Things You Don’t Know About Me ~ Finding Purpose in Being
I mentioned to my Facebook friends who were interested that I would share a bit about my journey around purpose and the way that’s evolved through the various forms of work I’ve explored. Like many of you who feel confused or even tormented by this idea of purpose and life path, or who have been searching endlessly to find that cosmic answer that hits you over the head with clarity, I’ve been right there with you in what seemed like endless cycles of searching. But searching keeps us wanting more, whereas presence and listening will bring us home.
The concept of life purpose is a tricky one, as I do believe we each have something unique and perhaps key to our evolution that we choose to come into form to express and further our creative evolution. However, I feel that this dimension can tweak things in a way that makes us want to finite how that expression could be experienced, since we live in a way that wants definitive answers and ultimate results. Beyond this realm we simply have an essence that propels us and here that turns into a drive.
Perhaps that drive plays into some of why we feel confusion, as we try to squeeze our uniqueness into categories, funnel what could be flowing and amorphous, and then condition one another to do the same once that becomes a collective agreement as to the way things should be done. We buy into what success means and ultimately what that needs to look like. We even buy into what happiness is and disregard what makes US feel good.
The concept of life purpose and all the hype around it is a culprit to this in saying that you have this one absolute mission and you must hone in on that now, although I’m not knocking any of the support out there in wanting to help with this. I think explorations into your feelings, passions, unhealthy patterns, and things that make you tick are very helpful, but to limit all of that into a specific feels counterproductive to creative life force energy that looks for any channel of expression. It simply wants out. Doesn’t care how, but if it doesn’t get out that’s where we create challenges.
There doesn’t feel to be one answer in how you live who you are. How incredibly limiting to a limitless being that would be if you had only one choice and then were made to feel wrong or guilty if you don’t do it right. Where’s the purpose in that? We forget our song when we come into birth, so each little tickle to your heart is a way of remembering.
Purpose feels to be about what moves you and what you do that gives your life meaning, value, and enrichment to yourself and others. It’s about how you spend your time well, what feeds you, and feels important. And this can take varying forms of applying the unique gifts and qualities you have in perhaps one, but likely several varying ways that provide these things. And these can evolve over time along with you. It can be through an actual job/work, in your family and personal life, through volunteer work, passions and side projects, or all of these.
It can be how you do you as well as you can in every waking moment of life and in every encounter, experience, choice, action, expression, and connection you make.
Look at what you’re willing to put in as effort, as everything will take effort of some sort no matter if you love it or not. To say your purpose just happens is false. You have to make the choice and follow through. Although when you align yourself with what naturally feels good, it is easier since you aren’t using energy to balance out things. Yet, every day and moment is a choice and while alignment does create greater flow and opportunities, you still have to take action or do the work. Purpose doesn’t hand things on a silver platter. It’s rising to the occasion of what calls to you.
If painting calls to you, you still have to paint.
If making music calls, you still have to practice your instrument, write the music, and perform.
If it’s writing, well you have to write.
If it’s being a doctor, you’ll still have to get your degree and show up every day at your best.
If it’s being a receptionist, you’ll have to take that job interview and express your personality and social skills with every person you interface with.
If it’s being a mom or dad, you still have to show up and be ready to challenge yourself to love more unconditionally each day.
And guess what? You might do all of these, but you’ll still have to create the time, commit to each expression, and choose to be present with how they all want to channel through you in your own unique way. That’s the beauty of it. You can find your own way of satisfying how you spend your time well – your purpose.
If you look at the things that come naturally to you, that make you smile in your heart, feel good, and are what you loved as a child, let that be your gauge and guiding force without trying to figure out how that needs to look or compare it to what everyone else around you is doing or how they are labeling things, not pressure yourself to hurry up or belittle yourself that you’re so far behind and should be further by now. According to what? That’s an answer you give yourself if you aren’t being present with each moment.
