How many of you, due to your ultra-sensitivities and ability to only see the good in others, have gotten into some pretty challenged friendships and relationships where you have felt the complete opposite of the love and generosity you started out feeling, and were left with anger, resentment, depletion, defeat, and hopelessness instead?
It’s hard for those of you who love so much to watch people go through things they do and not want to help and nurture them. But we know, at least mentally, that we need to look instead at where WE may not be loving and nurturing ourselves, as well as realize we have no responsibility for another person not doing the same for themselves.
If we redirect that energy into standing in our wholeness, this is the greatest gift we can give to another. And by fueling that love into productive channels of expression and service, where our energy and love is not in vain, we will be supporting the greater good.
Unconditional love is loving people exactly where they are on their path and allowing them the responsibility and freedom to choose their own journey. And we, too, have the ability to responsibly and freely choose ours as well.
We think, as loving and compassionate souls, that boundaries seem contradictory to the spiritual teachings and unity consciousness we have come to embrace. And yet, healthy boundaries are necessary to cultivate our wholeness in the name of unconditional love and compassion. This teaches the greatest lessons of walking in the light of our purity so that we can be true beacons of light for others, simply by example.
This is a great article by Deborah Ward about highly sensitive people and the unhealthy relationship co-dependency that frequently develops from that sensitivity. Deborah helps to shed light on the energetic dynamics that create these entanglements.
I know that I’ve gone through this pattern in my past, and what she says is what I came to learn over time, as I looked at the “root” of this pattern and the underlying message the imbalanced connections were teaching me.
I see this pattern a lot in others too, as a recurring theme that crops up. And it isn’t just in romantic relationships, but also within family dynamics, friendships, and people you meet during your day. There’s the misguided feeling that YOU are the one who must change them or help someone to “see the light”. And, there can also be feelings of entitlement coming from the people we engage with, who will feed on our weakened sense of what true compassion is.
If this speaks to your experience, then maybe taking time to really explore your feelings around these patterns and taking active steps to shift your approach may start to transform your experience around these kinds of unhealthy relationships. It all always begins with your relationship with yourself.
“Many highly sensitive people have asked me why they so often end up in relationships with narcissists or other negative types of people, who take advantage of us, drain our energy and take our kindness without giving anything in return. Whether these people are co-dependents, addicts, abusive, or narcissists, they disrespect our boundaries, blame, criticize and make us feel so bad about ourselves that we don’t have the energy to leave. So what is it about sensitive people and narcissists that creates such an attraction and leaves such a trail of destruction?” …..
Continue reading Deborah Ward’s entire article here: