Monthly Archives: October 2017
A Harmonious Merging ~ Coming Home
I’ve never felt more myself than I do now at this point in my life…a feeling of returning back to my origins…of being most naturally me… Grounded and yet expansive. Inspired and free. New and old, Earth and Cosmos merging… There’s a wholeness that is anchoring and it feels like peace. I embrace my silver highlights from the Fae as the anchoring of ancient lineage coursing through my veins. I cherish the innocence of childlike purity that lights me from within like a star amidst the black of night.
And it is all rooted in love that takes me deeper daily into a return to natural harmony.
I am grateful and celebrate being.
Mine, yours, ours.
A friend saw my photo below and commented, “I can see dragon energy in your eyes.”
It made me take a second glance that took a hold of my spirit in a way I can’t explain.
I felt like I was home.
And indeed I am, which is being mirrored by our dream home we’ve anchored in.
I worked diligently with the Faeries and all Elementals, as well as the Animal Spirits (and some friends from beyond) of our new home and the land surrounding it to help align things and manifest it all. I knew the moment I stepped foot in it, it was the right house for us and that solidified when walking through the yard and the forest that surrounds it. I didn’t give up on it even when things could have gone different ways. The Faeries told me to trust and so I did. I always just know something and feel to the heart of things – that silver lining beyond the hurdles to get there.
And oh the magick that will be woven here!
It will take several months of craziness with remodeling and prep, but the Faeries are excited about the new energy and this haven being created for them and all of us to share. Much will evolve over time, even after the main work is done, since we can’t do anything to the yard until after Winter’s snow except plant eight new 12 foot Austrian Pines for now to create our sanctuary, which up here need to be in by October 15th due to very strict planting restrictions. So, I’m excited to have some new tree friends to join the forest collective.
These photos are taken on site, pre-changes, and reflect a new me rooting with the heart of this land and home, inside and out.
I’d just done some braiding magick with my hair the night before, turning myself into Pippi Longstocking – one of my fav styles for a wild, easy, and free mane. Not to mention, makes me feel like all of the parts of myself beyond this human experience of Tania.
It’s also the first time my silver is really stepping out in a big way. Normally you see the chunks laced through my hair, when it’s straighter, but with braiding it really creates a whole other effect that integrates it and spreads it around in a way I imagined myself to look in my sage years – AND how I look beyond what you know of me.
So fun to see that now, and what it draws forth from within my spirit to emerge. I have always been a lover of dichotomy and felt like a walking one – now more than ever!
And I LOVE how Astrid and I have the exact same hair colors just blended in different ways, which is incredible given I had no idea she was the one coming home with me. Just the other day I was laying next to her on the ground in my Reiki workshop and Bean said, “omgosh your hair is exactly the same color as hers.” This wasn’t the first time, as both Marcy and Sharon had said the same on the day I adopted her. We ARE one and the same….a witchy faery and her familiar for sure. 😉
I’m sure there are many who might not understand why I would enhance my already silver stripes growing in my hair, or think I look better with their version of “ideal,” but it’s simply my way of feeling most myself and revealing who I really am. I don’t mind having something associated with “old” mixed in with otherwise “young” looking things.
Perhaps these are both inversions of the oneness that is innocence.
I don’t strive to fit in. I live in a reality of my own creation.
I just want to be me…..the lifetimes and eons of me, here and now.
While others might feel more aligned with doing everything to look younger or create longevity, I’m just comfortable in feeling at home and desiring creative expression and quality versus quantity of life for however long that is meant to be.
I still get told I look half my chronological age, but now my hair throws in a curve ball, which to me feels more aligned because while physically I may be one thing, in heart and spirit there is quite another going on.
I feel both that heart of a child skipping with Mother Nature and also sometimes feel like Father Time spiraling through the cycles.
I’ve written about the “silver lining” before and how this approach to life has trickled into embodiment for me by literally turning into silver-streaked hair. Had you asked me years ago if I’d be proudly wearing silver hair, I’d likely had thought no way, but I’ve learned that things turn on a dime. Just as certain trajectories we were on have shifted into new, merged versions that encompass a higher good.
Before I felt like there were multi-paths I was working on all at once, and now it feels like they’ve merged together, providing all the same things and possibilities, but integrated.
Kind of like having silver hair and yet dressing, looking, or otherwise being what you’d think is opposite to that. It’s all connected and more and more we are breaking down limiting ideas and rules and creating new versions of experiencing everything aside from conditioning.
Hard to explain, but it feels good and allows me the ability to root further, play more, and rest along the way.
This feels to be the reflection of my hair, as well as our home.
There’s a sense of returning home and yet the irony is, we never left.
It’s simply the journey made conscious and our origins actualized for our human beingness to realize.
Astrid’s Journey Reflects My Own: Relaxing into the Nature of Our Origins
It has been such a joy to watch Astrid relax more and more into her true self and feel safe, loved, and vulnerably expressive. It’s been just over 3 months since first she came home to us, but during that time she has come to know true comfort and joy in realizing she is here to stay and has a best friend for life in me. I’ve seen her evolve into the being I saw her to be, and not the outside persona she portrayed because of conditioning and filtering she learned to exhibit to not only survive, but to invoke others to rise to their best. She has been an example and reflection of how to view things from your heart, not judge a book by its cover, and to dig deep to celebrate the true nature of things beyond what your eyes and mind might otherwise want to react to.