You have to be willing to be more vulnerable and not care what others think, pay attention to the times you get lost in something and lose track of time – which indicates being in the zone, ask yourself what you’re passionate about and how in any way that is part of your life or can be incorporated – not only as a “job” – and then understand that action creates momentum and fuels passion.
That all said, it’s not necessarily that the job you’re doing is wrong, but perhaps it’s an unhealthy work environment, or your approach, judgments, and process of handling it aren’t healthy, you’re out of alignment with your perspective and response to things, your life isn’t balanced so triggers are being created, you aren’t embracing and being grateful for the aspects of the work you do that you shine in and enjoy, you aren’t engaging your passions in some way, which would then make your life more meaningful and fulfilling no matter where you find yourself.
Chances are, what ever work you’re currently doing, you do have a propensity for it and skills, or there are elements to it that you truly do enjoy and shine in. Perhaps it’s the part of you that knows how to motivate a team towards goals, your ability to listen and problem solve, a joy for numbers and details, you’re a great organizer, an awesome leader, have exceptional customer service skills, love interfacing with people, really enjoy the innovative aspects you get to incorporate in idea exploration, you’re incredible with your hands, love building things, are amazing at comforting others, etc.
So, yes, not all of your job might be fun, but those parts are where you excel and get lost. Focus there. And if you need to express other gifts and passions, see how either you can incorporate them or are overlooking them, or can do them in another way in your life. I guarantee when you do these things you will be in the flow and more choices will show up and you’ll know exactly what to choose or do next because you aren’t waiting to have that one thing happen to you. You are engaging your essence now and that creates alignment in any situation you’re in or for new ones to present themselves in form or idea to take action on next. It’s a step-by-step process, but can be fulfilling in each moment if you are being present and creating a balanced way of approaching and expressing your life.
Be mindful if you’re in an unhealthy situation, but weed out everything before saying you’re simply not doing your purpose. There’s likely a lot you’re overlooking because you’e caught up in an idea and also being bombarded by confusing signals you haven’t taken reign of yet. There may be skills you can utilize to make it better or right. You may need to just respect yourself more or stand up to something. You maybe just need to switch companies, rather than the job itself. In some cases you might want to shift gears of how you express that gift and go a completely different direction, but in the meantime, make the most of what you have, as you don’t have to suffer while making that shift. And if you take the actions within your job now, you’ll find how that creates opportunities and openings, not to mention greater peace and fulfillment immediately.
Recently I was triggered to review all the different things I’ve done and explored on my journey of work/life path that a lot of people don’t realize I’ve done, as they only see me now. This is likely the case for many of you and this is what prompted sharing a more revealing insight on my journey, including that spectrum I went through and what I’ve discovered about purpose and alignment for myself, which could be helpful in some way for you.
I thought I would list out everything that I could remember having explored, placing them in categories so that not only would you see what I actually did, but seriously took steps toward and spent time feeling out. All of this was in effort to “find myself” and my “purpose.” I likely at the time appeared to be scattered, fickle, non-committal, foolish, or even crazy. Yet, it’s in the journey of all of this that I’ve been able to finally find peace and see it from a bigger picture perspective I couldn’t see then while caught up in it all.
And while some of these things will seem so opposite or odd in terms of what I do now, I can say with all honesty that any of these things could easily have been continued, if I knew then, what I know now, as each of them DID in fact express some of the gifts and things I enjoyed and excelled in. Some, even, were already tapping into my North Node in Capricorn, which is a focus now for me, as our North Nodes do speak to that infamous “life purpose.” In fact, I was on that path immediately when I was a junior in high school getting accepted already into FIDM with this drive of wanting to get on with life already and out of school because I had a vision of my career. Choices, however, created a detour to unfold each petal for greater understanding of this whole picture playing out.
