A SELECTION OF TRUE AWAKENING STORIES… PART III
I recently mentioned that I would be sharing my personal contribution to Barbara Franken’s October Challenge…A Selection of True Awakening Stories Part III and so it is that I’m sitting down and digging deep to bring forth what my heart has to say. The focus is to share where I find myself on this “Ascension” journey and any insights I’ve gleaned since writing my last reflection. It could also simply be anything that feels most authentic to impart when I look within at this now moment. Barbara will be creating a free e-book for others, upon completion of all shares from contributors this month. So if you don’t follow her blog and have missed others’ stories, you can catch them that way too.
To recap, this was the post I shared on February 25, 2016 – the day before my 43rd birthday for my sweet friend Barbara Franken of Me, My Magnificent Self:
A Selection of True Awakening Experiences Part II
It included my Awakening Experience and Where I Am Now, at the time of the post.
For that reason, I’ll only be sharing about Where I Am Now, but first let me just preface a few changes that have taken place before I get into more of the deeper stuff.
This time I find myself writing on October 22nd, 2018, which happens to be the 10th anniversary between my partner and I, just 4 months before my 46th birthday. And since that post our little family of animal companions has transformed – still the same two cats (Boojum and Sweet Pea), but with a new rabbit, Astrid, after saying goodbye to our bunny loves, Joy and Cosmo, during our Magick Bus journey. In fact, the last time I shared, we were living in the RV and had just started our one-and-a-half-year, grand adventure.
I didn’t know then how truly transformative that decision would be, but it is one of the best and most profound things I’ve done. I’ll share more on that in the Where I Am Now portion, but since the last share we’ve settled back down in Lake Tahoe, Nevada in a dream home we renovated that sits on the National Forest. We call it the Forest Portal.
And it is from the Forest Portal that I now begin again.
Where I Am Now:
I don’t speak that often about what led to our full-time living in our Magick Bus RV, but in a nutshell it has to do exactly with what Barbara’s theme of this blog series is about. Life as we’d known it was empty, or rather, had no where else to go in the vein that we were. And for me, personally, life as I’d known it until then had come to closure and truly if it weren’t for that adventure we jumped with full trust into, and for a sweet special needs bunny named, Cosmo, I wouldn’t still be here. I like to say they both saved me and choosing to see where things would lead, saw me to where I am now. This all hit me very fast during the year after we returned from an immersion in Alaska, where everything I knew about myself shattered and washed clear away. After that trip, I spent the full year before our RV adventure, in deep reflection and received many messages, dream visitations, and signs that I had the option to stay or return back to the Cosmos from which I came. This, simply through a soul release.
It may sound dark or ominous, but I assure you it was in full peace and clear confirmation of contracts complete over the ages. (I am smiling as the clock says 11:11 as I wrote that).
I reviewed and I delved, and the choice weighed heavily on my heart. In the end, I chose to explore a new possibility, to be open to potentials that might recreate things for me here on Earth, and to see if any of it called enough to my heart to make me want to stay.
And off on the Magick Bus we went.
During that time I immersed fully into Nature and loved every rich moment of it, as I sank my teeth deeper into the marrow of what life truly is about here. I came to know myself in a way that I hadn’t yet, free of definitions and all titles or roles preceding lifetimes had cast me in.
And most importantly I found my own elixir of life that was rooted in merging Earth and Cosmos and bringing these aspects of myself into harmony. I grounded and embodied more than I ever had, but I also brought through the physical, the most Cosmic part of myself that I ever had. A new dance began where each became blurred and natural alchemy was at work.
Ultimately, I melted into peace and my rabbit companions reminded me what was most important to me by expanding my heart tenfold – think the Grinch in that scene where his heart grows three sizes and he comes to know the true meaning of Christmas – in my case, I discovered my true meaning of being.
Perhaps some of you have experienced your own version of renewal, rebirth, a walk-in, or a whole new incarnation. I believe Barbara mentioned in her share feeling she would live two incarnations in her life and that a new way of living from her heart in harmony would emerge. Although I didn’t have that same thought, I resonate and mirror her feelings and now am experiencing the new embodiment of what this is like.
The me that I knew literally died one day on a river and who emerged from those waters and the thick of the wild, was someone altogether new – although the most familiar and most me.
