These Are The Times You Forgot You Were Excited For


Once again the great outdoors and our own backyards present us with metaphors for the journey and reflections for how we are navigating our own garden of life.

No matter where you live, the current weather you’re experiencing, and how the season is evolving where you are, you can see what Nature is trying to convey about cycles and process, relative to you and even as a piece of the collective unfolding.

Here, we’re seeing the continued melt-off of snow and warming Spring temperatures, as well as experiencing the beautiful resiliency of Earth’s children rise again.

While there is still quite a bit of snow on the mountains and in neighboring yards where sun exposure, altitude, and snow depth varies, our land and home is nearly Winter complete, with only three very small patches of snow remaining.

The same holds true for lake level areas, giving off Summertime feels and beckoning my toes and body to immerse in the sands, crystalline water, and sunbathing nourishment.

Kayaking, beach days, outdoor events, biking adventures, and long nature hikes here we come!!!

There is sacredness every step of the way.

Yes, even the in between is just as rich as the before and after, and perhaps even more so as it’s there where all of the layers reveal themselves and their perfectly chaotic synergy and harmony.

The unraveling of each thread shows us the value of every part no matter if the color is to our liking or not. You can’t have certain magnificent colors without mixing together others.

As the world rushes at us from all directions and the hidden, repressed, and unacknowledged equally gushes forth, we are seeing the melting snow packs filling creeks, rivers, and lakes with equal force.

All that we’ve held onto tightly with the illusion it provided comfort and security, is making itself known for what it truly is and supporting us into realigning with the truth of our authenticity and the integrity of our hearts.

In this way, what seems to be coming at us, is perhaps in fact being called up by us so that we can finally expand into our fullness and greatest potential yet.

We may still be straddling two worlds and seasons, but nothing can maintain its strength and integrity forever in a state of division without hindering new life from emerging that comes through the unification of surrender.

I finally felt called to get the ball rolling just a bit while Dave is around to help, so that I can then freely handle the rest on my own while he’s away. So we went about clearing the front yard where huge tree branches that looked like mini trees, bunches of medium sized ones, and other debris had been exposed by the melted snow.

This is only the first round of clearing, as there’s a ton of smaller branches and of course mounds of pine needles and brush that I’ll need to clean up, but removing all the larger things really made a difference.

We scoped out the front, side, back, and garden for the really big stuff and hauled them to the front where they’ll eventually be picked up by the fire department who comes and removes and chips things later in the season. The above photo is of the pile so far, which looks far larger in person and includes two giant limbs about 15-20 feet long each.

Dave lopped off the many branches to the large limbs to make them lighter so that we could move them more easily. We also lopped off all the hanging branches from trees and bushes that had been weighed down and broken by Winter’s hold. In this way, lessening their load and freeing them to renew as they see feel fit.

After all of that, we went about propping three of our large pine trees that we planted when we moved in, as the weight of the snow had pushed them on angles – one of them quite severely. With ropes, shared pulling, propping stakes, shoveling and anchoring, we managed to get them secured and straightened.

Next, I gathered debris and broken items – especially from my garden – and cleared all of that. I managed to salvage three garden friend statues with some heavy duty glue, I reanchored, straightened, and propped back up the rest. And while I did that, Dave used the blower and cleared most of the decks and pathways.

It was all reflective of the inner navigation that these days are enriched by – the old, outmoded patterns and ancestral trauma being looked at piece by piece and then cleared, refreshed, and mended with love.

Where lightning strikes, the change doesn’t have to be surprisingly traumatic and continue in the vein of the old in that version of harsh. Lightning can electrify something new into its brightest potential through the surrender and embrace of expansion.

This reminds me of my dearest twin soul in rabbit body, Nestor, who brought all of my dear soul companions in rabbit and tortoise form to me, including the incredible Astrid. And perfectly so does this memory flood through, as on the day I am writing this part it just so happens to be the day of her transition 15 years ago – April 27th. Without going into detail, when she made her transition from this world to the next it was the most impactful and altering moment of my life. She literally let out screams that cut through dimensions and worlds, and made tangible the illusion of separation by this both excruciating and exhilarating sound frequency that made sense of unity within one tone.

Through her death and transition, she taught me more than any years of study or detailed analyzation ever could.

Light carries on.

Transformation puts the illusion of chaos into perspective as brilliance dancing in precision of both a dying and birthing star.

Although our yard and garden looked like chaos struck, when we pull back we can see genius in motion of creating. The “mess” is a canvas of opportunity that deconstructs the old and supports new beauty that salvages the resilient parts into something fresh. It’s an efficient way of helping us to see the value of each piece to the whole and how each piece can be repurposed and alchemized.

Even just with this little bit of cleaning and strengthening, the canvas has room now for creating. In this way also supporting Spring to do her thing.

Fresh perspective transforms what looked like disaster had struck and left a muddy confusion and weight. Standing back, the whole picture becomes explosive opportunity.

Spring cleaning truly does help to shift things in your life…I’m doing tons of it right now, inside and out.

Next up will be some ongoing fence and dripline work. We ordered some fence posts for our smaller, simple one that runs the perimeter between our only neighbor on one side – a fence we as neighbors had newly fixed, together, before the big Winter. The weight of the snow broke about eight of the beams so we’ll redo them this weekend. We also need to fix the inner perimeter of our larger fence to the side yard where the lower pieces of wood across the bottom got yanked off their nails by the snow’s weight as well – that will come later. This is more ornamental and doesn’t affect the integrity of the fence, but still something to fix. I’ll need to check all the driplines to see if any broke and need replacing. I know for sure of one that happened at the end of Autumn and beginning of Winter – I believe a bunny friend might have done some nibbling thinking it was a plant vine (hehe!), but there could be more and that needs handling before we get Summer temperatures heating things up.

We have some time since there’s so much moisture in the ground and we actually have some more coming for a few days next week, too. There’s some rain and snow expected between the 1st and 4th of May. Nothing crazy, but they’re saying rain during the day and snow at night. We’re not expected to get more than an inch of snow accumulation each night where we are and it’s going to melt right away if we do, but that will provide more moisture and extend my ability to get out until the 5th if the forecast is correct.

That feels aligned, however, with some other things that 5/5 rings in for me personally (a special day connected to two of my transitioned powerhouse soul companions – Gaia’s birthday and the day Nestor’s ashes returned home to me), but also since it’s collectively connected with The Scorpio Full Flower Moon Lunar Eclipse of that day too. There’s also a culmination taking place then of something that’s been in the works for a while and will help me to access and maneuver into the next labyrinthian chamber of the creative vortex.

Heading outside on 5/5 makes for great garden clearing and beautifying work time to begin full-on, green-light-go with weather in the low to mid 50’s ongoing for a while, which will be perfect for it. I will be able to complete everything and also add these two small packets of Sierra Wildflower seeds (below) that we were given at the local Earth Day Festival we went to. On the same day, a friend also gifted me the beautiful crystal heart suncatcher you see next to them, with real flowers embedded inside as a belated birthday present…Little did he know I had just admired these creations at the festival right beforehand.

I love how the sun caught the crystal and flashed a different color each time, reflecting the endless creative possibilities when we shift perspective and cast light into the crevices of our hearts.

The days leading up to the upcoming moisture of the beginning of May have been and will be in the mid to upper 60’s – maybe even hitting 70 (beach time!), so Nature is indeed doing the one or two steps back, and the big leaps forward.

Just like all of us.

Everything feels really vibrant, though, and there’s this fresh energy and vitality I can feel even with the garden friend statues that survived. I can “hear” a lot of chatter and the forest and garden animals are mirroring the excitement.

Between birds singing galore – the other day I used my Merlin app (thanks Lynne) that identified six varieties of birds all around me – and chipmunks and squirrels running around like children on a sugar-high, it’s a big party going down indeed. There’s times we’ll see four baby chipmunks zipping about chasing each other and teasing our cats through the glass.

“Ha ha! You can’t catch me!”

They love checking in on Astrid, too, although it’s a different dynamic that is shared of communing and curiosity. See the little one peeking in on the resting and meditative Astrid in her bed?

They are quite fascinated with all that Astrid is up to inside, as she demonstrates a different version of potential that even souls in animal bodies can choose to experience.

There are options that lie beyond the current, defined realms of known existence.

I have yet to see our bunny friends, but boy oh boy are there piles of abundant rabbit pellets (poops) everywhere! Not only is the ground moisture rich, but talk about incredible, natural fertilizer! It’s going to be quite the fertile landscape cycling through this year.

And although I haven’t yet seen the wild rabbits, other than finding that thumper, I DID come eye-to-eye with one of our tree frog friends while I was clearing an area of the side yard.

It’s amazing I even saw him, but there he was peeking out from under a dried leaf (first photo in collage below). He then emerged slowly (second photo) when I spoke to him and I saw how healthy and plump he was (third and fourth photos) before he made his way under a bush again.

Frogs have been coming through quite a bit, as you might remember my frog dream that came around the time of all the “golden” animal dreams:

I then had a dream that I came upon a pond in the snow where many large spotted frogs were swimming and hopping about. One of them hopped into my hand and filled the size of my palm. Frogs, too, symbolize hope, good fortune, renewal, transformation, new beginnings, opportunities, making leaps, and major, personal transformation and life shifts.

Not long after that, two golden citrine frogs found their way to me by wild synchronicity through my magickal friend, Lisa. One was a large one that, of course, perfectly fills the size of my palm. The other was a little one that I knew was meant for Dave and he’s become his lucky charm, bringing him good fortune already.

So, seeing this sweet tree frog in the garden was a wonderful gift and reiteration to me of all that I shared above about their symbolism, the message of the dream frog in my hand, and how that ties into the now unfolding landscape before us.

New beginnings indeed, which our family of crocus are chanting about out front with glee, as well.

Look at the others who have joined – more golden yellow, purples, and some white with purple stripes.

No wonder crocus are known as Easter reflections…they truly are coming up Easter egg colors! And they, like frogs, also symbolize new beginnings alongside luck, prosperity, innocence, joy, immortality, and rebirth.

What a field of dreams our yard is right now with the abundance of new life sprouting EVERYWHERE between the Autumn and Winter shedding!

It feels mirroring of my internal landscape and the fresh new skin the latest layers of peeling have revealed – quite literally!

It’s synchronous that Dave will be away on an extended, very deep and invaluable spiritual journey, returning when Mercury stations direct on the 14th, while I navigate my own pivotal treasure map.

What timing that aligns us both with some truly key destiny-level changes for shared enrichment.

So many layers of evolution are taking place, but all seem to point to simultaneous endings and beginnings.

We are continuing to shed and melt away the cocoons of incubation so we may get a truer sense of what expansion really feels like.

There may yet be more lopping, propping, clearing, and hauling to do before things start to take form and look different, but you can still envision the potential and know within your heart that grace is unfolding.

Art is a beautifully “messy” process, with each layer being integral.

The evolution of a crocus, tadpole, sprout, or garden is evidence of miracles in motion.

No more or less than the miracle of your being alive and reading this right now.

It may feel like sometimes you’re off path, but every step is a bridge to the next.

You can steady your rudder to try and steer things by intent aligning with flow, or you can lift your rudder and glide along and morph with each twist and turn of the wild ride.

Each approach is valid and you may oscillate between them.

You may also bounce back and forth with other processes and therefore find a new way for each experience that presents itself, as you go through your own evolutionary adjustments.

We’re in a time of huge transformation and to find our way is to create our own and write the storyline of our choosing. No more than now is the inner world where you’ll find true power.

There is a lot of power balancing playing out around us, yet when we reclaim the one and true power which is within the vortex of our hearts, we begin to experience the collapse of veils, illusions, and regain a sense of unwavering hope because we step into the miracle of our expansiveness.

Everyone has their own story to write and a different voice in the narrative of each moment because that’s the beauty of creativity.

One of the empowering things we may find helpful is to find ways to build inner strength, as this is invaluable in such volatile and unknown times – times that no one has a clear hold on knowing how it’s going to unfold, not even those who are most psychic. We only know of patterns, possibilities, influences, and potentials, but the collective is in the now, every moment, creating those opportunities for expansion or contraction.

The more we are willing to, or help ourselves get strong enough to, face things, the more we realize the power has always been in our own hands as the multidimensional beings that we are. Our bodies are mirrors of the Multi-verses embodied in tangible, but miraculous forms with impetus of potential within every cell, synapse, fascia, and vibrational frequency.

I also feel that merging more with Nature and the Cosmos helps us to know ourselves and our own divinity, opening powerful doorways to the dimensional labyrinth of incredible impetus within and without.

Every moment and day is providing us pivotal points for cultivating more expansive and conscious choices. And from these choices, leaps in consciousness are happening and will continue to. I feel we underestimate the a-ha moments in place of immediate physical gratification from specific manifested results we feel we need.

In any way we can invite in more expansion, I feel we will experience significant shifts in our lives. And this includes the capacity of our hearts being stretched to love more, too. The power of perspective is potent.

Endings and closure through shedding and vulnerable reflection is what I continue to welcome. There’s a definite synergy of experience between greater love and peace taking place in conjunction with strengthening boundaries and shutting doors. They needn’t be exclusive. They demonstrate unity is a simultaneous experience.

Like many of you, there are times when I’ve felt done with it all, but then I’m reminded that thoughts like that stem from an idea I’ve been conditioned to adopt and no longer need to feed.

I get over it rather quickly when I lean into the lightness of it all and how I feel it really is one big playground for creative energy experimentation, immersive experiencing, and resilient expansion.

There are times I can feel things rising to the surface and heating up, but it’s then that I understand myself to be a metalsmith and that even the toughest metal materials/experiences can be annealed – the process of heating metal and then allowing it to cool slowly, in order to remove internal stresses so that it’s easier to shape, bend and reform that involves changing the physical and sometimes chemical properties so it’s more workable. 

Indeed we are activating realization of our inner alchemist. It’s part of every experience we have, but don’t acknowledge the incredible power we engage in what seem like the tiniest and most simple of daily actions.

One step back, two steps forward. Three steps back, one leap forward.

The Aquarian Age is seeding its habitation into our lives.

This time period is one many of us have been anticipating and excitedly entered this realm for, long before we forgot why – such a fertile realm of potential.

With Jupiter and Venus in Aquarius, I recall how my experiences and expressions didn’t fit any template and that cut both ways in terms of not being met with understanding ears or being considered oddly charming, but naïve. The way I knew in my heart never felt relevant as I was growing up and learning how to navigate life. Time (at least as we learned to experience it) and Tania were on different pages of the story. I have a feeling many of you can relate.

Coupled with other personal astrological placements, I was seen as an idealistic and dreamy soul, while in fact it was the visionary in me with a strong fiery and relentless thrust that kept sticking my heart and imagination out there and has continued chipping away at architectural plans for new channels of creation.

Raven symbolizes the void – the mystery of that which is not yet formed.

Divine perfection finding these feathers…

I feel liberated in these times…the massive influx of potent Cosmic energies streaming through and the whirlwind of changes unleashing day-to-day, all feel more reflective of the rapid way in which I experience things, and also the woven synergy of what may otherwise be deemed as dichotomies.

It may yet seem far away that our visions of what could be take form, but remember that the possibility is only there because it is already being written by another version of you in a timeless space you have yet to acknowledge.

We meet upon the void of creation when we engage the imagination of our hearts….it is then that the doorways open and the curtains fall to limitless directions.

The Great Mystery is and has always been you.

I will be in garden, creation, channeling, and unearthing mode for the next couple of weeks so who knows what may come through to share with you.

Until then, Astrid and I wanted to update you on the last seven crystals we were guided to offer.

There is just one remaining crystal skull being awaiting her heart home and she and Astrid asked that I share some additional insights and peeks because of who they feel is connecting with her.

You can find all of the additional photos and information at the link below about her, but here is a snippet of that:

Since first sharing this amazing being, both she and Astrid wanted us to add additional insights about her energy and some other window portals into her essence to help you “see” her. So we’ve added that info below and you’ve likely found the new photos above – some of her out with our beloved crocus, as she’s such a Nature weaver – some with Astrid, as she’s both strong and sweet like her and because they share a connection. You can see that in how Astrid nudges her with love, how joyous they are in each other’s presence, and you can also see that in the rabbit being that sits upon her crown.

And if you’ve been on the fence about any other crystal being cocreator, please don’t hesitate to reach out with questions. We did not add anything new to the others, but their energy is very now-relevant.

Creations & Crystals Closet

May all possibilities be open to you.

About Tania Marie's Blog

Creating life as a work of art with a magick rabbit by my side. I remember my song. Do you? Artist, Author and Reiki Master Teacher with over 30 years' experience in creative healing arts and metaphysical studies. Tania inspires people globally to return to natural harmony, draw forth imagination to manifest dreams, embody creative empowerment, and live more magickally and abundantly from their most natural frequency – in essence, Tania helps you to remember your song.

Posted on April 29, 2023, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. “There is sacredness every step of the way.”

    “Light carries on.”

    This entire post is so very beautiful.  What a nice Saturday inbox gift.  Thank you. Julie

  2. Awww, sweet Nestie! I remember that time well. Big hugs. That was, indeed, the pivotal moment for so many future things. Much love!

  3. Desiree Bergeron

    This is all too beautiful!! What a perfectly perfect way to start my day this morning!!! 💞 I soaked it up into my heart and soul every single word, picture, and all the energies behind them. Reading of your sweet Nestor and your experience with her transition brought me to tears~but I also had knowing smiles on my face. I thank you dearly for this amazing post! Soooooo much support encoded within that made my heart and soul dance with joy, and so many themes echoing reflections of my current experiences!! I LOVE YOUS!!!!! 🌟🌟🧚🏻‍♀️xx

    • I was so happy to see your comment here this morning knowing all the movement you’re doing. I knew you would receive and feel between the lines into the frequencies. Yay!! And thank you for your words about Nestor. It will always be the most profound experience for me. I love you too! 💖💫🌸

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