The Ocean of My Being ~ Stretching My Heart as Never Before
Today’s blog post is a detour from what I originally thought I’d be sharing. Instead, the story weaver me has kicked into a different gear and is designing that piece into a work I may self publish soon, as it’s already on that pathway. This is an inspired segue flow before returning fully to my other heart works in process, although is cultivating them. I’m grateful for the creative muse within me that has been renewed through the experiences I’ve been surrendering to here by the ocean.
Briefly I’ll share that renewal on the deepest of levels yet, continues. Although I’ve known what is energetically evolving within me, it’s better understood by others if related to something one can connect dots with. To that purpose, it’s called a Chiron return in astrological terms (you can easily do a search if interested) that kicked in recently. It became evident during our May Playa del Carmen experience, which is synchronous since the theme of the ocean was there as well. This heralds a new paradigm in one’s life (we all go through it around mid-age) of integrating greater wholeness of being while an energetic excavation unfolds. The ocean has been amplified support with what has felt like a naturally unfolding process since I’m a water sign – Pisces. The Pisces me is going through a reconfiguration and renewed version of itself, along with the rest. I’m grateful it’s been relatively mild. It helps to be aware and have anchors. I haven’t had to do any specific work around it, as allowing and flowing is the way through.
There’s been some incredible and very pivotal experiences since last I wrote. I’m going to share some of the highlights that jump out to me, while showcasing some of the inspirational beauty and energy here. A few of the threads in this tapestry will hit on some of my energy movement with the Chiron return. Although they’ve tugged on heart strings, the profound way things have aligned and shown up so vividly, while still feeling so magickal, is the reason for my sharing.
Synchronously, the earrings I’m wearing below are seed bead weavings that their creator just happened to name, I Am Enchanting, and are meant to invoke the magickal within. I’ve been wearing different “enchanted” energy pieces most days, along with a variety of flannel shirts in a rainbow of colors. The cotton flannels are a mix of what I brought with me and a few I picked up here after envisioning the color schemes I wanted – they then showed up.
Being here by the ocean in my native element has proven to amplify everything right now, open portals, create divine alignment, and produce new layers of magick, creative flow, and powerful enrichment of being. Days have been in the low to high 60’s daily, with only a couple of days hitting 70 and things shift throughout the day from sunshine to fog, still to windy, overcast to clear, and everything in between. I fall asleep to the ocean’s music as my lullaby each night and wake to the shifting tides.
Today’s share is mostly a touch-in journaling to accompany the photo collages that I chose specifically for it. So, it’s more of a feast for the eyes with my words making sense out of them from my perspective. There’s way more than what I’m writing about, but I did highlight some of the more key things.
Regardless if you read or look at it all or not, I hope you, too, will find enchantment in the everyday and experience inspiration kindled in the seed of your soul.
This first photo collage is of a magickal little experience that happened when my eyes discovered this mini figurine of a little girl faery (she has wings at her back) that had been placed in the doorway held by a tree’s roots. You can imagine my surprise and joy to find her and like with most things I find, can only speak to alignment that I am able to see them at just the right moment, as they’d otherwise be missed. It was along one of the magickal hikes in the Fae enriched forests here that we’ve done. I felt I found myself in the tree.
This photo taken shortly after caught my eye when I saw it later. Do you see how the ferns are merging into my hair at the right? My hair seems to be morphing on that left side of my head. It’s subtle, but apparent. No other photo showed the same. I had remarked how this particular path through the forest was extra enchanted and felt familiar.
The moss carpeted forests are a fun change to explore. We have a lot of lichen at home in the mountains that at times can cover areas, trees and rocks, but here the moss is like a second skin to everything in the surroundings. There are so many tree portals and mini worlds we wander through. I particularly loved this doorway.
While mystical, it can also be mysterious and even a bit hair-raising to walk through some of the dense areas like these below. There’s the feeling of being watched and definitely deep forest energies. The middle photo to the collage below is of the fern-like mini moss that covers the grounds in most areas. It’s quite something!
And of course there are mushrooms galore. Although their season is passing through, I’ve still been finding quite a bit around corners and hidden here and there. The orange ones on the top left were actually giant in size. Dave found them down the hill from the trail. They were probably nearly a foot wide across. At times I’ve found toadstools lining what to me looks like a hidden path to a mini world into the deep forest…an invitation it has felt like, but I dare not wander as I may not return.