Since then that “most me” has been emerging like a snake from its skin…a caterpillar from its cocoon…and it’s so fresh and freeing – full of any and all multi-possibilities.
In reflection, not only have I been having so many dreams of me birthing, but snake dreams and physical encounters with them have been prolific – in fact just last night a giant blue snake was gently moving all around me.
And this is where what some call “ascension” comes to mean, for me, liberation…expansion…a return to natural harmony…remembrance of my song.
It’s not a ladder of growth or a measurement of higher or better, but rather feels like multi-dimensional rooms to a Cosmic mansion folding in on itself over and over and then emerging over and over, creating a tapestry of inter-connected limitlessness, with me at the core of that tapestry.
Or simply put, it’s Cosmic love flowing through my heart’s creative expression.
What this looks and feels like for me now has involved complete dropping away of all that I’ve known, which included walking away from the work I have been doing up until now in order to follow what inspires me the most – surrendering to my heart’s greatest joy alone and knowing that is the best gift and natural extension of what I have to share with the collective (in fact I’ve dropped the word “service” as it carries for me the seeds of enslavement unconsciously within our DNA) – living from a place of harmony, balance, and surrender – trusting every step of the way without need to know anything and not looking to others for answers – and choosing every moment from love and what invigorates my heart the most.
In the physical sense, it led us back to our beloved home in Lake Tahoe, which at this time in our lives feels most nurturing for all that we are birthing. It’s renewed my relationship with Nature in a deeper way than ever. It’s surrounded me with everything I love and that mirrors the child within. It’s reminded me of what is most important to me and brought me full circle to my love for rabbits and how they are my everything. It brought my new magick rabbit, Astrid, into my life. It’s inspired a story to write that began with the Magick Bus journey – the book I’m working on and feels to be my baby birthing from this new life springing forth from within. And it’s seeded a new tree of life from my core, full of creative visions yet to come.
I have no attachment to how things need to unfold. I just keep following my heart’s guidance and know it will always steer me harmoniously.
I have no fear of physical death since it has no meaning to the limitless me other than a creative process. I live as fully as possible every day and keep deepening in gratitude and invigoration of what this Earth experience has to offer. It is but a blip in our multi-dimensionality and yet it can be lived as a work of art if we choose to experience it that way.
I live from a more multi-dimensional experience and bring through all parts of me to engage life, as well as open to as many possibilities without fixating on any one thing.
I let things flow through me from all parts of experience when they come up and then I watch them dissipate back into their color on the canvas I’m painting.
I walk in a realm where potential is fertile, hope fuels my wings, belief is my fertilizer, creativity lights the way, and peace is my companion. I don’t see sides…I only see experience unfolding like Nature’s seasons and cycles within the Great Mystery.
To some I may seem naive or The Fool. I’ve always had a thing for The Fool in Tarot. Depends on your perspective, doesn’t it?
And yet this is all both very new and yet like “a remembering” all at once.
So it’s somewhat like beginning again, learning along the way with only “doing” as my guide, exploring the possibilities, and feeling mystified by every encounter and experience as if it’s the first.
I am not yet the butterfly, but rather feel like the cocoon has just opened a small hole at its end where light is gently streaming upon my stirring head, my eyes slowly opening for the first time, and I’m feeling the miracle and excitement of this new form I find myself in.
Golden embryonic fluid, warmed by that light, is beginning to drip away.
And all possibilities are open to me.
I don’t know if Barbara has updated the list of contributors yet, but last I looked I found it interesting that the first 15 days were full and the last week of October were full. But the 4 days before my day and the 2 days after, were still open. So, the next share may not be until October 25th by Michael. You can check out the first link of this post to catch all of the previous shares and upcoming ones. In any event, thank you so much Barbara and to everyone for sharing from their heart. And thank you for stopping by and listening to my story. Perhaps you might find a little bit of you in all of the shares.
Posted on October 22, 2018, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.
What a beautiful story and post Tania. I admire you living this way, so open to life and what wants to emerge. I lived that way for a few years in my 30s, but seem to have lost the faith and innocence over the years and challenges of life. May your heart continue to blossom and shine.
I so appreciate your message Brad!! Thank you ❤ It's definitely been an uphill journey to get to this place of greatest peace and not without turbulent waters. So, I can relate to how challenges can shift things for sure. I do also believe they can shift again and will. From the things I see you write and share, I feel you are retrieving those parts again too. I am happy I chose a new way of living, as it has made all the difference. Thank you for the wishes…I am open to what else shows up and know this is just the beginning of possibilities. Big hugs and love!
Kudos Tania. I hope you thrive and shine for others.
Thanks Tania for sharing your beautiful story. It is truly inspirational and emotionally authentic.
Please consider joining my blogging challenge starting in November. Your voice is uniquely glorious and I welcome its inclusion in my project on Divine Mission for this incarnation.
I so appreciate your words Linda! Thank you for stopping by and reading my reflections on how things have been shifting here with me. I would love to be a part of your challenge…Could I do so on 11/11? ❤
Hi Tania, Your life is such an inspiration and I so enjoyed hearing more of your story. Yes, you can post on the date 11-11 ! 🙂 I am so happy that you will be joining us.
you’re so sweet! ❤ that's wonderful! thank you again for the invite linda. love, hugs, and blessings to you!!
big hug, can you feel it??? ❤
mmmhmmmm!! ❤ ❤ ❤
Dear Tania, I always love reading your posts. Though we appear so different on the surface in so many ways, we share many of the same perspectives, and that is incredibly refreshing in a world that never seems to “get” me. I am so grateful I have a partner who truly understands me in my sweet, fierce husband, and now, it seems another voice rises up in harmony with my own experience. Thank you for sharing, and for encouraging others to share. So much love to you, and happiest of Happy Anniversaries to you and Dave ❤
aw this is such a sweet message linette ❤ thank you SO much for sharing this. means a lot to me. i completely understand how special it is to know that our experiences aren't isolated to ourselves and i do agree that the more we share with others, the more we discover these connective threads. thank you for the beautiful wishes and love!!! feeling the warmth in my heart and sending love right back at ya!! ❤ big warm hugs!!! i'm so excited we'll both be sharing in Linda's blog share. another good challenge it will be! xoox
Feeling the hugs ❤ I'm excited, too!
weeeeeeee! ❤ ❤ ❤
Ah Tania, so loved reading your story, your adventure… that reminded me of the time I first moved to Spain spending quiet time with myself that opened up new depths of myself… with the help of 9 nature elemental I perceived along the way. AND brings us to a place of new beginnings and creating in freedom from the heart. I also resonate with the feeling of light slowly but surely dissolving the cocoon for the butterfly to fully energy… the rebirth complete and magic to just happen being our delightful selves! Thankyou so much for your precious words of magic and wisdom that inspires us all to journey further. Much love Barbara x
aw you’re so welcome barbara, and thank you for your sweet words of support, the beautiful and synchronous reflections, and for inviting us all on this journey. so grateful that we can all share the myriad of ways the journey makes possible. every story so unique and yet connected. different ways and perspectives of experience and yet a shared collective. love and warm hugs xoox
Dear Tania, so loved reading your story, and to break free to Live your dream, it’s something many wish to do, yet never do.
I think when we commune with nature as closely as you have done, it empowers us as we become more mindful and respectful of all life.
I loved this piece you wrote
“I walk in a realm where potential is fertile, hope fuels my wings, belief is my fertilizer, creativity lights the way, and peace is my companion. I don’t see sides…I only see experience unfolding like Nature’s seasons and cycles within the Great Mystery.”
Just a beautiful insightful read Tania, And to now be surrounded by your Forest Portal… Just wonderful…
Wishing you continued Joy … As you can only rise higher…
Love and Blessings
oh thank you SO much Sue!! i really appreciate all that you shared here. there is definitely something very enriching and deepening about immersing fully into nature. everything becomes so much clearer without all the noise and presence an ever-faithful friend that steers you in perfect alignment.
thank you for your sweet reflections and shared joy. it warms my heart ❤
so much love, peace, blessings, and warmest hugs to you. there is so much available to us – it's incredible! thank you for being a part of this experience and for shining your light
Thank YOU Tania, this journey IS incredible.. and may we all keep uniting our lights through love.. Love and Blessings.. ❤
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