Spending late summer by the ocean has been a rich experience for the change of seasons taking place both within and without. As we approach Autumn Equinox I can feel the key turn in the cycle of life’s door, supporting the shift of focus onto the bounty of growth that has taken place over the months.

The continual deep explorations, internal awakening, and filtering through my own heart lead to immense possibility and a renewed relationship to my true power and gifts. The same is true for us all.

When days were very dark and trudging through mud felt unending in my life, I dreamed of a time when this wouldn’t be my experience. I couldn’t see the way out, although everything I learned and believed pointed me in the very direction I kept going. It never makes sense when you’re in the middle of the process, how it will actually unfold the way you have come to mentalize it “should”. How does hope turn into a new reality?

And yet, it can, and it does. With a mixed bag of teetering courage and discouragement, it does. The pendulum swings come to feel like heart beats necessary to pulse life force through our veins. The miracle of our very existence makes itself more known.

A new reality does emerge…just not always in the ways or timeframes we might want it to, but in the ways and timeframes that see the journey through and come to accept the journey as its own creative mastery.

And when you harness the power and beauty of personal transformation you are then weaving a transformative thread through the collective tapestry – both by default and intentional focus, depending on how you feel called to what is available through you.

The beauty is, you get to decide how you want to share and apply the source of your inner power.

My life hasn’t always looked like the work of art I paint it today. Anyone who is an artist of any genre knows the mess artwork, tools, and environment can look like while in process of creating. Although, the splatter of colors or scattered materials, and disheveled quality to ourselves and our space can have its own brilliance and beauty, right? You’ve seen images of an artist’s studio or creative’s workspace – there’s an admiration and wonder evoked from the residual energies, born from the impetus of creation, lingering in the air.

Creating life as a work of art – my personal motto – is a perfectly messy and unpredictably divine process. And this process shifts over time, as we learn, modify, apply, and refine our techniques. Some of the time this will be an intentional process…and after a while, the intentions are inherent in our organic way of being.

As new ways are adopted, we find ourselves on an ever-increasingly seamless, creative journey, as we approach things like nature does…everything is a masterpiece artwork in motion of being, every single step of the way.

As we move along the road of life transformations, we discover changes to the way we travel it. And even when we let go of focusing on it, that in itself is part of the evolving process. Surrendering and being are just as much their own brush stroke to the art you’re creating.

These days, a lot is resurfacing and getting dredged up because the old, dried colors that were layered over the collective oil painting as cover-up, are painstakingly being removed with turpentine.

It’s needed in order to not just keep placing old layer upon old layer, but can tug at us during the process since we’re reminded of both the shadow and light of the images we once created.

This does provide a clean slate of possibility, however, that allows us to mix a new batch of colors and imagine a whole new layered masterpiece.

There are many things that tug and try to get us to turn back and replay old stories, as the past resurfaces. Attaching isn’t our divine Nature. It’s a conditioning we’ve learned.

There will come a time we will be able to surf any stream of experience again with unconditional curiosity and compassion and move seamlessly through the things that usually trigger us.

Why are we prone to get stuck in old emotions?

Perhaps they remind us why we are human… to experience the spectrum without judgment, as feeling in general is a gift. All part of the cycle and are simply life in motion…Nature being Nature.

Perhaps we stay in certain emotions until we master them, as those particular ones may be part of the collective’s processing toward alchemy.

There is a lot these days cropping up that we may have thought was gone or aren’t sure how they could possibly still be there in this day of age.

While moving forward and looking to new horizons will keep us in creative momentum, let’s not forget the parts we left behind. May we lovingly integrate and reclaim all we pushed away, in order to move forward with greater embodied wholeness.

And remember that direct action isn’t defined by only one version of scenario to fit a mold. I know that my own versions of change have taken various forms…some that shift over time and others that are long-standing. A lot of it is comprised of “being” and tendrils of that have included unconventional and complex methods of integration, especially where the Shadow is concerned.