Although she still is working through things and this will continue to evolve more and more over time, she is also feeling the true comfort and joy of bunnyness that she dreamed of and knew was in her nature to be.
Sounds much like me/mom, and the place I’ve come to in my life after deep explorations, surrendering, and relaxing more into my true origins of my own nature. No coincidence she and I share a journey we can support one another with and perhaps even maybe help inspire for others on a similar trajectory.
Although we’re in this interim place right now in between remodeling work being done on both places, not having furniture, and simply in process of a big move, she and our other fur babies are doing well and having fun exploring and discovering new hiding places.
This interim place seems to reflect where we all are along our transitioning journey – both animals and humans alike – in going through this huge growth spurt and relaxing more deeply into the nature of who we are – in essence, coming home to our origins.
We have a several month period of transition to go through together as a family unit, but in the end, much expansion, freedom, and creative potential awaits us. Through diligence, patience, commitment, belief, love, and keeping an eye only on moving forward from this moment, we will get through this crazy chaos with a foundation of peace at our cores to keep us on track.
And the more we each embody that, the more we support one another with it as well, as there will be times we each take the lead or are being guided by whom ever is able to move into that embodiment first – no right or wrong, no better or worse, but simply a beautiful co-creative experience for sure that is based on the foundation of pure love.
Anyway, I just love seeing Astrid’s journey first hand, and feel so grateful and blessed she has chosen me as her partner in life. Even if she has challenges in other regards, she demonstrates something altogether different with me and has come to be bonded with me in a very powerful way that helps her to feel safe because she trusts me and that bond. She is coming out more and more, but definitely will always be a one-person bonded bunny more than anything and I’m honored that she chose that person to be me.
Alongside some of the sweet things I’ll share, she has also been demonstrating her desire to be a part of everything we do as a family and to be a part of gatherings when we have people over that she likes. She will now come and stay out with everyone, hanging around to hear things and energetically join in on the group energy. She lets people she likes come and pet her, she will come out to say hi and makes it clear who she resonates with and who she doesn’t in terms of deciding to share her energy or not with (that boundary demonstration again). Even if she wants to remain alone, she will at least come out of her hiding places and give people a nose nudge to acknowledge them and give them a little bunny energy, then return back.
She also made appearances during my Reiki workshop the other day, which was her first to be part of. I could tell she had prepped the room’s energy before too and when I was doing the initiation attunements, she sat a few feet directly behind with one ear back and one ear forward, tuning in and supporting the process, as well as learning, and aiding me. That was powerful and beautiful to share with her.
But some things are too precious for words and photos do more justice to share.
One thing I’ve really REALLY been so moved to see is how Astrid in the last couple of weeks has finally done something I’d been waiting for, which is to vulnerably throw herself on her side and fall deeply into sleep without remaining cautious and on full alert. Although bunnies always are alert, I’ve wanted her to relax into this kind of sleep that my other bunnies used to do, which to me demonstrates true comfort and joy. Before then she was always laying in more “up” positions and ears alert and eyes open or immediately opened…and now she goes into true bunny dreamland and relaxes.
She does still love to have those feet grounded though and so usually will be found with her feet up against a wall or box or whatever she can find so that even though her body is floating on a bunny cloud, those feet or rooted and ready for action if necessary. I love that. It’s also sweet because it exposes her magickal silver toes.
This picture mesmerizes me to look at and I feel so much from it….mostly that is LOVE.
And although she still runs the show around here with the cats, Boojum’s persistence has found some acceptance by Astrid, although she has his number and keeps him in check. 😉
Another very cool thing miss Astrid has discovered, is the second story to her Magick Carrot House. She knew something was there, as she would look up the ramp inside of it since the beginning, but never ventured up.
But now everyday, after she enjoys her new spot on the bottom of the cat tree, she can be found nestled upstairs in her bedroom on the second story of the Magick Carrot House.
It’s the cutest thing ever and so hard to capture through the tiny carrot windows, but at least these photos give you a tiny glimpse of her sacred bedroom space she enjoys being in.
I love when she sticks her nose through the carrot window to say hi to me when I come by sometimes.
Cuteness overload for sure.
I CANNOT WAIT to create her and my new space in our new home. I have so many ideas percolating and surprises in store for her. My room is her room, so it will definitely be the magickal rabbit sanctuary and secret lair. So much fun awaits!
But for now, miss Queen Astrid is also enjoying tons of fun in anticipation of it all on the new blow up living room Dave got us for the next 2 month interim of all the remodeling and moving craze. She’s having a bouncy good time! And brings giggles to my heart.
I just adore her and love how big she is too….I adoringly call her Monster Bunny and Koala Bunny, as she is not only a huge presence, but truly is physically a power bunny embodied (similar to a bear cub, which someone called her yesterday) with a heart of gold and the alchemy of a cosmic wizard.
Yes, she is home…. Forever. And so am I.