Monthly Archives: October 2014

Mindfulness ~ Your Impact on the World

your impact on the world

 

You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make. ~Jane Goodall

 

Remembering, Honoring & Celebrating a Dear Soul – Cliff Durfee

cliff and tania

Cliff and I at the Self Realization Fellowship Hermitage and Meditation Gardens

It’s been a very challenging, intense, and volatile period for the collective. We’ve been experiencing the passing of many beautiful souls, both in human and animal bodies that are making their transition. Things are shifting in ways that have immense impact and hopefully create the impetus for immense change.

Like many of you, I have also experienced the passing of dear ones, and have been supporting others going through the same. As you may know, my sweet Russian Tortoise, Gaia, recently moved on into her cosmic self, and just Friday a very dear friend of mine moved into the peace and expanse of his soul.

It is he that I wish to honor and remember today, after just learning of his passing yesterday.

Some of you may know him as well, so if this is your first time learning of this, I hold you in love as you integrate the news.

The beautiful soul I speak of is Cliff Durfee.

You may remember my post about his wonderful book, Stories for the Inner Ear, which includes my thoughts on it, as well as a bio of Cliff for anyone interested in knowing more about the life he led and other books he’s authored.

As his bio shares, Cliff spent the last thirty years + “devoted to personal and spiritual growth, developing intuition, and supporting people in aliveness, love, and laughter.” And this truly is who he IS at heart – always giving, always open to deepening his experience, gratitude, and understanding of the mysteries of life.

He often told me of the stories from his past where he had opportunity to meet and engage with people like Shakti Gawain, before her books became popular (an author that was important along my journey), as well as Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, and others. He had such a wealth of knowledge and richness of experience to share. And in recent years had become devoted to educating people on chemtrails, and shared with me his passions of projects he was wanting to create to support others.

If you haven’t read “Stories for the Inner Ear”, I highly recommend it for the reasons you’ll find at the link. Plus, it will really give you a glimpse of the heart and soul of Cliff.

There’s so much I could say about Cliff, but really want mostly to remember the beauty of who he is and always will be, as his soul lives on in every way and in every one of the people he touched with his immense heart.

Cliff and I became good friends online via Facebook maybe 6 years ago, and we then continued a friendship outside of that forum, on Skype messaging and calls, as well as emails. The world wide web certainly has made it possible to enjoy wonderful connections and bridge the space between physical distance, even if it does create other issues to be mindful of.

We always shared a special and mutually admiring friendship, but it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that we finally had the chance to meet in person, even though we lived about an hour to an hour and a half apart. Divine timing is always at work.

This would be the only time we connected in the physical, but it was so perfect and reflective of who we each are in essence and the beauty of our friendship. I’m so grateful for it.

On that day, I went down to visit him in Encinitas and we spent a lovely day together, as he showed me his world and we shared many a hug, smile, and laughter.

I got to see the wonderful place he called home and the trees, flowers, and plants outside his place that he often told me about that were dear to him and that he could see out his window from where he worked and talked to me (including stories on how he saved many of them and some trees he stopped the tree cutters from cutting down).

I had the chance to meet the lovely little parakeet that adopted him (Sweety Bird) and shared some tea, as he showed me some of his life treasures, including an angel I’d sent him, which he said was so dear to him.

cliff durfee and tania

Cliff and I at Moonlight Beach

I also had the chance to visit some of his favorite spots including exploring the Self Realization Fellowship Hermitage and Meditation Gardens above the ocean, his favorite lunch spot – Lotus Cafe and Juice Bar – for a vegan lunch and shared dessert, and then a long walk and continued meaningful conversation on his favorite Moonlight Beach.

How grateful I was and am that I got to see all these reflections of him that he held so dear, as well as share stories and hear of the wonderful experiences he’d had in his life and the stories behind his lovely book.

And even though we physically met only once, our connection was one that extended well beyond, as a soul friendship running very deep and dear.