We’ve seen four banana slugs so far – a yellow one, two large green ones, and this brown one below. He was munching on a mushroom. Each time I’ve found them they’ve been on the trail and could easily be stepped on. So I move them off into the bushes.
The rugged coastline is beautiful and many of the hikes we do are on cliffs above the ocean with grand vistas along the way or that take you to a view spot. I’m soaking it all in and the layers moving through me on the wind and waves.
I just love the blossoms I find and when they’re framing the ocean it’s even better!
These next ones are of some of the vibrant splendor we’ve found on our walks through the neighborhood and little town on our way to hikes or at the end of them. I light up with the rainbow of colors and beauty I find blossoming. I particularly loved the pink and mauve plant Dave is admiring in the photo below. It looks so otherworldly or Dr. Seuss-like to me!
It happens to be blackberry season and not only can you find the wild blackberries growing along trails and roads, but we have this one spot in the neighborhood at the trailhead to a cool 6 1/2 mile hike we do from our place (we have at least 4 hikes right out our door starting from 4 1/4 miles up to this one) where there’s a huge area of amazing blackberry bushes. This trail goes through a rock path between bushes and trees, to a dense forest, and out to the ocean to circle us back along the beach home. Even though it’s behind a neighborhood, for some reason no one is picking them, so we’ve literally been picking about 3 pounds each time we go because they’re so abundant. We then enjoy them in huge fruit bowls Dave makes us in the mornings mixed with other fresh fruit and coconut, vegan yogurt, and topped with cacao powder. Mmmm! I also just recently started baking us a variety of scones with a bunch of blackberries added. Pumpkin and chocolate chip I’ve made so far, but have cinnamon streusel and cranberry orange still to make! They’re also great straight off the vine!
This next collage I’m sharing because of that crown chakra activation and rewiring I mentioned taking place during the first week that we were here. I haven’t had any more experience of the sensations I was feeling at the very top center of my crown, but I noticed these energies showing up around my crown and me in recent photos. They appear like rainbow veils, soft mists, and in some cases with these orb-like shapes that appear to me like the designs you find in butterfly wings.
There’s definitely that butterfly rebirth effect, lighting me up in a different way.
And the transformation energy has been strong! We’ve seen more snakes all at once than I ever have. On one particular day, which is captured below, there were three. This day and hike was the kick off to the first wave of deep changes that would move through me. Right after blackberry picking we crossed onto the trail and a garter snake nearly crossed over my toes, as I did. That was the first. Dave then got ahead of me and called my attention to the second one. When I caught up with him I was able to connect with the snake and these are photos I captured of him listening to me.
We continued on down the rock path and I then saw the third snake. However he had passed on. No evidence of injury – much like nearly all the animals I keep finding dead here (and there have been many and many varieties of species). They are in this perfect state, untouched, beautiful….they seem to just pass through the veils naturally in their own timing. That timing happens to align with me finding them and speaks to me of the transformational renewal I’m undergoing, as a natural process of soul evolution.
I have found it very soothing, cathartic and profoundly healing on deep levels without my needing to do anything other than intimately connect with these dearly departed ones and allow the flow to happen. I can feel their spirits so alive and their life force all around me. I come away with a little piece of each of them within me. I bury all that I am able to and do some energy stuff for each as well. This garter snake was so amazing to hold, as I moved him to an area I could create a burial at. I just love snakes and I’ve been so taken by feeling the physical of the totality of some of these beings. Somehow the miracle and mystery of how each body and intricate inner system, muscle, skin, etc. moves and feels, comes alive tangibly and awakens something in me.
Dave said I’ve become fascinated with death, as I stop, connect, and immerse with each transitioned being I always find. I see it as so much more and that I’m knowing life through death. Death is not something I fear. It’s merely a transition of our eternal spirits.
We continued on this hike after burying the snake. It was early evening, but the light lingers here for hours after. The next phase of the journey took us through dense forests and I was taken by the light portal in the sky ahead. In some ways it reminded me of a keyhole and in some ways, The Eye of Sauron. This whole hike felt like we were walking through a transitional doorway. There was a sense of things watching, deep stuff happening behind the scenes, and a message to keep moving forward, trusting ourselves, staying the course, and all will be well.
