have helped ignite within me.
All of my sweet animal companions have been incredible teachers for me in the most beautiful ways. I truly wouldn’t be where I am and who I am without their guidance and inspiration.
Part of why Astrid wants me to share this is also as a way for the human collective to understand the deeper partnership we have with all life and that whether you find yourself surrounded with many humans, animals, plants, otherworldly friends, or simply living in union with Terra – our Earth Mother – and on your own, there is incredible richness available to know yourself more in the simplest of ways.
Life doesn’t have to look extraordinary or be extraordinary by anyone’s definition of what that means.
Life IS extraordinary in its simplicity.
Even the trials, the challenges, the ugly, the raw, the pains, the disappointments, the routine, the less than ideal – has a bitter sweetness that reveals we are truly alive, what we are capable of, and how infinite creativity is – an enriching extension of spirit and being, although our minds would rather negate these experiences.
These things enliven how it is to feel.
These things are exercise to the heart just as we exercise our physical body and other muscles.
So while I am a curious being by nature, it is in the most seemingly mundane moments that I have truly experienced myself, love, and peace.
My curiosity has led me to see what is right before me.
In caring for Cosmo and Astrid, and all of my sweet companions, they help focus my vision to the now.
I realized yesterday how potent today – Valentine’s Day – and the energy surrounding this day has been over the last couple of years for me and my little ones with big souls.
And while I shared February’s Newsletter last evening, which focused on the importance and value of self love and individual expression, I know that my beautiful animal companion partners have been instrumental in helping me to discover the layers of myself to love.
As I shared in my newsletter, “it just so happens that things have aligned to create Valentine’s Day as my day of falling in love with myself in a renewed way….celebrating a rekindling of my relationship to myself on a whole new level, as well as beginning a transition into another leg of my journey with shifts of focus and romancing my soul’s essence in a new dance of life.”
That dance of life couldn’t have been possible without my sweet loves and the precious and valuable reflections they have gifted me. Their soul journeys and the energy they carry have been the alchemy of my life.
And, this day – Valentine’s Day – one year ago was the beginning of Cosmo and Joy’s dance together, uniting the Sacred Masculine and Feminine energies that reflected for me the union within myself I was also ready to embrace and empower.
It is so interesting to see how throughout my life I mostly had only female animal companions.
I had only one other male energy – my first male rabbit, Twinkie, but for only three months of my life before he left this Earth. He began my journey, holding that point for me on the path, reminding me I would need to revisit his energy again when I was ready.
But it appears I needed to work with the Feminine energy first, as the collective has been doing too.
And so every dear companion after Twinkie was female – all of my parakeets and then of course Nestor, Gaia, and Joy.
It wasn’t until Cosmo that the Sacred Masculine returned…when I was ready to unite those parts in a new way within myself.
As it isn’t just about the Feminine focus. We cannot forget the Masculine and we will need revisit the Male energy to integrate both in their highest potential and purity, for wholeness.
This is the symbolism of divine love through divine union of both parts to create harmony.
And Joy and Cosmo’s journey has mirrored the energies I’ve been working on within myself, simultaneously. All of what has taken place couldn’t have been possible if we hadn’t been ready to integrate the next layers.
On this day, February 14th, 2015, in Big Bear,which was Joy and Cosmo’s first travels together, they shared their first and very long, peaceful nose-to-nose connection, which is what you see in this photo below.
And since that day, it’s been the most beautiful love connection filled with mutual respect, honor, tenderness, and warmth, which evolved into this not long after:
I can’t believe both that it’s already been a year, but that it’s only been a year!
It seems like an eternal love we have shared together across time.
And speaking of love across time…I’ve had Gaia on my mind a lot recently, finding myself connecting with the Tortoise/Turtle energy and using it as example for a lot of things I talk about….”slow and steady like the turtle” I often find myself saying…or “going within like the turtle”.
I then yesterday got struck with the realization of a very poignant and memorable experience that happened with Gaia, two years ago yesterday.
On February 13th, 2014 I shared this story about Gaia, Tattoos, Lapis Lazuli & Expansive Shifts ~ The Journey Continues
And in the story was a recounting of what took place right before Gaia went into the Earth for good, and back to her expansive self without a body. I realized just yesterday the magnitude of that moment we shared now with ever greater meaning that at the time had a different meaning.
Now I understand Gaia was saying much more than a farewell for now, as since she did not return, she was actually soulfully sharing her eternal love and gratitude across space and time until our return to each other in spirit one day.
Here is the excerpt from my post of that experience we shared:
“I’d like to finish this post with the most endearing, amazing, and precious moment of reverence and love I’ve had with Gaia – I’m tearing up right now writing this. The depth of meaning to all that has been unfolding and that does in my daily life, in general, I can’t possibly express. Yet, I know many of you understand in your own unique ways with all that you experience. So some things are simply left unsaid.