I shared about this just over three weeks ago on my Instagram page, and felt called to include it in today’s post:

I wear sacred tattoo art on my skin that tells the story of my soul and the collective dynamics in order not to forget, but to also merge those parts toward an experience of greater nonjudgment. It might seem like some arbitrary fascination or artistic whim, yet I assure you a ton went into the process of imbuing the sacred ink I wear onto my skin, into my auric field, and beamed out through the cycle of transmutation.

As my kindred nature cocreator, artist, and faery sis, Laura shared in a long ago integration post of her own:

“Different people engage Shadows in different ways. My dear friend and sweet faery twin, Tania Marie prefers not to work as an activist exposing wrongs or fighting for rights, but she’s got a body full of extremely potent, powerful, deliberate, beautiful and what some people have even called “scary” tattoos. She’s got a dragon, snakes, and jaguars, occult symbols, Moon goddesses, and ancient languages all in black, black, black ink all over her body. That’s a lot of intensity, money and pain, which she wears in indelible ink as an unapologetic reclamation of the power, Shadow projections, and often corrupted goodness attached to all these things. Embodying the Shadow literally on her body allows Tania to live her life with innocence and childlike wonder while still honoring the vastness and power of her being.“

It’s one of my versions of shadow work to wear these as my skin and to take on the vibrations as a whole.

Light and dark exist as their own doing and undoing. There is a new reality where a version of them as One emerges through the birthing of a new element we have yet to know, just as we are each birthing into new versions of ourselves never experienced. We are integrating, blending, and transcending duality to know our multi dimensionality like never before.

And this feels to be the continuum.

I love this image of the white headed and dark headed pelican that appear to be sharing one body at center.

I didn’t actually have intention to write what I did in this post. I had a whole other idea, but it transmuted into what is here instead.

I’ve laced the passages, so far, with recent captures of expansive vistas (including cliffs and dunes we climbed, enchanted landscapes, more inspirational sunsets and floral beauties, and even kite flying) experienced since last I shared.

I also wanted to include these couple of photos of Dave I took on a hike yesterday. I saw this tree and asked him to sit there so I could capture him in his favorite forest.

I love how he, the light, and tree came together in a way that made it feel like they were melting into each other. Another reflection of things merging and transcending boundaries.

The rest of this post will be highlighted by the animal messengers and special little treasures that have punctuated my journey along with a short recount of the profound shift on 9/3 I mentioned in my last post that reflects how processes shift over time and that there are unlimited ways integration and transmutation takes place for each of us.

We’ve continued to be graced with an abundance of daily encounters that, of course, are very different than back home.

Bald eagle continues to show up. The one I had special connection with and shared reverence, appears when something is in process and follows us across the water.

The animal death discoveries have continued but at a lesser degree, or perhaps my processing their experience has shifted. They’ve now mainly been in bird form, with the addition of a vole, deer, and large fish. The most profound to me was the cormorant I found atop a big rock on the beach a few days ago. I climbed up and discovered, yet again, an absolutely perfect and beautiful cormorant that simply had passed without injury in sight.

I was taken in by his dark beauty that truly glowed, to me, and listened to the nudge to gently push back his wing. There I discovered black scaled legs and webbed feet with talons that immediately spoke to me of dragon’s feet. I was actually quite taken by their appearance and literally took a double take because of how much they resembled those of a dragon. That was especially meaningful to me.

That said, and as you know, there’s continued to be an upswing in departures (many surprising ones) from this Earth plane throughout the world, across all species, and in closer circles to us all – not just what I’m experiencing, although these have been intimate and transformative catalysts for me. Many friends I know have shared of countless losses and in some cases like one especially dear friend, the numbers of losses from two siblings, to a best friend, to siblings of close friends and additional illnesses of more family members that all happened within months just recently for her was astounding. Where some things yearn to birth, others let go to give way for the new.

Even since I started writing this post, a fire broke out on the 6th about 45-50 miles west of Lake Tahoe called the Mosquito Fire that’s putting a lot of communities under evacuation orders, as it initially grew quickly due to conditions. The Tahoe basin and surrounding areas have horrendously bad air quality, depending on the way the wind blows, due to the smoke and ash. And it’s one of many fires, once again, burning across the states. It feels a little like déjà vu with added gratitude for the foresight that gives ability to provide an anchor during the challenging times. Prayers and Reiki support for all who are being affected and experiencing losses. Fires both destroy and give rise to the new. These fires feel to be part of a larger collective transmutation process.

I also just learned of another person in my own life passing, without warning, just four days ago who was part of a major course redirection from my past. Synchronously, he and I had a butterfly connection and this next messenger feels tied in with him.

Swallowtail and downy woodpeckers were messengers on one of the incredible view hikes I posted photos of above.

We stopped to have a picnic lunch at the top and the whole time we feasted, the swallowtail you see in the grass kept us company. She would flutter now and then, but came to rest on the blades of grass, as we were. I now have made the connection my friend was contacting me across the ocean, as he was living on a Costa Rican beach. Then there were the wood peckers. Two of them gathered at this one spot I said looked like faery stools around a tree. They drummed their beats upon those seats, as if inviting us to the gathering. They were not afraid of us and seemed to want our attention. It wasn’t long after that swallowtail came through.

An abundance of banana slugs continue to line the paths of a favorite forest we explore regularly that has truly magickal energy. This last time, every color from shades of brown, green, and yellow, to even a very unique blended one with a single dot on his bum and jaguar markings on his side, all greeted us.

This shapeshifter slug carried a message of integration and the beauty of the in between.

Even a cute pair that was like mom and baby appeared, as you can see in the collage above.

I call them the sentinel slugs and I swear they show up just as we are coming. Dave always lets me go first down this path, as my eyes always spot the tiniest of things. In this way, we avoid hurting anyone silently making their presence known.

In this forest we always hear the strangest, most magickal sounds…like music and odd pitched calls. Recently, from the top of a towering tree, smaller one by three inch fresh pine cones started hurdling down to the ground just a few feet to our left. They looked like ones a squirrel or chipmunk might be prepping for Winter with, but this took place right after I said the way the trees faced the path and us, they looked like they had outstretched arms reaching for us, pointing, standing guard and trying to tell us something. Immediately following, the pine cones came tumbling down. We could not see who was throwing them, as the top was so high and hidden by branches.

We also continue seeing so many snakes. Many times the snakes and slugs will show up on the same path of the forest.

This one below, although appears the same length of any I have posted, was actually only 6 inches long – a baby!

And with lovely reddish orange markings at the side of just her face. I love that we found her on the same path where I discovered the dead snake I buried. Again, reflecting the cycle of energy constantly a part of the ouroboros symbolism. And a few days later we saw another same 6 inched sized baby in the other forest we love, but this time her full body stripes were reddish orange and spoke to me of Autumn vibes.

The morning before seeing the second baby snake I saw this rabbit just downstairs across from where our car is parked. A much larger wild rabbit that reminded me so much of Astrid in her presence, look, and bodily demeanor.

Pure magick it was to know this one is just outside of where we’re staying. She didn’t seem scared by my coming closer either, reminding me a bit of Frith back home whom I miss.

And then there were these cinnabar (striped) moth caterpillars we stumbled upon after seeing several golden fuzzy cuties, also reflecting Autumn glows upon us.

We actually found a bunch of yanked out plants along the path that we believe were laid there by a hunter we came across to mark his routes taken through the forest. He didn’t pay attention to the fact some of the plants had all these little caterpillars on them, readying to cocoon. So, once again, we picked the plants up with caterpillars and placed them back into the thick brush so that they’d be safe and could relocate if needed instead of being exposed on the clear rock path. The caterpillars speak to the value of presence, awareness, and patience needed right now, while metamorphosis is at hand. Things are not what they seem.

On our way to this fav forest hike we also came across a magickal little painted rock garden in front of a house. What a joy to see the 50 plus rocks painted so beautifully with much attention to detail and infused with a lot of love. I could feel how the artist intended these to touch the hearts of anyone who walks by, and also was a way to place her own love and creative power out into the world. I was especially moved to see that so many of the rocks had very specific animal spirits and symbolism that were directly connected to me. I photographed these ones to share.

And speaking of beautiful finds, I’m in awe of the crystalline discoveries showing up on my path. Agates, quartz, zeolite, jasper, opal and moonstone-like treasures, and more. I took this photo of some of them to share with a fellow rock hound.

And the very next day I had doubled that with this treasure collection below.

These are just some of the treasures I’m so grateful to have infusing my life right now. Every time I find something it’s connected to a direct thought and intention I put out. It’s also a direct answer, as I’ll share shortly.

Before I do that, I just wanted to add how much the harbor seals, sealions, and herons have been some of the animal messenger standouts to my experiences here. I’ve already shared about the dead and dying sealion exchanges, as well as some images and videos of harbor seals surrounding our kayak. We’re blessed to have a large colony of harbor seals just a few minutes walk from our place, enabling us to see them swimming, bobbing up and down from our window, and resting on the low tide-exposed beaches as we go by. It’s a favorite thing of mine to kayak by them when all elements of tide and wind are in perfect alignment.

I’ve been able connect with the great blue herons in a deeper way than ever, as so many are around us here daily and call out to my soul. Every early morning, there’s one particular heron that I connect with outside the window who comes to feed each day. I am so drawn in by his presence and very deliberate, precise movements. I’m coming to understand their ways and behaviors even more. I’ve now added them to moose as being spirit animals I identify and resonate with walking through life as.

I love how they fly by our window, feed, and hang out below so I can view them daily. They also fly over us, call out with their very distinct screeching mix of croak and roar that sound like a pterodactyl, and stand in stealth serenity.

Twice we’ve seen a great blue heron with a great white egret hanging out near each other and then flying off together. That’s been especially beautiful.

We witnessed a seagull trying to dive bomb a great blue heron, not happy she was on the beach. The great blue firmly stood her centered ground, retracted and snapped her long neck like a boomerang with croaking roars at the seagull, establishing she would not be unhinged by his squawking desire to take over the whole beach for himself. Eventually the seagull gave up and planted himself a little way down on the sand and the two shared the beach without ownership.

One of the days we kayaked by the harbor seal colony, I captured the following photos.

I only have my cell camera on hand these days, as I like its convenience versus my more elaborate and bulky camera, although the lens on that one would produce much more incredible images.

I still think these came out great, showcasing the quality of their eyes and souls as I feel them….hauntingly penetrating and otherworldly.

Being so intimately involved in the seals and sealions lives, as well, has been a huge connective dot and reflection for me too. It’s sweet also because one of the many animals Astrid reminds me of is a seal. I always call her my little harp seal, as her coat, body, thumpers and way she lays looks just like all of these beauties on the beach.

The harbor seals with their lighter, spotted coats and huge, dark star-gazing eyes are breathtaking and mystical. They truly glow like beings from another planet.

Even Dave, on his own, mentioned how he was most taken by their eyes, which feel like extraterrestrial beings gazing at us with inquisitive and compassionate looks that hit you to the bone.

Some of the seals were profound standouts that spoke volumes to my star soul – more than meets the eye – as we rolled softly past on our kayak.

Can you feel which ones I’m referring to?

I came here receiving orcas call, and discovered how they were the ambassadors for all of these other sea creatures I was to engage with since I have strong connection to them, although the cetaceans are speaking through the crystalline channels strong and clear while being here too. As I just wrote that, I looked out the window and saw this incredible wave that came up through the surface like no wave I’ve seen, and looked just like a breeching whale. I’m told more is upcoming through some channeling.