I did somehow find this perfect little dead mole hidden in the brush along this hike. Are we seeing a pattern and energy signature going on?
Everything is circling in infinite wholeness like the ouroboros.
I am simply surrendering to it all and letting it wash over and through me.
And there is a lot of fun and play alongside it all. We love this secret spot we found and I love this video of Dave swinging.
Our favorite thing to do is to ride the beaches at low tide. We have two spots that are on spits that are our go-to’s. The one right in front of where we are staying is my favorite and takes us along 12 miles roundtrip. Indigenous peoples once lived there and the energy is special, sacred, and magickal. Dave listens to beautiful music as he rides and I sing my own songs out loud on the wind – Rainbow Connection and Saturn by Sleeping at Last are my favs for this ride.
These are two of the short videos I took while we biked. They give you the feeling better than my words. As I share in the second one, I had just returned after a bald eagle sighting took place, which stopped me in my tracks of the previous video I was recording. It’s so amazing!
This third video is from one of our kayaking adventures just out front of where we’re staying. You can see how we’re surrounded by harbor seals and sealions. They love to congregate around us while they fish for dinner. Pelicans, seagulls, great blue heron, eagles, and other seabirds will fly around as well. The pelicans and seals will rest on the sand islands and beaches surrounding us in large colonies. I’ve been bonding a lot with the seals and sealions. It’s been amazing to kayak in the day, at sunset, and in the fog. I love the way the seals and sealions bob up and down between feeding and to peek at us. They look like little monks.
This collage below is river kayaking, which we’ve done twice in different spots. I love the rainbow energy in the right corner coming through and my eyes spotted all the stealth great blue herons along the shore that stood like statues so as only to be seen by those who can. I have found so many great blue heron feathers on this trip…the most ever. And of course many other feathered friends have sent gifts as well.
There is so much beauty to behold on Earth, it overwhelms me.
And the feeling is shared by my water sign copartner in it all.
We are immersing deeply into it all every single moment we can and are making each day count. Sometimes we do two or three adventures in a day to suck out all the marrow of life. Sometimes one deep dive is more than enough.
The sweetness of life emerges even more, the more we surrender to it.
Landscapes look like paintings to me.
That’s Mother Earth for you…the master painter of all time.
Just look at this work of art.
Yes, the treasures found in divine alignment, during portal openings, and underscored messaging continues.
Take a look at this mini sand dollar…the smallest to date I found. And it just so happens that on this same day I learned that my sweet soul sistar and friend Desiree, whom you may remember from our Winter Solstice gathering, found a nearly exact same size mini sand dollar while she was at a beach in Maine. She was away for the weekend there and only this one sand dollar, like the first I found, was there on the long stretch of beach. Star essence is streaming through to Earth! Desiree also found a bunch of treasures like me while in the desert of southern Nevada and Utah just recently. We’ve both been making sacred altars and tuning in to the message downloads.
And then there was this one!
Another super tiny starfish. What is it with these little ones?! I have a guess.
This one was again in a random place and is a mottled kaleidoscope of black, gray, sand and tawny colors.
And the joys of new life and birthing stars is all around.
Just look at this precious little spotted fawn with her mom. She reminds me so much of my special needs bunny, Cosmo!
Then this dear little buck appeared. He’s on his own at this age now and his sweet little antlers are just starting to sprout, covered in soft velvety newness.
And then there were three…three little rabbits, that is. I only got photos of two of them, but their brother was across the street.
I’ve heard and seen photos of the domestic, now feral rabbits that inhabit areas along the coast here. This is the first time I see it in person.
This has been the result of people abandoning their rabbits when they no longer want them, thinking it’s a good thing to do because there’s abundance for them to live in. However, they don’t take into account the conditions and predators that domestic rabbits are now exposed to. I’ll leave it at that and just flow with the energy streams in motion.
Aren’t they sweet though? They looked like triplets.
We’ve also seen actual wild rabbits zipping in and out of bushes with cottontails streaking like shooting stars. So magickal!
Snake friends continue, on, and on, and on…..
And then this snake messenger – the largest of all of them yet. They’re all different garter snakes, but this guy was a biggie!