Cliff was to me such a pure soul that exuded love, gentleness, compassion, and innocence. While he was such a wise man, that was all embodied in an incredibly sweet child.

It is this place that he and I met so beautifully and the thing we both respected and admired in one another.

Cliff often wrote the sweetest messages and comments on my posts that truly touched me, and he daily extended his gratitude in deep ways for who I was. He told me I’d inspired him to be vegan, and often sent me vegan recipes he found, knowing how much I liked to make things. He always commented on my posts when I shared a vegan dish I’d made, saying how he wished to be my next door neighbor so we could share in the yummyness.

I wished we could have too. And yet now we are in a way. I’ll smile every time I make something in the kitchen, knowing he is right beside me enjoying the process and now able to be with me to enjoy them as he wanted.

He often made mention that that one day we shared as friends, meeting in a timeless sacred space, changed and infused him with a new outlook on life, by his being able to experience seeing life through my eyes that day.

And yet, it is I who felt most gratitude and honor FOR HIM, as it was the reflection of who he is that drew out the essence of who I am. I often told him in each of our exchanges, how dear he was, and how much I so appreciated him.

Never did either of us take for granted any conversation or connecting time, no matter how small or short it may seem.

He often called me his angel, and yet he is now mine living in the expansive freedom, joy, purity, and love that he is in my heart and in all of the hearts of those who hold him dear and the many he has, and will continue to touch with his soul, and through his beautiful work he gifts us.

Cliff is one of those very special souls that you are truly blessed in life to be graced with their presence. I did and always will adore him.

I did not have the chance to be with him in his last days, but I did have the opportunity to talk to him, which I’m so grateful for. My connection with him, kept me intuitively in tune, and when I felt something and hadn’t heard from him, it made me check in with him. That is how I found out about his sudden turn of events with his health, which was completely out of the blue.

We then were able to have a beautiful and positive conversation, which was to be the last, as he called me from the hospital, the day before being released to hospice at home. We shared some tears, and some laughs (he still had his lovely humor despite the prognosis), and he told me the peace he was in, and that he truly was okay with whatever was to be. He asked if I could send him some Reiki for the pain, which I continued to do each day, and we planned that when he was settled back home, I was going to go visit him, but this did not come to be.

Friday, something told me to check in with him. So I messaged him, but no answer. I felt something, yet it wasn’t until yesterday that I discovered it was the morning of that very day I checked in with him (8:15 am) that he passed.

cliffHowever, that conversation that we last shared was perfect and lingers with me. We were both able to say from our hearts (several times) the most important thing, which is how we left the conversation upon hanging up, “I love you so much”.

And that is the message I hope to leave with each of you, and which he impressed upon me so much, as I was reflecting yesterday about him at the beach.

To live each moment fully. To embrace what is most important in life and of lasting value. And to always say, share, and be all the things that you are, would always wish to say to or wish to hear from others, even if you aren’t receiving it, and to not waste a single moment.

I honor and celebrate you Cliff in the expansive freedom and grace of who you are now and always. I’m so grateful to have been touched by the love you so generously share. We are all so gifted by your presence.

Reflecting the love and joy that you are and celebrating you in every breath of life.

Rumi ~ Don’t Go Back to Sleep

A simple, but empowering reminder.

Thanks Laura for sharing this beautiful video.

Sky Sent ~ Conscious Realization to Forge Ahead

eckhart tolle

In the stillness of your presence, you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form. You can then feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love. ~Eckhart Tolle

 

This quote and what is transpiring collectively, reminded me of this song. I love the visual journey of the video accompanied by the pure and enchanting voice weaving a story that feels to activate a remembrance.