Every being I experience, adds their ingredients to the pot of transmutation at hand.

And that leads me to the treasures I mentioned coming through as a direct, manifested answer, along with the 9/3 extraordinary shift I experienced, as part of that transmutational alchemy.

On that day, now a week ago, my pilgrimage as spirit in body went through another profound turn in the road. I’m sharing as part of my own contributions to the layered ways we weave energies. I’m going to summarize things, as the details are personal.

We were biking our favorite 12 mile stretch of beach at low tide and on this day I was called to do some intentional processing while I journeyed along. I prefer to do things like this while I’m out engaged in nature exercise, as it feels the most natural and powerful to me for moving energy. Organic processes are my go-to and this is what I call my walking meditation.

Anyway, on this day I had a particular theme come up that felt exceptionally important to move, as it not only was a lifelong energy I’ve dealt with, but is tied into some of the big stuff on the collective scene. So, while I biked I went through my processes in a natural, self-dialoguing way that took me through revisiting things from where I am now. I moved through the layers fluidly, as I pedaled along and the water moved in and out along the shoreline. I asked all of the elements and my support guides to assist, and especially worked with water and air since the ocean and wind were my partners on the ride. They were the perfect partners for the process and energy exchange. And with the perfect backdrop without anyone around, I was able to do this out loud, which adds to the potency when speaking it through the throat chakra.

After I felt complete with addressing things in the process I’ve found most efficient that included firm, but loving acknowledgment, embrace, compassionate understanding, and even laughter at the way we all make things so serious and life and death feeling, I then became the great blue heron – firmly, but lovingly standing my centered ground and did something I haven’t in some time, and not in this way.

In my early years I used to have very profound experiences of strongly expressing emotions to the point that anything I felt to the core would instantly manifest some pretty wild things ranging from making myself invisible, shutting down electronics, cutting off telephone lines, rewriting and manifesting realities instantly – both desired and undesired, to igniting earthquakes, winds, and other natural phenomena. The latter is what moved me to make changes, once I understood that responsibility with such direct effect was not a luxury. I actually had one of my hard-to-believe encounters with someone who slipped through the veils many years ago specifically to tell me about this gift and gave me the same message. From then on, I reined in my energy until I knew I could control and focus it better. I dreamed of the day where transmutation would make things possible, but it never seemed to come, or at least not in the way I imagined.

I haven’t fully unleashed my energy until this day of 9/3. After I completed the movement I felt was necessary to my process, I then felt this surge within say it was time.

Because I hadn’t done anything like this in a while I was a bit unsure how it would go, but I just started to release and it escalated from there. What I mean by this is, I literally roared through my throat chakra at depths and decibels that would seem out of character, as well as inhumanly possible. I became the great blue heron and the harbor seal, with both screech and bellow, and more.

It came from every level of myself and it embodied the transmutation of everything I had just processed, while also voiced a deliberate no-more (you shall not pass Gandalf power), every emotion possible (from the deep, painful, and scary to the strong, immense love, and lightning rich), and here-we-go (impetus of new). It held the frequencies of light and dark in the most merged and balanced form I know to date in my experience and became laser focused alchemy.

It increased, as I released, and went on until my breath was completely exhaled. No one was around, so I wasn’t concerned with anyone hearing it, and Dave was far ahead of me on his bike. However, I got a surprise to see Dave’s head whip around, as I completed the sound movement through my throat. This was unfathomable to me, as he was between 50-100 yards ahead, riding beside the ocean waves, with wind rushing through the air, and his ear buds in while listening to music. It confirmed to me what we’re capable of moving through when we fully channel the purity of our power. I waved him on, to let him know all was alright. When I later caught up with him at the end of the ride out one way, I asked why he turned and he told me because he heard something wild and could only think that it came from me and thought maybe I got hurt. Part of me was still amazed that he heard anything.