On this day of his appearance I happened to be wearing cosmic serpent beaded earrings and we saw two snakes that day. I noticed the tail on this one just pass before my reaching him on the trail and then looked to discover him laying in the brush. We had just passed two women on the trail and Dave said, maybe we should wait for them to show them, as they may want to see it too. I was connecting with my snake friend and right after he finished saying that, the snake slithered off.
I said, “I don’t think he came out to see them. He wanted to talk to the girl with the snake tattoo and earrings.”
So many crabs and full crab exoskeletons we’ve found from their molting. Layers upon layers being shed and life renewed in new embodiment.
Aren’t these little red spotted ones so cute?
We see many jellyfish as well and have been saving some of them too – lifting them with rocks and sticks back to the ocean. This one stood out to me, as it spoke to me of a golden sun.
Ethereal great white friends enchanted me.
And the bald eagle sightings have continued. We’ve seen about five adults now and several juveniles.
Some other stand outs have been a black bear running across the trail ahead of us to go from one part of the forest to the next, a raccoon just lounging and hanging out at the corner of the road before we hopped on our bikes, and getting to observe the sweet little snowy plovers in their nesting season. People from the Audubon Society happened to be on the beach one day with telescope camera lenses set up to watch the parents as they were running back and forth from the nesting sights on the sand to feed the little ones. They invited me to watch through the lens and told me that they are doing their best to protect them, as only three nests made it last year in the area.
Then the healer and feeler in me who has deep compassion for all beings was taken further down the transmutational path of my Chiron return.
All of the death I’ve been integrating is my passage into deepening my relationship to the divine in a unified way that doesn’t wound, but empowers, expands, and ignites – the true power of Pisces when all parts are brought together. This is part of why my “fascination for the dead,” as Dave calls it, has risen to the surface so profoundly.
It’s my journey to oneness beyond just an idea. To create it as embodiment and integrate the divine into daily life.
These next few shares are about part of that journey, which is why I’m showing/expressing part of it here even though it may tug at your own heart strings. Tools for navigating these types of things shared vulnerably from my own journey. By confronting these emotionally tough experiences and consciously partnering in the processes that speak to my heart the most, I am able to piece together the underlying patterns at work, understand the deeper reasons, and see them all as part of divine perfection in their unfolding. This fosters greater trust, renewed faith, and eternal innocence.
This was the first major converging of hearts that took place after the initiatory hike through deep, deep forest with transformational messengers – finding a dead sealion on the beach we were biking. I am not going to fully detail these particular stand-out experiences, as they are very personal, but I think you’ll get the flow of it from what I do share and what I’ve prefaced this unfolding to be about for me.
Side note, I am the one who finds all the dead animals and these three big ones went unseen by Dave completely until we passed by on our return back and I showed them to him. Coming back allowed me to continue to do more connecting I felt was important to my evolution.
They were aligned with me, but it was evident had their own impact in a different way for Dave and he was able to energetically hold space for my journey.
I was deeply moved by profoundly experiencing this sealion up close. I literally took in every detail visually, energetically, and physically. It doesn’t show in the photos, but his eyes glistened like emeralds in the sunlight at just the right angle. He was perfect without injury…just had slipped off into the next world, as so many do and are doing these days in times of Earth’s transitions. I sensed by his condition and the energy that he had passed no more than a few hours before.
We exchanged a LOT and the message was to feel him through my hands. I was overwhelmed at the thick velvet of his pelt, the power in his body, both the playfulness and majesty of his being, and the fluidity of his presence. I was remembering and integrating.
We were one and I didn’t want to forget this experience that had such a pivotal place in my evolution.
Right after I left him, this incredible starfish appeared on the beach.
I was overwhelmed again, this time taken in by the royal purple I’ve never seen before. I could tell this one was special even when I first saw her upside down on the beach with that purple aura emanating around her. The color was so penetrating and vibrant, even more than in the photos. And the mini starfish that were etched at center of her body in her skin were amazing!
Of course I saved her, placing her back in the ocean. Her presence and color spoke to the energy that had downloaded and activated through my crown from the sealion encounter. Greater divine flow and unity emerging.
The purple coral echoed the message.
And then another profound exchange took place…this time with bald eagle.
Again, it happened right after my private time with the sealion.