For those of you who like words, here are the lyrics to “Sky Sent” by Anael and Bradfield:

Et miratur omnis terra
Benedictus qui venit
De celeste armonia

i. Destiny

How to begin such a disclosure?
So many years and over our heads
Led to assume there was no reason
Left in the dark to conjure instead

Search knows no end in hearts of believers
Faith inhabits the soul of mankind
Great men of the truth have uncovered answers
With this, our destiny will be defined

Sky sent, crossing time to tell the future
Guide our way, it’s a long road
Sky sent, through the frosty winter of dissent
Will we forge ahead?

ii. The Plan

All of your life you’ve been waiting
What you’ve known is alive
Carrying gifts that will change this world
Things that amaze and defy
An energy source for tomorrow
A model for clearing the air
And every country a partner free
Sharing and lending a hand for this plan

So into these unchartered waters
That one day to travel through time
Coping with damage inflicted
Needs some instant and radical strides
Beginning by sharing the knowledge
And openly admitting the lie
So every man who is fond of peace
Can consciously make up his mind
For this plan…

iii. Sanctuary

Seek your sanctuary in this place
It’s an allegory to embrace
Try your telepathy, send your grace
It’s all vibratory, you’ll engage…

iv. Crossing Time

Love is the key if skies are to welcome
Goodwill among men the only reply
Blessed, each of us here to witness this opening
Saught since the beginning of time…

Sky sent, crossing time to tell the future
Guide our way, it’s a long road
Sky sent, through the frosty winter of dissent
Will we forge ahead?
Will we form consent?

And here is the journey:

Mendocino/Fort Bragg Vacation

This is an intro to the story I alluded to in my “Neverending Story” flashback post today, dedicated to Laura. She reminded me she had posted a bit about our magickal experience back in September of 2009, from which my today post: http://taniamarie.com/2014/10/24/a-little-neverending-story-flashback/ was inspired. I didn’t have a blog back then, and forgotten she’d written this, so I share it with you now.

Here’s a fun little trip down memory lane with Laura and I, which but scratches the surface of what took place. The story went on quite a journey that continued more than was shared here and took us down a winding road after our second 5-hour sit-down, and even into dream time that night that we woke to.

The way Laura ends her post is perfect:

“Two fair maidens met a werewolf on Full Moon’s Eve” or “the shaman and the faeries walked together and down the road” or “a person’s word is bond.”

But I think I’ll just say, “we tiptoed into the Pomegranate Garden, tasted the fruit and smiled.”

Alan Watts: “I have often puzzled and puzzled, what it must be like, to go to sleep and never wake up. . .”

I love the deep and complex thinking of Alan Watts. Thank you Ann Kreilkamp for this post that feels in line with the collective energy and all the transitions taking place.

Synchronously, I was just talking with my family today, having quite a powerful discussion, as we often do, after their listening to a recent interview I posted from Mark Passio. We ended up also then discussing death and the fears people have around it, although both my family and I have none.

We discussed how a lot of people we knew were currently challenged with a health crises, those that have or are in process of transition, and how this is all connected to the energy of this paradigm playing out right now in a bigger picture way.

Alan’s words are powerful to reflect on.

A Little Neverending Story Flashback

neverending story

 

Feeling the energy of this right now and yes, the magick…….

Dedicated to the magickal Laura. Remembering our adventures and looking forward to the next very soon.

This so reminds me of our enchanted time in Mendocino and the Druid we encountered wearing the Auryn that took us on a journey that changed our lives forever and for the better.

Enjoy this flashback of Luck Dragons, Empresses, The Nothing, enchanted lands and creatures, and courageous hearts from one of my favorite movies, from which I, too, wear the Auryn symbol (seen on the cover of the book in the video and that Atreyu wears as a powerful gift from the Empress) as a sacred tattoo on my solar plexus…walking the alchemical middle way.

 

Accountability to Embody ~ Making Changes with Essence Integrity

rumi wise

 

I’ve learned that I simply don’t want, nor can afford, to put energy into things and experiences that no longer serve, and truly aren’t aligned with, what I’m guided to create from the essence of my natural frequency, as that not only affects my well-being, but my ability to be of greatest service for the highest good and to people who are also taking accountability in their lives.