Once I released it, I felt such a huge shift and release that penetrated the physical. On our return back up the beach, I could feel the depths I reached. My throat, ears, nasal passage, and third eye were all feeling the effects. My nose was even running like the water I was next to, until I blew it. As we biked along, I spoke to the ocean and asked for help with transmuting all that I had released and to assist with manifesting the new from it. Not more than a minute after this, I looked down at the sand and saw something. Dave was ahead of me, but had turned around to see how far back I was at this moment, and saw me turn my bike around to go pick it up. It was the largest agate, to date, that I found. AND, it was in the most “random” of places up high on the dry sand sitting out in the open all by itself.

I instantly got chills, feeling this was a direct answer from the ocean placed there for me to find. This crystalline structure was the embodiment of transmutation manifested that I asked for. An instant reflection that the process had anchored. I will cherish it for sure.

I pedaled as quickly as I could to catch up to Dave and showed him. He was absolutely amazed and said, “Wow, that’s a big one! And so random to find it where you did!”

I felt sense made out of the senseless and sweet tears swell in my eyes with gratitude. Harnessing my inner powers wasn’t something to worry or fear about anymore. I can direct and create with ALL of it and not hold back when it’s needed the most. I knew that what I had focused this energy toward would also experience the manifested effect, even though right now it was not something I could see.

After we returned home, we went for our usual beach walk after linner (our lunch and dinner since we have a lifestyle of intermittent fasting). While we walked, I looked at the dry sand again and saw something hidden in it. I picked it up and was amazed again. The second largest agate was revealed. When I saw what it was and held my hand out to Dave he said, “What the ____?!” He couldn’t believe I found another so “randomly” in the middle of nowhere AND that I even saw it since it was 95% hidden in the sand. You could see that even he was feeling the effects of the impossible, becoming.

This was the second confirmation of change and greater alignment at hand.

And I continued to manifest the “random” out of no where the next day while we hiked through one of the mystery forests, finding agates and quartz on the path there…far away from the ocean. Dave kept being amazed, shaking his head…”I don’t know how you keep doing it” and added, “It’s like the faeries are putting them there for you.” It really felt clear that I was being given all the reinforcement possible to let me know the shift had taken and this was just the start to harnessing my fullness again.

And here are the largest of the crystalline collection cheering me on.

It took five days for the physical shifts to integrate. I felt residual recalibration happening in my throat, ears, and third eye area during that time and has now come to settle into its new frequency.

For what ever its worth, I share this story. In part it’s to support all healers, creatives, visionaries, and harmony weavers who have experienced a shut down of your gifts because of latent fears built up over the ages. I know the experience far too well, and opening this door I feel will help all other doors to continue in the same vein. It’s time to bring your powers forth fully in responsible ways, knowing and intending that you are capable of directing them in the highest of good ways and won’t repeat the past. This is your time and it couldn’t be more needed on Earth right now.

We are being shown just the beginning of what we will be able to tap into and achieve through focused intent, but I know through the personal exchanges I received during my experience, there is huge support for this and huge potential available. It will simply take our courage and trust to know it is possible and it can be done responsibly.

We are becoming aligned and holistic manifestors with ability to navigate, break through, and intentionally and strongly redirect energy, as we experience natural resiliency. You and your gifts are valued and needed in an environment asking for a shift change.

You are a force of nature here to impact the collective with quantum momentum that initiates cosmic transformation. Everything you are shines a light on the crevices, as you attune to the life force around you, channel your energy wisely, and follow the beat that illuminates your heart.

And this happens through being you without conditioned restraint.

As we enter the Pisces Full Moon doorway, the messages woven in this post are what wanted through and I thank you for reading this, if you have, or for simply being here at this time as you are.

I know not everything we each share is understood in the ways they are intended and perhaps, even, it’s challenging to understand each other in general, and yet our hearts can still connect in love and compassion that transcends any illusory boundaries.

I used to dream of the transmutation at hand.

Sending out a dandelion dew wish to your heart, nourished in the flow, expanse, and creative potential of this ocean-essence Moon.