I noticed bald eagle up on the hill overlooking the spit from her tree perch right after sealion and starfish. I stopped to connect and receive. There was an exchange while she turned her head to peer at me from both sides, as well as face me straight on. This was the pattern of her observation while we were connecting.
Then something happened that no one will ever believe, but it did.
She dipped her head down deliberately toward her belly in a curve and then right back up. It was a fluid and yet almost time-stands-still moment that ran chills through me. It was like an animated movie come to life, but it was real life. She was bowing to me! Tears welled in my eyes and I bowed in reflected honor right back.
She had observed the exchanges right before ours and this was her message. A bow that spoke volumes.
The very next day we returned to bike the spit again and the experiences increased in energetic volume.
This time it was this sweetheart – alive, but dying.
I began to connect that not only were these sacred grounds for the indigenous peoples, but the sea life had adopted it in much the same way. I felt they came here to die because of the energy it held and the portal I feel here to the otherworld, and because of the space I am in, our worlds collided in divine alignment.
This encounter hit me hard and while this could be it’s own post, the following is all I feel to write.
I found her on my own and thought at first she was dead, but she responded to my voice and I was able to see her move very weakly and with difficulty. No injuries apparent. She was simply getting ready to pass.
We exchanged a lot and I tuned in and sent her Reiki, and at one point she sat up with great effort, then collapsed back down with exhaustion. I didn’t want to leave, but went on to find Dave. We returned and there she continued to lay, slowly dying. I was communicating with her and doing a lot of energy work around supporting her highest good, helping with pain, asking for support to be with her through the process, and sending peace to her heart for what ever journey she was readying for. She did sit up one more time showing us the fullness of her glory and then collapsed for the last time. Her eyes kept my gaze and both thanked me and called me closer. That tugged at my heart the worst, as I knew I could not be with her physically to hold her through the end as we both wanted. Obviously she’s a wild animal and that places parameters my heart didn’t understand, but Dave reminded me.
It is not death that hits me hard, as I am at peace with the process. It was the fact that I couldn’t go to her and hold her through the journey onward that was too much to bear. Being there at her time and supporting her energetically is the only solace I had and ultimately is enough, but of course she would be the transformational tendril to reach the crevices of my heart that were evolving. I completed my energy work and with our eyes locked, I told her several times she was not alone and that I loved her. Tears streamed down and I cried out loud the whole way back. We found a ranger and told him where she was. He confirmed what I knew…they were not going to do anything in cases like these. Nature runs its course.
It took me a few days to let the feelings and evolution run its natural course. I was in an in between state during this time, as my Pisces heart was stretching, and knew I wouldn’t be the same. A lot of nature time supported the process and surrendering helped it flow. Having had the previous day’s experience with the dead sealion had prepared and helped me with the energetic parts. I was able to transfer the closeness through the collective stream and come to understand the connection that took place through both experiences.
And the very next day this happened.
Once again, I find a dead being on my own and am called by the whispers of their spirit to come closer. From far and behind, I thought this might have been another dead sealion. Then I thought sea turtle. But as I approached I was astonished to find this giant sunfish.
Again, no apparent injuries. Another spirit just moving on.
I’ve never seen a sunfish up close. I think one time I caught glimpse of one swimming from the deck of a boat, but I was in awe to see one in the light of all clarity.
Again, I did my own connecting, then went off to find Dave and we both returned. You can see how she looks like a sea turtle or sealion from behind in the above photo.
I found my process to already have shifted when coming upon this third experience. I did much the same energy work and connecting with the addition of being floored at how this was all happening and amazed at this incredible fish in front of me.
Sunfish is directly linked with my Sun being in Pisces – amplified! There could be no bigger reflection of myself before me and of the rebirth I was going through. To say, “wow,” is an understatement.
And through it all the magick and mystery continues, as our explorer hearts keep wandering the diverse beauty here. The landscapes set the perfect backdrop and the shifting weather is the perfect tone to support my changes.
Guiding messengers and affirming reflections reach through the veils, as I part them more.
They keep beaming through and inviting me on.
While much is rearranging, I feel myself merging with my surroundings and coming to know unity even more without losing a drop of who I am.
Most days my sun-kissed skin is sprinkled in sand, and the salty air tousles the silver strands in my hair.
I stand looking out at the ocean of my being and the Great Mystery keeps on flowing through my veins.