Realizing where my time and energy would be better focused for that greater good supports embrace of Divine timing and flow of all things to take place, which creates that magickal alignment.

This also creates the basis for profound change that comes from within and stems from a more natural alignment with what is core to me, rather than a displacement of my desires to be in that alignment.

Like some of you, I have felt guided to withdraw physically from many things in order to actually be able to give more, which is through my own transmutation into who I am in essence.

This has involved, and will continue to involve, a lot of life readjustments, reorganization, review, and release, in order to focus on what is of most soul-benefit right now to be engaged with. It takes me on a journey through the shadows, as well as the light, so that I may bring a fuller depth of understanding to the choices I make and the creations that therefore will birth in greater wholeness.

One of my only outlets of connection, besides my work and personal life, is via this blog, where I share much of what feels important, inspiring, and creatively supportive to impart.

I share a lot of my personal journey whether literally or symbolically through my blog, as a means of support to others that I know go through similar experiences and might feel alone in that process, or like no one understands it.

It’s okay to change your mind, it’s okay to find new inspiration, and to admit you are feeling stifled even in the role others may respect and admire you for being in currently. This is a sign of growth and natural evolution. And as you let go of those “roles”, you are able to walk through new doorways of experience that provide the opportunities for expansive breath into new freedom that perhaps is less defined, but more expansively amorphous to what is energetically reflective of the nature of now.

I’m quite the shape-shifter that embraces change and I am willing to put that out there when it shows up, as I believe that change is the natural process of life and the one thing you can count on always being a part of it, whether you embrace it or not.

I’ve shared before that it has become increasingly important for me to shift gears and to let go of a lot of things that feel complete at this time in many areas of my life. This, in order to embody more of my essence and consciously create a new paradigm of experience I am called to, knowing that as I do so that it is the most responsible, accountable, and service related thing I can do by extension of BEING this.

This reflects in the expression of my creative life force/work I am called to do and also the life choices I make. So you HAVE seen, and WILL continue to see a lot of shifts in these regards from me.

For me, my original soul missions have and are coming to closure, which leaves me with expansive choices to make from a different essence place of myself. That is both exciting and can also invite much unknown that calls for greater courage, deeper trust, and full-on heart immersion, since this opens a wider realm of possibilities where things are revealed only moment to moment, as well as shift moment to moment.

That wasn’t quite the game before, as I did have foresight and an understanding of what I had set out to do. Now, I am really creating anew and in a state of reclaiming sovereign free will on a whole other level.

Much of what has been evolving for some of us in integration lives, is closure to a lot of what we originally set forth to accomplish, if in fact we’ve been doing the work. This has been happening increasingly since the last couple of years. And yet, in many ways, the realization of that hasn’t caught up for some, and in other ways some are caught in a perpetual, one-directional spiral, not realizing they have the ability to create a new spiral expanding out in many other directions.

And still yet for some, perhaps there is a place of comfort you’ve “arrived” at and are ceasing to stretch yourself into another level of evolution that has been nudging you.

Of course it’s well deserved to take a rest and break after much work I know many have been doing. But complacency and that sense of “arrival” you may have been pursuing, can be a hindrance not only to your own growth potentials, but to the collective at large.

Personally, I don’t feel okay with being complacent and just because I get to a place where I become really good at something I’ve been doing for a while and what people come to expect or connect me with, I know it is not for me to stay there, and to continue to step into another level to deepen and expand my experience, as well as to be of greatest service to others through that process and embodiment.

That may not be the case for everyone, but for me, this involves recognizing the time for allowing others to take over in some ways, and assisting them in that process to do so, and to move into another role of bridging things from the radiance of my “beingness”, which I nurture by supporting what is true to it.