It was all a journey of learning, but truly the reasons at the heart of why I left these positions or didn’t pursue them was because of my unhealthy approach to the jobs – as in I didn’t have balance in my life and was an extremist at the time so I overworked myself to the point of burn out and didn’t have boundaries resulting in affecting my health and well being. I didn’t know how to speak up for myself, I was afraid to make the wrong decision in terms of choosing the wrong life path (not understanding how a choice simply would lead to more choices just on a different trajectory), I was put off by the processes and commitment I had to make to it, I hadn’t worked through some of my fears and didn’t see these as opportunities at the time like I did later, and the list goes on.
Yet ALL of these things I DID enjoy on some level when I allowed myself to just be in that moment of the aspects that I got lost in and made me shine.
Here is the list I came up with.
Jobs I Had:
- Hostess at a Restaurant – twice (First at Olive Garden when I was 16 and later at Il Fornaio becoming a lead hostess)
- Claims Processor & Promoted to Small Claims Medical Examiner – Worker’s Compensation Insurance
- Loss Control Secretary – Overseeing 5 Field Reps in Worker’s Compensation Insurance (Different company than above jobs)
- Makeup Artist – Department store makeup lines
- Receptionist/Secretary/Personal Assistant/Asst. Office Manager – Investment Firm
- Custom Art Business – Paintings/Murals/Logos/Faux Painting/Art & Writing for a start-up Children’s Show (my first entrepreneurial business)
- Modeling/Extra Work – Fashion shows/Promo Modeling/Ads/Videos/Dance Shows – here’s my blog post on that: Discovering My “Harmony Zone” of Health & Vitality
- Photographer’s Assistant – Worked with a school photographer setting up equipment, the space & handling/organizing kids Kindergarten – High School
- Reiki Master Teacher – Offered sessions & training
- Tarot & Animal Readings
- Author – Wrote & self-published a book – working on a second
- Sacred Tattoo Designer
- Artist – Custom and original work
- Crystal Jewelry & Healing Tools Creator
- Retreat Leader
- Workshop Teacher
- Sound Healer
- Procured & Sold Crystals
- Intuitive Guidance Coach
- Currently manage rental properties
Degrees/Training/Certifications I Got:
- AA in Merchandise Marketing
- Medical Billing Certification
- Makeup Artist Certification
- Acting Classes
- Reiki Master Teacher Certification
- Metaphysical Training
Promotions/Job Offers/Opportunities I Rejected After Interviewing For:
- Claims Examiner – Worker’s Compensation Insurance
- Jewelry Designer for a Jewelry Shop
- Flight Attendant School
- Jobs in Women’s Retail Clothing
- Art Teacher through an Art School
Paths I Seriously Considered/Took Steps Toward/Spent Time Exploring & Feeling Into:
- Fashion Designer – was my first passion before I settled on Merchandise Marketing
- Buyer for Department Store/Fashion Coordinator
- Personal Trainer
- Horse Assistant at Ranch
- Custom Meal Service/Catering
- Cleaning Business
- Personal Assistant
- Retreat Center – Almost bought land & started
- Animal Acupuncturist – Specializing in rabbits
- Rabbit Rescue
I’m not sure if I’m missing anything else, but I think this gives you enough of an idea of how varied and extensive my explorations were and how much I was searching for things right under my nose. In some way, I utilize all of these skills and gifts still to this day in my work and personal life. They just have translated differently based on the new choices I’m making and aligning with in each moment.
Again, truly any of these things, if approached with a healthy perspective, could have been more than what they turned out to be. And yet, they still all DID help me to learn about myself and the things I enjoyed and excelled in.
It’s only now that I have learned about and created balance in my life, that I can see it all for what it is and understand how each piece spoke to a part of me and can even be traced to my Astrological placements and the skills I came into this life with that can be utilized in productive or nonproductive ways depending on my perspective.
There is opportunity in every moment to be living your “purpose.” It’s up to you how you choose to express that, but know that in fact there is no one right way.
At the end of the day or the end of your life, the question to ask yourself is, did I live my life well?