This special experience happened this morning. Since Gaia returned, we washed her up and brought her indoors. The first evening she spent on her heating blanket, then fell asleep on the cold tile, likely needing to moderate her body temperature back in stages. She remained out of it and still not eating. Next morning she spent on her heating blanket and still no food, but later during Reiki training, she came marching through and made her way to my office and I later found her asleep under the bottom of my wall tapestry of Faery Queen Astranaithes – also known as the magickal Dragon Witch.
This morning when she woke up I brought her to her heating blanket and then put out some more food. This time she went to it and slowly ate several bites, taking her time to assimilate it. Then I watched what she wanted to do next, as I made smoothies and golden raisin, cinnamon scones in the kitchen. I saw her walk toward the door to the yard and looked at it, then went back to her heating blanket. I had a feeling she wanted back outside.
I went to go sit with her and check in. And this is when the most magickal moment happened.
I won’t be able to explain the magnitude, but I’ll just share what I experienced. I sat there with my hand, palm facing up, next to her, as I telepathically spoke to her. My hand started heating up like when I do Reiki and then Gaia slowly reached her right, front leg up and forward, letting it come to rest across my index and middle fingers where they connect to my palm. And she kept it there, as she then turned her neck towards me and stretched it as far as she could, looking me directly in my eyes, while we sat there – “holding hands”.
I was overcome with emotions hearing her saying thank you for everything, for trusting, and supporting her. All of the mutual respect, honor, gratitude and love we have shared through the ages all washed over us both in those minutes and we also were clear on how this journey would need to continue. I understood.
We were not only a human with her tortoise companion – leg in hand, but we were two souls meeting in our wholeness, as we recognized everything in that moment that was us and beyond us.
Tears rolled, as she then reached forward into my hand with her left, front leg and then slowly put half her body in my hand while again stretching to look up at me, asking me to lift and hold her up, as she once did for me. I held her to my heart and then knew she wanted back outside and wanted me to carry her there. I can share that Gaia has returned to the depths of Gaia – our connection and understanding deepened in mirror to the depths she will be traveling.”
I did not know then that our next meeting would be beyond this Earth experience.
And now I understand.
I understand so much more than I once have and that has come through the love and connection I share with my dear little ones.
Gaia, Joy, Cosmo, and Nestor have been my soul companions on a journey back to myself.
We have each supported one another and continue to do so regardless of being on or off Earth.
I have such a deep reverence for these souls that moves me beyond words. What they have helped me to uncover within myself could only have been through these bonds we shared.
I am deeply grateful they chose to show up with me again, this time around, as they/we knew it would be through our bond that I would evolve and work through my layers, just as I could support them with their journeys.
I have learned that love – the kind that is beyond physical love and walks the path of cosmic expansive love – is often the guiding force that trumps responsibility when we are challenged with doing what we know.
It’s no wonder that the souls in animal bodies would be the instruments to my soul’s evolution.
They know the way to my heart and my inner soul child.
And it is that heart and soul of the child within that has been the key all along.
The purity that resides there is the only mission I am driven to protect and express.
This is my little ones’ message for me…stand in the power, love, and purity of my innocence no matter what happens and takes place, for that is the sacred mystery that we seek.
And in order to do so I am my own mother and father…my own male and female partners…my own lover…my own friend…nurturing, guiding, loving, and supporting that innocence of being to sing her song she carries within her energetic signature.
Your inner soul child is simply wanting to be heard. And being heard, actually entails you have taken to heart what he or she says, and make a new commitment to do at least one small thing each day to support the requests.
These requests aren’t simply whims, but reflect a deeper knowing that will likely surpass your ability in the now to comprehend, but if you take the trustful steps to support them and do what it takes to integrate what could be of assistance to that process, the results will bless you beyond measure of any one thing you feel lacking and have been chasing after.
A new kind of clarity and understanding is available to each of us. It will awaken and shift you the instant you recognize and embrace it. And it will always keep you in check so as to alert you of imbalances where you can then make different choices that will harmonize and return that balance that is so needed for everything to flourish.
This will also help you to become more attuned to the natural world that will move you in divine cycles, rather than struggling against them to create artificial ones.
So, where are the barriers to your self love?
Removing the veils and masks will help you to be real about how you feel, not hiding behind what you think you “should” be feeling, saying, or showing to others.
If you can’t be genuine with something – and you know when you’re not – then take time to explore what’s behind that.
This is a time for opening up and expanding into more authentic love and compassion for self, others, and all of life.
Make this Valentine’s Day be the day of romancing YOUR soul’s essence in a new dance of life.