Things are ready, and will become ready, BECAUSE of your willingness to release into more of who you are and into what seem like new realms, but truly are the most natural, core expressions of you.

In this way of opening to more possibilities and limitless expansion, you create doorways for others to access the same.

And this involves changing the inner landscape so that it is aligned with all that you hold dear, rather than focusing on the outer ideals you are trying to live up to, convince yourself you are reflecting, or feel compelled to project change ON to.

The inward journey of embodying who you really are in this moment, and bringing that forth, rather than trying to emulate what you feel you “need” to, or “should”, be doing – trying to come up with an idea that you try to fit yourself into – can be exasperating, draining, disappointing, and in the end will not produce the results you desire because they aren’t consistent with who you really are. This will be felt by others, whether consciously or subconsciously, and will also draw to you the energy that reflects this inner inconsistency.

It will also defeat your efforts to create change around you, as if you are not truly embodying that which you desire to see changed in others, you have already set yourself up for disappointment.

I believe that one of the greatest fears is to admit that we may not be who we really think we are. The same fear that others are demonstrating in not wanting to change in the ways you desire, is the fear within self that isn’t able to reconcile a similar inner discrepancy.

I think that what would be valuable to the process is a willingness to be honest with ourselves, to be open to honest feedback from others and their reflections of our inconsistency, and to be mindful of the type of energy we are putting out there.

I think a willingness to accept when it’s time to move into a new level of you is key and this can reflect in many ways, adding on dimensions and layers to what you currently do, or completely shifting into new aspects of yourself most currently reflective. I feel that the willingness to let go of control in any one area that we’ve attained or become good in, recognizing timing and how others are now capable and ready to step into those realms can be very beneficial. This will assist in living from true abundance and connection to your collective family, whom will be grateful for your honoring of their ability to step into their new roles you may be leaving.

I know there are times you may feel the need to be all things and master it all now, and yet we each have different and constantly evolving roles that are there to be honored throughout the course of our journeys, as well as carried out by others when we have a greater personal calling and better use of our gifts elsewhere. I’ve also seen the scarcity and ego mentality of people claiming certain attainments, that are unwilling to support others into their fullness or to help them to take over some of the positions they hold or may have held, as there is an attachment and fear not just of wanting to hold on to that status, but of fear to move into a new role where at first it will again be new in feeling and like starting from the bottom. This can all end up revealing a potential, false abundance mentality that has not yet truly been embodied.

Yet, if truth be known, in actuality the new role you release yourself into will be the most natural and most expansive you’ve experienced so far, if you can get past that old fear pattern that yes, is still hanging on, regardless of the conscious claims you make.

Because, let’s face it…it’s scary to move beyond something you know really well, right? But a little healthy fear is the catalyst for great change. It’s not the enemy…it’s indication of your desire for the new (or rather, indication of the more “you”), nudging you to get all your parts in alignment for the inevitable.

And imagine now, if you will, the people who are on their beginning phases of their more conscious journey, or in their own transitional phase into the next change, then.

Remember how it may have felt to you before you got to where you are now feeling very comfortable, and remember how you feel now if you in fact are being nudged out of your comfort zone to yet ANOTHER new leg of your evolutionary journey? When you remember this feeling, maybe you can then share a bit more compassion and let up on your desires to exert effort outside of yourself so that you’ll have more energy to put toward your own changes, which will reflect so beautifully for the people who will benefit from your desires and efforts embodied, rather than projected.

As one door closes, another opens…and the doors you close, are the opening doors for others, and vice versa. We are always in a connective process that triggers a collective domino effect. So when we make courageous choices to change, others are simultaneously ready and able to do the same.

Life is always an experience of wholeness….we are both leading and following, teachers and students, changing and awaiting change, fearing and desiring change…. at the same time. If you can stand in the place of acknowledgment, and detachment from identifying solely with any of these, then you can just be with the process naturally.

