21 Years Ago
Wow! So my mom reminded me yesterday that it was 21 years ago, today (March 26, 1997), that she, my dad, and I moved to Sedona, AZ with our parakeets (Bee and Tee). It seems like lifetimes ago, and in fact it really is, as I moved through lifetimes of experiences while living there. Way too much went on during my two years there to write all about, but it does feel full circle and powerful to acknowledge it this year given all of the shifts I’ve gone through since then. I’ve always felt that Sedona is one of those places that provides opportunity for huge transformation if you can embrace and harness the potent energy there. Sedona will test you and dispel you if you are not able to look deep within. She will also let you know when your time is done and the journey leads on.
My parents had a house there for nearly 10 years, of which 2 years of that I lived with them – the first year being the most profound and challenged. At first, I had no plan to go with them, but right at the last minute I decided it was time for a huge change. In 1998 I got my very first tattoo there, which is a butterfly on my left shoulder blade, to celebrate the transformation I embraced and spreading my wings for the first time. The butterfly had come to me just before we moved, as my symbol of my life path, and then while living in Sedona manifested everywhere I turned in crazy synchronicity and abundance.
I’ve returned to Sedona many times, with a large break between the next time I returned after living there, but then was back a couple of times in a row for some classes and hosting a booth at the Raw Spirit Festival, breaking again until I got my dragon tattoo there by the amazing Siva, and then returning the last three years in a row at the same time each year – Spring. Each journey being hugely mirroring and opening for my life.
On our way to the Grand Canyon from Tucson just a couple of weeks ago, we passed Sedona (this would be the fourth year in a row, but without a stop) and that felt interesting to journey through this time, just catching a glimpse of Her red rock entrance from the highway and the sign for “Sedona” we acknowledged, but did not take this spiral on the journey.
There are a handful or so of life-shifting moments, experiences, and even souls I remember as the biggest gateways for leaps in my life and making that decision to live in Sedona was one of them. It completely changed everything and closed a huge door in my life.
I’ve mentioned to many people how I made the decision when I moved there to walk away from my life as I knew it, and then delved into self growth and inner explorations by basically coaching myself with every tool I had available at the time. I spent all day with myself in my room, mostly, reading, utilizing every technique I knew of then, tearing apart, reviewing, revisiting, remembering, retrieving, and forgiving and healing everything up until that point in my life that I could unravel on my own. It was intense, it was challenging, and it took me on a journey of complete solitude. I said goodbye to everyone in my past and even completely got rid of my entire wardrobe, to not have remnants of the old me.
My only contact with the outside world was the walks I took up to Chapel Rock from our house where people from around the world would touch in with me. I thought that was fascinating given my hermit mode and yet the only contact I had was from the collective melting pot that traveled there. I would sit both in the Chapel and outside on the ledge overlooking everything, meditating and focusing on the healing process and new I was intending.
There were some times I would drive to the creek and sit by the water, flowing my healing tears to cleanse myself and renew.
All of this created a purging on every level and physical cleansing all on its own.
It wasn’t the only time I focused in this way, but was the most intense time. We had both sides of our family visit while I was in the middle of it from New Jersey and France, which added to the full circle work I was doing, hitting generations and DNA of patterns to heal.
I bring this up because I feel like I’m in that kind of place again where life will never be the same and yet processes to do this are no longer the same. Change is easy now and the drawn out analyzing and dissecting happens merely with awareness and a choice. Times are different….time is speeding up….and we have shifted the journey by going through the evolutionary process and refining it.
I know I’ve spoken of closing doors on my life and work a lot recently, which ignited with our Magick Bus adventure, and yet the new of that decision and exploration is only just anchoring in. I’m only just about to walk fully through the door and have yet to see how all of it will evolve.
I have inklings of what “might” be and the dreams and passions that call, but it is only with every step forward that I will see what actually will manifest, as every single piece can shift what is next.
I don’t cling on to how things need to turn out, even though I envision what I’d love to see….because I know that what will evolve is always better than what I can imagine. At least, that is, as long as I keep saying “yes” to each piece that shows up and touches my heart into greater expansion.
I’m grateful for the times I went through the hardest stuff, as I can now really appreciate the journey that much more. It almost seems incredibly easy and surreal, so having that kind of a “past” keeps me humbled and aware of the full picture that made it possible.
We’re all on different legs of our journey, each valuable and valid. There will always be something new to learn and a new process to embrace that will lead us forward. They will present their own challenges, yet with the experience behind us, we learn to move through them much more gently and with ease. So, in fact, it may just be that the process becomes second nature, rather than in incremental learning. (1111 words)