We each affect change and provide a catalyst for each other, but it stems from what is taking place within and then embodied, inside out. We are all on different journeys and different places along those journeys. Increasingly it is becoming important to act responsibly, consciously (awareness is power), and to be accountable for what you embody, as well as seek from within.

Make the changes that are true to you and not some idealized version of you, or as an act of defiance, or guilt. And if you don’t yet know what that is, then make a commitment to start listening more so you can hear the subtle voice of your truth amidst all the “noise”, which can be both obvious and not obvious.

“For those of you who have exited your cocoon, your new mantra is, “Change is not Fearful.” You have perhaps focused on either emotional or physical issues and now you are likely moving into the opposite to learn that change is not fearful – just a ‘new normal’. There will be a time when change will be perceived as joyful. But for now, you’re learning it just is.”…..

“Some of you wish to stop a bit and learn how to love yourself. That is fine and good. Love is key to new earth. But part of that self-love is accepting your shifts and those of others without many, if any, visible changes.

Perhaps you expect those of the light to have some sort of halo about them so that you can tag them as important to your transition. In searching for that halo, you have listened to that channel, meditated with that teacher and drifted from thought to thought – hoping this or that person is the one who would anoint you as of the light. Just as your parents once told you that you reached certain stages in your life by allowing you more freedoms and responsibility.

You look for parents or community members to tell you that you are growing, shifting, changing. When in truth, they know as little as you do about this shift. There is no guru or parent to give you the parameters of the new you – there is only you.”

~Brenda Hoffman

 

accountability

Wake Up World ~ New Moon in Scorpio — The Resurrection of Desire

This is a fantastic and thorough article on today’s New Moon in Scorpio energies by Simon Vorster. Thank you Laura for sharing it.

Simon shares:

“The new lunar cycle in Scorpio brings with it a powerful cosmic flush”

“we will need to confront the inner core vibration of who we are. We have to dig deep, to the soul level….to the dark inner landscape”

“total security can only be found from within”

“It is time now to establish that personal, inner authority in the world. This is key to actualizing our desires and becoming awake to them. With this knowledge we are able to make choices to move away from, and stop supporting, these outdated structures one step at a time.”

this is a time of total “inner spiritual transmutation” – transmutation has become one of my favorite and most potent words over the last couple of years

we are on an “inward journey back home”

“we are powerful beyond measure”

“we are the Universe expressed in human form”

Read on to get the full story and how you can harness this potent energy.

Mark Passio: Transforming the Satanic Elements in Human Consciousness

If you believe that, as Laura phrased it through our comments back and forth on her post of this, “knowledge is power,” and would like to really empower yourself into a more conscious place of awareness and knowing so that you can make your own choices with the sovereign free will you innately have, but may not fully be utilizing, then you’ll find this interview to be quite eye-opening.

This is a very thorough and in both Laura’s and my opinion, truth-piercing, spot-on share from Mark Passio on a fuller picture, rather than just the shiny one that you may have been taught only to recognize.

Remember that simply because you acknowledge something, does not mean you are giving it power, are bad, or need to fear it. It simply means you are versing yourself in the true alchemy of transmutation, which is only done by knowing all of the parts that create the whole. And this will help lead you to the enlightenment and empowerment you seek.

I indicated to Laura that I immediately noted Mark’s right shoulder twitch that started as he began speaking, and continues throughout, and how that indicated to me this was important information being imparted and integrated, as he spoke. I also mentioned in my comments to her on her post that it reminded me of when I get into a very zoned out channeling mode where information comes through me in this stream of clarity from beyond myself and I start to shake at times, indicating always that I’ve stepped out of identification, and into a Source stream of consciousness.

The information may be challenging to swallow, but also liberating if you are open to exploring it. It’s definitely something you may want to listen to a few times, if you feel it resonates. The part on morality and freedom I also, like Laura, feel is very key in understanding the Universal Laws, and then putting them back into the forefront of experience.

Thank you Laura for sharing this!